Love Unexpected

by Q. B. Tyler

  “I’d say on paper only but you’re not even listed on her birth certificate. You’re nothing. A phantom. Which is how you wanted it, right?” Dominic snarls as he flexes his fists.

  “Dominic…” I start, not wanting this to become an even bigger scene, today of all days. “People are staring. Can we not do this now?”

  Dominic’s eyes find mine and they soften as he reaches up to stroke my tear-stained cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he whispers before he pulls me into a hug. “Do you want to leave?”

  I nod against his chest and wrap my arms around him, finally feeling the warmth I’ve needed all afternoon. His large body engulfs my tiny one, warming both my outsides and insides on the worst day of my life.

  “I want you to have my number.” Micah’s voice interrupts us and much to my disappointment, Dominic lets me go. I look to Micah to find him holding a card toward me. “Call me. Day or night. I’d like to know you, Stassia…” He looks Dominic over before looking at me. “I’d like a chance to start over.”

  “I don’t need a father…” I shake my head, hearing how it sounds and not wanting Dominic to get offended. “I mean…I have one.”

  “Well, maybe we can be friends?” He’s still holding the card out and I watch him lower it slightly as he notices I’m not reaching out to grab it.

  Fire blazes in Dominic’s eyes as he snatches it from his hands. “You said your piece, now go. If she wants to contact you, she will.”

  Micah shakes his head as he stares at the card still in my stepfather’s hand. “I am sorry for your loss, Stassia. Your mother was an amazing woman. I wish things had been different. Maybe in another life…” He looks at my grandparents and then Dominic before landing on me. “I hope to see you soon.”

  * * *

  “You’re almost eighteen, so I suppose I can’t stop you,” Dominic says as he hands me the card with Micah’s information.

  It was the following day and I had just emerged from my room after a much needed fourteen hour sleep. I’d succumbed to exhaustion about halfway through the repast and left Dominic with all of my loud, overbearing, yet well-meaning family and his as my grandmother stroked my hair.

  I look up at him and then down at the once pristine card that had now been folded in half and smelled like it had been soaked in gin. “I don’t…really know what I want.”

  “You don’t have to make any decisions right now.” I notice he’s not dressed for the day, wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt that stretched tightly across his muscles and torso and I let my eyes feast on the visual for no more than a second before averting my gaze. “Do you want some coffee?” I nod, knowing the small source of comfort will at least snap me out of the groggy feeling. I sit down in one of the chairs and rest my head on the kitchen table as I hear him placing a cup in the Keurig. “You still tired?” he asks. “You want to go rest? I can bring your coffee up to you.”

  My head snaps up at his kind offer. I’m not used to this side of Dominic.

  Kind. Caring. Protective.

  Well, he’s always been those things in his own way, but he usually goes about it very differently.

  “Can we talk about the elephant in the room?”

  He turns from where he’s preparing my coffee and stares at me. His blue eyes are curious and he cocks his head to the side as if to say well, on with it. “Can…I stay? I mean, my grandparents live kind of far, and although I know you wouldn’t kick me out, I’ve got a month before my senior year is over and then I’ll be gone at the end of the summer.”

  “I didn’t realize I’d given you any indication that I wanted you to leave.” He crosses his arms over his chest and the way they flex catches my attention. “Of course, you can stay, Stassia. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to go and stay with your grandparents. As far as that…” he nods towards the card in my hand, “I would prefer you not meet with him alone the first few times…at least not until he’s been cleared completely.”

  “Do you not trust him?”

  “I’m not sure, yet. He’s your father, Stassi, so I’m not going to say you can’t see him. I’m just…apprehensive. I would like to know more before I go sending you into something that could be dangerous. Your mother would never forgive me.” He grabs my coffee and some creamer from the fridge before moving through the kitchen towards me. He sets my favorite FRIENDS mug in front of me and the hazelnut creamer beside it before taking the adjacent chair at the table. “It would kill me to lose you too, Stassia…you’re…you’re all I have left.”

  “Me?” I squeak. “You have your parents and your siblings, I’m not all…”

  “You’re all I have left of her,” he corrects.

  I swallow, nodding slowly as his words sink in. “I’m skeptical about Micah too, Dominic. I’m not going to sneak off and meet up with some random stranger.”

  “I thought you wanted to get to know your father.”

  I shrug before taking a small sip of my coffee. “It’s different now that he’s right in front of me. Now that the opportunity is there. It was easy to fantasize when I didn’t know him. When he wasn’t in front of me full of potential lies and half assed apologies.” Maybe he wasn’t completely full of shit, but maybe my mother kept me away from him as I got older to protect me from the disappointment and rejection that inevitably comes when dealing with a fair-weather father. Hiding a few stray birthday cards that he sent over the years hardly makes my mother the villain in this story.

  I chew on my lower lip and look up at him. “The only father I’ve ever known has never lied to me. At least that I know of.”

  “Never.” He nods and the sincerity radiates from his blue orbs. I give Dominic a hard time but I know he loved my mother. This is just as hard on him as it is on me.

  I look around the kitchen. She’d turned this house into a home and it feels unfathomable that I have to stay here without her. Like somehow, this isn’t a home anymore. “I can’t believe she’s gone.” My voice cracks and I take another sip of my coffee to try and clear the emotion from my throat.

  As if he can hear my thoughts, Dominic speaks up. “Would you like to stay somewhere else tonight? Maybe Kate’s? Or I can get you a hotel room if you want? If it’s too hard to be here right now?”

  “No…I…I don’t want to leave you here.”

  “I’ll be okay, Stassia.” I hear his words, but his demeanor says something else entirely. Something calls out to me, and although I had no intentions of leaving in the first place, I shake my head.

  “No, we’re in this together, Dominic.”

  Days turn to weeks, and neither of us has returned to school. Since I’m a senior, my year ends in the middle of May, which means I’ve essentially missed the last of my high school career. Prom, the class picnic, yearbook photos, taking my claim as ‘Best Smile Class of 2019,’ I’ve missed all of it. Dominic is on leave for the remainder of the year, and although I’m not required to return, it’s my last week of school, and after being gone for nearly a month, I think seeing my friends will do me some good. I’m still planning to walk across the stage, and I need my cap and gown, although Kate told me more than once she’d pick it up for me. But I need some sort of normalcy.

  But how will things ever be normal again without my mother?

  Children are taught, unless they tragically succumb first, that they will lose their parents at some point in life. It’s never easy, and even older adults struggle to cope; why did I have to do this at eighteen? Before I’ve even lived? There is so much I still need her to teach me.

  I’ve never been in love before. I haven’t lost my virginity. I’ve never lived on my own. Or owned a car. I don’t know anything about a 401k or interest rates or the best time to buy a house. I don’t even know how to cook anything besides toast and scrambled eggs. Who will teach me all of that?

  Dominic’s face briefly flashes through my mind regarding the more practical things. He’s taught me how to ride a bike and to drive, but I still need her.

  I head down th
e stairs, my flip flops slapping against the hardwood with every hop until I reach the bottom. I’m wearing a black sundress that highlights my waistline and comes to just above my knees underneath a chambray shirt that I rolled to my forearms with my hair pulled into a sleek ponytail that grazes the tops of my shoulders. It’s the first time I’ve put any effort into my appearance in weeks, and it feels good. For the first time in a month, I see a glimpse of my old self.

  Dominic is sitting in the kitchen reading the newspaper like he does every day, when he must hear me coming. He looks up and meets my gaze. Unashamedly, I watch as eyes wash over me from my feet to the ponytail on the top of my head. He turns back to his newspaper, like he can’t look away fast enough. “Going somewhere?”

  “School,” I tell him as I pull out a cup of yogurt from the fridge. “Can you drive me? Or I can ask Kate to pick me up?”

  He turns around to face me and concern flashes in his eyes. “You know I don’t like you riding around with kids your age.”

  “Which is why I asked if you’d drive me.” I pull off the lid and lick it before tossing it in the trash can. “It’s my last week of school…I’m trying, Dominic.”

  He nods before letting out a deep sigh. “You’re right. Of course. It’ll do you some good to see your friends. Let me just go get dressed.” His words resonate, and I find myself wondering if any of his friends had checked on him. If his siblings had reached out since the funeral. His brother, Seth, who is truly one of the sweetest guys ever, had flown here for the funeral but had to fly out the next morning on an early flight to be back in Florida for a meeting, so they didn’t get to catch up.

  My grandparents, however, have been here two to three times a week, and Mama’s friends from the hospitals visit on a constant loop with food and labors of love. I swear my mother’s favorite nurse has done more of our laundry this month than I have.

  Is Dominic lonely? Does he have anyone besides me? Or is he pushing everyone away while dealing with being a widower for the second time?

  I don’t have a ton of time to contemplate this because he’s back almost as quickly as he left wearing sweatpants and a Lakewood High football t-shirt that takes at least ten years off his age. He doesn’t say anything as we head to the car and he’s silent almost the entire twenty minute ride to school. “Are you mad at me or something?” I ask just before he drops me off. I’m no stranger to his anger but I’d at least like to know why so I can proceed accordingly with goading him.

  “Of course not.” His eyes are fixed on the road.

  I turn in my seat to face him and I take a moment to admire his profile. A strong nose, a sharp jaw, and long lashes that rest on his skin whenever he blinks. “Why are you being so…sullen?”

  He runs his tongue over his teeth and takes an exasperated breath. “It’s nothing, Stassia.”

  “But…”

  “I said to drop it.”

  I cross my arms and face forward. “You’re being a dick.”

  “Don’t start.”

  “What’s going on with you? Is this about Mama? Or some weird man thing? If you’re not mad at me—”

  “It’s not about you, Stassia. Not everything is about you,” he snaps.

  “Wow.” I bite my bottom lip in an attempt to shield myself from the angry words washing over me. He pulls to a stop in front of the school and I hop out without another thought, slamming the door behind me. I turn around, hoping he’s preparing to apologize but all I see is that fucking profile. He’s facing forward without another glance at me and then he’s gone.

  That interaction with Dominic puts me in a mood for most of the morning. The day that had started out with so much promise, has been shot to shit with my stepfather’s behavior. Why the fuck do I care? We are at each other’s throats ninety percent of the time; why does it bother me so much all of a sudden?

  Things are different now, a voice speaks from somewhere within.

  By lunchtime, I’m done mulling over Dominic’s peculiar mood swing. I sit down at my usual table in the courtyard just behind the school where seniors can eat lunch and Kate is already shooing people away to make room. “Oh my God, finally, we can talk.” Sadly, I don’t have any classes with Kate, so the only talking we get to do is between classes, at lunch, or when we’ve decided to ditch.

  She’s pulling her blonde hair into a ponytail just as a few guys from the football team start to crowd around us. “What do you think of doing something Friday night? Last day of school…” she trails off and instantly, as if they’d planned this ambush, Carter James chimes in.

  “It’s my folks’ anniversary, and they’re going to some bed and breakfast in the Hamptons in New York. I’ll have the place to myself all weekend.” I can practically see the want in his eyes as he lays out the perfect scenario that leads to him and me fooling around in his bed. I didn’t hate the idea because his tongue game is good, but I’m not sure I want to lose my virginity this weekend and I have more than enough smarts to know that if I’m not sure, I shouldn’t do it. Especially when I’m this vulnerable.

  Carter James is gorgeous, a regular doppelganger of Michael B. Jordan in Creed. Girls and women practically fall at his feet just so that he’ll flash those gorgeous brown eyes at them even if most of the time they’re fixated on me. He’d wanted to be exclusive at the start of the year, but I’ve kept him in the friends with benefits zone for reasons I don’t even really understand. He’s smart and gorgeous and the most popular guy in school with a full ride to the University of Maryland to play football. He doesn’t have a reputation for banging half the girls in my grade like some of his friends and he treats me with the utmost respect. And yet, I don’t want more. Was I the fuckboy here?

  Well, fuckgirl?

  His dimple forms and I see his perfect smile. “Come on, Vale, it’ll be fun.” He takes a bite into the apple he’s holding before coming around the table and leaning over me. His hand finds my chin and strokes it gently before pulling it up to meet his in a kiss. A kiss I give in to because I know all about the claim thing guys like to have when they’re around their friends, so every once in a while, I let him have it. It’s a short, sweet kiss that warms my heart, especially after the iciness that had been doled out towards me this morning. “Please?” he asks and I look around the table at all of our friends who appear to be pleading with their eyes.

  “Okay sure.” I shrug. “I’m in.”

  The idea of going to sixth period has long been forgotten as Kate and I took a few hits from her bowl that she keeps in her glove compartment followed by a trip to Chick-Fil-A for French fries and milkshakes. “So, how’s it going? I mean…besides the obvious?” We’re in the parking lot, with the windows down as old school Kanye plays in the background. I push the shake around the cup, mixing the whipped cream into it and pulling the straw out to suck the flavors out of it.

  “Shitty. But what can you do?”

  “How’s it been being alone with Dominic?” Kate is privy to our ongoing battles and I’m shocked she didn’t use her usual name for him which is “the sex on a stick stepfather from hell.”

  “He’s been okay. A little weird when he dropped me off, but maybe he was just having a bad morning.”

  She nods in understanding before stuffing a few fries in her mouth. “Are you going to stay with him the rest of the summer?”

  “Yep.”

  “Oh good, then I have the whole summer with you. I’d hate if you went all the way to Virginia to stay with your grandparents. I’d never see you.” She taps her cup with mine and sucks down a healthy sip of her cookies and cream milkshake.

  Kate is brilliant beyond belief and is going to MIT next year to study biochem or chemical engineering or some shit that would account for eighty percent of her social life. But that meant she’s been planning for this summer to be epic before we’re separated for the first time in ten years. We’d been best friends since elementary school, bonded by our hatred of P.E. and our love of Disney movies, so preparing to
go to college without each other in tow has weighed on us both. I’ll even admit a part of me felt guilty that I was throwing a wrench in the debaucherous plans she had for us this summer because I had no plans to go out every weekend like I’m sure she intended for us.

  “Are you going to have sex with Carter this weekend?” She blinks at me and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Kate is as invested in my virginity as I am, I swear. Kate lost hers at the beginning of this year to Brax Hinton, the star running back and one of Carter’s best friends. They’d been together almost a year before they did but she’d made him wait because he’d been a bit of a manwhore before she came along. It’s been about nine months since then and they seem to be going strong for now. Although, I can’t see how they’ll handle the distance with her head in the books at MIT and his head…possibly between some cheerleader’s legs at the University of Florida.

  “I don’t know, K. I don’t think so.” I’m not necessarily opposed to it or Carter. I just feel indifferent towards the idea. Which means I shouldn’t, right? Shouldn’t I be feeling some passionate response to the person I choose to lose my virginity to? The apathy I feel towards giving him something that special makes me feel like it’s the absolute wrong choice even if he is a nice guy with good head game.

  “Whyyyyy?” she whines. “Come on, you do not want to go to college still being a virgin.”

  I lean my head back against the headrest and let my eyes flutter closed dreading the case she’s about to make. “And why don’t I?”

  She blinks her green eyes several times, as if she’s preparing to impart her wisdom. “Because guys in college won’t be concerned with getting you off. Some frat fuck won’t take the time needed to make you feel good.”

  “Then that isn’t the right guy. There are nice guys in college, you know.” Maybe I’d read too many romance novels, but I find it hard to believe there aren’t guys in college that would take the time to make a woman feel special. Especially her first time.