by Q. B. Tyler
He sets the pot down without pouring himself a cup and passes me the cream from his side of the table. “I’ve always been nice to you, Stassi.” He shrugs and opens his menu. “Maybe you didn’t see it that way, but at very least I’ve always treated you respectfully.” I can hear the sincerity in his voice and see it all over his face. He leans forward slightly and reaches his hand across the table, setting it on top of mine. He squeezes it gently and gives me a small smile. “I know we used to go back and forth and sometimes you may not understand where I was coming from, but I thought you knew that I always cared about you and wanted the best for you.”
“You were overbearing.”
He lets out a sigh and slides his hand back across the table. Somewhere deep inside I miss his warm hands encased around mine. I frown because the feeling is foreign and confusing and I am not trying to deal with it before I’ve had coffee. “I was new to the parenting thing and you were…are…a handful. I was just trying to keep you safe and alive, Stass.”
“Maybe you should have focused harder on Mom,” I mumble and I’ll admit it was below the belt but it just came out. I look up into sad blue orbs and instantly feel like the biggest bitch on the planet. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply it was your fault…it—”
“No, Stass. I understand, and if you need someone to blame, I’ll be that person. I’ll be whatever person you need me to be. I’m sorry I failed you and her. But I swear I’m going to keep you safe.” I put my coffee cup to my lips and blow gently on the hot liquid as I stare at him with curious eyes. He’s different, that much I’m certain. I can see it in his eyes, in his demeanor. But I can’t figure out why. “As far as the past week…” He trails off and clears his throat. “I was a jerk to you and I’m sorry.”
Now is the time to get all my questions out so we have a shot at actually enjoying this trip. “Was it about Micah?”
“Partly. I don’t trust him and I didn’t think he deserved to be there on such a big day for you. But it wasn’t my call to make, and I’m sorry that I took my anger over that out on you.”
I nod and lean forward on the table. “I don’t like it when you’re mad at me…at least not anymore.” I bite my bottom lip and look out the window towards the parking lot, spotting Dominic’s car. “I feel like things were changing between us the week before graduation. I felt like we were becoming friends…and I liked that. You shouldn’t worry about Micah…I don’t need him, Dominic. I need you.”
“I know that, Stass. I guess I’m just protective over you and I was trying to think how your Mom would have handled everything and I felt like I let her down. I shouldn’t have made such a scene and I’m sorry that I made you uncomfortable.”
I hadn’t imagined he was feeling guilty over how he reacted to him being there. That he felt embarrassed for getting in a low-key pissing match with my birth father. I hadn’t been embarrassed. In fact, I went back and forth feeling bad that Dominic felt in any way threatened by Micah’s presence and slightly turned on at how he chose to handle it.
Keep that to yourself, Stassi.
“And on a lighter note, yes,” he grins from ear to ear as the waitress approaches our table, “I have been working out.”
A few hours later, after passing miles of beach and crossing that familiar bridge that led to our beach house, we are pulling onto our property. I’ll admit Dominic and my mom did good. The house is a gorgeous white three-story, highlighted by a balcony that wrapped around the middle floor with a pool and hot tub just behind the house. We were a stone’s throw from the beach and there were many nights when I was younger that I fell asleep listening to the waves crashing onto the shore.
I hop out of the car, so ready to ditch these travel clothes, get into a bathing suit and take a nap under one of our umbrellas by the pool.
“Place looks better than I remembered.”
“I had some additions done last year, and it’s been a while since you’ve been here. Did you even come last year?”
“Doubt it,” I tell him as I grab my suitcase from the back and start moving towards the gray stone steps that lead to the front door. I hear Dominic unpacking the car as I plop down on one of the lounges on the front porch. I take a deep breath, smelling the salt in the air, and feeling the warm wind on my skin. This is just what I need. Some time away from everything.
Although I had succumbed to tears a few times, it feels like I’m not coping. I barely have the energy to keep myself going from day to day. I focused on hour to hour and sometimes minute to minute. For the most part, I disallowed myself to dwell on the pain I’m feeling so I do everything I can think of to keep my mind off of it. Maybe this is the perfect place to really start healing. Without the helpful but very prying eyes of everyone around me. I lean my head back against the chair and let my eyes close as I wonder how different my life was a few months ago. A deep sigh leaves my chest and when my eyes flutter open, Dominic is standing over me. “Want to go in?”
“Definitely. I can’t wait to get out of these clothes.” I hear him trailing behind me and I’m instantly met with the sharp contrast of the freezing cold temperatures of the house. “Holy shit, it’s cold in here!”
I hear chuckling behind me. “I had them cut on the air when they came to clean the pool and hot tub, I guess they set it to arctic chill.” I’m bouncing on my heels as I watch Dominic move the thermostat a few degrees before he looks at me. “Let’s just get outside; it’s much warmer out there.”
“Seriously.” I don’t even bring my whole suitcase, I just rip into it for my bathing suit, my hat, my kindle, and some sunscreen. Within minutes, I’ve donned a yellow bikini that in no way shape or form would my mother let me wear anywhere but our private pool. The bottoms are a thong style that covers the space between my legs and not any part of my ass. The top covers everything, though just barely, held together by two strings that tie behind my neck.
I pull my hair from the confines of my bun and let it spill around my shoulders in a mass of curls and grab my sunglasses that had been previously on my head and put them back, pushing my mane back behind my ears. I grab the towel and sling it over my shoulder as I make my way down the stairs to hear him making something with a blender. I head into the kitchen which is the last stop before the deck and stare at him. “Whatcha making?”
“Daiquiris. Virgin of course.”
“Oh fun! Bring me one, pool boy!” I say with a snap of my fingers and skip out the door without another thought. I pull my chair underneath the umbrella so that I don’t completely roast on the first day. It’s only ten a.m. and the sun is already intense, which means by twelve, I’ll barely be able to stand it if I don’t pace myself. I slather my thirty SPF sunscreen on and put on my white floppy hat to deter the sun from beating down on my black hair. I dip my toe in the water and I’m pleased that it’s not freezing but feels like a perfect seventy degrees.
A cough behind me alerts me that Dominic is here and when I turn around, I note his gaze is about a foot lower than my eyes. For a moment, I feel like he’s ogling me, feasting his eyes on all my flesh on display. My eyes are hidden behind my sunglasses but his are very visible and I watch as he drinks me in for what feels like an eternity. Up my legs, my torso, over both breasts and finally he meets my eyes. “Your uh…daiquiri.”
I lick my lips and take a step forward to take it from his hand. “The water is perfect.”
“Good.” He shakes his head before taking a step back. “Don’t uh…wear that to the beach.”
“Seriously? But…it’s cute.”
“You’re barely covered up. It’s not appropriate.”
“I’m eighteen, Dominic. Relax.”
I see a flash of something in his eyes that I don’t really understand. It’s almost like he’s surprised or as if he’d forgotten my age. “Change if you go anywhere but this pool, I mean it, Stassia.” He’s moving up the stairs without another glance towards me before slamming the sliding glass door.
“Okay, grumpy, shee
sh.” I set the drink down before taking a very healthy sip and moan as the strawberry flavors explode on my tongue. I swipe a finger through the whipped cream sitting on top and slide it between my lips before settling back in my chair. I take a peek behind me to make sure Dominic isn’t planning to come back because I know he’d act all weird and uncomfortable over what I’m about to do. I untie my top, not wanting the inevitable tan lines that would come with this suit before sliding my chair slightly out from underneath the umbrella. I lie on my stomach at first, just in case he comes back and open my kindle app to the latest book I’m reading.
I’m at the beginning of the book which is my favorite part. It’s when everything is heated looks and touches as the couple tries to hide the feelings bubbling below the surface. When the tension is so palpable you can almost feel the heat through the pages. The time just before the couple gives in to their desires with explosive, passionate lovemaking. A slow burn that is so delicious you can almost taste it. And my God, I can taste it.
* * *
About an hour later, I realize Dominic hasn’t come outside and I frown in confusion when he seemed all about getting some sun. I tie my top back together and grab my empty glass for a daiquiri refill before heading up the stairs. The kitchen is empty and I don’t hear any noise on this floor, making me wonder if maybe he’s decided to take a nap after the long drive and those Red Bulls finally wore off. I make my way through the quiet house and up the staircase and towards what used to be my mom and Dominic’s room.
“Dominic?” I knock quietly and I don’t hear anything. I knock again a little louder before pushing through the door. I let out a sigh of relief but also of concern when I don’t see him. I realize then that the water is running in his bathroom and he must be in the shower. I turn around to exit his room when a noise catches my attention. It’s a loud, low, throaty groan that makes every single one of my hairs stand on end. The goosebumps are almost painful as they appear all over my arms and legs and I can’t escape the tingle between my legs that feels like someone has set a fire. It’s as if I have no control over my body as it propels me forward closer to the noise that seems to be getting louder and louder.
I’m right against the door now, holding my breath, my body physically shaking in…fear? Arousal? Probably a mix of both. Some of his groans are guttural like a roar and some are low moans. Then there’s his voice. His words are like a passionate plea that I can feel in the depths of my soul. Like he’s begging for his climax.
“Yes. Yes. Yes.”
“Right there.”
“Fuck.”
“I can’t…can’t…”
Can’t what? I wonder. I stand there for I don’t know how long listening to my stepfather in this intimate carnal moment.
I rub my legs together trying to create some friction without literally sticking my hand down my bikini bottoms. As much as I want to, I can’t. I shouldn’t. My sex clenches in response, dying for some relief but I do my best to ignore it and focus on what’s happening on the other side of the door.
My God this is hot. Hotter than the time I figured out what kind of pornography he watched. I’d borrowed his computer once when mine was being temperamental and I needed something printed. I couldn’t look away from the first site that popped up when I started typing Google into the search bar. Something about Good Girls. In a moment of curiosity, I’d clicked and was fascinated by the older men and younger, legal though just barely, girls engaging in quite frankly some of the hottest sex I’d ever seen.
A loud slap breaks my thoughts and I jump slightly, thankful that no sound escapes my lips. I hear another groan and, “Fuck, I am so sorry.” I frown, wondering what he means by that. Why is he apologizing? And to who?
The sound of the water shutting off makes my eyes widen and as quickly and as quietly as I can I back out of the room.
I don’t breathe again until I’m safely in the hallway. I sprint to my room and close the door and begin to pace back and forth wondering what in the hell I just did, invading his privacy, and more importantly, why the fuck I’m still so horny.
Maybe I should just get off and get it over with.
“No, I can’t.” I told myself that is a line I can’t cross. I can’t allow myself to touch myself thinking about my stepfather because I’m worried it would become my go to. It would become what I need to come and nothing would work the same. I’ve always been very careful to keep him out of my thoughts when my hand is between my legs and I can’t start now.
Not while we’re alone in the house.
Not while we’re both vulnerable.
Not while he’s lonely.
Not now that I’m legal.
I give myself about ten minutes before I head down the stairs and back to the pool. I’m surprised to see Dominic outside and reading a book with a fresh daiquiri on the table next to my chair.
“There you are, I was wondering where you went.” It’s not lost on me that he hasn’t looked up from his book even as I approach him.
“Yeah…I…uhhh had to use the bathroom. I was going to see if you were hungry, but you were in the shower.” Why did I say that? Why?
His eyes snap to mine, and surely enough, ghost down my body again. Even though he’s wearing sunglasses, I see his head move slowly downwards and then upwards. “That swimsuit should be illegal,” he says looking back to his book and a shiver runs through me despite the warm temperatures.
“Really, now?” I sit at the end of his pool chair, moving his feet that are stretched out to make room.
“Stassi, you’re barely covered.”
“Well, it’s a good thing it’s just you here.” I raise an eyebrow at him and he doesn’t respond. We just stare at each other and I feel the heat radiating from him that has nothing to do with the temperature. His bare muscular chest is glistening as he begins to sweat and I suddenly feel the urge to run my fingers through the light chest hair that clings to his skin. Everything about him screams raw masculinity and it makes my mouth dry.
He doesn’t reply; he just stares at me, and in a moment of boldness, I get up while I know his eyes are still on me and give him a full show as strut towards my chair with my ass swaying back and forth with the yellow fabric snuggled between my cheeks. I hear a brief intake of air and when I sit down, I notice him staring at me out of my periphery. I grab the sunscreen and squeeze some into my hands before rubbing it slowly down my legs and over my arms. “Do you think you can get my back for me?” I toss him the sunscreen and he gets up and walks towards me.
“Stand up.” His voice is gruff and low as he approaches me and stands behind me. I’m expecting his hands along my back but instead, I feel his fingers tracing down my side.
“When did you get this?” he asks and I realize he must be looking at the tattoo just above my rib cage.
“A few months ago…” I wince. I’d been so good about keeping it covered and wearing dresses and tops that covered it up, but this bathing suit exposes a lot of skin and leaves practically nothing to the imagination.
“You are enough,” he whispers and rubs his fingers over the words. “You’re more than enough. You’re everything, beautiful. Who’s made you feel like you weren’t?” Beautiful. I melt under his words as he begins to rub the sunscreen into my skin.
I swallow and shake my head grateful that he can’t see my face. “I…no one.”
“Bullshit. Tell me.” His voice is gruff and I briefly consider giving in. I consider telling him that I got it in response to the abandonment issues that have plagued me my whole life. Now that Micah has resurfaced, I hate that I have something so permanent on my skin reminding me that I’ve spent too much time longing for his presence. Especially now that I’m not even sure how I feel about his recent reappearance.
“I…not now.”
He spins me around to look at him. “Do you not trust me?”
“Of course, I do…I just…” I trail off, not wanting to have this conversation now. “Want to get in the poo
l!” I giggle as I pull out of his grasp and dive into the deep end of our pool. When I resurface, he’s staring down at me with a smile on his face before he pulls his sunglasses off and follows suit.
He pops up next to me and I watch in fascination as the water clings to him. His hair. His eyelashes. His chest. The water trickles down him in rivulets and I watch in fascination as it does. My feet don’t touch the bottom so I move towards a shallower area when I feel his hand around my wrist and he hauls me towards him, safely above the water. On instinct, I clamber around him and climb onto his back, wrapping my legs around his waist. I feel my sex opening up and my clit clenches in response to the fact that it’s pressed up against his back. I squeeze my legs around him tighter and wrap my arms around his neck. “Thanks for the ride.” I giggle as he moves slowly around the pool.
“I’ll admit it bothered me that you invited him,” he starts as he wades slowly in the six feet waters. “I thought maybe…you were trying to fill a void that I couldn’t fill.” I gasp and go to speak up when he continues. “I know it’s selfish because you deserve the opportunity if you want it. I just…I’m being stupid. I was jealous.” I move from his back so that I can face him and wrap my legs around his front. I pull back slightly and grab his face to make our eyes lock.
“Listen to me,” I start. His arms lock around my back and in this moment, I’m not thinking about how sexual our position is. I’m only concerned with making him understand. “No one, not even the person responsible for half of my DNA, can take your place. You’re…” I turn my head to the side to avoid his deep penetrating gaze. He turns my chin slowly towards him so that I meet his eyes. He squints slightly due to the sun but I can still read the look in his crystal blue eyes almost perfectly. “You’re…you.”