Keeping Secrets

by Lisa Eugene

  This early in the morning, the halls were quiet. I made my way to the conference room, surprised to find no students in the halls cramming last-minute facts about the cases. Pulling open the heavy mahogany doors, my heart stopped as I scanned the room. Everyone was already seated, their attention honed on Dr. Leon, our most formidable dean. He stood at the podium. His authoritative voice washed over the audience as he ended what appeared to be a case summary. Summary? He was at the end!

  I inhaled deeply, certain I’d pass out.

  Oh, God…

  I’d missed grand rounds. Like a fool, I stood frozen at the door, my eyes wide with dread. It was only when the sea of heads turned in my direction that I realized Dr. Leon’s voice had been thrown at me.

  “Glad to see that you could finally join us, Dr. Kennedy. We would have waited for you, but I thought it best to start with those students interested in earning a medical degree.” The sarcasm was cutting, slicing through me like a hot knife. I wasn’t officially a doctor yet, so the impact of that word struck a blow.

  Students shifted their gazes awkwardly, sympathetic to my humiliation—except for the one that met mine directly. I couldn’t help but notice Rhonda’s smug smile. I ignored my classmate and the obvious enjoyment she gained from my predicament.

  A hand waved in my peripheral vision. I saw Tina motioning to an empty seat beside her. Hunching over as if I could conceal my profound mortification, I slithered across a nearby row. My brain worked double time, my heart stroking laps in my chest. How could this have happened? It was still minutes to seven.

  Seated, I turned to Tina’s panicked expression.

  “Where have you been?” she whispered quickly. “I’ve been trying to call you all morning! The conference got moved up.”

  “I didn’t get any calls.” I whispered back, wanting to weep.

  Tina shook her head, leaning closer. “There’s something wrong with your phone!”

  “What?” I frowned, confused. I dug quickly through my bag, looking for the object in question.

  “Shhh!” The loud reprimand came from Rhonda. She was a few seats in front of us. Unfortunately, her hiss had been loud enough to catch Dr. Leon’s attention.

  My stomach shriveled as the attending stopped mid-sentence and turned slowly in my direction. He held his body stiff and anger squeezed his eyes to slits. Blood drained from my face when heads swiveled to find the source of his focused attention.

  This could not be happening…

  “And what would lead us to this diagnosis, Dr. Kennedy?” Dr. Leon asked me directly.

  Huh? I’d just walked in. I had no clue what he’d been talking about. He was baiting me, knowing I’d never be able to answer his question. I couldn’t dare ask him to clarify or recap what he’d just discussed.

  “I-I…ah.” I swallowed hard, stuttering as I heard Tina’s low, terrified whimper. I couldn’t tell if she was scared for me or worried that she’d be called on next.

  “I can’t hear you, Dr. Kennedy!” Dr. Leon was shouting now, his baritone like thunder clapping across the room. “Please stand.”

  I rose on shaky knees, again trying to ignore Rhonda’s amused expression. Looks of pity came from every direction. Rhonda was turned to me, her blond head cocked in mockery, as if patiently awaiting my answer. She knew I was screwed.

  My gaze flew to the slides on the screen behind Dr. Leon, looking for some clue, anything to help me. I’d painstakingly gone through all these cases. I’d busted my ass many nights after my shifts, studying and caring for these patients. There had to be something. Then I saw it—magnified images of a CT scan I’d spent hours reviewing with the radiologist. This patient had had a small plate inserted in his skull after a traumatic injury.

  I cleared my throat and pushed up my glasses. “There’d been many diagnoses to consider. We were thrown off by the child’s recent surgery, but in light of negative MRI and CT scans, normal results of the cerebrospinal fluid, the progressive ascending weakness, and the areflexia, it was concluded that this nine-year-old boy had Guillain-Barré syndrome.”

  The tension in the room was so thick it could’ve been scooped into a bowl. I held my breath, waiting as absolute silence descended on the already tense crowd. It was only when Dr. Leon’s lips pulled with a slow smile that the audience released its collective breath.

  One eyebrow darted up on the attending’s usually stoic face. “Very well done, Dr. Kennedy.”

  This time, the word “doctor” had been intoned with reverence. A few heads in the audience nodded in admiration. Rhonda turned to face forward, giving me her stiff neck.

  I slowly sank back into my seat, adrenaline still pumping furiously through my veins. It took a moment before euphoria kicked in. I grinned widely when Tina elbowed me, wearing her own smile.

  “I don’t know how you pulled that shit off, but you’ve done it again,” she grinned back. “That’s why you’ll be class valedictorian. Mayo Clinic, here you come. You’re freaking amazing. I’m so jealous!”

  Chapter Three

  Dex

  “Good morning, Mr. Blakewell.”

  I managed a terse nod to one of my employees as I walked through the glass doors of Blakewell Enterprises.

  “Good morning, Mr. Blakewell.”

  I inclined my head to someone whose name I should’ve known, but didn’t.

  “Good morning, Mr. Blakewell. Is there anything I can get you, Mr. Blakewell?”

  Not breaking my stride, I shook my head.

  “Good morning, Mr. Blakewell.”

  Awww…shit…How much longer before I would get to the blissful solitude of my office?

  “Good morning, Mr. Blakewell.”

  I grunted to my secretary, Linda, and took the pile of mail she offered me.

  “Good morning, Mr. Sunshine!” As usual, Henry materialized out of thin air. It was as if his slight, impeccably attired body had suddenly beamed here from a showroom at Barney’s. His bright smile and intentionally sugared voice was already grating—as I was sure he’d fully intended.

  I quickened my steps, forcing the shorter man to keep pace beside me.

  “What? I don’t even get a grunt this morning?”

  Pushing open the door to my office, Henry followed me in. “You’ll be lucky if you don’t get fired.”

  “Not that again.” He sighed dramatically, settling his ass on the edge of my desk. Picking The New Yorker from the mail, he casually flipped through it. “I take it you didn’t get laid last night. Was Carlie not able to raise the flag?”

  He laughed at his own dry humor, causing me to grit my teeth. I was not amused. Carlie! That was it!

  “It was awful. I’m never letting you set me up again.” I jabbed a finger in his direction.

  “What was wrong with her?”

  “Everything.”

  Offense wrinkled his manicured brow. “I thought she’d be good for you. She’s got character.” Bending back the spine of the magazine, he stabbed a finger at a blonde on the page.

  “Is this what you want, some watered-down, prissy, stick-up-her-ass debutante? You’d be bored out of your skull!”

  I scanned the article’s headline. It featured New York City’s most eligible bachelorettes. It touted the woman on the page as intelligent, sexy, from a prestigious family, and available. The crème de la crème. I recoiled with a shudder. I’d dated my share of debutantes and found they were more interested in my millions than truly getting to know me.

  “There’s probably something wrong with her, too.”

  Henry rolled his eyes. “Carlie’s a nice girl. I thought maybe she’d mellow you out a little bit. You’ve been so on edge lately.” His tone softened a fraction. “I know you hate this time of year. The holidays will be here soon.”

  His words caused a perceptible pause as I shuffled through the mail. I hoped he hadn’t noticed, but there was very little that got past my PA. Fighting painful emotions, I tossed the bundle to the side and glared at him. Anger was a
lways an easier companion.

  “Mellow me out? She’s bat-shit crazy! Her idea of a night out is dinner and a wedding.”

  “I’m sure you’re exaggerating.” Magazine abandoned, he stood and rounded my desk, frowning as he scrutinized my suit. Deftly, he untied and started retying my tie.

  “I’m serious!” I batted at his fingers.

  “Did you get dressed in the dark this morning?” he scoffed, focusing on his task.

  I sighed heavily and gave up trying to stop him. It was futile to fight with Henry. He did whatever the hell he wanted.

  “What was it this time? What sent you running?” He tsked loudly, in that know-it-all way I hated. “You know, you always find a reason to leave. You always find something wrong with them.”

  “That’s because there is always something wrong with them. Women are crazy! Remember the one you set me up with who had OCD and couldn’t have sex without adding out loud?”

  “Nothing wrong with good math skills.”

  “That was just it. She was awful at math. I had to keep stopping to correct her arithmetic, kinda killed the mood.”

  A dramatic sigh. “You have to give someone a chance. Relationships take time and hard work.”

  “Been there, done that, remember?”

  “Yes, but you can’t go running when things don’t go the way you want them to.”

  Tuning him out, I dug the heels of my hands into my eyes. I wasn’t willing to listen to his tedious psycho-babble on why I wasn’t in a relationship. To be honest, I hated his words and their quiet ring of truth. I’d suffered through it all: the relationship, the commitment, the marriage. And it had been devastating, a hornet’s nest of lies.

  “I already work hard. I have a job and don’t need another one.”

  My time was devoted to my clients. That relationship was mutually satisfying. They trusted their millions to me, and I had a knack for multiplying them.

  “Maybe I’m not meant to be in a relationship.” I said, my words tinged with defeat.

  He paused, seeming to consider that. “Bullshit. Another excuse. Your past is just that—your past.”

  “I don’t see it in my future, Henry. I’m being realistic.”

  He sighed, fingers still working. “So you keep having one-night-stands? You’ve seen more bush than a landscaper, Dex. When will you cultivate your own lawn?”

  “Let me rephrase what I said. I have no interest in a relationship, or cultivating any lawns. Although, I don’t mind mowing one every now and then.”

  His look said he wasn’t amused, and I shook my head in exasperation. “It’s not going to work out with crazy Carrie. How do you know her, anyway?”

  Finished with my tie, he stepped back. Apparently satisfied with his handiwork, he resumed his spot on the edge of my desk.

  “We go to the same psychic.”

  I stared, nonplussed. “Figures.”

  “I think you’re just in a bad mood because somebody bwoke your wittle toy.” He sang the last words like he was speaking to a two-year-old. I gave him the finger.

  Ignoring his grin, I sank into the leather chair, flipping on the two computers on my desk. The S&P futures were down, and the recent unrest in the Middle East announced over the weekend was driving up oil prices. I had decisions to make, but his statement stirred my anger. That woman and my broken toy came to mind. I’d been played for a fool, and I never played a game I didn’t win.

  “Any word yet?”

  “I’m working on it,” Henry replied.

  I’d given him a description of Alexa Kennedy—if that was her real name—and whatever information I had on my hit-and-run. That’s what I called it now because that nut had hit my car and then run off. Thankfully, I’d been able to recall most of the numbers on the license plate of the car she’d been driving. With any luck, and Henry’s questionable connections, I’d be able to track down the lying witch.

  “My cop friend said he’d get back to me soon.”

  I grunted, attention mostly focused on the international news. “I hope you didn’t meet him at your psychic.”

  “No. Him, I met in jail.”

  I looked up, not knowing if I should take him seriously. With Henry, you never knew what to believe. Glimpses into his colorful past often left me wishing I’d kept my eyes shut.

  His face split with a wide grin. “I’m just kidding! Damn, you’re wound up tighter than a virgin’s ass today. I used to date him before he realized he was straight, too bad, really.” He winked at me. “That was a flag I didn’t mind raising.”

  I smiled and shook my head. Henry was now living happily with his partner, Tom, but he’d be the first one to admit to being a total man-ho when he’d been younger. I could attest to that. He and I had roomed together at Michigan State, where we’d met. After college, I’d moved back to New York. Henry followed five years ago to work with me, to help me get through the roughest time of my life.

  With a degree in finance and business management, and his agreeable nature, he was an asset, but he’d also dubbed himself my PA. In all honesty, I appreciated most of his help in my personal life. I spent a lot of time traveling. At thirty-two, he was only two years older than me, but his vast sexual experience put even mine to shame.

  Before I could reply, my intercom buzzed and Linda announced the arrival of my potential client.

  “I’ll be right there,” I told her, looking steadily at Henry.

  “I don’t care how many flags you have to raise, or nuts you need to crack, I want you to find that damn woman. I don’t like being made a fool of.”

  “Of course, Mr. Sunshine.”

  I did my best to ignore the blatant mockery in his voice.

  Alexa

  Working the ward was difficult. Many times I walked into Jake’s room, expecting him to be there. Thank God the bathroom provided a convenient escape when I needed to take a deep breath. In between lectures and seeing patients, I spent the afternoon fighting with the telephone company, telling them that in fact I had not called to request a number change because of prank calls.

  Apparently there’d been a mix-up, and after being transferred through several third-world countries, someone in Dumbfuck, Middle-of-Nowhere, had been able to help me resolve the problem. Luckily, I had my account numbers and phone information on a file I kept on my laptop, so they’d been able to retrieve my information. I had to get a new number, but at least my cell now had service, and the hospital would be able to reach me if need be.

  Heading out of the hospital, I bumped into Tina, Monika, and John.

  “Where’re you headed?” Monika asked as they fell into step beside me.

  “Home.”

  “Wanna grab a bite with us? We’re going over to Maddy’s to meet up with Carla,” John said.

  I declined, straightening the bag over my scrubs. “I had a huge lunch,” I lied. I hadn’t eaten since my food binge last night and a low level of nausea and residual guilt plagued me like heartburn. After that transgression, I needed to put my mouth on lockdown. “I’m just gonna go for a run and then crash.”

  “I don’t know how you have the energy,” Tina chimed in. “The only exercises I’ll be doing are bottle lifts.”

  “What?”

  “Lift. Drink. Repeat,” she laughed. “Beer, my friend. Great arm workout.”

  “Maybe next time.” I wasn’t in the mood to go out. Plus, I didn’t relish the thought of hanging out with Carla, another student. Her words were often as abrasive as steel wool and never quite as useful.

  “Strong work this morning, Alexa.” Monika high-fived me.

  “Thanks.” I couldn’t help riding the high of rocking grand rounds. Dr. Leon had challenged my knowledge with a series of follow-up questions, which I’d aced. His opinion of me was important. He was just one of the school board members who’d decide on class valedictorian, but everyone knew it was he who called the shots.

  “I thought Rhonda was going to shit her pants.” Tina laughed. “I could
see flames shooting from her ass each time you answered a question correctly.”

  “Yeah, she was about to take off like a rocket!” Monika joked.

  “What’s the deal with you two?” John asked as we exited the building. “I saw you two exchanging words at sign-out.”

  Breathing deeply, I pulled fresh air into my lungs, letting it replace the taint of the hospital. It was the evening rush hour and the streets were busy with staff leaving the hospital.

  John was right. I should’ve left a half hour ago, but I’d had to sign out to Rhonda. She’d been a total bitch, grilling me with irrelevant questions like I was a first-year. Not in the mood to deal with her crap, I’d had no problem telling her to back off.

  “I don’t know.” I shrugged. “She’s just a miserable person and gets off on making others miserable, too.”

  “Be careful. Her parents are bigwigs here,” Monika warned.

  “That doesn’t give her the right to treat people like shit.”

  “Agreed, but she’s got major connections and she has it out for you,” Tina added. “She hates you. I think she’s just jealous.”

  I snorted. “Yeah, right. What could she possibly be jealous of?”

  “No, seriously!” she persisted. “You’re beautiful, you’re smart, and you’ll most likely be named class valedictorian. Rhonda is extremely competitive. Has been since first year.”

  I smiled patiently at Tina, admiring her amiable nature. We’d been friends since second year and she was always charitable with her kindness.

  “You and Rhonda have the same GPA, right?” Monika asked.

  “Yeah, along with several other people,” I reminded them. “Valedictorian can go to anyone.”

  “But you’re clinically smarter than she is, and you know more medicine,” Tina said.

  “Agreed,” John chimed in. “I think you deserve it.”