365 Days Alone

by Nancy Isaak

  * * * *

  None of us had expected Orla to actually approve Sophia’s petition—and she didn’t.

  The Tribunal did agree, however, that Sophia could continue her Sunday sermons in the auditorium. They simply added that no one could be forced to attend.

  Sophia and Reena were both highly annoyed and walked out on the rest of the Tribunal.

  They didn’t miss much.

  There was an argument between two girls over a pot-bellied stove that was in the living room of the house that they shared. The Tribunal solved that disagreement by appropriating the stove—saying that the Community would be better served by placing it in the high school’s kitchen.

  Sue and Rachel, meanwhile, wanted permission to travel to the Lost Hills Sheriff’s Station, ostensibly to get more weapons and ammunition. Their petition was approved.

  (I remember wondering if Jay’s and my note was still there. Then I wondered what Sue and Rachel would do if they found it.)

  The last petitioner of the afternoon was Wandy.

  She requested a number of girls to help with the Farming Project. Also, she had a list of supplies that she needed.

  All approved.

  * * * *

  It was raining by the time Jude, Jay, Lily, and I started toward home. Although it was dark—and past curfew—the Tribunal had given everyone fifteen minutes to make it back to our houses. After that, the Protection Detail would be let loose in the streets and anyone discovered wandering around would be subject to ‘arrest and discipline’.

  Lily trotted ahead of us, jumping from puddle to puddle. There were other girls nearby—all heading toward their own residences.

  I motioned Jay and Jude closer, so we could talk quietly without Lily hearing. “Wandy said that Alice brought her a couple of farming books today and, when she opened one of them, it had blood on some of its pages.”

  Jay nodded, her face grim. “There was blood on the “Physician’s Reference” she brought by yesterday. It was faint, but it was definitely there.”

  “You think it might be from the Westlake girls?” asked Jude. “The ones from the library?”

  “I hope not,” I said. “But who else could it have been? And where could they have gotten the books, if not from Westlake Village?”

  Jude thought about this for a moment. She didn’t look happy. “You sure you and Wandy need the extra month?” she asked Jay.

  “I don’t know a lot of medicine, not like a real doctor,” said Jay. “But I’m all these girls have right now. And I keep learning more and more every day. I just need enough time to find someone I can train to take over, then I can leave.”

  “I don’t think Wandy’s ready to leave, either,” I added. “She seems so excited, working on the Farm Project right now.”

  Jude sighed. “Just seems dumb to wait around.” She lowered her voice even more. “And I want Lily somewhere safe, you know.”

  “You’re such a Mama Bear,” I teased.

  “Shaddup, Barbie,” she growled, whacking me on the head.

  * * * *

  That night, after Lily was safely asleep in her bed, Jay, Jude, and I retired to the backyard, to sit on lawn chairs and look at the stars.

  “Sophia’s become such a fanatic lately,” I said, stifling a yawn.

  “Which makes her dangerous,” said Jay. “If my parents were here, they’d tell you. In our old country, fanatics are the worst.”

  “She wasn’t always that way,” said Jude. “Cherry says that she and Sophia even kissed a couple of times.”

  “What?!” Jay and I both spoke at the same time.

  Jude chuckled. “Cherry said that they were just trying it out, you know. Nothing came from it. Sophia decided that she was straight and that was that.”

  “But like…Sophia kissed Cherry?!” I couldn’t fathom it.

  “There might have been some over-the-top action as well.” Jude wiggled her eyebrows and Jay and I burst into immature giggles.

  Suddenly…thump!

  We immediately went silent, on alert—listening.

  With a snuffle-snort, Pugly came trotting out from Lily’s bedroom. He wandered around the backyard for a moment, before choosing the edge of a bougainvillea to ‘whizz’ on.

  Then, he trundled back inside the house.

  A moment later, we heard baby-thumps coming from the bedroom.

  Thumpity-thump…thumpity-thump…thumpity-thump.

  “He can’t make it back up on the bed,” Jay giggled.

  “I’ll help him back up,” said Jude, rising. “I’m heading out anyway.”

  “What do you mean—heading out?” I asked, immediately concerned. “It’s curfew!”

  “Yeah, whatever,” said Jude. “I’ll be back when I’m back.” And she walked into the house, disappearing into the darkness.

  The baby-thumps stopped.

  Half a minute after that—we heard the front door opening and closing.

  “Where do you think she’s going?” I asked.

  “I don’t know,” said Jay. “But, she’s definitely up to something.”

  “Do you think she’s got a girlfriend?”

  Jay looked surprised. “Jude’s gay?”

  “Not that I know of,” I admitted. “But it’s not like there are any guys around. Maybe she’s experimenting.”

  Jay thought about this for a moment, then she sighed. “I can’t believe that I’ll never be kissed.”

  “I’m a year older,” I said. “How do you think I feel?”

  “You realize that we’re not just going to die ‘virgins’,” she said, sadly. “We’re going to die ‘kissing-virgins’ as well.”

  “Except…um…Cherry was talking the other day and…um…well, she said that it’s natural for girls to be turning to other girls now for affection and stuff. She says that it doesn’t even mean that you’re gay. It’s just because that’s all there is.”

  Jay looked at me, curious. “Do you think you could do it?”

  “What?”

  “Kiss a girl.”

  “I don’t know.” I thought about it. “Maybe…I mean, yeah probably. What about you?”

  “Maybe.”

  There was a long silence between us, then—and it was very uncomfortable.

  We kept peeking at each other—trying to look, but not look.

  Finally, I couldn’t take it any longer. “What?!”

  Jay looked down at the ground. “It’s just—you’re my best friend.”

  “You’re my best friend.”

  “Well, uh—do you think we should—I mean—kiss?”

  “Pardon?”

  “I don’t mean, like full-on tongue or anything,” Jay said, quickly. “I mean, should we just try a quick one, to see if we could do it?”

  I thought about that for a moment. “Okay…um…sure, why not?”

  “Who knows,” Jay giggled—more out of embarrassment than anything else. “We might even discover that we’re gay or something. Sure would make things a whole lot easier, considering there isn’t any boys.”

  “Maybe.”

  Slowly, we turned until we were facing each other. We were both trying hard to be serious, but it wasn’t easy.

  “Should I maybe lean my head this way?” Jay tilted her head to the right.

  “Um…okay,” I replied. “I guess I can go the other way.”

  Leaning in opposite directions, we moved our heads closer—and closer.

  “But no tongue!” Jay suddenly squeaked.

  “No tongue,” I agreed.

  We stopped with our lips about two inches apart.

  “You ready?” asked Jay.

  “Ready.”

  Neither of us moved.

  Then—at the same instant—Jay and I burst into laughter and pushed each other away.

  Needless to say, we never did have our kiss.

  But what we did have—was the realization that we were both undeniably straight…and would probably die as virgins.

  JOURNA
L ENTRY #26

  We’re down to sixty-two girls now. Three 12th graders disappeared last week.

  One moment they were there—the next they weren’t.

  All of the older girls are terrified now, because it looks like no one is going to make it past their eighteenth birthday.

  Personally—I’m wondering if maybe the girls didn’t really disappear exactly.

  Maybe they just returned…like to the old world.

  And—if that’s what really happened—then wouldn’t that make them the lucky ones?

  The really weird thing, though—we keep waiting for 7-year old girls to appear out of thin air. It just makes sense, right? If the older girls are disappearing when they hit their 18th birthday—shouldn’t the younger girls be showing up when they reach their 7th?

  But—so far—they haven’t.

  * * * *

  It’s actually been a fun couple of weeks—except for the disappearances.

  We’ve all been working on Wandy’s Farm Project. Even Jay and I got to work in the field with everyone else (since no one had a medical emergency.)

  At first, Wandy was going to plow up the football field in the middle of Chumash Park. It’s so big that she figured it would make for a good farm.

  Problem was, it’s also pretty far from the water tower that the Construction Detail just finished on top of the hill behind the school. That would mean that we’d have to lay a lot of irrigation pipe (we’re using PVC pipe from the hardware store across the 101 Freeway). Plus, gravity would be working against us on some of the hillier portions.

  So, now Wandy has decided that the farm—instead—is going to be in the field just behind the school. That means it will be smaller (less plowing!) than Chumash, but it’ll still be a good-size farm. Also, being so close to the school, it will be easier for the Protection Detail to guard it—and I don’t just mean against animal-varmints!

  Unfortunately, we weren’t allowed to use the horses to plow the field.

  Orla said that they were too valuable to the Community’s security to put them in front of farm machinery. Instead, we had to pull the plows ourselves.

  One of the ‘lucky’ things about living next to Old Agoura—we have access to a lot of farming equipment. It was surprisingly easy to find a plow along Driver Avenue. An old one was actually being used as a yard decoration.

  So far, Wandy has planted an assortment of vegetables—potatoes, carrots, lettuce, radishes—that sort of thing. She’s also planted fruit trees all the way around the edges of the plowed area. (Seeds and fruit trees also courtesy of the hardware store.) Wandy says that the fruit will be good for Vitamin C, plus the trees will act as a wind-break, to protect the other crops.

  * * * *

  It’s been kind of amazing to watch Wandy. She’s always been such a quiet girl. Now that she’s in charge, though, she’s so authoritative that—sometimes—she’s really kind of bossy.

  Even Cherry gets a little irritated with her on occasion.

  It’s like Wandy has to have everything her way now and if it doesn’t get done exactly the way she wants and to the exact deadline she’s set—then she gets kind of frantic and cranky.

  * * * *

  The day that we finished planting all the seeds and fruit trees, Orla came down to give a speech. She said that we should all be really proud of ourselves. She said that our moms and dads would be amazed at what we’ve accomplished so far.

  I don’t like agreeing with Orla on anything anymore. But she’s right in this instance, because we’re (and Wandy is the one who really deserves the credit here) actually growing our own food!

  We girls are proud farmers now!

  * * * *

  Another good thing is that one of the 10th graders—Belinda McIlroy—has become interested in helping out at the Clinic. Jay says that Belinda’s not the quickest, but that she’s definitely learning.

  Ultimately, that means that Jay has a replacement for herself.

  And—Wandy has her farm up and running.

  So, now we get to leave. We’re finally going to Malibu!

  * * * *

  Even though we’re probably being way too paranoid about it, we’ve decided not to tell anyone that we’re leaving.

  We’ll just head out during the night—May 31st.

  The reason that we chose that day is because it’s Wandy’s 18th birthday. Well, actually—Wandy chose it. Truth is, I think she’s terrified of the day. She doesn’t say anything to us—but we all know that she’s worried that she’s going to disappear on the thirty-first.

  Cherry, Jay, Jude, and I had a long conversation about it. We’ve decided that we’re going to BELIEVE that Wandy will be all right.

  She is absolutely coming with us to Malibu!

  But—just in case—we’re going to give her the best birthday party ever!

  There are actually two reasons for that.

  The first is that we want Wandy to have a good birthday. The second reason is that we think a party will be a good cover.

  If any of the Foxes suspect that we might want to leave, they’ll probably never believe that we’d actually do it on the night of Wandy’s birthday party.

  Which, of course, means—no Foxes at the party!!

  JOURNAL ENTRY #27

  Yesterday, Jay and I were in the Medical Center and something really sad happened.

  It was after Belinda had left for the day. Jay had sent her home early because she and I had a ‘secret mission’. With Wandy’s birthday and the Malibu trip coming up in two days, we had decided that this might be one of our last chances to appropriate some medical supplies for our upcoming journey.

  No doubt, we could always find lots of meds and stuff down in Malibu. But Jay still wanted to be sure that we were protected on the trip there. (I think all this talk of mountain lions has got Jay really nervous that we might just run into one of the big cats.)

  So, anyway—Jay and I were shoving bandages and antiseptic and pain relievers into a backpack, when the door suddenly opened.

  Both of us nearly had a heart attack!

  But—it was only Jude and Cherry.

  They were there on their own mission…to talk to Jay and me.

  * * * *

  We all sat down for a little heart-to-heart at one of the picnic benches in Chumash Park. It was getting close to curfew, so we needed to hurry.

  “My eighteenth birthday is on October 31st,” began Jude.

  “Nice,” I grinned. “You’re a Halloween baby.”

  But she wasn’t smiling.

  “And my birthday is December 14th,” said Cherry. “So—Jude and I will both turn eighteen this year.”

  It took Jay and me a moment to catch on. “Oh,” I said, quietly. “That doesn’t have to mean that you guys will disappear, you know.”

  “Except we might,” said Jude.

  “So…we need to know that Shawnee and Lily will be taken care of if we disappear,” Cherry said. “That—no matter what happens to me and Jude—that you guys will never leave them behind.”

  My eyes immediately filled with tears. “Of course not…we would never!”

  “They’re our sisters, too,” added Jay—sounding a little offended.

  “We’re serious,” continued Cherry. “You’re the only ones we trust.”

  I crossed my heart. “Promise…Lily and Shawnee will always be safe with us.”

  “Where we go, they’ll go,” Jay added. Then—she crossed her heart, too.

  We were all quiet; everyone looked incredibly sad.

  So—of course—Jude chose that moment to let out a massive burp. “Enough with the drama,” she grinned, punching Jay and me in the shoulder. “Since we’re not going to disappear anyway.”

  “Fracking, eh!” agreed Cherry.

  And she and Jude high-fived.

  WANDY TURNS EIGHTEEN

  The day of Wandy’s birthday, Jay, Jude, Lily, and I made our way over to the Continuation girls’ house a few hours before dusk—and the
curfew.

  Pugly was already there; Jude had transferred him over the night before, following the culvert along Chumash Park and then moving along the top of the ridge until she reached their house, which—being so close to the 101 Freeway—was to be our ‘departure-point’.

  The first step in our secret escape plan.

  At around three in the morning, we were going to leave through the rear door of the house, descend the hill leading down from the backyard and head across the 101 Freeway. Then, instead of turning and traveling down Agoura Road toward one of the canyon routes to Malibu, we planned to climb directly up and over the next hill.

  By hiking ‘as the crow flies’, we would eventually meet up with Cornell Road. From there, we could head in a number of different directions—all of which would take us toward Malibu and, eventually…my dad’s house on Point Dume.

  * * * *

  We still didn’t know if we’d be taking Sophia with us on the journey. Jude, Jay, and I had left that decision up to Cherry and Wandy, since they knew her best.

  Unfortunately, neither one of them trusted Sophia—certainly not like they used to in the past. Because of that, they eventually decided that it would be Sophia’s own behavior during Wandy’s party which would be the deciding factor.

  If Sophia was to come with us…Cherry and Wandy would tell her a few minutes before we left.

  If Sophia was to be left in Agoura Hills…well, Jay had appropriated a few sedatives from the clinic. They would be dropped into whatever Sophia was drinking, sometime during the party. The girl would then simply fall asleep, waking up in the morning to discover that we were gone and that she was sporting a mild headache.