Naughty No More

by Brenda Hampton

  “Then, we’ll have to deal with it. I won’t say a word to anyone. Even though it’s going to kill me to keep this secret, I know what I have to do.”

  “Thank you,” he said, removing my hand from his face. He scooted down in bed and I got underneath the covers with him. Needing each other’s comfort, we lay quietly while Shane held me tightly in his arms.

  Sleep was good, even though it was only for a few hours.

  “Do you have everything?” Shane asked, looking around the room.

  “There wasn’t much to get. Let’s get out of here and go see about getting a tire.”

  As soon as we stepped out of the hotel, we heard a siren and panicked. Shane looked at me and I looked at him. We both watched as a police car drove down the highway, passing our exit. Surely, we were relieved.

  We drove to a nearby super center and Shane bought a new tire. It took less than an hour for the mechanic to put it on and we were back on the road.

  “Are you hungry?” Shane asked.

  “I’m starving, but I can wait until you stop at a gas station. A pack of sweet powdered donuts will suit me just fine.”

  He nodded and kept on driving. He hadn’t said much to me, so I looked through his CDs for something soothing to play.

  “Is this all you have?” I asked.

  “Yes. All I listen to is jazz. If you want to hear Wallace Roney blow his horn this morning, then feel free to slide in just about any CD.”

  “Well, I’m not in the mood for Wallace, but, uh, can we talk?”

  “Talk about what?”

  “About what happened?”

  “You mean,” he cleared his throat.

  “Yes. About that.”

  “Nokea, I’d like to put that as far away from my memory as possible. Talking about it is only going to make matters worse.”

  “No it won’t. Since this is going to be our secret, I want to know how you felt about it.”

  His voice rose. “I feel horrible, so there! I feel as if I’ve betrayed my best friend, again. If I could take it back, I would.”

  “I understand. I feel bad about what happened too, but tell me how you really feel.”

  Shane looked over at me in disbelief. “Are you trying to fuck with my head? I just told you how I felt. What more do you want?”

  “I want the truth. Even though it was a horrible and scary situation, the way you performed said that you didn’t mind being where you were. And, your eyes—”

  “The only thing you saw in my eyes was madness. Now, why are we going here? Must we sit here and even discuss this?”

  “No, but . . . don’t you want to know how I felt?”

  “With tears in your eyes, I knew how you felt. The look on your face said it all.”

  “Yes, I was scared, but maybe, the tears in my eyes were because I felt ashamed for wanting to, you know.”

  “Don’t even go there Nokea! We’ve been down this road before when we kissed. I cannot do this again.” Shane spoke sternly and his face was without a smile. “It’s over, all right? What happened at that motel stays back there. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Damn you for forcing me into this conversation!”

  I continued, wanting to get some things off my chest. “I’ll put closure to this conversation, but not before sharing with you my feelings. I . . . I love Jaylin and I will always love him. No matter what, I’ll never leave him, and he will never leave me. I had a feeling that one day, somehow, you and I would share what we did. The circumstances weren’t great, but the feeling is one I’ll never forget. I’m sure you share the same feelings as I do. Feeling that way doesn’t mean you don’t love Scorpio. It means that we put together a piece of the missing puzzles in our lives, and both of our curiosities about each other have been satisfied.”

  Shane pulled the car over to the side of the road, turned to me and gave me a disturbing look. “Thanks for sharing, Nokea, but I don’t quite see it that way. I think you are an amazingly beautiful and smart woman, but I’m deeply in love with a woman who is all that and then some. What happened back there is—”

  I quickly cut him off. “In other words, are you saying you never had any feelings for me? That you never, ever thought about what having sex with me would be like and that the look in your eyes at that motel had no meaning?”

  “No, Nokea. I’ve never had any feelings for you, I never thought about having sex and the look in my eyes . . .”

  I grabbed the back of Shane’s head to shush him. I moved my face to his, making eye contact. “You’re a liar, but I can see right through you. You never have to speak the truth to me, but that’s because, like most men, you’re not man enough to tell a woman how you really feel.”

  I placed my lips on Shane’s, forcing my tongue into his mouth. As expected, he worked with me. We smacked lips for quite a while, until Shane reached for the back of my short hair and pulled it back.

  “Damn you, Nokea,” he whispered. “After this kiss, this is over! We cannot act on our feelings again. Do you understand?”

  I nodded and Shane’s light tongue turned in my mouth again. His lips were soft like butter. I couldn’t help it that my hand roamed inside of his shirt to squeeze his muscles. Finally, we backed away from each other and Shane cleared his throat. I wiped around my wet lips and he quickly sped off.

  Chapter 5

  Jaylin

  I hadn’t been this mad at Nokea in a long time. Damn her for not calling me during her stay in St. Louis. I would have never gone to St. Louis without keeping in contact with her. For her to be upset with me about something so stupid proved to me how ignorant she could get.

  Surely, I hated to diss her like that, but it was almost 10:00 P.M. and she still hadn’t made it home. I got tired of calling and kissing her ass, so my phone calls came to a halt hours ago.

  The entire weekend, something just didn’t feel right to me. I guess Nokea was right about me feeling something funny inside, but I wasn’t sure if my semi-attraction for the woman at the airport had me feeling a bit guilty. Yes, the woman was bad, and if I were anything like the man I used to be, I would have jumped on it. Her eyes said that I could have her, but I wasn’t going to mess up my happy home. I’d been there, done that before. I don’t know what made me keep her phone number. For whatever reason, I felt the need to hold on to it.

  When I heard several car doors shut, I didn’t move from my bed. I listened for the front door alarm to sound and my eyes focused on the doorway to my bedroom. I heard both Nokea and Shane’s voices as they talked to Nanny B and the kids. Shortly after, Nokea appeared in the doorway with Jaylene on her hip. She looked at me and I looked at her. After seeing the angry expression on my face, she put Jaylene down and told her to go over to Nanny B. Jaylene did as she was told and Shane stepped around Nokea, coming into the room.

  “Listen,” he said, walking up to the bed and slamming his fist against mine. “I gotta head back out, but I wanted to stop in and say what’s up.”

  “You know this is one hell of a favor you did for me,” I said, standing to grip his hand. “I appreciate it. At least let me offer you some money for the inconvenience.”

  “That won’t be necessary Jay. Any time I can help out, you know I will.”

  “I wish you’d stay a while so we can chat, but if getting back home is that urgent, I understand.”

  “I had planned to stay, but the flat tire incident caused me a bunch of lost time. Some time tomorrow, I’ll call you so we can have this discussion we need to have.”

  I nodded and Shane slammed his hand against mine again. “How’s Mackenzie?” I couldn’t help but ask because she’d definitely been on my mind.

  “She and Scorpio are doing okay. They moved in with me for a few months, but, uh, due to some problems with her pregnancy, you know, she had to terminate it. Afterward, she and Mackenzie moved back home.”

  For a moment, I stood silently and then looked at Nokea. She cut her eyes at me and walked away. My eyes shifted back to Shane. �
�Of course, I’m sorry to hear about the baby, but everything happens for a reason.”

  Shane chuckled. “Yeah, they do. Other than that, we’re doing okay.”

  “It’s nice to hear that somebody is. I know Nokea told you what was up. Once I knock her upside her head, we’ll be back to normal too.”

  Shane laughed. “Don’t hurt her too bad, man. She’s an awesome woman and she loves you very much. Don’t forget that, all right?”

  “How could I?” I said.

  Shirtless and with my gray sweatpants on, I stepped over to the balcony to close the doors. The wind was kicking up a cool breeze that had the room kind of chilly. I then went to the door and yelled Nokea’s name. When she didn’t answer, I touched the intercom button and yelled her name louder.

  “I take it things are about to get ugly in here,” Shane said, walking toward me.

  “Very,” I replied. “You take it easy and don’t forget to give me a call tomorrow. Hopefully, by then, things may have cooled down.”

  Shane and I walked to the front door and I let him out. He got in his car and I held up the peace sign as he drove away. I went back to our spacious bedroom, and still, Nokea hadn’t made her way to me. As I was about to yell her name again, she came into the room and looked at me sitting on the edge of the bed. My hands were clinched together.

  “What’s your motherfucking problem?” I asked.

  “I don’t have a problem. If you don’t mind, I was spending some time with my children. It’s obvious that you want to argue and your tone is not going to encourage me to stand here and listen.”

  “If you leave this room again, I’m going to hurt you. We have some unfinished business to take care of right now. You’ve avoided me all weekend and you’re not going to avoid me for another damn second.”

  “I’m not going to give you the attention you feel you need. If reconciling our differences results in you putting your hands on me, then maybe you should leave. Take some time to cool off and step to me like you have some sense.”

  Nokea was digging herself a deeper hole. When she took it upon herself to turn and walk out the door, I lost it. I jumped up from the bed and went after her. In the hallway, I grabbed her arm, shoving her back into our bedroom. I was so angry. When she charged at me, I tripped her to the floor, slamming the double doors behind me. She sat up on her elbows, staring me down with anger all over her face. Soon, a tear rolled down her cheek and she started to breathe heavily. I stood over her.

  “Don’t wimp out on me now, Miss Tough-ass. A moment ago, you were talking all kinds of shit! I ain’t gon’ put my hands on you, but I want to make something perfectly clear to you. If anybody leaves this house, it will be you and not me. I pay the fucking bills here, Nokea! My money bought this house and every piece of furniture in it! Even the clothes on your back belong to me. If you ever, ever disrespect me again, I will have no problem making sure that you are left with nothing.” Putting in my final words, I squatted down in front of her, rubbing my goatee. “Hurt don’t always come by using force. My true words can cause you more pain than you’ve ever felt before. I meant everything I said to you. I hope you’d know by now when not to fuck with me.”

  Nokea didn’t say a word. I stood up, and for now, this conversation was over. I gave her one last evil look, before leaving the room and slamming the door behind me.

  For the next several days, thing were pretty quiet around the house. Nokea and I weren’t speaking to each other and I spent my nights in one of the guestrooms. Even Shane had called so we could talk about our differences, but with all that had gone on with me and Nokea, his call the other day had come at a bad time. I promised to call him in a few days. When I reached over to the phone in the guestroom to call him, I was surprised to hear Scorpio answer his phone.

  “Is Shane there?” I asked.

  “Jaylin, him and Mackenzie went to get us something to eat.”

  “How’s she doing?”

  “She couldn’t be better. Since the last time you saw her, she’s gotten so big. I don’t even know if you’d recognize her.”

  “Woman, please. Mackenzie is in my heart and memory forever. Legally, she’s still my child, you know?”

  “I haven’t forgotten. But we all know that things worked out for the best.”

  “If that’s how you see it, cool. But, uh . . . has Shane been treating y’all right?”

  “Of course. You wouldn’t expect anything different from a man of his caliber, would you?”

  “I guess not. He told me about the baby. I’m sorry to hear what happened.”

  “I was too. Now, I understand how you and Nokea felt about y’alls baby. It was a devastating loss for us. I often wonder why things like that have to happen.”

  “Me too. But, uh, tell Shane to hit me back whenever he gets home, all right?”

  “I will, but I have to ask you . . . is everything okay? I know you all too well and your voice—”

  I closed my eyes, thinking about my argument with Nokea. “I’m tired, Scorpio. Physically, I’m okay but my mind has been on overload.”

  “I definitely know how that can be. Get some rest and relax. Hopefully, I’ll see you soon.”

  My eyes popped open. “What?” I smiled.

  “I was only kidding. I had to think of a way to make you smile. It sounds like my mission was accomplished.”

  “It always is, isn’t it Scorpio? You shouldn’t tease a heartbroken man like that, but the thought of seeing—”

  I paused, looking at Nokea in the doorway with her arms folded. “I wasn’t sure if I heard her name clearly or not, but are you speaking to your ex-lover in our house?” she asked.

  I ignored Nokea. “Scorpio, don’t forget to tell Shane to call me, all right?”

  “Sure,” she said and hung up.

  I set the phone down and looked at Nokea. “Did you say something? For several days, you haven’t said shit to me so I thought you forgot how to talk.”

  “I said . . . kiss,” she paused, “my,” she paused again, “ass!”

  She walked away and I yelled. “Don’t worry! I’m horny and I was getting around to it!”

  For another thirty minutes, I stayed in the guestroom, until I heard a bunch of rambling going on. When I got up, I went into our bedroom and Nokea was in her closet. She had a suitcase lying on the floor and was throwing some of her things inside. I leaned against the doorway, looking at her like she was crazy.

  “Where in the hell do you think you’re going?”

  “Somewhere far away from you. You’ve gotten too out of line for me and I can’t deal with it anymore.”

  “Suit yourself,” I said walking away from the door. I went into the bathroom, dabbed my face with cold water and brushed my teeth. Afterward, I flossed and turned on the water in the shower. I let the water run, and then went back over to my closet to get some clothes. Nokea had closed her suitcase and rolled it out of the closet. I saw the saddened look on her face, but I was still too mad to respond. When LJ came into the room, he asked Nokea where she was going.

  “Mommie will call you later, okay?” she said, touching his cheeks.

  “Why are you crying?” he asked. He looked at her suitcase and started to tear up. Nokea got mad. “Stop acting like that,” she yelled. “I promise you that Mommie will call you later.”

  “Hold the fuck up,” I said, stepping out of the closet. “Don’t raise your voice at my child. LJ, go see what Nanna’s cooking for breakfast and close the door behind you.”

  He did as he was told, and without hesitation, Nokea was on her way out.

  “Why don’t you cut with the bullshit and go somewhere and sit down,” I said.

  She let go of her suitcase and proudly stepped up to me. She slapped the shit out of me, hard enough to turn my head. Afterward, she removed the diamond wedding ring on her finger and dropped it down inside of the black sweatpants I wore.

  “Go screw yourself Jaylin,” she said, turning to walk away.

&n
bsp; I rushed to the door, not realizing how serious our argument had gotten. I held the door shut with my hand above her head. “You are not going to disrupt this family,” I said. “Now, I don’t know who or what has gotten into you, but we need to talk this shit out, right here and right now.”

  “Nothing you can say will justify your selfish and hurtful words to me, as well as your conversing over the phone with a woman who has caused the both of us so many setbacks. The question is not what has gotten into me, but what the hell has happened to you? Since we’ve been married, you’ve never treated me like this. If you don’t love me anymore then it’s time for me to go.”

  “What would make you think that I don’t love you anymore?”

  “Replay the last several months of our marriage in your mind, Jaylin. You’ve been angry with Shane because of his relationship with Scorpio and you’re starting to take your frustrations out on me. You’re starting to give other women attention now, and when did your good fortune ever become an issue with us? I don’t care about this house or the lavish furniture in it. This house means nothing to me, if I can’t share it peacefully with the man I love. If you think you can live here without my presence, you go right ahead. Your millions and millions of dollars will never provide you with the comfort and support I’ve given you over the years. And, for the record, if this marriage doesn’t work itself out, you’d better be prepared to split your fortune right down the middle. I’ve earned every bit of it and for me to settle for anything less will not be in my best interest.”

  Nokea reached for the doorknob and I grabbed her waist. “Look, I know I’ve been kind of trippin’ and I’m sorry.” I placed my lips on the back of her head. “I don’t know what’s been troubling me. Even though I’ve been upset with Shane, it doesn’t mean that I love you any less. I would be devastated if you left me. There’s no way for me to stay here without you. No doubt, what’s mine is yours. I should have never stepped to you like that. Please forgive me, will you?”