by AJ Brooks
Taylor grabs his wrist, peeling the knife from his fingers. “Relax, big guy, you’re gonna poke your eye out with that thing. Don’t stress. She’ll come up with some details for you. Give the girl some breathing room.”
Max lets out a full breath like he’s frustrated with both of us but doesn’t pull his hand away until Taylor lets it go. He's obviously gotten passed the blushing mute thing he had going on before.
“Getting there made me nauseous. I had to go with this messenger guy… Curo.”
“Like the messenger god?” Max asks. “You’re on a nickname basis with Mercuro?”
“He’s Cy’s best friend. Curo is how I was introduced.” I shrug. “What’s funny is that with all my reality issues, as unreal as being there looked and felt, it was also real.”
“I don’t know what that means,” Max says. “You’re like, giving me nothing here.”
“You two sound like…” Taylor snorts. “Two old siblings or something.”
“Well, this is all crazy and she’s just… Not showing the right amount of enthusiasm over her experience.” Max tosses the veggies into a pan and Taylor rolls her eyes.
“The Fates were…crazy. Like they treated me like a pet, and the inside of their home is whatever you imagine it to be. I didn’t move, but I was suddenly in a wide hallway, entry, and a room away from the front door and then later I blinked, and I was in a totally different room.”
“Wow.” Max hands me a bowl and sits down on the other end of the couch. “This might be a cool twist for a video game a friend and I have been working on.”
“Max is a coder. He builds software,” Taylor announces, plopping down between us. She smiles at him like a game engineer is the coolest job ever. She’s digging the nerdy thing, and I smile. There’s a good feeling about the way they look at each other.
I glance between them a few times wondering if they could work. Huh. That would be something. It might be because they spent six days worrying about me and watching each others’ back.
Bonding over near death experiences and impending doom maybe isn’t the best way to fall in love. But really, who am I to talk. Cy and I didn’t exactly have a typical introduction.
After dinner where Max continually peppers me with questions, and where I artfully dodge what I did with my time on the beach, Taylor and I are ready to head out.
“You sure you’re okay?” Max stands in his doorway and looks between us, his thin face tight with concern. Taylor scoffs and pats his chest.
“We’re fine, Dad,” she says sarcastically before smiling. “Plus, we’ve got this. We’re walking home alone. We’re just that badass.”
I laugh and Max shakes his head.
“You have the knife sword thing?” he asks and I touch my pocket.
“We’re going to see my mom, Max. Chill.” I turn to start down the hallway and Taylor follows.
“Wait.” Max yells. We face him and his eyes flicker between us. “I told Cy I wouldn’t leave you. I’m coming with.”
He disappears behind the door and I glance at Taylor, who suddenly doesn’t want to have eye contact. Yeah. Him coming was all Cy’s idea...sure. I smile to myself as I head back down the hall to the entrance. It doesn’t take long for Max’s gangly legs to catch up.
< - - - >
I’ve only seen my mother briefly since she came home from the hospital but seeing as I’ve been gone six days, I’m worried how she’ll react.
“Zarah?” Crystal clutches her chest with both hands as she steps off the bottom step of our apartment.
“Hey.” I give her a wave.
She slams into me, holding me tightly. I’m too stunned to flinch or push away. “I’ve been so worried. Where were you?”
There’s really no good way to answer without sounding crazy. I hadn’t thought to come up with a good lie on our way over.
“Since when do you worry?” I step back trying to read her and get a grip on my own feelings at the same time.
Crystal stares at me stunned for a moment. Taylor grabs Max’s hand, pulling him down the alley far enough to give me space, but close enough I can still see her clearly. “You’ve been gone for days Zarah. Why wouldn’t I worry?”
“You do it. You disappear for days. How is this different? You’ve treated me like a roommate since I got here, and I…” Too many things left unsaid push between us. Old things. Deep things. “I didn’t think you cared…” I want to find the right words. “You left me with him, and...” But I can’t finish.
Crystal blinks a few times as she nods slightly.
Her eyes find mine. “When you came here… Zarah… You’re so much smarter and more mature than most people I know. In ways you’ve always felt older than me.” She swallows. “You didn’t need a mom.”
“Everyone needs a mom.”
Mom swipes at her eyes. “You were more self-sufficient than I could have imagined. It felt like a disservice not to give you free reign.”
“Free reign doesn’t mean you act like you don’t give a shit.” I don’t even know if we’re moving forward or backward.
“I know.” She nods. “I don’t know how to be a mom, Zarah. It all sort of crashed in on me yesterday. I didn’t know where you were, and you didn’t have your phone and once I started to worry, I couldn’t stop.”
Insane that this is all new to her. The mom thing.
I can’t believe that I’m going to be the one talking my mom through how to be a mother—no matter my age. And as much as I want to stomp away and be angry, the frustration starts to slide away. The frustration, the anger. The look in her eyes and the sincerity in her words push my anger away further, and we stand in the alley staring at one another.
“Can we?” she asks. “Start over?”
“Yeah.” The moment the word is out, a weight lifts from my body. “I think… I think we can do that.”
I lean against her car. Maybe we can all go inside and order some takeout and wait for Cy to get back. Maybe the worst part of this life is over now, and the rest won’t be as hard. Movement in the alley pulls my attention and I see her flowing gown, her hounds, her smile.
A rush of cold pinpricks up my spine, and movement of thin smoke so fast I can’t react. I lunge for mom but she’s gone. Max and Taylor are gone.
I grasp my knife and crouch, but there’s no color. No warning. No…nothing.
I’m alone.
"Taylor? Max?" I yell spinning around. "Mom!"
I run down the alley, knowing it's futile and stop. They’re not in a place where I can reach them.
"Taylor!" I scream again and slump against the wall.
Serissa took them. So easily. I lead her straight to them. Why did I ever think I could fight this? Them? Whatever will happen to me will happen. I was stupid to think I’d have any control over what my existence will be like. That my life could get better.
I stare at the sky, still clutching the knife, wondering if I’ll be taken next.
The familiar shakiness in my hands pushes me forward, only I have no idea where to go. What to do. I need Cy.
I don’t want to need him. I want us to be balanced, and we’re not. Not now. Not yet.
“Zarah…” Smith’s laughing voice floats out his window. “What you got goin’ on, girl? Yelling like a lunatic out there.”
I bolt up my stairs before I’m tempted by anything Smith has to offer.
“Quick like cat. I likey!” He laughs again as I shut the door.
The apartment is too quiet. Too still. I pull out my knife, but there’s no color indicating anything not from this world nearby.
Maybe “mist” doesn’t register. Cravings for any kind of escape tighten everything in my body to nearly breaking point. I need something to do. To focus.
I should be a crying puddle in the corner. For all I know my mom, Taylor and Max were killed in front of me, only something tells me they weren’t. She took them. I run to my paintings and jerk off the canvas covering, wanting to see my memories the wa
y I painted them, not the way they pounded into me when I was with the Fates. This is what I can focus on. Maybe I can learn something.
Helena and Cassius are first and I stare at the back of my head in the picture, now knowing it’s real. We were both so stupid, and it makes me wonder if we’re going to unknowingly do more stupid things now that we’re together again. If we’ll still want each other at the end of my trial. If I reach the end. If I even want to. How many years have I already spent on the earth? Maybe my soul will get too tired, and maybe that wouldn’t be the worst thing.
I spread out all the paintings, smiling when I see the Fates. One of the women is Serissa, and it runs a chill through my spine. Another woman whose love practically radiates from the canvas. Cy’s mother?
Movement shakes the room and I spin, knife out, before I feel the warmth of Cy.
He takes my wrist and presses his mouth to mine before I can talk.
“You’re fast. Faster than a human,” he murmurs, kissing me again.
I lean back sharply
“Cy, they’re gone.”
“Who’s gone?” He spins around, scanning the empty room.
“Mom, Max and Taylor. Serissa took them.” My hands start to shake again.
He grasps them in his. “How? What did it look like?”
“It was like… Nothing, Cy. It was like a quick, cold rush of wind, pale grey smoke, and then nothing.” I’m starting to really understand they’re gone as I tell Cy. “Why wasn’t I taken too?”
He pauses. “She can’t interfere with your trial, maybe... Or the knife? Did you have the knife?”
“Yeah.”
His hands squeeze mine tighter. “She’ll take them to the underworld. She’s getting desperate. She only has a couple weeks before her freedom is over. I shouldn’t have left you alone."
“We have to go get them.”
He pushes out a harsh laugh. “Mortals don’t typically return from the underworld alive, Zarah.”
“Oh.” I’m stunned. It couldn’t have happened that fast. She can’t have just killed them… There would be no purpose aside from hurting me. But maybe that’s enough.
“Need any help in here?” Smith’s voice carries through my door.
“No!” I yell at the same time Cy says, “Yes, thank you.”
“What?” I take a step back. “You know him?”
“Smith is a…Watcher. Kind of like a human tell-all. He has that same glitch you do in that he can see people from my world, even when they think they can’t be seen.”
“Is he a…” But I’m not even sure what to ask. “This is crap. He’s a thief and he deals drugs. I mean, come on.”
Smith chuckles and smiles a huge, white smile. “I’m a lot like you. Only unlike you, I won’t move past this.”
“I don’t understand.”
Smith shrugs. “I watch where I’m told to watch.”
“By whom?” Cy steps toward him, his head cocked to the side. His suspicious winds me up tighter.
“I can’t. If I tell you, man…” Smith rubs his eyes and Cassius relaxes.
“I understand.” Cy backs up a step. “We’re short on time, and I have to take a trip to visit the Underworld.”
“I’ll stick around.”
“You gave me E!” I point to Smith. “I don’t want you here!”
Smith chuckles again. “That E saved your life. You saw Serissa and her hounds when you might not have. Your brain is wired differently, Zarah.”
My mouth gapes open, and I’m stunned beyond words.
“Timing is crucial. I’m going now. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Cy’s face looks tortured again, and I wonder if we'll ever, ever, be able to be together without the pressure.
Cy steps toward me, pulling me into his arms.
“Be careful.” I kiss his cheek and his eyes close.
“I will be beyond happy when we reach a point where I’m not saying goodbye to you all the time.”
And in a flash he’s gone leaving me alone with Smith in Mom’s apartment.
This is…
Almost stranger than the Fates.
< - - - >
I’ve stared at my paintings for hours hoping for some kind of clue. My mind spins and my limbs twitch. Not knowing how my mom is, how my friends are. How many days Cassius might be gone.
I can’t stay here and have everyone fuss over me. I can’t sit helpless in my apartment. They’ll find me, but maybe if I find Curo first he can help. He can get to places I can’t get to. Maybe he’ll take me back to the Fates and they can help me. Or maybe I have a lot more control of where I go and who I talk to than I thought.
Smith fell asleep hours ago, and I don’t bother waking him, or telling him.
I can’t wait around for Serissa to come get me, or for the Unfated to feed on my soul, or for Cassius to come to my rescue. Again.
I outside and shiver in the night air, even though it’s a warm June night. I can't believe that three months ago, I was just Zarah. A messed up girl with an overactive imagination, and now I'm a...a...reincarnate, being hunted by the Queen of the Underworld and her zombie army. All because of something a former version of myself did lifetimes ago.
My fingers slide over the knife, which is cool blue grey steel, and my strength and determination aren’t from the Unfated. I’m taking my life into my own hands. I’m changing my own fate. On my terms. Starting now.
But first, I need to figure out how to find Curo.
XXVI
Cassius
Going to the Underworld is about as fun as it sounds. I shiver as I walk the cold paths. It’s hell. Literally. It’s filled with death and decay. No wonder Serissa turned into such a bitch.
I try to think of all the ways I could ever manage to get Taylor, Max and Crystal back without my full god status. There are some options but none that aren’t stupid and make me seem like a rookie—on top of which, nothing I’ve come up with has any possibility of success.
I suppose I am a rookie. I’ve never wanted to save anyone’s ass but my own. Sure, I helped Zarah in her past lives but not really. I did my one sort of good deed and patted myself on the back for it without ever truly knowing what stood right in front of me. My heart clenches as the last time I saw Helena rushes me. Even then, I knew something was different. I knew she kept secrets, and hid her horrors well, but still I left her presence for me.
The hallway feels longer than last time. When I pause, the stone disappears from around me, leaving me in Serissa’s dimly lit parlor.
Her only window out is into the flames of the underworld, which she has made into a fireplace. Not only bad souls go to the Underworld. It’s where all souls come to rest after their mortal life, but here in this section, Serissa is the keeper of the lost souls. She watches over those who have been banished after death. Part of her punishment. My mother really is cruelly ironic sometimes.
The room is filled with oversized furniture and despite the cool air and the fact that she’s a cold-hearted hag, the space really is warm and inviting. The smell of cloves and sugar permeate the air, like I’d expect from a mortal grandmother. It stunts my confidence and reminds me of days with Serissa that I’d rather forget.
I hear a rhythmic sound from behind me and spin to see Serissa leaning against an old wooden desk and drumming her fingers on the table.
“Oh, Cassius. What a perfectly wonderful surprise.” She pushes off the desk and makes her way to me, her sheer black robes dragging the stone floor behind her. I step back so she doesn’t get closer. I hate that she’s incapable of respecting personal space. Her instinct is to go for desire, to touch and tease, and I’m not in mood.
She stops a few feet away, and I take another step back to make sure there is always distance.
“Are we not friends anymore? Can’t get close enough to see those eyes?” she purrs and I look up to the tall stone ceiling.
“Stop, Serissa. I’m here to make sure you haven’t harmed the mortals. You know you can’t
interfere with a trial.” I’m so done playing games. I’m exhausted, and I don’t tire easily. This is basically one rule of the gods that is always upheld. Gods can’t kill mortals that aren’t destined to die. Only Morta can end a mortal life.
“Oh, you are smarter than I thought, but not as smart as you need to be,” she smirks. “I may not be able to kill them but there is nothing in the rules that says I can’t keep them. Like pets. The weakness of mortals has always intrigued me.”
I step closer, attempting the impossible: Reason with Serissa. “You need to give them to me.”
She laughs a loud bone-grinding laugh.
“Or what, Cassius? Don’t tell me you care for these mortals? They are nothing to us. Nothing compared to us.” She waves her hand dismissively and moves around me.
I roll my shoulders, frustrated. Always frustrated. No one has a straight answer.
“I care about Zarah.” It’s forceful and honest.
Serissa’s mouth pinches in a grimace.
“I’ll never let you hurt her.”
Serissa’s eyes flash with fury before she composes herself, forcing a laugh that reverberates off the stone walls.
“This is such fun, isn’t it? It’s been centuries since I’ve seen you this alive.”
I move toward her until our noses nearly touch. “Go to hell, Serissa. This is not about them. Let them go.”
She laughs again. “Oh, Cassius. How could you forget that I already live in hell.” She gestures toward the fireplace. “You used to visit me frequently if I remember…”
“You’re not going to get what you want from me this time.”
Her lids lower. “I always get what I want.”
I smile. "Not always..." The one thing she's always wanted more than anything has never been hers. My mother's position. Her power.
Serissa scowls at my low blow but she doesn’t back down. “That might be so, but first things first. Right now my only concern is you.”
“I’m not falling for it.”
“Oh, but you already have.”
My heart gets cold as a smile curls at her lips.