Dubious

by Charmaine Pauls

  She’s panting in my mouth, sucking the oxygen from my lungs, and fueling me with rapid breaths of ecstasy. I take as much as I give, drinking her air like a vampire. It becomes a battle of breaths, a sucking and exhaling, a give and take. Putting my free hand on her forehead, I smooth back her hair in a soothing caress, preparing her for what’s to come. As she starts breathing more easily from my mouth, accepting only the air I choose to give her, I pull out my finger and push back in. Her internal walls quiver around me. I drive in and out, finding a rhythm that matches the rise and fall of her chest. My thumb finds her clit, pressing down while I curl the finger inside to caress the soft spot under her pubic bone. Her hips lift toward me, chasing my touch, so I give her more, a bit harder, a bit faster.

  Her lower body trembles. I want to make her fly so fucking high. The thought has my balls climb up into my body. When the first flutter of a spasm strokes my finger, I glide my palm from her forehead over her eyes to pinch her nose shut with my thumb and forefinger. Before she has time to register my intention, I start fucking her with my finger in all earnest, slapping her pussy hard enough with the heel of my palm to turn her clit pink.

  I suck the life from her body with my mouth while I give back with my hand. Her legs scissor. Her ass lifts off the bed, and her toes curl inward. Then she begins to fight. She tries to twist her head in my hold while shoving at my shoulders. Realizing she’s no match for my strength, she scratches. My skin burns deliciously hot where her nails leave long gashes in my neck. She bites my tongue. The metallic taste of blood coats my lips and drives me wild. One more second and her body jerks as if she’s taken a thousand volts. I can own her life for several more seconds before she’ll pass out, but I don’t want it to go that far. I only want her to have the pleasure. Two more seconds and she falls limp, taking the relentless fucking of my finger in and on her pussy without fighting it any longer. She does nothing but ride the pleasure I force out of her, allowing me to control her breathing.

  Total surrender.

  I ease my hold on her nose and mouth, keeping our lips a hairbreadth apart. She sucks in the cool night air with a hoarse gasp, her neck arching from the intensity of the action. Shockwaves ripple through her abdomen, dissipating in her pussy. I keep her pussy in the vice of my middle finger, which is still inside her, and my thumb, which is pressing on her clit, until the tremors pass. Her vagina feels plump and ripe from my workout. I kiss her lips one last time, tracing my tongue over a spot where she bit herself during the struggling, and move down her body until my tongue finds her folds.

  She shivers when I push inside to taste her climax. It’s uniquely Valentina. She tastes raw and well loved, and I have a shocking desire to taste her with my cum in her body. I’m beyond myself with need. She protests with a meek whimper when I shove her thighs wide and push my hands under her ass, digging my fingers into the fleshy globes to pull her open. I stare at her cunt. She’s more than a treat. She’s the food I need to survive. I bury my head between her legs and devour her flesh. I eat her like I need her, with no excuses and no mercy.

  “Gabriel, no more. Please.”

  I ignore her begging. The business about finding her a man, a pretty man, to take her virginity has me on edge. I’ll give her a handsome man only this once, even if it feels like carving my heart out with a blunt knife, but fuck it, I own her. I need to show us both after all that will happen, she’ll still be mine. Her pleasure is mine. Getting her off is my addiction.

  I make her come once more with my mouth and twice with my hand. When I’m done, she’s boneless. I’m not even sure she’s conscious. I settle down beside her and drag her against my body. Folding my arms around her, I hold her until I drift into a haunted sleep.

  * * *

  Valentina

  I wake up with a weight on my stomach and chest. Gabriel is draped around me, fully dressed, except for his shoes. It’s the first time he stayed after making me come. A full-body flush heats my skin when I remember what he did last night. My breasts grow heavy, and my clit starts to throb. It was carnal. Deadly. Somewhere between the last orgasm and Gabriel petting me, I passed out, too tired to lift an eye. Careful not to move, I revel in the comfort of being in his warm arms. The sun is barely up, tainting the curtains with a golden glow. I don’t have to face the reality yet, that he’s the man who holds the power over my life. Charlie’s life. I bite my lip as I acknowledged the painful truth. I liked what he did. Very much. Once I got over my initial panic, I gave over to him, trusting him to keep me safe, and he did.

  Gabriel moves, his hold on me tightening. His breathing doesn’t change, but he drags his chin over my jaw and kisses my ear. His beard grates my skin, making me aware of his masculinity in a rough, pleasant way.

  “Morning, beautiful.” He nibbles on my earlobe and sweeps his palm over the goose bumps that break out on my skin. “Coffee?”

  Gabriel is offering me coffee? I turn to face him, trying to read his expression, but his face is blank.

  Without waiting for a reply, he swings his legs off the bed and gets to his feet. I don’t miss the flinch he tries to hide as he puts his weight on his damaged leg. His white shirt is crumpled, and his black hair sleep-messy. He looks gorgeous. I want to tell him how grateful I am that he didn’t leave me last night, how much I needed his arms around me after the intense way he treated my body, but he limps to the door and disappears before I can formulate the words.

  I have another ten minutes before my alarm goes. Cuddling under the covers, I feel replete and strangely happy. A short while later, Gabriel returns with a cup of steaming coffee, the welcome aroma filling my room.

  I prop myself up on the pillows to take it from him. “Thank you.” I’m not sure what else to say. It’s such an unexpected act.

  “Milk, two sugars,” he says.

  He knows how I drink my coffee? I blink at him, not sure if I should ask, but he doesn’t give me a chance. He wipes a thumb over my bottom lip, over the mark where I bit myself, and drags his heated eyes up to mine. From the way his cock hardens, he’s thinking about last night.

  He checks his watch and angles his head away from me. “I’ll be out tonight. Don’t leave tomorrow without saying goodbye.”

  The minute he walks out of my room, the air changes. A cold emptiness expands in my chest. Needing some warmth, I cradle the cup between my hands. I allow his act of kindness to warm my heart and fill my empty spaces. He’s a contradiction of sensations, a very bad kind of good.

  * * *

  Gabriel

  When I walk into my study after lunch, Helga sits in my chair. How the hell did she get past security?

  I click the door shut. “How did you get in?”

  “Hi to you, too.” She leans back in my chair and crosses her ankles on my desk. Her dress rides up to her thighs, exposing black garter stockings. “Chill. Your mother let me in.”

  I’ll have to have a word with Magda. For Carly’s sake, I don’t invite my bed partners home. Seeing her reminds me that I haven’t fucked a woman in a very long time, not since I took Valentina.

  “Why did you come?” I approach the desk, irritated with her presence. “You know the rules.”

  She pouts. “I miss you.”

  “Carly’s home, for fuck’s sake.”

  “You haven’t called. It’s not like you.”

  I cross my arms and stare at her. I don’t owe her explanations. We fuck when we’re both in the mood, and that’s that.

  “I need you, lover boy.”

  “I’ve told you before, don’t call me that.”

  She uncrosses her legs and plants a heel on each side of my desk. No panties. Her fanny is bare, shaved like I prefer. The wide posture gives me a prime view of the goods on offer.

  “Tell me what to call you, ugly boy.”

  Normally, Helga would have my balls in a knot with the act. By now, I would’ve had her bent over my desk. I would’ve spanked her pink before fucking her smart mouth, but not today. My cock
doesn’t stir. Not even a twitch.

  “I’m busy.”

  “It’ll only take five minutes.”

  I smirk. “You know me better than that.”

  “Okay,” she gives me a sly grin, “thirty if you make it a quickie.”

  “You have to leave.”

  “Throwing me out?”

  “Don’t make me. It won’t be pleasant for either of us.”

  She narrows her eyes. “Who are you fucking?”

  “No one.”

  “Come on. I know you. You can’t go a day without sex, let alone weeks.”

  I don’t have time for this shit. I round the desk and stop next to the chair, intimidating her with my size and height. “I’ll ask you nicely one last time.”

  She grabs my tie and pulls me down to her level. “You don’t scare me. Whatever you want to give, I can take it.”

  A knock on the door interrupts us, but she doesn’t let go or break the stare. I’m going to be a first-class jerk. I give her a calculated smile.

  “You won’t.”

  “Watch me,” I whisper.

  “It can be your daughter.”

  Carly never knocks. It’s probably Quincy or Rhett. “Come in,” I call in a loud voice.

  Helga’s eyes grow large. By now, she should know I never bluff. She brings her knees together and pulls down her dress, but not before the visitor who opens the door gets a full glimpse of her pussy.

  Triumphantly, I turn my head to see who the lucky spectator is and freeze. Valentina stands in the doorframe, a stack of white envelopes in her hand and shock in her eyes.

  9

  Gabriel

  “I’m sorry,” Valentina says. “I didn’t know you were busy.”

  I free my tie from Helga’s grip and straighten, not missing Helga’s curious expression. I have to be careful. Helga is perceptive. Raising a brow at Valentina, I encourage her to continue.

  She swallows and holds up the envelopes. “Your mother sent me to bring you these.”

  “Leave it on my desk.”

  She approaches with averted eyes and puts the stack on the corner. With a small nod, she hurries out of the room.

  “New staff?” Helga asks. “You never told me you have a maid. I thought you used a cleaning service.”

  I grip her arm and drag her to her feet.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Tell me why you’re really here.”

  She licks her lips. The facade finally drops. “I need money.”

  I always leave money after fucking Helga, and she’d feel two weeks without a bonus. Letting go of her arm, I take out my wallet and press a couple of thousand in her hand. She bats her eyelashes when I take her wrist and pull her around the desk.

  “Does this mean we’re fucking?”

  “It means I’m walking you out.” I all but drag her to the front door where Rhett stands guard. “See to it that she leaves the grounds.”

  “Gabriel!”

  The last thing I see before shutting the door in her face is her disgruntled expression. It’s over. I never want to see her again.

  * * *

  Valentina

  Gabriel Louw has a reputation. He’s dangerous, and the women who have first-hand experience say he fucks like a horse. Why seeing it with my own eyes hurt so much I can’t fathom. It’s not like I found out today. What did I expect? Exclusivity? Last night was sweet. The dull ache between my legs reminds me of how Gabriel fucked me with his finger. It’s the kind of hurt that feels good, until a few moments ago, before I walked in on a pretty blonde with her naked parts splayed on his desk. It’s a game to him. I’m his toy. When he tires of me, he’ll cast me aside. The only thing he values is the debt I owe. When I walk free, I don’t want to leave a piece of my heart here. That will be too ironic. It’s a good thing I walked in on them. No, it’s a good thing he allowed me to walk in on them. I guess he wanted me to see that, to remind me I’m not special. I’m one of many, and for the moment, I’m convenient.

  I get through the day by working myself to a standstill. Even my brain is too tired to think. That night, for the first time, he doesn’t come to me. I’m a heap of shivering and aching need when morning comes, cursing him and my body. Visions of him in the blonde woman’s bed drive me to maddened tears. He’s ruined me for other men. He’s ruined me for even myself.

  I’m busy with the vacuuming the following morning when he stumbles through the door, Rhett and Quincy in tow. His hair is disheveled, and there’s blood on his shirt. His knuckles are bleeding. My heart squeezes, and my pulse quickens. He glances at me, but limps down the hallway without a greeting. I contemplate the reason for his state the whole day, refusing to acknowledge the worry that gnaws on my gut. Worrying means caring, and I don’t care.

  At five, I have a shower and change into my shorts and T-shirt. I throw my tank top into my bag together with the food for the homeless dogs. I’m not in the mood to face Gabriel, but I’m not so stupid as to ignore his order to say goodbye before I leave.

  Like yesterday, he calls me in when I knock on his study door. I don’t enter, but only pop my head around the frame.

  “Have a good weekend. I’m off.” I retract my head, hoping to get away with a quick greeting, but I’m not that lucky.

  “Valentina.”

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath before facing him again.

  He gets up from behind his desk. He’s wearing a blue shirt with navy pants and a striped tie, looking as hot as ever. “I’ll take you.”

  All I can do is stare at him in confusion. “What?”

  “I’ll drop you off.”

  Gabriel is offering me a lift? I’m not sure how I feel about that. I don’t want him to be kind to me. “That’s not necessary. I can find my own way.”

  “Like you did last week?”

  “Um, yes.”

  “In a minivan?”

  “Yes.”

  He crosses the floor with menacing steps. “If you ever get into a minivan again, I’ll tan your ass so hard, you won’t sit for a week.”

  I blink up at him.

  “Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?” he asks.

  For a white girl, he means. Other people have cars. Nobody dares walking in the street alone. The chances are too good of getting raped, tortured, and murdered. Life carries no value in this city, but in my world, if you don’t have a choice, you just have to take your chances.

  “You’re worth a lot to me, Valentina. I own you, and I protect what’s mine.”

  He returns to the chair and lifts his jacket off the back. Picking up his keys from the desk, he takes my hand and leads me to the garage.

  I feel small next to him in the luxurious interior of his car. He says nothing as he steers the sleek Jaguar down the driveway and into the traffic. Instead of heading east, he goes north. He doesn’t ask where I’m going, so I keep my mouth shut until he pulls up in front of an exclusive store in Sandton. I get out when he comes around to open the door for me, clutching my bag to my chest as he guides me inside the luxurious shop. It’s not like any department store I know. There are no items on display. There’s only a leather sofa and a glass desk stacked with clothes, purses, and shoes. A pretty, young lady greets us by the door and waves an arm to the desk.

  “Everything’s ready for you, Mr. Louw.”

  He acknowledges her with a curt nod and ushers me forward. “Go ahead. Choose whatever you like.”

  Dumbfounded, I gape at him.

  “What’s your color, darling?” the woman asks. “Red will look good with your complexion. White, too. Silver for the evening.” She starts pulling dresses from the heap and drapes them over the sofa.

  “Um, excuse me.” I clear my throat. “May I please have a moment with…” What do I call him in front of her? “…Mr. Louw.”

  “Gabriel,” he corrects.

  The woman looks from me to Gabriel. There’s judgment in her eyes, even if she tries to hide it. “I’ll fetch refresh
ments. Take your time.”

  When she disappears into a backroom, I turn to Gabriel. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m getting you clothes.”

  “Why?”

  “I threw your blue dress in the trash.”

  “I don’t expect you to replace it.”

  “I told you I like to take care of you.”

  Wringing my hands together, I close the distance between us. “I can’t take your money.”

  His eyes darken, the chipped blue turning stormy. “It’s legal money.”

  “It’s not that. It just doesn’t feel right.”

  “Feels pretty damn good to me. Are you saying making me feel good isn’t right?”

  “Don’t twist my words.”

  He grabs me to him so suddenly my breath catches. Holding me around the waist with one arm, he cups my breast and gives my nipple a soft pinch. “Don’t test my patience.”

  Immediately, heat floods my body. It bubbles in my veins and sends blood to my clit. My nipples are as hard as pebbles. I want to hate the feelings coursing through me, but I can’t. As my body puts my arousal on display, the same heat I feel reflects in his eyes.