Wine of the Gods 4: Explorers

by Pam Uphoff

  There were dozens of doors off the cavernous entry hall. They were taken to a small side room and met by three people. Lefty introduced them. "His Majesty King Rebo Negue, General Rufi Negue, and President of the Council Lord Justin Kemper. From t'government of Earth's Department of Native Affairs, Jerold Hastings and Ivan Kolnavik. From t'privately owned company Dallas Dimensional Exploration, Roxy Seabaugh, Rae Galina, Scott Meyers, Julianne Prescott, Anne Jerkins and Alan Farnsworth." His accent was about halfway back to its original, and he was obviously slowing his speech down enough that the Earthers could understand.

  The King eyed them. "Please sit."

  There were seven chairs on the long side of the table opposite the trio. There were a number of uniformed men standing about, and at a side table, two men taking notes with what certainly looked like ball point pens. Jerold took the chair opposite the king. "Thank you for seeing us on such short notice, your majesty. We were unaware that . . . you could be reached so quickly."

  The King was a strong looking old man, ninety years old, if Lefty was to be believed. "I understand that you are here to introduce us to t'concept of joint ownership of an entire planet. And then try to negotiate it out from unda us. I have spoken to t'Ambassadors from Cove Island, Auralia and Verona. I'm afraid our relations with Scoone are ratha poor. You will have to contact them some othah way. T'othah ambassadors will no doubt be pleased to speak to you. My people will be conferring with them. I understand that you prefa t'negotiate with a single government. That won't happen, but we may manage a single joint panel that will negotiate in all our names. Now, I have been answering questions you have not even asked, so please, do speak t'us." The king had kept his speech slow, and the words well enough separated that they all followed his speech. Summed up DONA's job pretty succinctly.

  Jerold brought out what sounded like a standard pre-approved speech. "The Earth is a mighty world, strong and rich. We have spread far and wide, growing ever stronger. And now we have discovered you. We look forward to dealing with you, learning your ways and your languages. I hope that your people and mine can be friends."

  Roxy saw the amused expressions of the men facing them and winced.

  Lord Justin smirked. "I'm sure we can. I would like to see a copy of your controlling documents concerning the rights of the people of other worlds. I'm afraid I cannot provide you with our equivalent, as we have just become aware of the possibility of such. I do have a copy of our constitution, and a brief, explaining our system of justice, and a synopsis of the laws. I hope that last is a simple formality, and that respect for property and peoples is something you all understand."

  Jerold looked utterly blank for a long moment.

  Hadn't he ever been asked for documentation before?

  "I will, as soon as we can set up a local office, provide you with copies of legislation germane to the issue of Native relations."

  "Thank you."

  The General leaned forward. He was a handsome man in his forties, blond hair light enough to almost hide the gray in it. "We have selected a house suitable for your temporary embassy. It is owned by the crown, and is lightly furnished. We have previously discussed the matter of your legal status. We grant you diplomatic immunity. You have the freedom of the city and the Kingdom for six weeks. At that point I suspect we will be better acquainted with each other and can shift the footing of our relationship. You may communicate with us through Lieutenant Lebonift."

  The King rose, followed by the other two, and they walked out.

  Lefty sighed. "You really need to watch those bombastic speeches. It's quite revealing of your contempt." He took a slip of paper and a small box from another man, and exchanged salutes. "Nice address. I'll show you the way, shall I?"

  It was indeed a nice address. Just three blocks away. Lefty pointed out the Auralian Embassy as they passed it, then led them around to an alley with a stable. "Your gyps should fit. You may want to hire workers, maids, cooks, runners, gardeners." He gave them a brief rundown of the general salary ranges, the costs of dinners in restaurants, food in the market, and handed over the small box. "Funds to get you started. I assume you've brought trade goods and can support yourselves." Then he left them alone.

  Roxy looked around at the domed entry hall, the plaster trim and elegant furniture. A brilliant oil painting adorned one wall. "Damn. This is posh. I think the natives are sending us a message."

  Chapter Fourteen

  1360 Spring

  Foothills Province, Kingdom of the West

  It wasn't only the Gods that studied the Earthers. Question's brush with the medical establishment had given her a number of ideas. She ambushed Never and gave her a list

  "So, have I left anything out?"

  "Not that I can think of." Never ran her eyes down the list. "If we can devise a way to put spells into potions, and manufacture them, everyone will be as healthy as we are, up here in Ash."

  "And it's clear, from the Wine of the Gods, that the Auld Wulf and Gisele know how to do it. I think Dad does too, but he sneers at potions and calls them a randomly targeted waste of energy."

  "I know some apothecaries in Wallenton. They'd be happy to sell the potions, but what we really need is someone to run the manufactory and distribute the potions."

  "Right. C'mon." Question leaped up and pulled Never behind her. The herb garden was just across the alley from the Tavern, and Lady Gisele had gone back to pottering around inside the crooked little hut.

  "It's three steps you need to learn." The Goddess of Health and Fertility had the same maddening tendency to know what you hadn't said as all the other gods.

  "Steps?"

  "Yes. First the spells. Then the bare spell must be covered with compounds that will help it be absorbed by the body, instead of broken down in the stomach. The outer layer must aid the uptake into the bloodstream, as if it were food, and then an inner layer needs to assist the spells passage through the cell membrane. This inner layer can be detailed enough that mostly the right general sort of cell will absorb the spell. Those layers are the second step. The third step is the creation of a molecular assembler. Instead of having to put a spell on each bottle of your potions, the assemblers will do all the work, you just need to add the right ingredients and stir. Then filter your potions. The assemblers tend to be large. You simply put them back in the pot to make the next batch."

  "Oh. How interesting. That's why the Wine of the Gods spreads so easily . . . do the assemblers reproduce themselves?" Question frowned at that. "How big would they have to be to do that?"

  "Very good. If the assemblers copy themselves they become what are called Von Neumann machines. Very dangerous, because they keep going until they run out of energy or building materials. Design one just right, and it could turn the entire world into copies of itself. I highly advise against making any."

  Question leaned back, looking alarmed. "No kidding. The assemblers sound dangerous enough, even with a finite number of them."

  "Yes. Fortunately by making them powered by burning alcohol, and with all the crucial sections of the assembler partly alcohols, when it runs out of alcohol in the environment, it metabolizes itself. So these sorts of things are quite manageable. Now, let's see this list. Oh. Interesting. You have them grouped by organ system. You're correct in thinking that many of these can be bundled. Liver, gallbladder, spleen, pancreas and kidneys. I believe we'll need to split off the kidneys and bladder for separate treatment. Digestive system, nervous system, circulatory system. A potion that dealt with the common ills of each of them would save a lot of trouble, so long as the spells are properly hedged to do no harm in the absence of a disease condition. And one over arching spell for cancers and melanomas. But spells for women's problems . . . too many conflicts. Especially this one to stop ovulation. Dear me, that does conflict badly with nearly everything else."

  "Yes, but half the non-magical women's problems seem to center around keeping their husbands happy while keeping the number of children they have
to a number they can support. And that won't overtax the woman's reserves, or endanger her life if she has problems like mine, with repeated tubal pregnancies." Question sighed. "I need something like this. Lots of other women desperately need something like this. Something more reliable than the potpourri of herbs that usually works."

  "Yes. Indeed. So, let's look at the spells and the layering first . . . "

  A month later they were on their way to Wallenton, Dydit riding along "to keep Never from doing something insane." Lady Gisele, who hadn't left Ash in living memory sat cheerfully in the wagon soaking up the late fall sunshine. Sir Romeau caught up with them halfway there.

  "Princess of Light,

  Source of all Love,

  What on Earth are you doing?"

  Suddenly young and stunningly beautiful, Gisele fell off the wagon seat she laughed so hard. She bit a knuckle and cleared her throat. "Well. The God of Travelers wished us a safe trip, the God of War also known as the Wolf Company has handed over a heap of certificates of deposit to fund this venture, I'm coming along because it's a specialty of mine. And now we have the personal escort of the God of Love. My, aren't we Special!"

  Romeau grinned. "So long as Chance and Peace stay away, everything should be fine."

  Mr. Mucahy was a wiry old man who usually bought all of Ash's medicinal herbs and bottled them in various combinations with different liquids. He was busy with a customer, so they turned and browsed the shelves. Cough syrup, headache remedies, wart remover. Tooth ache . . . Late Moon?

  "What on the world is that?" Question asked.

  "It's an abortificant."

  Never looked down at the apothecary's assistant. The woman was younger than she was, her plain face made worse by an old burn scar on her left cheek. Curly brown hair almost covered the lack of an ear on that side.

  "Goodness, Never, what are you doing here at this time of the year? Does Ash have an epidemic?"

  Never snickered. "Nope, we've decided to go into the healing potions business. This is Question, it's actually her idea, and Lady Gisele who grows most of those herbs we sell you. This is Vaunette Mucahy."

  Gisele gave her a piercing look. "One copy of the wizard's gene, and your step father there is obviously a natural wizard. Excellent." She glanced over at the older man as he joined them.

  Question nodded politely. "This is the list of what we'll be making. We want to do it in sufficient volume that nearly everyone can get what they need. We wondered if the apothecary guild would be a good group to distribute everything through."

  He blinked, staring at Gisele. "Umm. The Guild is very strict in their membership, and the training of the . . . You're Her. Aren't you?"

  "Yes. And you're right. I set up the guild to minimize the number of charlatans that could sell who-knows-what as actual medicine. There won't be a problem with these two young women and their potions."

  He gulped. "Of course not." He looked down at the list and his eyebrows climbed. "We used to know how to do some of this."

  "Yes. I . . . should not have been so remote. I knew some had been lost, but somehow it seemed so hard to get up and find someone to teach." In her crone guise, it didn't seem at all unreasonable. Never and Question winced a bit, knowing the goddess could do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted.

  Gisele tapped her finger on the list. "These contain active magical spells, not herbs. What they will need is meticulous mixing with high quality ingredients, filtering, bottling and shipping."

  "We were hoping you knew people who could operate it, top to bottom." Never put in. "We don't have the time, or frankly, the business experience, to run a fairly large manufactory."

  Vaunette started smiling. "What about the Bethrums?"

  "Oh. Yes." The old man nodded.

  Vaunette looked up at Never. "They have a large bakery, and their landlord has sold the land out from under them. Wallenton is growing, and the land becoming so expensive that it just wasn't . . . they're looking at land outside the walls now, and trying to scrape up financing. They employed a dozen people, and shipped specialties to Karista and Havwee."

  Question nodded. "They sound good. Can you introduce us?"

  "Of course. Mind you, they won't give up baking and those special candies, syrups and mixtures of theirs very easily."

  Never just grinned. "If they understand the importance of quality ingredients, proper mixing and handling and bottling, then I don't care how much baking they do on the side."

  At that point a huge coach pulled up and a man in an overly ornate suit hopped down. Gisele groaned. And the man grinned. "Yes indeed, Lady Gisele. You are caught in the act of actually leaving your home. And not coming to see me. I'd be indignant, if I weren't so pleased to have you here."

  "Governor Newry, what a pleasure." Lady Gisele sighed resignedly. "I am here on business. Helping some friends set up a new manufactory of medicinal potions."

  "Indeed? They may have a problem. Land is getting tight and expensive. You know, Wallenton is lapping hard up against Section Four. Your section. Let me show you . . . "

  And that easily, the Goddess was swept off.

  Mr. Mucahy choked. "The Goddess of Health is the Land Grant Holder for Section Four? All the business community talks about is how they want to expand to the east, and the Governor won't intercede with the Grant Holder."

  Never chuckled. "I suppose he thinks it's better to have an entire city mad at him, rather than tick off a Goddess by siccing them on her."

  Vaunette shook her head. "You witches are just too scary. How about the other two invisible Land Grant Holders?"

  "The Auld Wulf, the God of War is the Grant Holder for section two. I expect Harry, the Traveler is the other one. The God of Love is a recent arrival, so probably not."

  "Hmm. Yes, Gisele Health, Harry Traveler and Wolf Old. I hadn't thought about . . . well, anything uncanny. Vaunette, why don't you mind the shop while I take the young women around to meet the Bethrums."

  The Bethrums were a bit dubious of such young benefactors, but looked over the ten potions they wanted to manufacture and all the procedures and admitted that they could easily make them, but still preferred to own their own business. In the end they worked out an agreement that had two separate businesses, the bakery and the potions, with the Bethrums managing both and gradually purchasing the land and buildings of the bakery from Never and Question's potion brewing company.

  "You just need to train up a good staff and especially a good manager by the time you're ready to cast us loose." Question looked quite pleased with the arrangement. Gisele had opened a swath of land, four miles deep and eighteen miles long to purchasers, and hired an engineer to get the water and sewer systems and the basic road grid in. The Governor was delighted about everything except Lady Gisele's escape, in the arms of a gentleman on a chestnut stallion. In her stead, Never and Question had tea with the Governor's wife, and found themselves attending a wide variety of the other social and business meetings in town. In contrast to the royal get togethers she'd suffered through, they were refreshingly easy to keep on topic, and none involved controlling her. Dydit attended the occasions that called for a male escort, his eyes laughing as she tried to not answer like a witch. In private, Vaunette told how she and Never had met and about the pushy suitors, seven of them, all given a secret rendezvous at the same time and place; a then empty over grown lot across the street from the apothecary's. "For about two hours there were these rude men stomping through the brush, running into each other out there. I could hear them from upstairs. 'Ah! My beauty, I'd about given up hope . . . Who the hell are you?'"

  "Never! I never thought you could do such a thing!" Question sputtered.

  "Ha!" Dydit gave her a fishy look. "The only surprise is she didn't go watch the fun."

  Never grinned. "Jealous, Goat?"

  Vaunette blushed. "Witches! Honestly!"

  Never grinned. "I should have thought and brought you some wine of the gods. You would not believe the effect that
stuff has on people."

  "I've heard. No way am I going to trash my reputation running around . . . honestly. What were your gods thinking?"

  Dydit snorted. "They weren't thinking at all. They were drunk."

  "You are as strange to talk to as Never."

  They finalized the construction contracts, sent samples of all the potions to the headquarters of the Apothecary's Guild in Karista, and escaped back to their home.

  Question looked down at the village as they covered the last mile. "Never? Are we outgrowing Ash?"

  "Mentally? I don't know. I don't feel very cosmopolitan, but I did enjoy talking business. And last summer, learning about all the different worlds. Meeting people from different worlds. That was just fascinating."

  "Lon's a lot like us, just going out and seeing what's there. Do you suppose we could ever do that?"

  "It would be fun wouldn't it? We don't have the technology to make a gate . . . but then they don't have magic. Sir Romeau sort of remembers having something to do with gates."

  "I wonder if they'll remember enough to open a gate themselves?"

  "Now that would be interesting."

  Chapter Fifteen

  15 June 3477

  Karista, Capital of the Kingdom of the West

  Roxy was glad of her position, behind Jerry, as the Veronan Ambassador steepled his fingers and looked them over.

  "That was easily the most insultingly stupid speech I've ever heard. The superiority inherent in the attitude makes me suspect that what you consider a good relationship between states is very different than my definition. If you wish, I will forward a letter to the Emperor. I suggest you apply your intelligence to not insulting him. Or perhaps you should apply someone else's intelligence. Yours doesn't seem to be up to the task."