Fractured & Formidable: The Sacred Hearts MC Book V

by Downey, A. J.

  “Better come with me, Red. Rev is having a real epic freak out over you bouncing like that. Won’t let Doc look at him until he sees you,” I nodded and pushed off from the wall a little unsteady. Reaver grasped my arm and with what now felt like a phalanx of leather and denim clad muscled guards, I was escorted back to the girl’s locker room.

  Everett, Dray and Ghost were waiting outside. Everett hugged me and asked, “Better, Sis?” I nodded, she whispered in my ear, “I saw it too but they aren’t the same, not by a long wide mile.”

  I clutched Everett to me tight and felt so incredibly lucky and blessed to have her in my life. For so long she had forged a path ahead for me and for so long she had towed me along when I was too afraid to step out on my own, and for the longest time she had been my rock, my center, my stationary piece of ground while everything that was supposed to be stable in my life spun hopelessly out of control.

  “Red, Doc needs to check him out,” Ghost said gently and his voice was tinged with enough worry, that a worry of my own bloomed in my chest. I pulled back from Evy, squared my shoulders and pushed through the door to the locker room on my own.

  I found Zander on one of the hard, narrow benches in front of the open showers. He rocked back and forth, agitated beyond measure, Doc standing nearby trying to argue some sense into him. At the sound of my heels on the itty bitty sandstone colored and pink ceramic tiles, Zander’s head snapped up and his chocolate caramel eyes held such a raw fear, a raw pain, that a very new and different panic seized my heart in its grip. It was just a glimpse, a flash and then it was replaced by a fine burning rage. Anger spilled through his warm brown eyes and turned them hard.

  “Out!” he stood up, and gave Trigger and Doc each a scathing look, “Both of you!” Trigger put up his hands. Doc made to argue, and I shook my head.

  “Just… just give us a minute,” I said.

  “Fine but I gotta look at him, make sure he ain’t concussed,” Doc said darkly and I nodded.

  “I’m not fucking concussed! Shit I’ve had enough of ‘em. Now get out!” Zander growled.

  “Be right outside,” Trigger said to me and I nodded, maybe a bit too rapidly. Zander was Zander. Zander wasn’t my dad. I repeated it like a mantra in my head.

  The locker room door swished closed behind them and the hollow thunk of it coming to a complete close was all it took. Zander rushed me and instinctively I backpedaled, fetching up hard against a set of metal lockers. Zander gave no quarter and pressed into me. I bit back a whimper, capturing my bottom lip between my teeth and though I knew in my heart and my mind that I had nothing to fear, my body still braced for impact. Instead of a slap or a cuff, his hands gently but firmly cupped my face. That raw, pained look from when I first entered back in place.

  “Oh God, Red. Promise you aren’t gonna leave me. Just say you’ll let me explain or fix it somehow. The look on your face, please, just please… don’t do anything, don’t make any decisions right now, tonight… just not yet,” and any fear I’d had simply drained from my body. I would give anything to take that look from his eyes, to strip the desperation from his voice. I shook my head, helpless to say anything; I mean what could I say?

  Zander relieved me of saying anything by crushing his mouth over mine. I put my arms around him and held him tightly to me, returning his kiss with an equal measure of urgency. Maybe if I showed him rather than told him? He kissed me savagely, with a near bruising force and ground his body into mine. I sighed out and welcomed it, holding him tightly against me. He shoved my coat back off my shoulders and down my arms and I let it fall, not even caring.

  Any notion of being a proper preacher’s daughter flew straight out the window in the face of Zander thinking I was going to leave him. Yes, I’d been frightened, yes, with my history I apparently didn’t do well around violence, but Zander had never, and I do mean ever, given me a hint, not one little iota of anything resembling violence aimed at me.

  His large hands smoothed over Everett’s short dress until they found the silk of the stockings at the too short hemline. He smoothed his broad palms under the skirt and I moaned slightly into his mouth. He tore his lips from mine, chest heaving and with a savage yank my panties gave way, my hips jerking forward, spine jolting at the insistency of it.

  “I need you. God, after a kiss like that!” I found myself nodding rapidly, I needed him too. I felt just as much urgency, just as much passion and for once I didn’t care about what was proper, or who was listening, or who might walk in and catch us. I just wanted Zander, needed him like I needed the very air we breathed. I needed for there to be no doubt, no lingering worry or fear that we were anything other than perfectly okay.

  I felt him shove his shorts down in front, but I was too tall! Especially with the heels. Zander’s hands gripped my ass and the skirt rode up, he pressed me back into the lockers and kissed me again.

  “Trust me Baby, I got you. Just let go,” and I did. I trusted that he had me and I let my legs go, let them give out from beneath me and Zander indeed had me in hand. He pressed me back against the locker and simultaneously hauled me up his body by brute strength alone. I wound my arms around his shoulders and my legs around his lean hips and after a moment or two of awkwardly shifting his pelvis against mine, with a triumphant grunt he slid into me. Hard. While I was wet, I wasn’t quite as ready as he usually made me and so I cried out from the intensity of it.

  That just seemed to urge him on. He shoved into me hard and harder, establishing a swift and punishing rhythm, and oh God the angle he had me at was perfect. He rode over that secret place inside me and his thrusting with me against the bank of lockers, created just the right amount of friction between our bodies in just the right place. I felt my nails bite into his shoulders and his teeth set into one of mine, the spike of pain combined with the pleasure sent me sailing out into the ether.

  I cried out, a sharp, piercing sound of deep satisfaction. The locker room door burst open and someone swore as it swung shut again, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was the man in my arms, who, trembling, carefully slid me down his body until I had my feet under me again. I let him help me stand, my legs shaking and unsteady, both of our chests heaving. Zander tugged my skirt back down into place for me, and I felt my face flame as he tugged up his shorts and the locker room door opened again.

  “You two about done so I can have a look at my patient?” Doc called in, hiding behind the door.

  “Yeah! We’re good,” Zander called back and I tugged down on my dress one last time for good measure. I fixed my eyes onto the bench behind Zander and he held my hand, refusing to let it go, his thumb swiping back and forth over the underside of my wrist in a soothing little touch.

  “About fuckin’ time man!” someone said harshly and a fighter in blue and green shorts barged past Trigger into the locker room. He eyed me side long.

  “Oh. What’s your name sweetheart?” he asked with a wry grin. I swallowed hard, my face flaming harder, now that the passion had cooled, in retrospect having sex in a high school locker room around this much testosterone seemed like a really bad idea. Though, heaven help me, I couldn’t be sorry. Zander answered the man’s question so I didn’t have to.

  “Property of Revelator. She’s my Ol’ Lady, so fuck off!” The man laughed and dropped onto a different bench toward the other end of the lockers.

  “Easy boy, he’s just being a dick. Save it for the ring if you go back, now let me have a look at‘cha,” Zander let Doc check him over while a new kind of warmth and glow took over me. Everett and the others had spoken of the importance of the title, of what it truly meant to be an Old Lady. I stood behind Zander and let him lean into my body, effectively using me as a backrest while he answered questions, letting Doc shine a light into his eyes… Just everything you might expect. Doc used a couple of butterfly bandages on Zander’s cheek and pronounced him fit for travel.

  Zander rolled his head back against my stomach and looked up my body at me. “You’re
staying with me,” he declared, his voice heavily edged with some unnamed but powerful emotion. His eyes still held an edge of that same darkness that I’d seen in the ring, but it was much cooler, much more diminished now. His control back, and absolute.

  I swallowed hard and nodded rapidly. I wanted to stay with him tonight, needed to stay with him. So his pronouncement was all right by me.

  Chapter 19

  Revelator…

  “What happened back there?” I asked her softly, half dreading the answer. She turned in her seat to look at me.

  “It was the look on your face, when you’d won… I just… it just… it looked like…” I reached out a hand and covered hers where they were folded in her lap, as I carefully piloted my Chevelle through the snow covered streets toward home. Red sucked in a deep breath and let out a gusty sigh.

  “It looked like the one on my father’s face every time he got done with me or mom,” she rushed out, trailing off with, “It scared me.”

  I couldn’t help it, I let out an incredulous laugh, “Shit Baby Doll, the look on your face right before you bolted out of there liked to have given me a fuckin’ heart attack!” I glanced sideways at her when she didn’t say anything, her eyes were downcast and a look of incredible guilt stained her lovely face. I shook her hands and her eyes snapped up to mine as I rolled us to a stop.

  “Stop. I get it; it’s okay. I just never wanna do anything to put that look on your face again,” truthfully I was just so fuckin’ grateful that Mandy was as intellectual as she was at such a young fuckin’ age. That she hadn’t just gone on pure fucking emotion and high tailed it out of there. That she’d actually stopped to think about why she was losing her shit so that I didn’t lose her. She was just so fuckin’ smart and gutsy and strong and she didn’t see a single damned one of those things in herself, I’d bet you dollars to doughnuts.

  I pulled through the intersection when the light turned green and continued to hold her hands fast in mine. At least one of us had kept their cool tonight. I was kicking myself for fucking her in the locker room. She deserved so much better than that and I’d not only done it, I hadn’t exactly been gentle about it. I owed her for that. I owed her for that big. I especially owed her something for which I could never repay her for throwing caution to the wind and forgoing a condom. I knew she was on birth control but still. I was a fucking douchebag. No way around that. I probably should, at the very least, buy her a new pair of panties.

  “What are you thinking about so hard all of a sudden?” her quiet lilting voice permeated the cabin of my car, strong but still soft beneath the muscle car’s growl. I’d heard her though and she deserved an answer.

  “I was a dick back there. Tearing your panties off, and while I can’t and don’t regret what we did, I do regret not treating you better, not waiting to take you to a bed and I really regret not protecting you better.” She raised her eyebrows in question and I shifted in my seat. Adrenaline gone, and I was starting to get sore.

  “I should have put on a condom, I know you’re on birth control but it still wasn’t right of me… Red?” she shifted in her seat, kneeling up on the black leather and leaning towards me. I pulled up to another stoplight and braked and when we were solid at a stop, turned to look at her, just as her soft and gentle lips met mine.

  “I love you Zander,” she whispered softly and sat back to look me in the eye. I stared back at this fucking fire haired angel sitting in my car, and wondered for a minute how in the fuck I got so lucky.

  “I love you too, Red. I love you too,” the light turned green and I put the car in gear and managed to get us the rest of the way home in one piece. Once in the driveway I shifted the Chevelle into park and turned my head to look at my girl, gaze roaming her face, committing every freckle, every nuanced thing about her into memory.

  “What?” she asked softly.

  “You. You’re just so fuckin’ beautiful it breaks me,” I admitted to her.

  “Oh Zander,” she closed her eyes, a sad and somewhat pained look flitting across her features.

  “I was fractured when you found me and the break in me was mending so badly. It took you a while, but I feel like you’ve finally set me. Like I’m on the right path and I can heal the break now. You’ve made so many improvements in my life in such a short amount of time… I don’t know how I could ever express my gratitude and just joy that you – “

  She didn’t get to finish her sentence. I’d reached out, lightning quick and hooked a hand behind her head and pulled her mouth to mine. I kissed her fiercely, pouring every bit of love and pride I could muster into her mouth from mine as the interior of my car cooled, the engine ticking softly in the night. She pulled back, breathless, lips slightly swollen and I felt my cock twitch in my shorts.

  “Inside Baby. I need a hot shower and to bury myself in you all over again.” She shivered at my words and I smirked, knowing it had shit to do with the cold creeping in. We got out of the car and I put my arm around her as we went for the front door, which opened before I could put the key in the lock.

  “Hey, thought I heard your car,” Disney said.

  “Sup Puddin’?” I asked.

  “Did you win?” he countered. Mandy broke into a beautiful smile that held just the edge of sadness now.

  “Yes,” she murmured to Disney and the lilt in her voice held such a weight, such a strain. I loved her, and while I couldn’t or wouldn’t stop fighting, I had to be okay with the fact that my girl wouldn’t be at any more of my matches, because I wouldn’t and couldn’t put her through it again.

  “You gonna move or are we gonna have to stand out here freezing our asses off all night?” I asked. Disney grinned and moved aside. Aaron looked up from a nest of blankets on the couch, the movie they were watching paused on a blur of blues and blacks.

  “Congratulations, I think?” Aaron said eyeing me dubiously.

  “Yep! Another one bites the dust, knocked his ass out cold. Night girls, I’m taking my woman to bed,” I raised a fist and pumped it into the air and Disney and Aaron laughed.

  “Night.”

  “Good night!” they chorused and I leaned on Mandy a bit as we went down the hall toward my room.

  “Shower first right?” she asked softly. I nodded. The tired was starting to set in, after all the Adrenaline and emotions ran out. I generally slept after a fight like a fucking baby. But I wasn’t ready for sleep, not yet.

  “Shower with me,” I said and it wasn’t a request. She smiled and nodded softly.

  “Miss the curls?” she asked and I nodded. I loved her curls, the straight look was okay but it had really thrown me for a loop. I’d said as much after our locker room throw down and Doc had gotten done messing with me.

  I probably should have phrased it better than “What the fuck did you do to your hair?” but I hadn’t. I was a dick and apparently I was batting a thousand tonight with my actions as well as my fucking mouth.

  Still, despite all my douchebaggary, she carefully helped me strip out of my jacket and cut and the hooded sweatshirt I wore underneath. Undressing me before stripping herself in the bathroom. We got into a hot shower and pretty much kept it to all business. Well, she did. I stood there and let her look after me. I could tell it brought her a sense of pleasure by the gentle curve of her lips, and after taking a pummeling, damn if it didn’t feel fucking fantastic. I was also about five grand the richer for the bottom tier fight. Next one would be worth seventy-five hundred. Not bad for barely a nights work… well if you didn’t really count the almost month of training in with it.

  I’d stopped fighting for the year it took me to prospect for the club. I’d been totally committed to earning my patch, didn’t half ass a god damned thing and I was fucking proud as hell that I’d made the cut. I held Red’s body close to mine and watched her wash her hair while I thought about things.

  All in all I was fuckin’ blessed. I had my brothers, I had my girl and pretty soon I would have a new shop too. Trig and I had
found a location in Old Town, down and across the street from The Spot and around six blocks over from Sugar’s, the strip joint we all went to from time to time but never told the girls about. Pretty fuckin’ sure that they knew about it. I knew for a fact that Trig nailed Ashton’s tight little ass to the fucking wall as soon as he got back to her. That fucker had never been shy about doing it in front of people.

  “What are you smiling about?” Red asked and I think I actually blushed… fucking busted. She started laughing.

  “I’m afraid to tell you, honestly,” I told her.

  “Oh now you’re telling me mister!” she put her hands on her hips and yep, no hiding it, my cock started to rise to the challenge. She lifted an eyebrow and gave me the ‘you better tell me’ look and I pulled her tight against me.

  “I was thinking about how the guys sometimes secretly go to Sugars,” I said carefully.

  “The strip club? Oh that’s no secret,” she said and I returned the ‘you better tell me now’ look. Red laughed.

  “Look, all of the Old Ladies trust their men, none of them have ever been given a reason not to, the general consensus among the female population of the club is, and this is Chandra talking here, ‘the boys know they can have their McDonalds anywhere but they get their steak at home’. Ashton doesn’t mind that Trigger looks because he doesn’t touch and Hayden and Everett pretty much agree with Ashton because as soon as their men get home, they reap the benefits of their little outing.” She wound her arms around my shoulders as we stood sideways in the warm liquid spray from the showerhead so we both stayed warm.

  “What does my preacher’s daughter think?” I asked, voice low and teasing.

  “I think that I haven’t had to deal with it yet, so I don’t really know how I am going to feel until it happens… I think that if I had to make up my own mind that I agree with the rest of the girls. I’m finding that the world isn’t as black and white or set in stone as my father thinks it to be. I think that I love you, and I trust you and I have faith that you feel the same and that means you wouldn’t cheat on me.” Her hazel eyes were so wide and so sincere and I think half of what she was saying was a brave front. She didn’t have a god damned thing to worry about though so I told her so.