Distracted

by Warren, Alexandra

  I was gone.

  So far gone, in so deep, that it honestly scared the crap out of me. But I suppose a little bit of that carefree, go with the flow energy Bryson loved to apply to life was starting to rub off on me. He had even confessed his love for me on more than one occasion and though I wasn’t quite ready to say it back, I was grateful to know I wasn’t in my feelings alone.

  My phone vibrated against the nightstand. But when I reached to get it, Bryson’s hold on my waist got tighter.

  “Nu uh, baby. I’m not lettin’ you run away from me yet.”

  I giggled as I tugged a little harder and told him, “I’m just grabbing my phone, Bryson.”

  He gave me just enough slack to grab it before he pulled me back in even closer than I had been before.

  He was already peppering kisses against my bare shoulder as I opened the text from Chloe.

  Chloe Cartrashian: Girl… did you know Bryson has a baby on the way?!?

  I pulled away from him just enough to reply without him being able to see the screen.

  Kenn’dall: Yeah, he told me it’s not his though.

  I didn’t feel it was necessary to mention my still-suspect conversation with the culprit herself.

  Chloe Cartrashian: So you already saw this?… *link*

  I clicked the link and the header alone made my heart skip a beat.

  Baller Bae turned Baby Daddy

  So we should’ve known it was only a matter of time before our favorite baller bae, Bryson Harris, got trapped by a member of the groupie gang. But it’s been confirmed that he has a child on the way with none other than a Nicole Cooper (@nikkicoop on Instagram for the creepers that just have to see what she looks like). She’s cute, so I’m sure the baby will be too. But we’re still not happy to see one of our favorites go. Check out a gallery of our favorite pics of Bryson from over the years below!

  I read the little blurb twice to make sure I hadn’t missed anything, but there it was in fine print.

  Confirmed.

  No longer slim chance, but confirmed.

  And he knew.

  He had to know.

  I removed his arm from around my waist and went straight for my clothes that were scattered all over the room.

  “Kenn baby, what’s the matter?” The tears were already forming as I snatched my pants from the floor.

  “You… you knew.”

  He sat up concerned, tossing his long legs to the edge of the bed so that he could stand up and ask, “I knew what, baby?”

  “The baby. It’s yours. It’s really yours. And you knew! When the fuck were you gonna tell me, Bryson? Huh? Were you gonna fuck me a few more times and toss it in as a by-the-way over pillow talk? Send me a cute little text with it tagged on the end? Leave a note on the fuckin’ fridge?!” The tears gushed out of hiding in no time at all.

  I was pulling my shirt down over my head as he pleaded, “Baby, please calm down. I was gonna tell you last night but then…”

  “But then nothin’! I don’t wanna hear it, Bryson! Have a fuckin’ fantastic life with your fuckin’ fantastic family!” Just the thought of Bryson with someone else made me wanna throw up.

  He remained calm, following me down the stairs as he explained, “Kennedy, Nicole and I will never be a family. We made a common mistake as grownups and now we have to deal with it. But that was well before you and I became a thing.”

  I stuffed my feet into my shoes that were thankfully waiting for me at the door as I replied, “I knew that coming into this, Bryson. But you knew… and you held it from me. I’ve been with you every damn day and you held it from me. How am I supposed to feel about that?” I felt pathetic as I wiped away the tears that were steadily streaming down my face. He attempted to pull me into a hug, but I pushed him away.

  “Kennedy, I’m sorry. I swear I was gonna tell you.”

  “Kinda like how you were gonna tell me about the damn baby in the first place? Right. I’m out of here. Just… do me a favor and leave me the hell alone.” I yanked open the door but he stopped it from opening completely with a stiff arm.

  “I can’t do that, Kenn. I love you too much for that shit. Don’t let this pull us apart, baby.” I almost believed him until I remembered who I was dealing with. Sure he had been sweet as of late, but he was still Bryson.

  Same ol’ player ass Bryson.

  So I faced him straight up, feeling bolder than ever before as I told him, “You’re really good at this. Your whole ‘I fucked up but keep me around anyway’ spill is like… A1. Rehearsed. Practiced to be made perfect. Which tells me everything I need to know about you. So like I said, leave. me. the hell. alone!”

  &

  I took the long way home, which really did nothing but allow me to cry in the comfort of my car for way longer than I should’ve been. I mean, where were the tears coming from anyway? Why was I so emotional about this fool?

  Because you love him, Kennedy.

  That’s why.

  “Well love sucks!” I answered myself out loud as I pulled into the parking lot of my apartment complex. It took me a few minutes to pull myself together before I walked inside, surprised to see all of the lights on.

  What the hell?

  I could hear singing coming from the shower and since I knew it wasn’t me, I could only attribute the lyrics to one person.

  Landon.

  Why is he still around?

  Better question… how long has he been around?

  I quietly walked to the bathroom, opening the door to only be hit with a burst of steam. I made my way further inside, flushing the toilet so he would get hit with freezing cold water.

  “Shit! What the!” He pulled back the shower curtain and I just stood there with my arms crossed and a scowl on my face.

  “Why are you here?”

  He shrugged before reaching back to turn the water off. “Hotels got too expensive. So I came back since you haven’t been here in who knows how long.”

  I rolled my eyes, thinking about where I had been spending all of my time before I told him, “Well I’m back now. So you need to get out of here.”

  He stepped out, wrapping a towel around his waist as he challenged me, “I don’t technically have to leave, Kennedy. I had already paid my share of the rent for the month before all this shit went down. So unless you plan on coughing up a prorated refund, I’ll be here for a little while.” Since I was technically unemployed, I knew that wasn’t even possible.

  “Fine, Landon! Just stay out of my way, alright?”

  He laughed, rubbing his lotion in as he said, “Shit was too good to be true, huh? You should’ve known that before you invested so much in him, Kennedy. You knew who you were dealin’ with.” I was far more annoyed than I could handle.

  “Fuck you, Landon. How about you deal with that?”

  He laughed again and I stormed out of the bathroom, heading straight to the bedroom and slamming the door behind me. Then I closed every last blind, stripped out of my clothes and crawled into bed for good.

  Bryson

  I didn’t wanna go.

  It was the final game of the series, the game that would decide if we were league champions for the second time in three years or if we were runner-up for the second time in three years.

  Losing last year’s game had been a pretty tough pill to swallow, but nothing felt as tough as dealing with Kennedy leaving me. My chest felt heavy, my head felt light, and I was… I was so lost that even simple tasks like taking a shower felt like moving mountains.

  My phone had been ringing off the hook ever since that stupid ass article dropped, but I only answered the ones from Miles, Wes, and Leslie. Miles was pissed at me for not telling him about his “nephew”, Wes was wondering why I was running so late for shootaround, and Leslie was keeping me up-to-date on my PR Rep’s moves to get this whole thing squashed. They still couldn’t pinpoint if Nicole had broken our non-disclosure agreement or if it was someone else who dropped the news, but none of that seemed as impo
rtant as figuring out how to get Kennedy back.

  Seeing her cry - making her cry - literally broke my heart. It wasn’t the first time a girl had cried over me to my face, but something about Kennedy’s tears felt like bullets to my chest.

  I had fucked up.

  I fucked up her trust in me, fucked up our vibes, fucked up our energy.

  And that, I couldn’t live with.

  I should’ve been heading to the arena, but instead I got dressed and headed straight to Kennedy’s apartment. It took a few knocks before the door was answered and once it was, my heart fell to my feet.

  Landon was wearing the smuggest look as he said, “Can I help you with something?”

  “Where’s Kennedy?” I had already saw her car in the parking lot so I knew she was home.

  “I don’t think she’s really interested in the likes of you right now, bruh. But don’t worry, I’m taking good care of her.” I bit the inside of my cheek, clenching my fists tight as I tried to stop myself from throwing a punch. I was sure a reaction was all he really wanted.

  I rubbed the back of my neck to self-soothe as I said, “Just umm… tell her I stopped by, alright?”

  He shrugged before he replied, “Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t.”

  I cocked my head to the side, trying to figure out what Kennedy ever saw in this clown. Surely she wasn’t giving him the time of day like he was insisting, but that didn’t stop the idea from giving me a headache as I walked back to the car.

  &

  The game came and went in a flash.

  I could only vaguely remember the champagne-showers in the locker room and that was simply because I almost got blinded by a cork when I zoned out from the umpteenth time.

  None of it felt as good as I imagined it to and I knew it was all because of her. Not that she had done anything wrong, but the fact that she wasn’t there to celebrate with me made it feel less important; less monumental.

  I was dazing off again when Wes draped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me in to tease, “MVP! MVP! You were on fire tonight, bro!” It was crazy that my recollection of the game wasn’t good enough to determine if he was right.

  “Thanks, man.”

  He let me go and I continued down the hall to the postgame interview room. But once I realized he wasn’t walking with me, I turned around and found him with a confused look on his face.

  “What’s up, bro? Aren’t you comin’?”

  He took the few steps over to where I stood, taking a closer look at me before he said, “Yeah. I was just tryna figure out what the hell is wrong with you. We just won a championship, B. A championship! And looking at you, you would’ve thought we got our asses kicked.”

  Damn, is it that obvious?

  I did my best to convince him otherwise, forcing a smile as I told him, “I’m good, bro. Don’t trip.”

  He only sighed before he replied, “You ain’t gotta fake it, B. Chloe already told me what happened with you and Kennedy.”

  Damnit.

  I tried to brush him off as best as I could. “Nah, I’m not even trippin’ off that. It is what it is. I’m just ready to get these interviews over with so I can roll to the crib.” I wanted nothing more than to grab one of the leftover Lime-A-Rita’s, take a long bath, and get in bed. But of course, Wes looked at me like I had said the most ludicrous thing he’d ever heard.

  “The crib? You can not be serious right now. We gotta go out and celebrate, man. You know that.” I continued my pursuit of the interview room and he followed closely.

  “I think I’ma sit this one out, Wes. Not really in the mood to party.”

  He walked next to me stride for stride as he asked, “Damn. She really fucked your head up, didn’t she?”

  “If it was only my head, I wouldn’t have a problem. It’s my heart that’s the fucked up one.” The feeling was so foreign, yet so deep. Moms had always told me that once the heart knew, it just knew.

  And I definitely knew.

  Even more so now, for all the wrong reasons.

  Wes looked almost as exhausted as I felt when he said, “Shit, B. You gotta get that back then. Once the heart is involved, it’ll never just blow over. No matter what you do, no matter who you screw, she’ll always be in the back of your head. You’re just gonna have to fight for her forgiveness. If she feels the same way about you, she’ll forgive you eventually.” He made it sound so easy, but I knew that was hardly the case when it came to someone like stubborn ass Kennedy.

  “I don’t have time for eventually. I need her back now.” Though it wasn’t like that much time had passed since the day she stormed out of my house, it had certainly gone by in slow motion, teasing me for my wrongdoings with every second that ticked away.

  We stood outside of the door as Wes put a hand to his chin and said, “Well… I got an idea for how we can expedite the process a little bit.”

  I could hardly imagine what kind of bullshit Wes had come up with in that head of his. But I really wasn’t in a position to turn down any advice so I told him, “I’ll take whatever your dishin’ out, bro.”

  He pulled me in, whispering his master plan in my ear and though I knew it was a stretch, it was the best shot I’d have at getting my girl back.

  Kennedy

  I wasn’t sure how much time had passed.

  Hell, I really didn’t even know what day it was if we were being completely honest.

  Nothing other than going to the bathroom felt worthy of getting up for and thankfully that was only a few steps away.

  My stomach felt empty, but I didn’t have a taste for anything.

  My mouth was dry, but nothing sounded like it would quench my thirst.

  My hair was a mess, my skin felt dewy, and I was pretty sure the sleep-lines on my face were a nap away from being permanent.

  Long story short, I was a wreck.

  And it was all his fault.

  I mean… was telling me the baby was actually his really that hard of a task?

  All it took were a couple of words and I would’ve at least been in a position to make the decision of if I was comfortable with the idea or not. Of course I knew it was always a possibility and I suppose it was somewhat my fault for not sticking to our original deal. And now that I had developed such strong feelings for him - had fallen in love with him -, I may have actually considered the arrangement if he would’ve just told me. But finding out from a friend when the owner of the news had been right next to me - or inside of me if we’re being technical -, that was like trying to swallow a horse pill with a swollen throat.

  It just wasn’t gonna happen.

  I heard a soft knock on the door, but I really wasn’t in the mood to deal with the only person who could be on the other end; Landon. He had checked in on me a few times and though I was grateful for the teeny ounce of human interaction, he was still in second place on my shit list.

  He knocked once more before coming inside and my nose was instantly assaulted with the smell of greasy cheeseburgers and fresh out of the fryer French fries.

  Naturally my stomach growled in response.

  He walked over to the blinds, pulling the string to open them and letting in the little bit of light from the night’s sky. Then he found a spot on the edge of the bed where I was laying.

  He stroked my hair out of my face, wearing the biggest smile as he sat the bag right in front of me.

  “Hey babe, you should probably try to eat something. I know you have got to be hungry by now.”

  “What do you have?” In a couple of sniffs, I probably could’ve figured out the exact order. But that was gonna require more energy that I had to give.

  “Your favorite. Double cheeseburger, add bacon, extra mustard, hold the tomato. And a side of curly fries.” I used the last of my energy to sit up and rip the bag open.

  “Damn, girl. You know there’s been food in the house all this time.” I rolled my eyes, pulling back the wrapper of the heavenly goodness. Then I lifted the burger to my mouth, comp
letely unbothered by the grease that dripped down to my wrist when I took a bite, and moaned as I chewed.

  I could feel Landon watching my every move as I took a second bite. Through chews, I managed to ask, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  He smiled again as he answered, “Because even in this state of… disarray, you’re still pretty damn attractive.” I couldn’t smile back, but I was able to give a little smirk.

  “Well thank you. And thanks for the food.”

  He nodded as he stood up from the bed. “Anytime, babe. There’s a soda too, but I figured you’d prefer a glass of wine.”

  “Glass? More like bottle.” He laughed his way out of the door before eventually returning with the bottle and a corkscrew.

  “If you need anything else just give me a holler, alright?”

  I pulled my hair behind my ear, focusing my attention back on what was left of the burger as I nodded my head yes. And once he was out of sight, all I could think about was how nice he was being to me. Of course we would never be what we once were, but it still felt good to have someone on my side.

  &

  Turning on my phone was a huge mistake.

  My head was still fuzzy from drinking half a bottle of wine the night before, so the light alone was irritating. But the endless notifications pouring in took irritation to a whole new level.

  Texts from Chloe, texts from Bryson, texts from numbers I didn’t even have saved. And then voicemail, after voicemail, after voicemail of… apologies.

  I couldn’t deal.

  I replied to Chloe’s texts to let her know I was indeed alive and had no intentions of going out anytime soon like she was insisting, then I replied with a capital FUCK YOU to Bryson that never actually got sent.

  I scrolled through a few of the texts from numbers I didn’t recognize, mostly bloggers looking for information on Bryson, before I found one from someone I actually knew.

  Hey sis. I hope all is well. I know you’re upset with Bryson, but he really wants to know if you’re at least okay. Text me back and let me know if you don’t wanna talk to him directly. -Miles

  What a sweetheart.

  Hey Miles. I’m good. Thanks for checking in on me. Much <3 -KW