Distracted

by Warren, Alexandra

  Since we weren’t on air, DJ Mix’m - who’s real name was Malik - decided to strike up a normal conversation.

  “So what happened with you and your girl, B?”

  I scrubbed a hand down my face, giving my beard a tug as I told him, “She umm… it’s kind of a long story.”

  He laughed, moving his mic from in front of his face as he said, “Well condense it to the two minutes we have left of the song.”

  I sighed, knowing I didn’t really wanna talk about it but probably needed to so I wouldn’t overthink it on my own.

  “Basically… I have a child on the way. She knew it was a possibility, we weren’t together when it happened. But when it was actually confirmed, she found out from someone else before I could tell her. Of course that made her mad, we fought, she left. Then I saw her after we had already argued about it and we came to the conclusion that it only made sense for us to say goodbye, even though that’s not really what I wanted to do.”

  He looked confused as he asked, “Well then why’d you go for it? Shit, why’d you even suggest it?”

  I shrugged. “I guess I just... I couldn’t live with her being unhappy over my mistakes.” The last thing I wanted to do was make Kennedy bitter.

  He nodded to agree with me as he said, “Ahh, yeah I feel you. Well look, let’s finish this interview up, then I’ll give you some tips on how I’ve been married for ten years and counting.”

  Kennedy

  “Well… that was cute.”

  I sat in the passenger seat stunned as I rode to the mall with Chloe. I hardly ever listened to the radio in my own car, preferring my rotation of the same three CDs. But since we were in Chloe’s car, I had heard the whole thing.

  The whole thing.

  And I had to keep blinking to fight off the tears.

  I tried to play it cool, looking out of the window as I told her, “It was nice.”

  She quickly brushed me off. “Oh come on now, Kennedy. That was easily the sweetest thing I’ve heard in like… the last five years. Maybe even ten.” I knew she was right, but I refused to admit it out loud; especially since I had already been thinking about Bryson pretty heavy. It was almost like the interview, even if I had only heard it by chance, was the icing on the cake I was already thinking about baking.

  Now I was ready to actually go buy the ingredients.

  “So what do I do, Chloe?” I couldn’t believe I was asking her of all people for advice.

  She whipped into the parking lot as she confidently shared, “If I were you, I’d show up on his doorstep in only a trench coat and those fancy ass shoes he bought you.”

  I screeched, “Chloe, be for real! What should I do?”

  I watched as she engaged in a parking war with another customer, cutting him off to get into the spot before she finally answered, “Honestly, I think you should take him back, Kennedy. I mean, you’ve been just as miserable, if not more since ya’ll… would call it a break-up?”

  I nodded. “Something like that.”

  She made herself busy checking her face in the sun visor mirror as she continued, “Well, anyway. Make him work for it, obviously. But hear him out and decide if it’s what you want. I’m pretty sure you’ll know right away if you can stand the rain,” she said with a laugh as she flipped it close.

  Even though her advice wasn’t the worst I had ever heard from her, I still couldn’t help but tease her as we got out of the car, “Chloe, you’re really no help.”

  She slammed her door shut, walking around the front of it to meet me.

  “What? I gave you the best I had. But I know you, and you’re gonna do what you wanna do regardless of what I or anyone else tells you. I guess I’m just saving my breath.” I pushed her in the shoulder a little, causing her to stumble away with a laugh.

  “But seriously, Kennedy. Just think about it, alright? Give yourself some time… maybe until the parade or somethin’, to decide what you wanna do and how you wanna move forward.”

  In all honesty, it was a really good idea.

  A great idea.

  An idea I could actually make use of.

  I pulled my girl in by the arm to tell her, “Thank you, Chloe.”

  “You’re welcome, Kenn. Now since I gave you such stellar advice, I’m gonna need you to put every last one of those stylist skills to use to help me find something cute to wear for Mr. Wes tonight. Gotta keep my champion on his toes.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh as I said, “You’ve got a deal.”

  &

  My hands were filled with bags of stuff I really didn’t need, but still managed to feel good about as I struggled to unlock the front door of my apartment. And for once, Landon’s presence paid off as he must’ve heard me bumping the lock and came to open it.

  “Thank you,” I tossed out, as I slid past him with all of my goods.

  “Damn, girl. What’d you do? Buy the whole mall?” A laugh escaped before I could hold it in.

  “Shut up, Landon.”

  I sat the bags down in the bedroom before my nose led me back to the kitchen.

  “Mmm… something smells good. What are you cooking?” He turned around with a smile before he went back to work on the stove.

  “Some shit one of the other teachers wouldn’t stop raving about in our training, so I thought I’d give it a try. Here, how about you come have a taste?” I thought about turning him down just in case he was trying to poison me or something, but quickly realized he wasn’t that damn crazy.

  He lifted the spoon, holding his hand under just in case it spilled, before he brought it to my mouth. I gave him a skeptical eye before I opened my lips and accepted the sample. My skeptical eye shut as I savored the mystery flavor that was the perfect mix of spicy and fruity.

  He leaned in, whispering in my ear, “It’s good, huh?” His closeness use to give me tingles, but now it practically gave me the same reaction as the sauce gave me. Quick burst of goodness that I could pretend to savor before it was indeed over.

  So I shrugged, stepping away before I told him, “It’s alright.”

  He laughed, turning back to the stove as he said, “Yeah right, Kennedy. I saw that face. It’s bomb.”

  “Well yeah, if that’s what you’re into. I suppose you’ll be… satisfied.” He froze once he digested my words before he went back to stirring.

  “Well, if you want some of this non-satisfying food, it’ll be ready in a few minutes.” I was ready to turn him down when my stomach growled, putting me on blast.

  Landon laughed as he said, “Mmhm, that’s what I thought. You aren’t foolin’ me.”

  I really wanted to say something smart back, but there was no use. And besides, a good meal would give me the fuel I needed to figure out my plans with Bryson.

  Bryson

  “Bro, come on now. You have to come to the Championship parade. That shit isn’t optional. The whole city will be there.”

  Wes was pacing back and forth in front of my bed, the bed I had no plans of getting out of just to be around people. Sure I would probably be handed a hefty fine for not attending the parade, probably be deemed the bad guy, and probably lose a bunch of fans, but I honestly didn’t care.

  She was really gone.

  Correction; I let her go… willingly.

  And now after talking to DJ Mix’m, I couldn’t stop wondering what alternatives we had for handling the situation. Shit, maybe if I would’ve pleaded my case a little better, we would’ve had a chance. Or maybe we just needed to go to counseling or somethin’. Or maybe...

  Wes’s voice cut me from my thoughts. “Bryson, are you even listening to me? Look, I know that whole shit with Kennedy still isn’t sittin’ right, but you’ve gotta snap out of it. Like ASAP.”

  I knew he was right, but something made me ask, “Wes, have you ever had your heartbroken?”

  He tossed a hand at me like the question was ridiculous. “Hell nah. I don’t fall in love. That shit is a trap.”

  I quickly corrected him,
“No. Groupies are a trap. Take it from me.”

  He nodded his head to agree. “Noted. But for real, B. We gotta go. Suck that shit up for the people and let’s ride out.” I knew he wasn’t giving up anytime soon and even if he did, Leslie would be next to blow up my phone and my doorbell until I showed up.

  “Man… alright. I’ll be ready in a minute. Wait for me downstairs.” He nodded before he left my room, closing the door behind him. I looked at the Championship shirt he had brought for me to wear and even though I hardly felt worthy of the title, I pulled it over my head, scrubbing a hand over my hair that was long overdue for a haircut.

  Hopefully there’s a hat to match the shirt.

  I went to the closet to change out of my pajama pants into some jeans and all I could think about was Kennedy sorting through rack after rack until she found the perfect pair for me to wear. She was always so intricate like that, always so on point. I could already imagine her little scowl as I went to pick out a pair of tennis shoes, but I concluded that with this particular event, she wouldn’t mind so much.

  Damn, I miss that girl.

  I went back to the bedroom to grab my phone and shoot her a text. Even if we were done pursuing a relationship, maybe she had actually heard my little spill on the radio and would consider at least being friends with me again.

  Hey Kenn. I wanted to invite you to the Championship parade today at 4 ‘o clock. I’m pretty sure Chloe’s coming too, so you won’t be alone or anything, though it’s pretty hard to feel alone in a crowd of thousands lol. Let me know. -B$

  I finished getting dressed then snatched my phone up to see she had actually replied.

  Kennedy: We’ll be there.

  It was so simple, yet it filled me with so much excitement that I could hardly contain myself as I jogged down the stairs to meet Wes.

  “Ready, bro?”

  He looked at me suspiciously before he asked, “What’s gotten into you, man? Just ten minutes ago you were all Danny Downer and shit.”

  My grin was ear-to-ear as I told him, “She’s coming.”

  He stood up so we could leave but not without asking, “Who?”

  I enthusiastically answered, “Kennedy. She’s coming to the parade.”

  He laughed, putting a hand to his forehead as he said. “Aww shit. That’s what you’re all hyped up about? That girl has got you mad sprung, B.”

  I knew it was true and there was no denying it. I was crazy about Kennedy, which really only meant one thing.

  I had to get her back.

  &

  I saw her before she noticed me.

  Though most people were cheering us on and trying to catch the different freebies we were tossing out from the float, she was busy on her phone. So instead of calling out to her since I knew she wouldn’t hear me, I pulled out my phone and sent her a text.

  Look up, Kenn. -B$

  I could tell the exact moment she got the text because her head flew up and her eyes locked in on mine before she served up a sugary sweet smile that surprised the hell out of me. I mean, she had actually shown up, so I suppose that was worth something. But I still wasn’t expecting her to actually be happy to see me.

  While I had her attention, I quickly sent her another text.

  Baby, you look absolutely stunning. I miss you so damn much. -B$

  She was smiling into her phone so I took that as a sign to send her one more.

  Kennedy, I’m too in love with you to let you go. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you, I swear. -B$

  I couldn’t see her face clearly since our float had passed her, but I could tell she was replying.

  Kenn: Whatever it takes, huh?

  Whatever it takes, baby. I’ll give you the world if I have to, though until we get world peace and shit, you should probably hold off on accepting it. -B$

  Kenn: LOL. I can’t stand you, or the rain, and I swear on that. ;)

  Smiling at me.

  LOLs.

  This had to be a sign for me to make my move.

  Well can you stand me enough to let me take you to dinner tonight? -B$

  It was risky, but now was a better chance than any to ask her.

  It took a little while for a reply to come, but I was more than happy with the results when it did.

  Kenn: Sure. Send me the details.

  Kennedy

  I was nervous.

  More nervous than I had been for anything in a long time.

  Agreeing to going to dinner with Bryson was… not a want, but a need. After sleeping on the whole situation, I had come to the conclusion that I did in fact want to be with him. Exactly how we were gonna make it work, I wasn’t sure. But I was willing to figure it out if he was willing to do the same.

  The kind of love I still felt for Bryson was scary if I was being honest with myself. So there was really no way of just… letting it go. Sure I could’ve tried to detox myself of everything him, but I really would’ve just been losing even more of myself in the process.

  Just because Bryson had a child on the way didn’t mean he was incapable of loving me too.

  And he did love me.

  In fact, he loved me so much that he was willing to sacrifice his own happiness by really seeing things from my point of view and acknowledging how much sense it made for me to move on.

  For a moment, I really believed I was going to do just that. That I was just gonna be able to say farewell and move on with my life as if he never even existed. But then I realized that even in his absence, I was still consumed by him. My thoughts, my feelings, my heart… were out of my hands, out of my control. I had reached the point of no return and I was finally ready to accept it.

  I was considering changing my outfit for the hundredth time when there was a soft knock on the bedroom door. I could pretty much assume it was Landon so I told him to come on in.

  He looked at me through the mirror as he said, “Perfect. You’re already dressed. I was gonna see if you wanted to go grab a bite to eat with me.”

  “Umm… actually, I’m going to dinner with Bryson.”

  His expression was a mix of confusion and disbelief. “Wait a minute. You’re doing what?”

  I rolled my eyes, doing a final touch-up of my makeup as I told him, “Landon, I know you heard me loud and clear so I’m not gonna repeat it for your listening pleasure.” I could only see his reflection in the mirror, but he appeared completely outdone.

  “So you’re tellin’ me… we were engaged, we both cheated, and you don’t even consider taking me back. But this dude has a damn baby on the way and he gets to take you to dinner? What kinda shit is that, Kennedy?”

  I turned off my lighted vanity mirror before I grabbed my clutch from the bed and went past him out of the bedroom door. Of course he was right on my heels, so I decided to explain, “That’s none of your business, Landon. What we had has been over for quite some time now and though I can understand if this little arrangement had you confused, I’m here to tell you that nothing between us has changed.”

  I figured that was enough for him to get the point, but clearly I was wrong as he spewed from behind me, “So you’d rather be with the dude that clearly dogged you out and will more than likely rub it in your face for the next however long ya’ll actually end up together? You’re being a fool, Kennedy.”

  My hand was already on the doorknob, but that stopped me from turning it.

  “Well if I’m such a fool, then why are you still here? Why are you so desperate to be with me? Why have you been trying to blind me with your sweet little antics so that I would take you back? I’m not the fool here. You’re the fool for even thinking for a second that I’d be interested in the likes of you. Now… I’m gonna go, but I suggest your foolish ass finds a new place to hang out at cause I’m over this.”

  He wasted no time challenging me, “I’m not going anywhere, Kennedy.”

  “Well you know what? You don’t have to, Landon. I’ll go. As soon as I get back, I’ll pack my things and g
o.” I wasn’t sure how any of that was actually gonna work, but I’d find a way if that meant I could get away from Landon for good.

  Instead of being as mad as I imagined him to be, he actually seemed amused as he said, “Yeah, that’s if you aren’t too busy crying to me about how Bryson has fucked you over again.”

  I rolled my eyes so hard I was afraid they’d get stuck. “Your jealousy is so not attractive. But true colors will always find a way to show, huh? How about you go find some business of your own, Landon. I’m sure Brandy could use a few more dollars during her set tonight.”

  Sure, it was a low blow but quite honestly, I didn’t care. And he didn’t even have a comeback, just watched me as I walked out of the apartment.

  I secretly wished I would never have to come back.

  Bryson

  I was ready.

  Ready to see her, ready to be with her, ready to release all of the feelings I was forced to keep bottled in when we couldn’t just… be.

  I knew it would probably be wise of me to follow her lead so that I didn’t overstep, but just thinking about it all had me more anxious than I had ever felt about any one of my “important” basketball games. I knew I looked good, smelled good, and had actually found time to get a haircut, but I still wasn’t sure how she’d accept me.

  Was she just being friendly or did her new, positive attitude actually mean something?

  I prayed for the latter.

  I took a peek at my Rolex before I looked towards the door of the restaurant I knew she loved since I always caught her having leftovers from the place for lunch. It wasn’t exactly the fanciest place I could’ve found, but I wanted to prove myself as being caring, and observant, and…

  Chill, bro.

  I peeked up again as she strolled inside looking even better than when I saw her earlier at the parade. She was wearing a simple spaghetti-strap dress that hung onto her lanky frame and flat sandals which I hardly ever saw her wear considering she stayed in heels. Her hair was pulled up into one of those little knot things, putting her high cheekbones on display. And her lips were tinted with red, probably the same color she wore during her interview.