Fragile Simplicity
Page 12
She turned to see Paige leaning against the metal lockers, a concerned look darkening her face.
Kyleigh sighed, brushing her hair back as it just dawned on her she’d forgotten to run a brush through it before she’d left Brad’s. “You could say that. To be honest, I don’t really know what the hell happened last night. All I know is that I was completely ignorant,” she explained, her face crumpling at the realization. Tears threatened to show the extent of her pain, and she quickly diverted her attention to digging into her purse for something she didn’t even need.
“God, I feel so sick right now,” Kyleigh said as she ran her fingers through her messy hair, trying to straighten it out as best as she could. After a few minutes of getting nowhere with it, she slung her arms down to her sides in defeat and leaned her head against the locker.
“Are you going to be okay? Maybe you need to go home?” Paige said as she peered into her face.
Kyleigh gave her a look and said, “Yes, and no. I’ll be fine, though. I’ll stick it out the rest of the day. I just did something really stupid last night, but I’m sure it will get better, it has to because I’m not sure it can get worse.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Paige asked.
“Well, I walked out on David last night, but I’m sure it’s for the best. He’s just not himself anymore. He’s not the David I knew and fell in love with and the way he’s coping with his problems is something I just can’t handle,” Kyleigh said, her voice trailing off as she pictured him passed out on his concrete floor with a bottle lying next to him.
Paige was quiet for a moment and then said, “I’m sorry, Kyleigh. I know it must have been a hard decision for you to make and I’m sure you had your reasons.” She paused briefly and then added, “He’s got a lot going on in that head of his since Randy died. I feel bad for him but I’m not sure how to help him. You’d be the only one who could probably get through to him.”
Kyleigh’s eyes drifted to the tiled floor as she thought about that remark, wondering if she was the only one who could help pull him out of the darkness that seemed always to suck him in. She shook those thoughts away, not knowing how she could do that, considering she was a total mess herself. “Yeah, I did have a good reason, but I still feel it was a bad decision. I love David, and I feel like I should be sticking by him through everything, but I don’t know how to help him,” she said absently, more to herself than to Paige.
“Sometimes just being there is enough to help someone,” Paige said.
Kyleigh smiled, knowing that was true. She should be there for David, no matter what. If she loved him, she should hold his hand through whatever mess he’s dealing with. They should be there for each other. “Yes, that’s true, and that’s what I should be doing,” Kyleigh said.
Turning away from Paige, she opened her locker and shoved her purse inside, just like she wanted to shove her emotions away. Finally she said, “I just don’t know what on earth caused me to sleep with Brad last night. I mean, I was drunk, yes, but even drunk I know I wouldn’t make that stupid of a decision. It’s just weird. I must have been more of an emotional, drunken mess than I imagined.”
“Oh, Kyleigh, what all happened last night?” Paige asked disappointment evident in her low tone. Her eyebrows were creased together to show a small line that always formed when she was worried about something. And Kyleigh knew anything dealing with Brad worried her.
Sucking in a ragged breath, Kyleigh looked at Paige with regret in her eyes. “I met Brooke at Copperhead Bar so I could just get away and wrap my head around everything. Brad showed up and was supposed to leave me alone if I gave him one dance, but he somehow managed to stick around after that. By the end of the night, I was so drunk that Brooke didn’t think she could get me out of the car and he was supposed to have taken me home, but that’s not where I ended up,” Kyleigh said, letting her voice die away at the end. She couldn’t believe how stupid she’d been last night to trust him. She should have never let herself get so drunk.
“Kyleigh, he didn’t do anything he shouldn’t have done, did he? I know you’re over him so I can’t imagine you wanting to sleep with him,” Paige asked the panic she felt showing in her tight lipped expression.
Kyleigh looked away, not wanting to discuss something that she had yet to wrap her head around. “It’s fine, Paige. I’m sure it was consensual and it’s probably because I was drunk.”
“Oh, my God, Kyleigh, why do I have a feeling it wasn’t completely? I really wish you’d get Brad out of your life for good. For some reason he keeps showing up and I’m worried about you, Kyleigh,” Paige said leaning against the locker as she waited for Kyleigh to say something.
After several silent seconds, Paige grabbed her shoulder and said, “Are you going to do anything about it?”
Kyleigh looked at the worry and fear in Paige’s eyes and then at her hand that was gripping her shoulder. Doing something about last night would be crazy, considering she didn’t remember most of it. She shook her head and said, “Do what? I have no proof of anything besides being drunk off my ass. Plus, it’ll just stir more shit up with him. I don’t want to make things more difficult than they already are. Anyway, I plan on clearing things up with him tonight. I don’t want him to think we are getting back together.”
Shaking her head, Paige said, “Kyleigh, I just think you need to do something about last night. If he, in fact, took advantage of you, you need to report it or something.”
“No, Paige, I’m not going to push it. I’m going to make sure he gets the point tonight and I’m not leaving until he completely understands it’s over.” Kyleigh turned and shut her locker, giving Paige the cue that she was also shutting the conversation down.
She saw disappointment settle onto Paige’s face, but it wasn’t her problem to deal with.
They headed out towards the main hall, and with the queasiness beginning to die away, Kyleigh was starting to feel a little better.
“Well, look who finally made it into work,” Brooke bellowed down the hall as she waved her hands frantically, making sure to cause a huge scene.
“Can you be any louder,” Kyleigh asked once she came up next to her.
“Yes, as a matter of fact I can. So, how are you feeling, girl? You were pretty drunk last night, I honestly didn’t expect to see you at work today. I did call you this morning but you never answer your phone,” Brooke said as she cupped Kyleigh’s cheeks and peered into her face.
“Like shit, if you want me to be honest. How in the hell did you get to work on time? Did you not drink as much as me?”
Brooke laughed and said, “Uh, no. And I lost track of how many you had. I see that Brad got you home alive? I was a little worried about letting you leave with him, but he said it was on his way, and it wasn’t like you didn’t know him. I mean, you guys dated for a couple of years.”
“Yeah, I guess you could say that. I don’t remember most of last night, though,” Kyleigh said, and as she was getting ready to say something else, Paige interrupted.
“No, he didn’t get her home okay. He ended up taking her to his place and she’s not too sure if it was all consensual or not,” Paige said, her voice low but her soft tone had a sharpness in it that Kyleigh rarely heard.
Brooke’s mouth shot open and she said, “Kyleigh? What happened after I let you leave with him?”
“You guys, it’s okay,” Kyleigh said as she threw her hands up. “I don’t know, Brooke, but maybe I’ll get some answers tonight when I stop by and talk to him. I plan on setting everything straight with him tonight. I have nothing to go on right now, other than waking up naked in his bathroom cradled across the toilet and him running his mouth that one thing led to another and I had a lot of fun, so, I don’t know, maybe I agreed to it all.”
“Kyleigh, you can’t agree to something when you’re so drunk you don’t know where you are or what’s going on. This is all my fault, I never should have let you leave with him,” Brooke said.
“Brooke, it’s okay, you had no idea anything like that would happen. But, I’m alive and in one piece, so everything’s okay. I don’t want you to worry about something that we don’t even know happened, or not. Brad runs his mouth all the time. He’s a liar and you can never believe anything he says,” Kyleigh said, wrapping her arm around her shoulder.
“Well, I’ll kill that bastard if he did do something to you. You just tell me if he says anything else tonight. I have my ways of handling things that need to be handled,” Brooke said. Her lips creased into a devious grin and Kyleigh wondered what all she had handled in her past.
Sighing, Kyleigh decided she didn’t want to know right now and said, “It was a bad decision to drag things on with him for so long. I should have told him about David and me a long time ago.”
“But you’re telling him everything tonight so there will no longer be any confusion on his end. Just be careful when you talk to him, Kyleigh, I know how Brad is when he doesn’t get his way. Do you want me to go with you?” Paige asked.
“I know; that’s why I’ve been so reticent about telling him. I’ve always been a little afraid to push him too far. I’ve told him it’s over, before, but this time I’m going to have to put forth a threat of some kind. After last night, I don’t want any more run ins with him. And, thanks Paige, but I’m going to stop by his club so we will be around other people.”
“That’s probably a good idea,” Paige agreed.
“Well, I’ll let you guys know how things go, but we’d better get to work. I’m probably already in trouble for being late,” Kyleigh said as she took off down the hall towards the nurse’s station.
Chapter 16
Falling Apart
The rancid taste in his mouth made him feel like hurling again, but he fought back the urge, and tilted back a bottle of cold water, hoping to wash away the aftermath of his twenty-minute vomiting spree. It had been a rough night since Kyleigh had left him, and now he was paying for it again this morning. He looked at his watch, realizing it was actually the afternoon now. He’d passed out on the cold concrete floor in his garage at some point last night, dangerously past just drunk. He didn’t know how much Vodka he had consumed again last night, but he was pretty sure he had a new record now.
He leaned his head back against the bathroom wall, almost certain he was in the clear of any more vomiting, and looked at the new hole in the door. That wasn’t the only new one that had appeared at some point in the past days. There was also one in the living room and kitchen. He’d seen them this morning, when he’d stumbled into the house to get a bottle of water, but didn’t have time to check for any more, because before he knew it, he was running to the bathroom, and he hadn’t left yet.
He brought his legs up underneath him, gripped the toilet and lifted himself up into a standing position. The room rocked back and forth before him, but that only lasted for a few minutes before finally subsiding enough to where he felt like he could make it to the living room.
Walking down the hall, he felt like death reincarnated, and knew he probably looked like it, too. Everything on him hurt. He felt drained of life itself and had the urge to open another bottle, just so he could block out how he felt now. But then Kyleigh’s face appeared in his mind, making him want to pour all the alcohol down the drain. He couldn’t piece together much in the past day since Kyleigh walked out on him, it all seemed like a blur. The memory of seeing the disappointment on her face hurt worse than his hangover, and he couldn’t believe he let himself fall victim to his guilt again. Maybe if he had talked to Kyleigh about what was going on with him, he wouldn’t have felt the need to drink, and she wouldn’t have left him. He looked at his phone lying on the coffee table, wanting to call her, but not sure if he could handle hearing the hurt and anger in her voice again. He wasn’t even sure she’d talk to him.
He picked his phone up and saw several missed calls from his mom and from Roger’s cell. Confusion shadowed his face as he stared down at the numbers, wondering why Roger would have called him so many times from his cell phone, considering he was the last person his step-dad would want to talk to, unless there was some kind of emergency. The phone call with his mom came to mind and he was suddenly worried about something other than Kyleigh. He thought back to their conversation and couldn’t remember her saying anything out of the ordinary. Of course, he knew the conversation with his mom wasn’t by any means normal, but for her, it had become a normal conversation over the last few months.
Chewing nervously on his lip, he hit Roger’s number and waited for him to pick up.
“Hello,” a worn out voice uttered on the other end. It sounded distant and distracted, nothing like the loud, arrogant voice he usually displayed.
“Roger, it’s David. You call last night?”
“Yeah, I was just getting ready to call you again. Look, I’m here with your mom at the hospital. Evidently she tried killing herself last night by taking a bunch of pills of some sort,” Roger said.
David heard him take a deep breath, heard the beeping of machines in the background, and felt desperation take hold of him. He couldn’t have heard him right, there was no way.
“Shit, you’re fucking kidding, right?” David yelled. He needed to know that his mom was okay. He should have been there last night when Roger had called. Instead, he was drinking away his guilt as his mom tried to end her life. He shot to his feet, the need to get to the hospital overpowering him, but his balance was off and he swayed again, his head still pounding from all the alcohol he’d consumed last night.
“No, I’m not, David. You need to get your ass here now,” Roger said.
“Is she okay now?” David asked as he began searching for his keys that were hidden somewhere under all the papers on the counter. Falling apart. Everything and everyone around him was falling apart and he was doing nothing to make things better. If anything, he was causing more issues than he was fixing. Every problem seemed to revolve around alcohol and he still found himself not able to quit drinking. He didn’t know what it was going to take for him to stop. His brother dying didn’t make him stop. Kyleigh telling him she’d leave him didn’t stop him either, and after she’d actually left him, he drank even more than ever. Now, his mother had almost died, and he was damned if he was going to keep letting the one thing responsible for all this back into his life. Things needed to change. He needed to change for everything to start coming back together.
“She’s doing a little better, not much, but where were you last night when I tried calling? She’s been in here since midnight last night and it’s now three o’ clock in the afternoon,” Roger remarked, letting the irritation flow freely in his tone.
“Look, I’m on my way now. I didn’t hear the phone ringing last night, I was working, so get off my ass, man,” David snapped back, clutching the keys he’d found stashed under a pile of mail.
“Yeah, well, your mom needs you. We’re at Anderson Hospital, room 405,” Roger said before hanging up.
David slid his phone into his pocket, putting the room number on repeat in his foggy mind so he wouldn’t forget by the time he got there. He didn’t want to waste any more time getting to his mom’s room.
He wasn’t sure how he got to the hospital without getting pulled over, because he sped the entire time. Luckily, there were no cops in sight, because if he had been pulled over, he wasn’t sure he would pass a Breathalyzer from all the liquor he knew was still flowing in his blood. But, luck was in his favor for once, and he made it to the hospital in record time.
The sun beat down on him as he raced up the steps, and as his adrenaline soared, it only made his head pound even more, despite all the Tylenol he’d taken. As he stepped inside the hospital, the cool air blasted against his skin, feeling like he’d just stepped into a walk-in freezer. He saw the elevator towards the end of the hall, and quickly made his way there. The door dinged open, and he stepped in, between a lady in a wheelchair and an older man who looked to be in his seventies.
The elevator finally stopped on his floor, and as the door opened, he scurried out, turning to his right and heading down the hall. He found room 405 to his left, and he peeked inside, just to be sure his mom was still in there. As he looked around the corner, he saw her lying on the bed, tubes coming out of her arms. Roger was sitting next to her, a magazine in his hands.
The sound of his boots on the tiled floor got his mom’s and Roger’s attention, and as he entered the room, they both looked up. He smiled at his mom, feeling his heart sink at seeing her look so weak. He was surprised she was awake, but as he got a closer look, he could tell she was sedated.
He sat down and took her hand in his, her cold skin taking him by surprise. He rubbed her hand in between both of his as he casually tried to warm it. Feeling Roger’s eyes on him, he lifted his eyes to take in the scruff that was covering his usually clean-shaven face, and the dark circles painted under his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept at all last night, and David felt more guilt strike him. He nodded once, and then returned his attention to his mother, who had gone back to sleep.
Even though David had his issues with his step-dad, he respected him for being here with his mom all night and taking care of her. Roger had always made everything he did for their family seem more like a job, than anything else. Now that he was older, they shared more of a tolerance for each other, and David saw the knowing look in his eyes as Roger noticed the hangover that was written all over his face.
“Hey, mom,” he whispered into her ear, hoping she’d hear him and wake up, there were a lot of questions he wanted to ask her. He still couldn’t believe she had tried to do something like this; it was just so unreal.