by London Casey
We hugged. He smelled of cologne that probably cost more than my electric bill.
“How are you?” I asked him.
“Good. This is…”
“It is what it is, Harrison. Does it really shock you?”
“You know, I remember one time she went after Dirty Sherry. Remember her?”
“Yeah. Who doesn’t?”
“Well, Sherry told everyone I had a small… well…”
“Oh,” I said.
“It’s not,” Harrison said. “I mean, I’ve been told it’s not. Anyway, you know how shit went through school.”
“I know.”
“I was getting up the nerve to ask out Megan. Megan H.. Damn, she was hot in high school.”
“Now she has three kids from two guys. And her new boyfriend takes care of all three kids because she took off with the first guy.”
“Oh, damn,” Harrison said. “Wow.”
“See, you should have stayed here. You could have had your chance.”
Harrison smirked. “I think me and this town are best off as old acquaintances.”
“Yeah. Right. Sorry, you were saying…”
“So, I walked up to Megan. And before I could open my mouth, here comes Dirty Sherry. She lifts her pointer and thumb. Holds them out, spaced apart, and then slowly brings them together. Then she shakes her head and says, ‘Sorry, I think Megan might choke on something that small…’.”
“What a bitch,” I said.
“Well, out of nowhere comes Anna. She grabbed Sherry by the head and just…” Harrison shook his head. “She slammed her face off the wall so hard Sherry ended up with a scar on her face. I’ll never forget that sound. Then Anna pointed at Megan and the others and said my… you know… was big. She took my hand and walked me away.”
“Yeah, I remember that. She almost got kicked out of school. That was hell.”
“She was something else, Adena.”
“Yeah, she was.”
“I just thought I’d share that.”
“Because that’s what you do, right? When someone dies. You sift through the debris of their life and find the good.”
Harrison swallowed hard. “Okay. If you want the truth, your sister was a manipulative whore. She was part of the reason I left town. But I’m happy now. I have everything I could ever ask for. Coming back here for this funeral just proves why I left and I’m glad I left.”
“That’s much better,” I said. “I’m going to go drink more now, Harrison. If I ever need a lawyer, I’ll call you.”
“Hey. If anything comes up from what happened to Anna… legally…”
“Okay.”
We hugged and I sought out my favorite corner on the back porch. I sat in a chair and slowly brought my legs up and hugged myself. It was just me, a bottle, and people. Riley brought me a hoodie which was a total relief to have.
I sat there and waited. And watched.
And waited. And watched.
There were people talking. Laughing. Sharing stories. Old, new, good, bad. And I just sat there. Years running through my mind. Playing really fast, too. All the times Anna walked up to death and gave it the finger. All the times she should have been dead yet made it through. In some sick way I started to think she was invincible.
Then something else got to me.
The gathering. Party. The event.
This was what I dreamed of in life. I was never cool enough to go to parties so I wanted to create parties. I used everything Aunt Beth secretly left to me to make that happen. And Anna took it away. She took everything away.
The back door opened and I perked up. But it was just Scott. Each time the door opened, I looked with my heart in my throat. Waiting… watching…
But he never showed up.
Which shouldn’t have been a big surprise.
Anna had already taken him from me a long time ago.
Chapter Eleven
(A Crowded Past)
NOW
(Evan)
I stood on the front porch for a few seconds and looked around. Toward the end railing where I’d hide against the side of the house and smoke. I’d stand there and wait for Anna to sneak out of the house. The back had been overgrown when I first met Anna and Adena but then someone who bought the empty lot had it all cut down. That gave Anna a really easy escape route. And I didn’t have to stand against the house and smell garbage.
I couldn’t help myself as I walked to the end of the porch and leaned over to see. There were trashcans there but no longer were they the bent metal ones. These ones were black, plastic, tall, and on wheels.
“Hey, what are you looking for?”
I turned and found Ashley standing there. I had caught sight of her at the funeral but she was on the other side of the casket, with Adena.
“Ash,” I said. “Look at you.”
She wasted no time in throwing her arms around me. She had always been a hugger. And she would hug you until you hugged her back.
I put my right hand to her back and pulled a little.
“Good to see you,” I said. “I’m sorry for the circumstances.”
“She’s inside somewhere,” Ashley said. “Adena, I mean. I’m sure she’d love to see you.”
“Yeah. I’m going to make my rounds before I head back.”
“Head back?”
“I drove down for the funeral,” I said.
“We’re having a little party,” Ashley said. “Might do everyone some good.”
“You don’t think it’s a little fucked up to have people drinking and driving considering what just happened?”
Ashley shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t make the rules. I’m just here. How are you, Evan?”
“I’m wonderful, Ash. How are you?”
“The same.”
“Still working at that gift wrap place?”
“It’s not a gift wrap place,” she said. She shoved at me. “You’re such a dick.”
“What? It’s a gift wrap place. It’s got presents in the window.”
“Evan,” someone called out. It was an old buddy, Bobby, as he hurried up to the porch. Wearing a shirt I swore he had in high school, with jeans that had massive holes in the knees.
“Bobby,” I said. “Holy shit, brother.”
We bumped fists and hugged.
“What a fucked up day,” Bobby said.
“Yeah,” I said. “How are you, man?”
“Good.”
“Bobby’s an EMT,” Ashley said. She then leaned toward me and whispered, “He was there…”
“Oh, fuck,” I said.
Bobby nodded. “I couldn’t go to the funeral today. After what I saw… ah, shit. I just wanted to swing by and grab a drink. See Adena. Heard you were in town.”
“Just for today,” I said. I had said that about eighty times so far. As though I was trying to convince myself there was no fucking way in hell I would sleep in this town, even for one night.
“Shit,” Bobby said. “Okay. Well I have to work the midnight shift tonight. But I needed to swing by. It was good to see you, man. Hopefully we can hook up again soon.”
“Yeah, that would be great,” I said.
Bobby turned and went inside the house.
“You’re such a fucking liar,” Ashley said.
“What?”
“You’re not going to hook up again soon with anyone here.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“You left and left it all behind, Evan. Everyone knows that. You’re like a ghost walking around here.”
“Maybe I am, Ash. But I have good reason.”
“You think we all don’t know what that reason is?”
I slipped my hands into my pockets. I took a few steps back. I didn’t come here to kick up old shit from years ago.
“I’m sorry,” Ashley said. “It’s a weird day. We all miss you, Evan. Maybe now that she’s gone now you could be around more.”
“Don’t count on it,” I said. “Life moves for
ward.”
“Except me. And most of this town. I’m still wrapping presents.”
“See, told you,” I said with a grin.
Ashley threw me the middle finger. “For the record, we sell luxury goods. And since I showed Tina how to do business online, it’s been booming. She finally divorced Rick after catching him cheating and she gave me half the business.”
“That’s awesome, Ash,” I said. “You look fantastic too. I’m serious.”
“You’re not getting in my pants, Evan.”
I stepped toward her. I didn’t stop until there was an inch between us. “Oh, Ash, you’re cute. You and I both know if that’s what I wanted…” I winked at her.
Her cheeks flushed.
“Stop,” she said. “We’re not in high school.”
“I know. Imagine what could happen now.”
Ashley laughed. “Still think you got it, huh?”
“I know I do,” I said. “It’s really good to see you again.”
I opened the door to the house and it was very familiar. The house. The people. The party scene.
No matter where I walked someone grabbed my arm. All I wanted to do was find Adena. I got cornered by Chloe for a crying hug. Ella and Leah wanted to talk about the time I got drunk and was dared to run naked down the street. The night I ended up running right by a cop car and didn’t realize it. So I had to pretend I was being attacked by bees. I told the cop I stripped naked to get them off my clothes. He parked his car in the middle of the street, put his lights on, and made me walk back down the street for everyone to see. Not that I had anything to hide or be ashamed of.
Each person I ran into I asked them where Adena was. She was nowhere to be found. By the time I worked my way to the back door, I started to get nervous. Out of everyone in that damn house I wasn’t sure anyone but me understood what Adena fully went through. And even then I was sure I didn’t have the complete story. Adena was forever forgotten and overshadowed because she was good. That was maybe the worst part of her life. Adena was good and was known for being so. Which meant if she went out, Beth knew she’d come home five minutes before curfew. If there was a big test, everyone knew Adena would study and do her best. Yet if Anna came home an hour after curfew, that was considered a blessing because at least she came home. And if Anna passed a class without a meeting with the teacher and the guidance counselor, you would have sworn she discovered a new planet or something.
I opened the door to the back porch and stepped out.
It was almost dark and half the people that stopped by were gone. This wasn’t some well thought out catered affair. That’s not how things went in this town. If you wanted a drink, you brought a drink. If you got hungry, you ordered a pizza and had it delivered.
Andy and Riley were sitting at an old table in rusted chairs. The table had a hole in the middle for an umbrella but there was no umbrella there.
“Brother man,” Andy said, his words slurring. “Come sit, have a drink.”
“No,” I said. “You better not be driving.”
“I got him,” Riley said. She then lifted a can of soda. “I’m DD tonight. I brought my SUV for a reason. I can fit five legally. Ten illegally. But I figure if I get pulled over, it’s better than having these morons drive, right?”
“Good call,” I said. “How are you, Riley?”
“Just dandy,” she said. “Walking a fucking tightrope all day and my feet are tired.”
“Come walk this way, babe,” Andy said.
“Oh, please,” Riley said. “You had your chance. And you couldn’t get it up.”
I laughed.
“Hey, fuck you,” Andy spat at me. Then he looked at Riley. “That was years ago. People were in the room. We were in the closet. You were… aggressive…”
“I knew what I wanted then,” Riley said.
Andy looked at me. “Help me out, man.”
“I can’t help here,” I said. “If Riley came at me… I’d know what to do.”
“Fuck you again,” Andy said. “Fuck both of you.”
Andy pushed back from the table. The rusted chair groaned and tipped over. Andy stood and turned, losing his balance and fell right toward the railing. He caught himself and leaned over it, swaying back and forth like the last loose leaf in an autumn breeze.
“You okay with him?” I asked Riley.
“I’m fine,” she said. “It’s all the same, Evan. I’m going to start rounding them up. It’s been a long day.”
“Yeah. I probably should start heading back myself.”
Riley stood up. “Well, it’s been a fun chat.”
I always liked Riley. She was fierce and bold. Forever picked on for being a tom boy, but she was the first girl to look like a woman, if you know what I mean. So she was able to pull off this stunning womanly figure but had the athletic ability of a guy. Nobody could ever tame her.
Plus, she didn’t take bullshit from anyone and wasn’t afraid to call anyone out.
She took one step away and I reached for her hand. “Riley. Hey. Listen…”
“What?” she asked.
“I’ve been here for over an hour and haven’t seen Adena…”
“You only got here an hour ago?”
“Well, Mike wanted to stop over at Donkey’s.”
Riley snorted. “That fucking dive.”
“He’s been down about his old man.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s sad.”
“Where is Adena?” I asked. “I wanted to see her before I left.”
“You’re shit out of luck, Evan.”
“Why?”
Riley threw her head to the left.
I looked and saw someone in a chair in the corner of the porch. Curled up in a chair with the hood of a hoodie pulled over their face.
“Seriously?” I asked.
“She hit the bottle hard and passed out,” Riley said. “Probably for the better. Hey, listen, I’m going to wrangle up these drunk assholes. Do me a favor and carry her to her bed. You know, before you leave.”
I looked at Riley and she grinned like a smart ass.
She knew… and I knew… I wasn’t leaving tonight.
Chapter Twelve
(Dressing Room Confession)
YEARS AGO
(Adena)
I had to wait for Anna to leave the house. There was no way I could get the money out of the house without her seeing it, smelling it, sensing it. When Aunt Beth got paid she would rush her check to the bank. And if the bank was closed, she would leave the check at work. Money was the pathway to what Anna really wanted in life.
So when I had my chance, I grabbed the shoebox, gathered up all the cash, and stuffed it into my bag. Downstairs I asked Aunt Beth if I could borrow the car to hit the mall. She sat on the couch, reading a mystery novel, and peered at me over her glasses. She knew I would never cause trouble but I still got those motherly eyes when I asked for something.
“You know where the keys are,” she said. “Be back by eight. I’m making a meatloaf. If you eat there, no worries, I can take it for lunch tomorrow.”
“Thanks!” I called out as I ran to the kitchen.
I opened the junk drawer and got the keys. I went out the back door and hurried across the porch and jumped down. I moved through the side yard and felt as though I had just robbed a bank.
When I got into the car, I called Riley.
I swung by her house and picked her up.
Then we were off to the mall.
Riley was seriously so pretty. Without any makeup or anything. She just let her body do its thing. And she had this perma-tan thing going on that made all of us jealous. And she was so bold and unafraid. She once fought a boy and won the fight.
“What are we doing here?” she asked me. “I hate this place.”
“Listen. I’ve been saving money. I want a dress. I need your advice.”
“A dress? You? For what?”
“The dance.”
“You’re going to…”
“Please, Riley. Don’t ask questions. Don’t judge me.”
“Okay. Fine. You got it.”
“I thought you were going too,” I said as we walked toward the store.
“I am,” she said. “I’m going with Andy. I like him. A lot.”
“That’s good. Are you two going out?”
“I don’t know.”
“Oh.”
“I mean, we hang out a lot,” Riley said. “He doesn’t look at me like other boys do. You know? He’s not afraid of me. And he doesn’t try to look down my shirt all the time. Plus, he hangs out with Evan. I think everyone wants Evan, you know? I mean, I would totally… doesn’t matter. I already got my dress for the dance. All black.”
“Oh, that’s a shock,” I said.
“Shut up. I don’t do the dress up thing. My mother is all excited. My dad is so pissed because there’s cleavage. I can’t help that. I swear, he still thinks I’m a boy.”
“Maybe they should have another baby,” I said.
“Ew, no. I don’t want a baby brother, or sister. Plus, I think my mother had her tubes tied.”
“Gross,” I said.
I had this picture of a doctor cutting open Riley’s mom’s belly and tying a knot in body parts that always made us laugh in health class. I really didn’t understand everything about all that stuff but I knew that when I got this dress and got Evan’s attention, he and I would go to the dance together and that night…
“There it is,” I said as we stopped at the window.
“Wow,” Riley said. “That’s really pretty. I mean, for you.”
“You think?”
“Yeah. It’s almost like a wedding dress.”
“With a little bit of purple in it,” I whispered. “Come on. I want to try it on. And buy it.”
I had the dress on in the dressing room. I was alone. I slowly turned to face myself in the full length mirror. For the first time in as long as I could remember I felt beautiful. The dress was perfect. It rested on my shoulders perfectly. My chest actually filled it out. Ohmygod, I have a chest! I bit my lip and wanted to scream for happiness.
I lifted at the dress and turned, throwing my hair and throwing the dress. I put my hand out and pictured Evan standing there in a black suit. His hands were always roughed up but in a good way. He worked a lot. Like real work, too. He worked with Andy at the garage, fixing cars and stuff. How cool was that? Some guys had jobs at stores or washed dishes at restaurants. But not Evan. He sometimes even got up super early, at like five in the morning, and went to work at the garage. Then he’d go to school and go back to the garage.