More than Scars

by Brocious, Sarah

  His honest face beamed. “As do I Miss! I believe you will make a nice fit!” He started for the door.

  “I’ll see you down,” Al spoke up.

  I opened my mouth to protest, and then shut it just as quickly. I only mouthed the word behave to him, and hoped that it was enough!

  I slumped down in my recliner, and tossed my coat over the back.

  My Mom sat on the couch just across from me. “Are you okay Riss?”

  I gave her a small smile. “Yes.”

  “It’s hitting you…isn’t it?”

  I nodded and closed my eyes, laying my head back. “Change is always difficult.”

  “I know you like your little cocoon here Nerissa. You feel safe. You will feel safe again. I worry too much over you, which is why I get so fussy. But do not listen to my words. If you have a good feeling about this, do not allow Alonso and me to sway you!”

  I lifted my hand to toy with my necklace. The last gift I had been given from my father on my sixteenth birthday. The night we had gone to dinner to celebrate, just father daughter. We had decided to walk home that night. It had been snowing, but the night was so crisp, the stars shining, and home was only three blocks away. I shook my head to clear the direction of my thoughts.

  “I do feel good about this. It’s needed.”

  She smiled at me. “I am proud of you my girl. You’ve been through a lot in your life. And you haven’t allowed it to stunt who you are, or take you down.”

  I knew she spoke of my father…my cancer fight, and she was right. I was taking a scary new step. And I would do it without fear!

  Chapter 3 First Day

  I arrived early.

  It was seven o’clock when I pulled up to the front gate. I showed the guard my id and he opened the gate with a pleasant, “Have a nice day!”

  I parked my car where Stewart had shown me my assigned spot. I was surprised when a gentleman approached me as I got out.

  “Mr. Byrne says your car is to be taken to the garage, so as not to get damaged.”

  I blinked. Who would damage my little Chevy Cobalt? I shrugged and handed him the keys. I pulled my overnight pack over my shoulder, starting for the back of the house. There was an entrance I had been shown. We were not to enter through the front. That was for guests only.

  I punched in a code that I had to read from a notecard Stewart had given me. My fingers shook a bit as I did so. As I entered, I was hit with the delicious smell of coffee. This door leads straight to the kitchens. A kitchen that was already busy.

  “Miss Meadows!” An older woman with greying blonde hair, and a maid’s uniform, complete with frilly apron greeted me. She offered a smile. “You’re here! Stewart felt you would arrive early. He’ll be down in a bit to take Mr. Byrne’s breakfast up. You will join the children for breakfast down here.”

  I smiled, shrugging out of my coat. I set it and my purse on a nearby chair. “Anything I can help you with?”

  She peeked over her shoulder, as she prepared eggs at the stove. “You have your job, I have mine dear.” She smiled, and her blue eyes crinkled at their corners.

  “I really don’t mind.”

  She chuckled. “Fill that mug there with coffee. One sugar, and milk, stirred up well. That’s how the boss likes his coffee! Set it on that tray.” She indicated this with a tilt of her chin.

  I’d never been more nervous about making coffee. I hurried to comply, wanting to make a good impression. “And what is your name? I didn’t meet you on my first tour,” I spoke up.

  “I was visiting family that week. I sure heard a lot about you,” she teased.

  I smiled. “Glad I made a good impression.” I made my way to the sink to wash my hands.

  “Stewart just loves you! That’s a good thing. He can be hard to please.” She cast a glance over her shoulder, as if she might have spoken those words only to get caught. “Not in a bad way. He just likes excellence, expects it for this household. Which is why he is in the position he’s in.”

  I carefully stirred milk into Mr. Byrne’s coffee. “And your name is?” I teased, since she hadn’t answered my question.

  “Oh, gracious,” she laughed. “Mary! Mary Bell. There are usually more hands here that I could introduce to you. There is Janice, who is sick and a bed right now. Laura’s vacation week, and the younger ladies that help me will be arriving around lunch time to give a hand in the kitchen. Mornings are usually less chaotic here. I cook for the family, no more. Most of the servants stay in their rooms and have breakfast. Lunch and dinner is another story.”

  I smiled at the chatty woman. “Nice to meet you Mary Bell!”

  She approached the counter with the pan of eggs, sliding two sunny side up eggs onto the plate on the tray.

  I reached for the bacon setting on a plate on top of a paper towel, so it could drain. “How many?”

  “Three strips,” she chirped, turning to the toaster. She placed six slices of wheat into their slots and pushed down. “He’d like more, but we have to keep him healthy.” She gave me a wink. “He’s definitely a carnivore. I hope you aren’t a vegetarian!”

  I laughed, shaking my head, and arranged the strips neatly on the plate.

  She turned back toward the stove. “Do you like scrambled? Over easy? Sunny side?”

  “Whatever is easier,” I assured her.

  She raised a brow. “That is not an answer.”

  I really didn’t want to be a bother. “What do the girls like?”

  “Scrambled.”

  “Then scrambled it is.”

  “If you’d like some juice there’s some right there on the island. Small glasses are in the cabinet beside the sink.” She got busy whipping up some eggs.

  “Mr. Byrne drinks juice?”

  She nodded, giving me a small smile. “I really can do this all myself Miss.”

  My hand stilled, as I reached for the juice. “I’m sorry! Am I making you uncomfortable with my help? I always just…my mom always taught me to give a hand. But this is your job, and you must think…”

  “No,” Mary laughed. “I’m just surprised. I’m not use to anyone offering. Everyone here sticks to their jobs. I don’t want you thinking you have to help me.”

  “I want to,” I corrected, giving her a smile. I poured four glasses of juice. One I set on Liam Byrne’s tray.

  “Thank you Miss,” Mary said softly. “I can see why Stewart raves over you. You have a kind heart. Those little girls will benefit from you being here.”

  “The boss will too.”

  I spun about to find Stewart observing us. “Good morning!” I greeted.

  Stewart smiled. His kind face always transformed when he did. “I see you are stepping right in. You do not have to help with breakfast Miss.”

  “That’s what I told her,” Mary chirped, pouring eggs into another skillet.

  “I like helping,” I assured him, then thought better. “That is, if it’s okay?”

  He gave a nod, so I went for the toast that had just popped up.

  “Butter there,” Mary said without even looking up. “Light on the Boss’”

  Stewart chuckled. “You worry too much over him Mary! He’s as healthy as they come!”

  “Because I feed him right!”

  Stewart examined the tray, nodding as I set two slices of toast beside the eggs.

  I bit my lip, as he began to carry the tray away. “Stewart? Is there any way I could maybe speak to Mr. Byrne today? I know I have the phone, but he said in emergencies, and I really don’t want to say to him what I want via text.”

  Stewart looked to me with surprise, and then with pleasure. “Well, you prepared his tray. I don’t see why you can’t deliver it. Breakfast is his only free time today. He’s booked with conference calls until this evening.” He hesitated for a moment. “Let me call up to him first.” He set the tray down, and left the room.

  I wondered if Liam Byrne hid his face from his long time butler and right hand man. Probably not. Stewart
seemed like a man to be trusted.

  I looked nervously to Mary, whose eyes were wide with surprise.

  “What?” My heart was racing.

  “I just…it’s just…well, all the years I’ve worked here the only one to take Mr. Byrne his meals has been…Stewart.” She smiled. “Guess he knows what he’s doing.”

  I felt a flutter in my stomach. I really hoped I didn’t mess up the favor I was already earning.

  Stewart returned, reaching for the tray.” I will carry to the office. Mr. Byrne has agreed to see you.”

  I nodded, drawing in a deep breath. I gave Mary a small smile, as I followed Stewart out.

  When we got to the door of the office, Stewart turned his kind face to me. “You can take it from here?” He handed me the tray when I nodded. He then knocked for me, and opened the door. He offered another of his smiles.

  I bit down hard on my lip and stepped through the door.

  “Miss Meadows,” the warm baritone greeted. The voice was most pleasing to the ears.

  I heard the door close behind me, and carefully made my way to the desk. “Good morning,” I said softly, and set the tray before him, not lifting my gaze from the eggs. In my line of sight I saw the dark blue suit, the red tie, then the scarred hand, as he first reached for the coffee. I backed away, and made for the chair I had occupied during my interview.

  “Thank you,” he said softly. “Stewart said you prepared my meal?” There was humor in his voice. “Perhaps I hired you into the wrong position!”

  I smiled at my hands. “I only helped with the coffee…Mary did all the cooking.”

  “Good job on the coffee.” He set the cup back down. “Do you mind if I eat? I only have a few minutes free.”

  I shook my head. “I only have something I wanted to tell you. I…I feel really bad about it, and if I don’t tell you, it will always be over my head, and I want to be completely honest with you.”

  He cleared his throat. “Confessions usually are better before you hire your employee.”

  I bit down on my lip again. “Well, this happened after you hired me.”

  “You met someone and you’re running away to marry him,” he teased.

  “Yes, within a week after my interview, all of that happened,” I laughed.

  “What is it then?” He tried to hide the humor in his voice.

  “My family is very protective of me. I have my mother, my brother, and they worry too much. They were very concerned about me working for you. I insisted everything was fine.” I drew in a breath, wringing my fingers.

  “I will speak to both if that will help,” he said softly. “To assure them.”

  I saw him reach for his juice.

  “I appreciate that, but they are okay now. They kind of took it into their own hands for assurance. You see, my brother is a policeman.” I wanted to crawl under my chair. “And he kind of sort of…ran a background check on you.”

  Liam coughed, as his juice went down the wrong way. “A…a background check?”

  I sighed. ‘I’m sorry. They never should have.”

  He chuckled at this, clearing the cough from his throat. “It’s okay Miss Meadows. I respect what they did. I may have done the same thing.”

  I let out a relieved breath.

  “In fact I did.”

  I nearly whipped my head up to look at him. “What do you mean?”

  “I did the same thing. On you, on your Mom, and your brother. I do for all of my employees. I can’t just have anyone working for me, being in the lives of my children. Your brother did that check, so you know we have been through a lot.”

  I shook my head. “He gave me basics, but would not let me know specifics of what happened to you.”

  “Why not?”

  “He felt it was your place to tell me if you chose. And if you did that check on me, you would know I’ve been through a lot, and he was sheltering me.”

  He was quiet for a moment. Then I heard him inhale deeply. “I’m sorry that you went through what you did. And I respect your brother for protecting you. I may one day tell you what happened to me. It is quite similar. It’s not something I share with many.”

  I nodded. I would get no deep answers today, but there was the possibility of the future. My eyes lifted to the tray. The scarred hands were clenched on the edge of the desk, as though he struggled. This was a lot for him. “Can I ask one thing?”

  “One,” he agreed. His voice sounded thick.

  “How long ago was it? That you lost your wife?”

  Again silence. “You don’t have to say. I’m sorry if I’ve over stepped…”

  “Two years,” he whispered.

  I bit the inside of my cheek, stopping the flow of words. His soft spoken words were not spoken without struggle. I nodded. “I knew it was recent.”

  “How?”

  “Brianne.”

  I saw his long fingers unclench at my words. Had he been afraid I meant he had shown weakness, and that is how I knew?

  “Yes, she still remembers her.”

  I gave him a nod. “Helping with the children…that’s an example of things I’ll need to know. I will not push you to give me more. I won’t pry into your privacy. I understand what it’s like to go through a trauma, and everyone wants to know every detail. When really...it’s none of their business. But if there is anything you think I should know….”

  “Thank you Miss Meadows.” His voice was low. “I will.”

  I pressed my lips together. My fingers clenched reflexively at my knees, and I blew out a slow breath to calm myself.

  “Do I make you nervous?”

  I shook my head and smiled.

  “Good. I would really hate if I did,” he sighed.

  “I make myself nervous,” I blurted.

  I heard a smile in his voice. “You make yourself nervous? How?”

  “I really want to respect your wishes. I just am scared I will slip and look at you. It’s strange not being able to put a face to the voice. A very pleasant voice mind you. I understand why you don’t want anyone to look at you. Well partly….” I blushed, and my tongue ran away with me again. “If I had a face like yours I would be upset if someone scarred it too. I just can’t see how….”

  “A face like mine? What is that supposed to mean?”

  I felt a chill at the anger in his voice. It was still low and gentle, which made it all the more scary.

  “Miss Meadows, I asked you a question.”

  I swallowed. “I’m sorry, I spoke out of turn. It came out wrong. I meant to say, I’ve seen your picture, before the incident. And I don’t see how anything could make a face like yours ugly.” My sentence ended with a quiver. I wanted to tape my mouth closed permanently.

  He exhaled audibly. “So you’ve seen the before?”

  I was still painfully blushing.

  “And what did you think if I may be so vain?”

  “Mr. Byrne, you are my boss, I don’t think it’s proper.”

  “I’m giving you permission to speak freely.” He shifted in his seat, leaning in. My eyes remained on the hands folded before him. The breakfast remained untouched.

  “Honestly?”

  “You said you want to be honest with me, so yes.”

  My stomach had butterflies; honest to goodness butterflies trying to escape. “Flawless.” My tongue would not offer more. Of all the times it wanted to fail me! Why had I said THAT? Why couldn’t I have said attractive, or handsome? I had to say flawless? Flawless?

  His chuckle was laced with bitterness. I could sense it. “It’s not such a flawless face now. If you want to continue thinking of me that way, imagining that face you saw in the picture, you can.”

  My heart beat against my ribs. “I’d much rather know you by who you really are.”

  “You would be disappointed,” he whispered.

  “I’ve never put much stock in looks,” I argued.

  “Yet you called me flawless…your cheeks warmed….you turned into a little
school girl over a picture.”

  “Never said I couldn’t appreciate physical beauty. I just don’t put everything into it.” I felt a full on blush now. Yes, okay, his kind of handsome could do that to me. Dark hair, deep brown eyes, which was kind of my type.

  “I don’t have physical beauty anymore Miss Meadows, appreciate that.”

  I swallowed hard. “I’m so sorry,” I said softly. “I didn’t mean to sound….”

  “It was your turn. I said something completely inappropriate when I first meet you. You started your first day doing so. We’re even.” He pulled in a breath. “It’s okay. This will not be the first time this subject comes up. I am sure of that.” The humor was back in his voice.

  I peeked at the red tie, as his hands moved to straighten it. They truly were nice hands, even with the scars. My theory of nothing being able to mar a face like his cropped up in my mind. I still couldn’t believe I had said it out loud.

  The phone at his desk rang. He picked it up right away. “Hold the call for a few minutes Ian,” he spoke with authority. “Yes, I said hold.” A pause. “I am in the middle of something right now….No, it cannot be cut short.” He growled in his chest. “I’m sorry I thought that this was my business…” His fingers thrummed angrily against the wood of the desk. ”Then you will hold for a few minutes Ian.”

  I liked the ring to his I’m the boss tone. It was powerful. So different from the gentle tone he had just been using with me. I also felt my tummy curl because he was setting aside an important call to finish up with me. Boy I really was a school girl, wasn’t I?

  He hung up the phone, and sighed.

  “I really should go greet the girls,” I spoke softly, giving him an out.

  “They are slow to rise most days, you are fine.”

  My eyes drifted down the tie again…one he was straightening…again. A nervous habit of his? Did I make Liam Byrne nervous? Something about that excited me.

  “Was there anything else you needed?” His voice was its deep gentle baritone once more.

  “I wanted to thank you for the movers…for the expense card. You were truly generous.”

  He chuckled softly.

  “What?” I shifted nervously.