More than Scars

by Brocious, Sarah

  I laughed. “What?”

  He grinned.

  “Don’t try to flirt with me Ian Byrne. I got a taste of the nice guy yesterday. I like him better than the playboy.”

  His blue eyes twinkled. He was playing with me. He leaned on the counter as if he belonged there. “Yeah Mary hold off a bit. He was running hard on that treadmill. Something has him really worked up. Or, someone.” He swung his gaze to me and lifted his brows suggestively. “He’s already been out on Zosenstein and he was in the gym before I even got there.”

  “He works out too hard,” Mary sighed. “I’m going to have to start doubling his calories again if he keeps this up!” She shook her head.

  Ian tilted his head at me. “Mary does a good job of it too. At Liam’s size and the way he works his body…he should be a walking skeleton with zero body fat. She makes sure he gets his three meals plus several protein shakes and snacks all through the day. She’s been doing it for years. He would never think to do it for himself.”

  I thought of the sheer size of Liam…the width of his body, the breadth of his shoulders. He certainly wasn’t emaciated, and I felt thankful that he had Mary watching over him. “I wish he would care for himself,” I said softly.

  Ian nodded, moving to the fridge and pulling out a gallon of milk. “He’s too busy caring about others…and his business. It’s always been that way.” He pulled open a cubbard and pulled out a container of protein drink to mix his own. He chuckled when Mary pushed him aside to do the job. He sauntered back over to me, pushing his damp hair from his eyes.

  “So I heard you came up with an idea for meeting the clients? I absolutely love it! Where did you come from Nerissa Meadows? Smart, pretty, good with children, wild horses…my brother, and now a party planner?”

  I blushed. “I am not a planner. I just had an idea. He can take it from there and do with it what he will!”

  He leaned back and took the glass Mary handed him, drinking down half of it in one long gulp. He lifted the bottom of his tee to wipe his mouth, giving a very nice view of his stomach. I glanced away flushing. Mary slapped his hand and handed him a napkin. Laura stared without shame.

  “You are meeting with him this morning?”

  I nodded, turning back to him. “As soon as the girls are in lessons.”

  He finished his drink and thankfully used his napkin. I was not attracted to Ian in that way but I certainly was a woman! I couldn’t take anymore peep shows. “Which lessons?”

  “Piano today.”

  He snorted. “Liam should be teaching them the piano. No tutor could teach as well. Have you heard him play yet?”

  I shook my head. Sadly I had not yet had the pleasure.

  “I would sit there for hours to learn a piece he could learn in ten minutes when we were kids! I finally gave up when I found sports were my thing! Then we found out sports were his thing too!” He grinned. “And business…Liam was born to succeed.” He shrugged. He seemed more proud than jealous of his brother. “Anyway…yeah, he wouldn’t just teach them how to play…he could teach them to love it…especially if they are half as good as he is!”

  My smile couldn’t be helped. “Brianne is marvelous! Amelia struggles, but she is still young!”

  He nodded and then leaned in as if to tell me a secret. “Well then my Mom lied to me.”

  I laughed and shook my head at him.

  “It’s not in the eyes.” He pointed to his splendidly blue eyes. “She assured me the reason Liam played better than I did was because his eyes were brown and those with brown eyes had music inside them…but those with blue had a different gift.” He gave a shrug and a grin. “Brianne’s are just as blue as mine and Amelia’s are as chocolate as Liam’s.”

  I shook my head at him again. “She was saving your feelings Ian.”

  He placed a hand over his heart. “I am broken.”

  I pushed him aside and got to my feet. “I should go get the girls for breakfast! I will see you in a bit,” I called to the others.

  Ian was quickly with me. “Let me.”

  “You go shower…you had a hard workout,” I insisted, but he followed me out the door anyway and we started up the stairs.

  Ian matched my steps on the stair. “So, Liam said you and I are to start doing things together?”

  I stopped on the stair and turned to him, tilting my head. “He said that?”

  “Yes, insisted on it. Seems to think it’s a good way to keep you happy…keep you here.” He grinned. “I know better than to be flattered,” he laughed. “What happened after I left last night? Why his sudden change of heart?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t understand.” My face must have shown my confusion.

  “He finds his confidence in his work. He is very successful…very good at what he does. He finds confidence in making others happy…his employees…his girls. For some reason he feels like you and I would be happy doing things together. That I would make you happy. Why would he think this?”

  I sighed. “I mentioned including you in an activity.” My hands clenched. “He seemed a little...a little…” I blushed.

  “Jealous?”

  I blushed. “That would be silly.”

  “And?” A dark brow raised. “What else did he say to you?”

  “He asked me not to date you.”

  Ian laughed and ran a hand through his hair. “He did now? So he thinks that was your angle?”

  My cheeks flushed. “I asked if I could be friends with you and he said that it would be okay.”

  His head shook. “Oh brother of mine.” He set his hands on his hips and his blue eyes met mine. They softened and his mouth curved in a gentle smile. “Okay…we will be friends.” He took my hand and kissed it chastely. “What are we supposed to be doing together?”

  “Things with the girls.”

  He nodded. ”Like the sound of that. What kind of things?”

  “I…I had wanted to do a bonfire…but I have an even better idea.”

  Ian’s brows rose.

  “You and I could join forces. We both have the same heart for them. We know what their future will be like if they are shut in!”

  He looked uncertain and crossed his arms before him.

  “Just lunch Ian. Let’s take them out for lunch! They will love it! They can dress up…order from the adult menu! And they would be so safe with the two of us!” I knew my voice sounded pleading, but I didn’t care.

  Ian shook his head once. “Liam would have both of our heads Rissa. We have to respect him.” He uncrossed his arms, touched my cheek with affection, and smiled. “The bonfire will be fun. How about Saturday night?”

  I frowned.

  “Come on,” he sighed. “I know where you are coming from.” His hands cupped my face. “Believe me! You have known them a short time. I have known them their whole life. We will one day get through to Liam on this. Now is just not the time. Wait until after this party. Maybe being back among the living will give him a new perspective.” He smiled a heart stopping smile.

  I turned my face, knowing I was on my own in my thoughts once more. “Okay,” I agreed.

  Ian cleared his throat. “Don’t be angry with me…we only just became friends.”

  I smiled and shook my head. “I’m not mad at you. I just don’t like the circumstance sometimes.” I shrugged.

  He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’ll go wake the girls and check on Liam. Why don’t you go finish your coffee? You were supposed to be resting today anyway. No worries today. Prepare yourself for your meeting.”

  My eyes lifted to his and I saw the genuine concern there. “Thank you Ian.”

  He winked and started a jog up the stair without another word.

  One hour later I was summoned to Liam’s office. Stewart had already been there with his breakfast moments before. I only hoped he had time to eat enough. There had also been a protein drink on the tray so that gave me comfort. I didn’t want him passing out in the middle of our meeting.


  Stewart let me in and my heart leapt in my chest as it always did when I passed through those doors. I moved to the middle of the room, head down. He was at his desk…I saw his silhouette. He was also on his phone. His tone full of authority. I liked the strength in his words, the confidence in his demands. He was at home here.

  I turned slightly to the wall to browse the wall to my left. There were photos of buildings that I had to believe belonged to the Byrnes. There were sketches also…certificates…honors. And seeming out of place, leaning against the wall was a guitar case. A smile played at my lips. So, he didn’t just favor the piano? I wondered if he ever pulled it out to play.

  For whatever reason, I forgot myself and moved to the case, touching the snaps that held it closed. There was no dust on it…so it hadn’t sat there unused.

  “Do you play?”

  I almost jumped out of my skin. My hand went to my heart and I laughed.

  Liam stood behind me now. So close I could smell the shampoo he had used in his recent shower. If I were a betting woman, I would guess his hair was still damp too. That was a very nice thought for some reason. “No, do you?”

  He laughed.

  I felt silly. “Ridiculous question. Of course you do…why would you have a guitar?”

  He cleared his throat, as if fighting another laugh. “Would you like to sit on the couch? I thought we could get some notes down…record a few ideas you might have? I won’t keep you long,” he promised.

  Wouldn’t mind being kept long…but of course I did not say this out loud. I turned about, head lowered and moved to the couch, where he had set a note pad and pen. Two glasses of water awaited us as well. I was glad. My mouth was already dry.

  He sat beside me…close enough that his scent was there again. My awareness of him was embarrassing and I prayed he didn’t know how very aware. It was little things too. He was not seducing me…I was not seducing him…I was just aware of him. His head bowed near mine as we wrote down ideas and this made me too happy. His breath brushed my cheek when we laughed over my misspelling…making me shiver. His knee touched mine as he reached over for his water and I nearly broke the pen in my hand. I was acting like a crazy person and my heart was doing funny things in my chest. It was…well, embarrassing! He had to sense it.

  My forte is not planning, so I gave him a few suggestions. The most important aspect of the whole thing was that he could still be involved without being vulnerable to everyone’s judgment of his appearance. He could interact without worry that they were looking at his scars.

  He seemed pleased with the information I gave him. And it seemed our time would be ending soon. I was relieved and I was pained by this!

  “I will contact my planner and lay this out for him. I think this will be successful Miss Meadows. I am very thankful,” he said with gentle appreciation.

  I held the notebook out to him with our outline.

  He took it from my hands, setting it on the table, and then took my hands. “You will come to this party. I want you there.”

  My heart flipped. It wasn’t just his words. It was his touch.

  “Please. It was your idea. I wouldn’t feel right being there without you.”

  I smiled. “I would love to.”

  I heard the smile in his voice. “Thank you.”

  My head bowed, I nodded. I loved how his hands continued to squeeze around mine. His thumbs brushed the pulse at my wrists and I wondered if he could feel the thrumming there.

  He cleared his throat and released me. “What are your plans for today?” His freed hands went right to his tie to straighten it.

  I cleared my own throat. “After lessons, the girls and I are picking up where we left off on a book I was reading to them. I’m going now to listen to the end of their…” I stopped and reached for his hand. I felt his fingers tremble beneath mine. “You should come listen. Brianne plays so amazingly! I was told she plays as well as you did.” I paused when I felt I had said too much.

  He grinned. “She is very good. I sit with her now and then. We have played together,” he whispered.

  My heart leapt. “She could really do something with this if she wanted. Could you imagine if she decided to compete?” I bit my lip. “Have you ever considered entering her in a competition?”

  Liam pulled his hand from mine and rose to his feet.

  I wanted to groan.

  “She gets her lessons here.”

  “And what of her future Mr. Byrne?” I asked gently. “What about when she grows up and wants to make something of herself?”

  “That would mean she would have to travel. She would have to leave the premises.”

  “Is that so bad?” I held my breath.

  “She is too young.”

  “What about when she’s older? She will not have any experience of the outside world.”

  “We will cross that bridge then,” he whispered but there was an edge in his voice.

  “When? She can’t have a crash course in reality.”

  “She is six,” he growled.

  I swallowed.

  “My daughters are not backward. They are smart and outgoing. I do not worry about their future,” he spoke calmly.

  My frown could not be helped. “How do you know they are outgoing?”

  He blew out a breath. “Look how they are with you…their tutors…the help…”

  “With adults,” I spoke pointedly.

  He turned to me and I quickly lowered my head. “What are you saying Miss Meadows?”

  My mouth was dry again. I had no more water in my glass. I glanced hopefully at his and pushed aside my pride, reached for his glass and took a sip. “They only have each other. You do not know how they will interact with other children. They need friends their own age. I have been around children long enough to know this…”

  “They are my children. I think I know best.”

  “I think you believe you are doing your best by shielding them…”

  “I am doing my best,” he suddenly shouted. “Do not think you can tell me you know what they need! I am keeping them from the pain that is outside those walls. I am keeping them alive!” His rage was palpable.

  I held back my tears. My feelings being hurt did not count in this matter. “You are keeping them from living,” I whispered. “You are keeping yourself from living.” I knew there were tears in my voice and before they appeared on my cheeks; I ran from the room.

  I did not make it far before his shout came from the room.

  “Miss Meadows! You will come back here! Now!”

  My shoulders slumped and I turned back, re-entering with trepidation. He closed the door and came up behind me. I felt his breath on my neck and knew he was controlling his anger. “Tell me what you mean by that,” he bit out in a low deep voice.

  My trembling was not from fear. I was fighting the urge to cry now. To break down. I wish I hadn’t said anything. Why did I have to open my mouth and speak my feelings? Why couldn’t I hold it in? Why hadn’t I listened to Ian and waited until after the party?

  “I am keeping my daughters from living?”

  I closed my eyes.

  “Are they happy?”

  I nodded.

  “Are they healthy?”

  I nodded again.

  “Do they want for anything? ANYTHING? Miss Meadows?”

  I shook my head.

  He sighed. “Then how are they not living?” There was defeat and confusion in his voice.

  I turned to him. My eyes were on his tie. “There is more to life than just having your needs met and your body whole Mr. Byrne. There is so much out there that they need to experience. They don’t even know what they are missing!”

  “If they don’t know then how can it hurt them?”

  “Eventually what they have here will not be enough. You have made a wonderful place for them here but they will have dreams and if you confine them here those dreams will never be realized! They will want to fall in love and maybe marry one day! If you
have them in a box…how will this happen? And you…you keep yourself in this box! Don’t you have places you want to go!” My heart hammered. “Don’t you want to fall in love again?”

  He pulled in a deep breath and I watched his chest rise and fall on that breath. “That isn’t going to happen for me.”

  “You can’t know that if you are in here…hiding in here,” I whispered.

  He cleared his throat and his shoulders straightened. “Miss Meadows, I do not want to hear about the children leaving…about my parenting skills or lack thereof. Your job is to watch them, nurture them, and if necessary consult with me on their needs. Your job is not to debate me and it is certainly not for you to chastise me. Do I make myself clear?”

  My lip trembled, so I tucked it between my teeth and bit down as I nodded.

  “Then I suggest you go to them now and see if they are still in lesson. I have a lot of work yet to do and do not have time for your distractions. If I have to shout after you to return to my office again your job will be in jeopardy. You do not leave this office without my dismissal. Is that also clear?”

  I blinked tears and nodded.

  “I will not deal with the weeping and emotional state of female staff…no matter how pretty and pleasant they are. I am not my brother. Since you have him wrapped around your finger already…I suggest you go to him for such things.”

  Oh, I had struck a nerve somewhere in my last few sentences. This was Liam Byrne the business man speaking. This was not the Liam Byrne I had gotten to know.

  “Did you have anything else you wished to share?”

  I shook my head.

  He leaned in and his scent overwhelmed me. His stubble brushed my cheek and his warm breath touched my ear. “You may take your lovely self from my hiding place Miss Meadows,” he growled and moved swiftly away.

  I drew in a breath and obeyed.

  I have to say I was hurt. I have to say I was a little scared and I have to say I was pretty pissed. Liam Byrne was being stubborn. He couldn’t see past his own nose! He couldn’t see past his own tragedy! His girls were going to suffer for it to! And he was hiding! So my words had ticked him off? Good! He was hiding in his little hidey hole office behind his power and his money! If he were a poor man he would have had to face things long ago!