Pardon My French

by Cathy Hapka

  Okay, so technically they were broken up at the moment. That didn’t mean she should be throwing herself at any guy who came along. Not if she ever wanted them to have a chance to work things out ... The guilt was so overwhelming she wasn’t sure she could stand it.

  But maybe the guilt was good, she decided. It would be there, strong and bitter, reminding her to control herself from now on. Reminding her just what was at stake.

  Because there was no way she was going to risk everything she ever knew she wanted for some silly Paris fling.

  Nicole tilted her head back, doing her best to take in the soaringly beautiful, light-filled, iron-and-glass central hall of the Musée d’Orsay. The museum, a former railroad station, was the site of Dr. Morley’s latest class trip. The students had broken up into small groups to wander around taking in the architecture and the artwork, which included sculptures by Rodin, Impressionist masterpieces by Monet, Degas, van Gogh, and Renoir, and much more.

  “So?” Annike said, wandering over to stand at Nicole’s side. “What do you think? This has always been my favorite museum in Paris, ever since I first visited with my family as a little girl.”

  “I can see why,” Nicole said. “It’s gorgeous. And I love this kind of art.”

  Annike nodded. “You know what else is gorgeous?” she asked playfully. “The south of France. So did you think about it? Are you coming with us?”

  Nicole glanced over at her with a weak smile. “Um...” Annike had been bugging her for the past few days about a trip she was planning for the upcoming weekend with Janet, Ada, Petra, and Chloe. She wanted Nicole to come along.

  At first Nicole hadn’t even considered it. She had too much on her mind, what with the whole Nate situation. But now, after all of Annike’s wheedling and pleading, she wondered if she should just give in and go—if nothing else, maybe it would take her mind off her problems.

  “Come on,” Annike cajoled. “You have to decide soon; it’s Wednesday already, and we’re leaving first thing Saturday. Anyway, you know you want to. It will be fun!”

  “I don’t know.” Nicole wandered along the gallery without really seeing the artwork in front of her. “You’re talking about Thanksgiving weekend, and I don’t think they celebrate Thanksgiving in Nice.”

  Annike rolled her eyes. “They don’t celebrate it here in Paris, either, silly.”

  “Well, the Smiths might have something planned, or...” Nicole didn’t bother to finish. It was a pretty weak argument and she knew it. “I guess you’re right. It could be fun. I’ll ask the Smiths if it’s okay with them.”

  “Yay!” Annike cheered happily. Her voice caught the attention of Ada and Janet, who were looking at a painting nearby.

  The Australian girls hurried over. “What?” Ada demanded eagerly. “Did you talk her into it? Is she coming?”

  Nicole couldn’t help smiling at her enthusiasm. “Yeah, I guess I’m coming,” she said.

  “Bonza!” Janet exclaimed happily. “You’ll see, we’ll have a great time.”

  Annike smirked. “Oh, and if you wanted to ask a certain someone along...”

  “You mean Luc?” Nicole wrinkled her nose. “You know we’re just friends. Barely even that, really.”

  She felt a little sad as she realized that was becoming all too true. More than a week had passed since that kiss in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, and so far she was upholding her vow to be good. That meant staying away from Luc as much as possible, at least whenever they might possibly wind up alone.

  But it’s all for the best, she told herself as her friends moved on to the next exhibit, chattering happily about their trip. It’s definitely all for the best.

  When Nicole got home that afternoon, Mrs. Smith was in her office. The twins were napping in their crib nearby and the older kids were nowhere to be seen or heard, which probably meant they were out with Luc.

  Mrs. Smith looked up with a smile as Nicole entered. “Well, hi there,” she greeted her. “How was school today?”

  “Fine,” Nicole replied. “I have something I wanted to ask you.”

  “Shoot. I’m listening.”

  Nicole quickly explained about the weekend trip Annike and the others were planning. “If you don’t think it’s a good idea for me to go, that’s totally okay,” she added hastily. “I mean, I don’t want to put you on the spot or...”

  Mrs. Smith chuckled. “Don’t be silly, Nicole,” she said. “It sounds like a lot of fun. Of course you can go, as long as you get your parents’ okay.”

  “Great. Thanks.” Nicole wasn’t sure whether to feel happy or nervous at the permission. “I guess I’ll call Annike and tell her.”

  Annike was thrilled by the news. “Oh, we’re going to have such a blast!” she exclaimed. “I can’t wait.”

  “Me, either.” Annike’s enthusiasm was catching, even over the phone, and Nicole couldn’t help smiling. “So I guess we can talk about the details in school tomorrow. Au revoir.”

  “So what are you girls planning to do down there in the southlands?” Mr. Smith asked, leaning across the table to help himself from a dish of mashed potatoes.

  Nicole finished chewing her bite of turkey and stuffing. It was Thursday evening and the Smiths had prepared a traditional American Thanksgiving dinner. It felt a little strange to be celebrating the holiday, knowing that almost no one else in Paris probably even knew it was today. But it was sort of nice, too. It made the Smiths feel almost like part of her real family. Of course that hadn’t stopped her from feeling more homesick than she had in a long time while talking to her parents on the phone earlier....

  “I’m not sure,” she said in answer to Mr. Smith’s question. “Annike found us a cheap hotel down in Nice, so I guess we’ll just start there.”

  “If you can, you should try to get over to Monte Carlo,” Mrs. Smith said, glancing up from feeding one of the babies a bite of strained peas. “It’s quite a lovely city. All of Monaco covers only one square mile, but such a fascinating history!”

  Mr. Smith grinned. “Right,” he said. “And it’s a whole separate country, so you can add it to your travel tally.”

  “My tally is pretty pathetic so far,” Nicole admitted. “A total of three, if you count the time my parents took to Mexico when I was like a year old.”

  “That’s nothing!” Brandon looked up from his mashed potatoes, which he appeared to be forming into a scale model of the Eiffel Tower. “I’ve been to twelve jillion countries!”

  “You have not.” Marissa frowned at him. “You’ve been to the same number as me. That’s, um...” She glanced toward her mother for help.

  “Seven, sweetheart,” Mrs. Smith said calmly, scooping a bit of greenish goo off the baby’s chin. “America, Canada, France, Spain, England, Belgium, and Italy.”

  “Wow. You guys have been to all those places?” Nicole asked.

  “With the children.” Mr. Smith nodded. “Lynn and I have been to quite a few others as well. We honeymooned in Africa and spent our first anniversary in Fiji—ah, those were the days, weren’t they, dear?”

  As the couple smiled nostalgically at each other across the table, Nicole shook her head in amazement. Nobody she knew traveled like that. Even her parents had visited only four or five foreign countries. None of her friends had been anywhere, except for Patrice, who had relatives in Canada.

  I guess that really does make me the worldly one of the bunch, she mused. Weird.

  The thought almost made her drop her fork into her potatoes. Her, Nicole Larson—worldly? It didn’t compute. Zara and Annie were the sophisticated ones in their group; always had been. The two of them had practically created an art form out of making fun of Nicole’s inexperience and náiveté.

  Nicole shook her head again, amazed at the ways this trip was forcing her to see things differently. But was she just developing a more sophisticated way of seeing, as Dr. Morley might put it—or was the trip actually changing her? Turning her into a different person? The idea was sort
of scary.

  The next morning Nicole was standing in the kitchen sipping at a cup of coffee when Luc entered.

  “Oh!” Nicole glanced around, feeling trapped. So much for staying out of his way.

  “Good morning,” Luc greeted her cheerfully, seeming unaware of her consternation.

  She was already preparing to push past him on her way out of the room. “Excuse me,” she said. “I have to go.”

  Luc raised an eyebrow, moving to block her way. “Was it something I said?” he asked playfully.

  Even though he was joking, she decided to answer honestly. After all, he deserved that much—he needed to know why they weren’t going to be able to hang out anymore.

  “Listen, I need to talk to you about something,” she said. “Um, I like you. You’re a really cool guy, and you’ve been a good friend to me. But I really need for us to cool it from now on. You know—not hang out or whatever. With this whole thing with Nate, I just can’t deal with you right now.”

  “But why?” Luc tilted his head to one side, looking befuddled. “What is this about, Nicole? I do not understand.”

  She bit her lip, feeling a little embarrassed. “It’s just—well, the flirting and stuff. The—the kissing. It’s not fair to continue with that sort of thing. Not if I want to work it out with Nate. I just need to keep things clear in my own head, you know?”

  Luc shook his head. “Ah, but it was always clear to me that you are devoted to Nate. And I respect that. I only wanted to be friends with you. At this point in my life, I have no time for anything more.”

  Nicole blinked in surprise. “Huh?” she blurted out. “Then why did you kiss me?”

  Luc chuckled. “Why not?” he said. “I wanted to kiss you, so I did. You did not seem so upset at the time.”

  “That’s not the point.” Nicole frowned at him. “If you only wanted to be friends...”

  “Relax. You are thinking too hard about this, eh? We are young; this is a time for both of us to have fun, to enjoy each other’s company. Whether or not that involves kissing... well, it is okay either way.”

  Nicole took a step back, completely confused. “But you were the one who said every kiss matters.”

  “Did I?” Luc seemed amused by the comment. “Yes, that sounds like something I might say. But all I meant was exactly that. The kiss itself matters. Because of course it does. But that doesn’t mean it has to be part of something larger, or so serious.”

  At that moment they heard a shriek from the direction of the nursery.

  “Uh-oh,” he said. “It sounds like it is time for me to go to work. Are we okay now?”

  “Sure.” Nicole shrugged, still confused. “I guess.”

  With one last smile he hurried out of the room, leaving her alone with her muddled thoughts. On the one hand, a lot of what he’d just said made sense. But could it really be true? Could a kiss sometimes just be a kiss—nothing more, nothing less?

  Why can’t things just go back to normal? she wondered with a depressed sigh. If I’d never come to Paris, I wouldn’t have to worry about any of this....

  “Nicole? There you are!”

  “Here I am.” Nicole forced a smile. She still felt kind of strange about going off on some weekend jaunt when so many things in her life were so uncertain. “Am I late?”

  “No. I just got here myself.” Annike beamed at her and reached out to give her a hug. “This is going to be so much fun, isn’t it? I’m so glad you decided to come. After all you’ve been through with your boyfriend lately, you probably really need the break.”

  “Thanks.” Nicole was touched by her concern. “I just hope I don’t bring everyone down. I’m not in the greatest mood these days, as you know.”

  Thanks a lot, Nate, she added to herself with a sharp twinge of bitterness.

  Annike waved one hand in the air as if to brush aside the concern. “Never mind,” she said. “We’ll cheer you up. Besides, it will be good for you to get out and about. You shouldn’t sit home and mope, right?”

  “True.” Nicole grimaced. “I’m sure Nate isn’t sitting home alone moping over me.”

  “Hush,” Annike said sternly. “Don’t think about that. If you do, you’re letting him control your happiness. You deserve better than that.”

  Nicole sighed. “I guess you’re right.”

  Even though she was pretty confident that she and Nate would get back together, it was difficult just to sit back and wait for that to happen. She still wondered if she should have allowed Marie to change her mind about flying home right after Nate broke up with her. Was she just letting someone else run her life again, as she’d lately realized she’d often done with Zara and Nate?

  When we get back together, things are definitely going to be different. As in, way different, she promised herself with another flash of bitterness—or was it anger? I’m not going to let him push me around anymore. And if he ever pulls anything like this breakup crap again—well, let’s just say it won’t be pretty....

  Becoming aware that Annike was smiling sympathetically at her, she forced a smile in return. This weekend was supposed to be about distracting her from her problems, not dwelling on them.

  “Um, can we talk about this later?” Nicole asked. “I’d kind of like to forget about it all for a while.”

  “Of course.” Annike grabbed the duffel bag out of Nicole’s hand and slung it over her own shoulder. “We should get going, anyway—our train will be leaving pretty soon.”

  They headed across the platform to where the rest of their little group was waiting. Nicole greeted Janet, Petra, and Chloe.

  “Now if Ada ever gets her arse out here, we’ll be all set,” Janet commented with a yawn, glancing at her watch. “Hope she didn’t oversleep. She hates getting up this early!”

  As if on cue, a tall, gangly blur of pale skin and freckles rushed toward them, long limbs flying in all directions. “I’m here, I’m here!” Ada cried cheerfully. “Don’t let the train leave without me!” She skidded to a stop. “Oh! Cheers, Nicole. You’re with us after all! Annike kept saying she was afraid you’d back out.”

  “Hey! You weren’t supposed to say anything,” Annike protested, shooting Nicole a sheepish grin.

  Nicole laughed. “Okay, it’s scary how well you know me,” she said. “Now come on—all aboard before I change my mind!”

  “Whew! It’s nice to finally get off that bloody train and stretch my limbs,” Ada commented as the girls disembarked on the platform in Nice.

  Nicole nodded, setting down her bag and stretching her arms over her head. She had spent big chunks of the five-plus-hour journey staring out the window, brooding about Nate. She wondered if it had been a mistake to come on this trip.

  The other girls gathered around. “This place is super-cool!” Janet proclaimed, slinging her duffel bag over her shoulder, looking around eagerly. “Come, we should find our hotel quickly. I’m hungry! It is past time for lunch!”

  Nicole couldn’t help smiling at her enthusiasm. They crowded into two taxis and were soon checked into their hotel, a bare-bones but spotlessly clean place. Their two spacious adjoining rooms were crowded with a hodgepodge of single and double beds and little else except an extra door that Nicole first thought must lead to a closet. But when Janet opened it, she discovered that it was actually an in-room shower.

  “Ace!” Janet exclaimed. “I thought the dunny would be out in the hall.”

  “It is, I think,” Annike replied, peering at the sign on the inside of the shower door. “This is just a shower, not a toilet. Looks like it requires change if you want hot water, too.”

  “No worries.” Janet shrugged. “Still better than expected, eh?”

  As she dropped her bag on one of the beds, Nicole could only imagine what her friends back home would say about it. Not exactly the Ritz, is it? Zara would snark. Patrice would probably try to make the best of it, pointing out the clean-swept floor and the high ceiling, but Annie would just bite her lip and stare sadly
at the shower. You mean we have to go wandering halfway down the hallway every time we have to pee? she would whine.

  Nicole shuddered, a little glad they weren’t here. Then she caught herself. They might not be experienced world travelers or perfect in every way, but they were still her best friends in the world. And she’d be crazy to think she wouldn’t rather be with them right now....

  “Excuse me!” Janet pleaded as the others continued to poke around the rooms. “Lunch, remember?”

  “Oh, right.” Annike glanced at her watch. “It’s getting a bit late, isn’t it? Maybe we should skip the restaurant thing for now.” At Janet’s horrified squeak, she smiled and held up one hand. “No, I don’t mean to skip past lunch. I only mean we could go to l’épicerie, buy some food there, and eat outside—it’s such a lovely day, after all. And it will be faster.”

  “Good idea,” Chloe agreed. “Un morceau de fromage, un litre d’eau minérale, and I’m ready to go.”

  “Everybody agreed, then?” Ada glanced around. Nicole nodded along with the others. “Okay, let’s go!”

  With a little help from the hotel staff, the girls soon located a nearby grocery. They bought cheese, bread, mustard, fruit, bottled water, juice, soda, and anything else that looked good. They emerged from the store loaded down with bags.

  They headed straight for the beach, which was only a few blocks from their hotel. Nicole was surprised to discover how rocky it was—it was nothing like the sandy beaches back home in Maryland. But she soon found that sitting on the pebbly surface could be surprisingly comfortable. In any case, she forgot all about it as she reached for a crusty loaf of French bread.

  The girls ate until there was nothing left. As Nicole licked a bit of mustard off her fingers, she sighed with pleasure as she glanced up and down the curving, hotel-lined coastline. She realized she hadn’t thought about Nate at all for at least half an hour. The idea made her feel a little confused and uneasy, almost as if she were doing something wrong.