Infinite Loop

by Meghan O'Brien

  “Morning, sweet pea. Did you just wake up?”

  “Good morning,” Regan crossed over to his chair and leaned down to kiss the top of his gray head. “I woke up not too long ago.”

  “Is Mel still asleep?”

  Regan settled herself onto the arm of the chair, curled up next to her father, and peered at the paper over his shoulder. This, too, was a familiar pose, and Regan fell into it comfortably. She watched her father’s grin from the corner of her eye.

  “No. I think she’s in the shower.” Or she was when I left her.

  “Hmm,” her father murmured in response.

  They sat in silence, reading the newspaper together. Her father waited until she nodded at the end of each page before turning it. It was a quietly intimate routine only broken when Regan reached up to scratch her nose with a lazy hand. She immediately became aware of the way her father’s attention had shifted from the paper to the small Claddagh ring on her finger. She resisted the urge to blush and the even stronger urge to excuse herself from the room.

  “That’s a very pretty ring.” He gave her a sidelong glance. “I don’t think I saw it yesterday.”

  “I wasn’t wearing it yesterday.” Regan took a fleeting glance at the gold band, her hand still poised in front of her face, then dropped her arm to rest along the length of her body again. “It’s kind of new.”

  “Hmm.” He turned his face back to the paper and so Regan did, too, and for a minute she thought he wasn’t going to say anything else. She was both saddened and relieved by that thought. Then he spoke. “You need to hang on to that girl. She seems like a wonderful young woman.”

  “She is,” Regan whispered. The newsprint on the page in front of her blurred gray with the tears that welled in her eyes. She could feel her hand trembling against her thigh at the turn of their conversation.

  Her father turned look at her with a small grin. “And very beautiful, too.”

  Regan blushed and met his gaze for just an instant. “She is that, yes.”

  “Keep us posted on the art career, okay?”

  Regan nodded, turning her face back to the paper. I knew that one was coming. “We will.”

  Her father gave her an amiable grunt and turned his attention back to the paper. Regan continued reading, as well, relishing their time together. She was so involved that she didn’t even notice that they had company until her father raised his eyes from the paper and said, “Good morning, Mel.”

  Regan grinned up at her lover. Mel was standing in the doorway with her hands stuffed deep into the pockets of her blue jeans. Her hair was still damp and her feet were clad only in socks.

  The smile Mel gave her in return was a little restrained under her father’s observation. “Good morning. You two were so quiet that I wasn’t sure I was going to find you.”

  “Here we are,” Regan said with a nervous chuckle. She stood and walked to meet Mel in the doorway. “Are you hungry? Do you want some breakfast?”

  “You’re welcome to any of the cereal we have out there, and we have jam for toast, or eggs,” her father offered from his chair.

  Regan raised an eyebrow at Mel. “What do you say? Shall I make you something to eat?”

  “That sounds good, thanks.” Mel gave her a smile that warmed her from the inside out.

  “Do you want anything, Dad?”

  “I had some toast an hour ago.” He rearranged his paper to continue reading. “I’m fine, thanks.”

  Regan smiled and took Mel’s hand to tug her out of the den. She led them through the dining room in silence.

  “I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys.”

  “You didn’t. I was getting hungry, too.” Regan tugged Mel into the kitchen behind her, then turned and continued to pull her into a tight hug. She sighed when she felt Mel’s arms come up around her waist. “Are you ready for the drive home?” Regan whispered into Mel’s ear.

  “More than I was yesterday.”

  Regan could feel Mel’s smile against the sensitive skin of her neck and she smiled as well. “Me, too.”

  She heard a throat being cleared behind them. Regan stepped back from their embrace and turned, already blushing, to see her mother standing at the kitchen door with an embarrassed look on her face.

  “I’m sorry—” her mother started.

  Regan shook her head. “No, I’m sorry.”

  With a careful smile, her mother said, “Don’t be silly, dear. You have nothing to be sorry about.” She stepped into the kitchen, past a surprised Regan, and gave Mel a nod. “Good morning, Mel. Did you sleep well?”

  “Eventually,” Mel said. “And not long enough.”

  Carla chuckled and lightly patted Mel on the arm as she passed. “I know the feeling.”

  Regan watched their interaction with a sense of awe. What’s going on here?

  “Do you girls want some breakfast?” Her mother opened the cupboard door and encouraged Mel and Regan to look at the boxes of cereal within. “I could make you some toast, too, if you’d like.”

  “Oh, that’s all right, Mom.” Regan stepped over to her mother, giving her an awkward smile. “You don’t have to get us anything. We were already on a mission for food, anyway.”

  “No, really, I don’t mind. Go ahead and sit down, girls.” She glanced over Regan’s shoulder. “Did you want cereal, Mel?”

  “Cheerios would be great, thanks.”

  Regan watched as Mel ambled over to the kitchen table and plopped down in one of the chairs there. She frowned a little at how surreal the entire scene felt, especially how her mother was acting. Gone was the nervous woman of the night before, but Regan didn’t understand how or why. “Do you still like Frosted Flakes?”

  Regan nodded for a moment before finding her tongue. “Thanks, Mom.” She walked over and sat down next to Mel, raising a curious eyebrow at her lover, who only smiled at her unspoken question.

  First her mother laid out two glasses and a carton of orange juice, which Regan poured for each of them. A moment later Carla was back with two bowls and spoons, two boxes of cereal, and a half-gallon of milk. She arranged the bowls and utensils in front of Mel and Regan, then stepped back and wiped her hands on her thighs with a tentative nod.

  “Did either of you want toast?” she asked.

  “No, thank you,” Mel answered in a polite voice. “I’m fine.”

  “I’m fine, too,” Regan said. “Thanks.” She didn’t reach out to start pouring the cereal, uncertain of what to do next.

  “Have you eaten yet, Carla?” Mel asked, apparently at ease.

  “No, not yet. I was thinking that maybe I’d do my workout first.”

  Mel gave Regan’s mother an uneven grin. “Why don’t you get a bowl and pull up a chair?”

  Regan blinked in surprise as her mother’s face dissolved into a bright and genuine smile. “I’d like that.” When Carla sat down at the table with the extra bowl, she poured some cereal and gave Regan a mildly wicked smile. “So, Regan, why don’t you tell me something about your trip that didn’t make it into the parent-friendly retelling last night?”

  Regan blinked in surprise, caught Mel’s eye, and then grinned.

  *

  “Call and let us know that you’ve gotten home okay, will you, sweet pea?”

  Regan wrapped her arms around her father, and he planted a fond kiss on top of her head. “Sure, Dad.” She stepped back from his embrace and gave him a nose-crinkling smile. “It was really nice seeing you. I’m sorry we couldn’t stay for very long.”

  He reached out and tousled her hair, drawing a playful little growl and a swipe of her hand across his extended arm. It was uncharacteristic behavior from both of them, but Regan threw herself into it with abandon. It feels like I remember it used to feel back when I was little. She gave him a bright smile.

  “We were just glad you came to see us old folks at all,” he said. “I know we weren’t as exciting as most of what you’ve seen on your trip.”

  Regan smirked and b
ent down to pick up her bag from the floor, shouldering it with ease. “Not as exciting, maybe, but a highlight just the same.”

  “Smart-ass.” He offered his hand to Mel. “Mel, it was really wonderful to meet you.”

  She gave his hand a firm shake. “It was great meeting you, too, Brendan.” She looked over to Regan’s mother, who stood beside her husband in the foyer. “Both of you.”

  Regan watched, still confused by the undercurrent of emotion in their interaction as her mother gathered Mel into a sudden, gentle hug. “It was good meeting you, Mel. I hope we’ll get to see you again soon.”

  Mel looked slightly less surprised than Regan felt, and said, “Thank you, Carla. So do I.”

  After releasing Mel, she drew Regan into a similar embrace. Regan returned the hug with tentative arms, a little unbalanced in the face of her mother’s confidence.

  “Let’s not go so long before our next visit, huh?” she whispered into Regan’s ear. “Maybe we can come visit you two in Michigan sometime?” At Regan’s nod, her mother added, “I really like this girl, Regan. You take care of her, okay?”

  “Okay.” Regan eased her way out of her mother’s arms and gestured at Mel. “Ready to go?”

  “All set.”

  Her parents followed them out to the truck and stood with their arms around one another’s waists.

  “Love you guys,” Regan called, a few feet from the truck.

  “We love you, too, honey.” Regan’s father waved with his free hand. “Now get going. I’m sure you girls are looking forward to putting all this driving behind you.”

  Regan nodded even though he couldn’t have been further from the truth. I’m not looking forward to ending the most amazing experience of my life, no. Then again, nothing about this really feels like an ending.

  She turned to Mel, beaming at her. “I’ll drive, stud. You look tired.”

  “Thanks. I did have some trouble sleeping last night.” Mel climbed into the truck, and waited until Regan buckled herself into the driver’s seat before continuing. “I went upstairs to get my drawing stuff and ended up meeting your mom in the kitchen for a late-night snack.”

  That might explain some things. With a final wave to her parents, Regan backed out of the driveway. “That must’ve freaked you out.”

  “At first, yeah. But I really like your mom. She’s very cool.”

  Regan laughed. “Cool?”

  Mel nodded, reaching over to tuck a lock of auburn hair behind Regan’s ear. “Yeah. She loves you a lot, baby.”

  “Yeah,” Regan said, shrugging. “I know she does.”

  “She does. She told me she wishes you two were closer.”

  Regan looked at Mel in amazement. “She told you that? You’ve known her for less than twenty-four hours and you actually had a conversation like that?”

  Mel grinned. “I told her it’s not too late.”

  “I guess this does explain a lot.” All of a sudden this morning makes a lot more sense. She gave Mel a sidelong glance, impressed. “What ever happened to the chick who would have run screaming from something like that?”

  “She graduated from Sensitive Chats 101?” Turning in her seat, Mel reached over and gripped Regan’s thigh with a possessive hand. “Speaking of which, when do I get my diploma?”

  Regan arched an eyebrow at her lover. “Baby, I’ve got all the diploma you need once we get home.”

  “That sounds promising.”

  ”It should.”

  They fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes and Regan watched the familiar landscape around them. Already she missed the reds and purples of the Southwest.

  “Hey, Mel?”

  Mel turned away from her study of the passing traffic. “Yeah?”

  Regan quirked a hopeful grin. “Do you want to spend the night at my place?”

  “I don’t have anything waiting for me back at my place, so there’s no place I’d rather be. I don’t even have a plant to kill if I don’t get home.”

  “Cool,” Regan said, and beamed out the front windshield.

  The silence between them was comfortable and easy, as it had been from almost their first night together.

  Just when Regan thought that Mel had fallen asleep, her lover turned her head and said, “Um, Regan?”

  “Yeah, baby?”

  “Um, I was just wondering…well, I don’t want to totally disrupt your life or anything, but, I mean, after I move in, whenever that will be—”

  In a stroke of mercy, Regan put an end to Mel’s rambling speech. “The sky’s the limit, baby. What do you want?”

  “Can we get a kitten?”

  Did I say the sky? Regan despaired in silence. “A what?”

  “A kitten.” Mel shot a hopeful grin over at Regan. “You know…four legs, plays with little furry mice, meows on occasion?”

  Regan’s apprehension must have been plain on her face, because Mel instantly beseeched her with wide, sad eyes and a full lower lip that poked out in shameless pleading. When dark eyebrows furrowed to complete the pathetic expression, Regan groaned in defeat and turned her eyes back to the road.

  “That’s a cheap tactic.”

  “I’m just saying please,” Mel said. “Please?”

  “What’s wrong with a nice puppy?” Regan asked. It’s worth a try.

  “A puppy?” Mel scoffed. “Puppies are loud and messy and very high-maintenance.”

  Regan shot Mel a warning look. “The same could be said of me, on occasion.”

  “You, I’ll keep. Besides, I can’t respect the kind of blind, unthinking loyalty that a dog gives you. Cats are more intelligent. You have to earn their love and trust, and I appreciate that.”

  Mel began stroking her inner thigh in the most distracting way. Regan dropped her eyes for a half second to watch the seductive play of manipulative fingers on her body. Not that I mind her little technique one bit, Regan mused, if I’m being honest here.

  “Yeah, great,” she grumbled. “Fantastic. Just what I need—feline rejection.”

  Mel chuckled. “Why do you assume it would reject you?”

  Without answering the question, Regan said, “I have no problem with unconditional love, by the way.”

  “But that’s why you’ve got me.”

  She tore her eyes away from the road to study Mel’s pleading face for a beat. “I guess I do see the puppy resemblance, now that you mention it.”

  “Come on. Kittens are cute!” Mel gave Regan’s arm a playful slap.

  “In an evil sort of way.” Looking over at Mel and seeing the pout still firmly in place, Regan expelled a long-suffering sigh. “All right. We’ll get a kitten.”

  Mel leaned over in her seat with an excited little yelp, wrapping strong arms around Regan in a tight hug. “Awesome!”

  “Can I name it?” Regan asked.

  Mel pulled back, giving the redhead a suspicious look. “Maybe. It depends.”

  “Hey, I just want to make sure this poor thing isn’t going to be called something as dysfunctional as Spike.”

  Mel snickered. “So what are you thinking? What’s the perfect name?”

  “I don’t know. Something cute. How about Pixel?”

  Mel’s beaming smile said it all. She looked out the front windshield and shook her head. “Geek.”

  “Yup.” Regan looked over at Mel with an amused smile. “Hey, I bet you never would have guessed just a month ago that you’d be sitting here now, thinking about moving in with your girlfriend and excited about the idea of adopting a kitten, huh?”

  “The very picture of lesbian domestic bliss, right?”

  Regan tilted her head back to smile up at the sun. “Right,” she answered, and she continued to steer them onward toward home.

  Epilogue

  Mel opened the side door of Regan’s house with the new silver key that hung from her familiar Harley Davison keychain. Regan had given it to her almost two weeks ago, but it still felt new every time she slid it into the lock.
<
br />   I wonder how long I’ll have to live here before I think of it as something other than Regan’s house.

  She hung her black motorcycle helmet on a peg next to the door, walked into the kitchen, and dropped her backpack to the floor. She didn’t have to wonder where Regan was; the noise of a loud video game sent her through the kitchen and down the hallway in search of her lover.

  It still felt like Regan’s house, even after two months, but Mel could already feel her growing presence here. She passed by a second-hand book on Flash animation and web development that sat on the kitchen table, a loaner from Regan’s co-worker Dan to supplement the texts assigned by Mel’s new professor. In the hallway leading from the kitchen to the living room, Regan had framed and hung Mel’s portrait of the old man at the gas station in Kansas.

  Mel directed a smile at the piece as she passed it by. That one was Regan’s favorite. Mel’s favorite was the portrait of Regan, and that was hanging in the bedroom.

  She entered the living room and found Regan and Adam sprawled in their favorite positions on each couch, completely engrossed in what looked like an intense game of Halo. Mel grinned at the screen and at the running dialogue that Regan and Adam kept up as they strategized against their mutual enemies.

  “Sniper on the ridge, Regan,” Adam said.

  A single gunshot, then Regan chuckled in victory. “Got him. Go get the flag.”

  “I’m on my way. Keep sniping as they respawn.”

  “Not a problem.”

  Mel came up behind the couch and grinned down at another recent addition to the house. Pixel the gray wonder kitten sat perched on Regan’s shoulder, watching the television screen in rapt fascination.

  “That cat is going to grow up to be a gamer. I just know it,” Mel drawled.

  “Hey, baby.” Regan managed a quick glance back at Mel. “I didn’t hear you come in. How was class?”

  Adam also gave her a quick look, then returned his eyes to the screen to continue running through a grassy field carrying a red flag. “Hey, Mel.”

  Mel approached the couch and bent to kiss Regan on the cheek, then nuzzled one of Pixel’s fuzzy ears with her nose. “Class was good. I like the professor. And I think I’m getting all the computer stuff so far.”