Take the Leap

by April Fire

  But I just couldn’t figure out for the fucking life of me why she was being like that. I had no intention of pushing my luck more than I already had, but sometimes I just wanted to grab her by the shoulders and ask her to explain to me exactly what it was that was keeping her away from me. She’d been the one to initiate it that night. I would have let her walk out of there without laying a finger on her, but she seduced me, had me go down on her, came so hard I was pretty sure that it caused tremors for miles around. But as soon as she was done, she looked down at me and I knew at once that I was about to get kicked to the curb.

  The reasons she offered me might have made sense, but she didn’t know me well enough to know if any of that really applied to us. She made like we were from different planets, that we were different species – but then, she’d only really seen my press persona before then. No wonder she thought that I was some playboy without an ounce of remorse for anything I’d done to the women I’d dated over the years.

  Maybe all of this was some kind of cosmic comeuppance for what I had done for so long? I treated women like they were disposable, and then one comes along who I actually want to be with and she does the same to me. Seems like someone was in on a joke up there.

  But either way, she was probably on the other side of the country now, working with some other lucky fucker who wouldn’t appreciate her the way I had. There was no point lingering on what didn’t happen or could never have been; I was just going to drive myself crazy doing that.

  More than anything, I needed to get my head back in the game and focused on the film. The last thing I wanted was to look back on this and kick myself for letting my eye wander long enough to fuck up this movie, especially if it was over a woman who didn’t even seem to want me.

  I had an interview on a talk show that evening, and I was already dreading it. Spending weeks working on that production rendered me pretty damn exhausted, mentally and physically, and the thought of going out on to that stage and putting on a big grin and making like I gave a shit for an hour or so seemed hellish. But, my agent had insisted on it and they were letting me talk about the movie, so that was a plus. I hadn’t found a studio to distribute it yet, and I was really hoping that I could drum up some buzz over the next few weeks so by the time we had a rough cut, we actually had some people to show it to.

  I went about my day as normal – well, as normally as I could, considering that I’d been away for a couple of months. It felt as though my star had dimmed a little – I didn’t notice as many people giving me those shocked second looks on the street, not that I missed it. It felt good to be a little more anonymous. Hell, if that’s what I could expect from directing, then I would quit acting entirely and hide out behind the camera. I was pretty sure I liked it better there, anyway.

  My driver came to pick me up after dinner and drove me out to the set of the talk show I would be appearing on that day. The host’s name was having a hard time sticking in my brain, so I ducked into the dressing room to wait for hair and make-up and closed my eyes, silently repeating it so I wouldn’t go out there and instantly, monumentally, fuck things up.

  The door clicked and I raised my head. And that’s when I saw her.

  I blinked a couple of times, staring at her as though I was making sure that she was actually there in front of me, because it felt like some kind of miracle. Dina, hair pulled up off her face in a haphazard topknot and a pair of slim-fit jeans that hugged her hips and thighs like they were made for her, standing there and looking at me in the mirror with a surprised expression on her face. Her mouth formed a perfect “o” shape, her eyes wide and her skin suddenly pale as she took me in.

  “Holy hell, it’s you!” She shook her head, still not moving. “They didn’t tell me…I wouldn’t have…”

  She stumbled over her words, not getting any closer to me, as though she was worried she might be dragged in to my thrall if she came within a five-foot radius.

  “If you want to send down someone else, that’s fine,” I replied cautiously, as though worried I might say something that spooked her and sent her running off.

  “No, no, they said we were running late anyway and I have to get this done quickly,” she shook her head, finally moving towards me. She was clutching a handful of brushes in front of her chest as though they were a cross and I were a vampire she was trying to repel.

  “Fair enough,” I shrugged, acting as nonchalant as I could, since the woman I thought I would never see again was about to be in very close proximity to me for the next few minutes.

  “I can’t believe it’s you,” she paused for a moment to stare at me, and there was something close to actual disbelief in her eyes. I saw it mirrored in my own face; something about this felt fated, like it was meant to be. Like a piece of movie magic.

  “Me neither,” I murmured, examining her face in the mirror. I had forgotten it’s contours, the shape of her mouth, the way her eyes tilted up slightly at the edges. I wanted to reach out and run my fingers over her, committing her to memory once and for all. I didn’t want to forget a thing.

  “I should…” she rummaged on the desk in front of me, gathering her supplies. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. What were the chances? How many make-up artists must a show like this have, and she was the one they sent down to me? My stomach flipped unhappily as I thought about the fact that I could have easily been in the same building as her and not known it, have walked out as though I had no idea at all. That wasn’t a pleasant feeling. Surely, I would have known? Something about her would have drawn me in, I was sure of it.

  “So, is this what you’re doing now?” I asked, and she nodded.

  “It’s a job,” she shrugged. “But I wish I was back in Devina. I really liked it out there.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah, I love the city and everything. it’s just so…” she waved her hand around the room. “Brash.”

  “Yeah, that’s the word for it,” I agreed, a zing passing from her fingertip to my skin as she went to apply base. I swallowed heavily; I just had to play it cool. That was all. No need to be an asshole about this, or make either or us uncomfortable here. Just…play it cool. I didn’t want her to think that I had somehow orchestrated this so we could be together again. Creepy as fuck wasn’t generally my style.

  “What about you?” She met my gaze in the mirror. “What are you up to?”

  I was rendered temporarily silent as I looked back at her, groping around for something to say. It felt stupid to be dancing around the subject like this. The chemistry was so thick that I was surprised she could actually walk around my chair without having to shove it aside first. I saw her chest rising and falling, a little quicker than when she had first walked into the room. I knew she felt it too. This was some kind of torture, not being able to indulge ourselves in what we clearly both wanted.

  “Uh, not much,” I finally responded, following her with my eyes with every step she took. Was I going to do this? I was going to do this.

  “Thinking about you a lot,” I admitted, watching her carefully for a reaction. She didn’t even flinch, resting her teeth on her bottom lip and furrowing her brow as she stared back at me. She knew as well as I did that it was just the two of us, alone in here, nothing to stop us indulging ourselves in what we wanted most.

  “Fuck it,” she suddenly announced, something in her appearing to snap. She turned and checked the door, trying the handle to make sure that it was as tight shut as it could be.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, and she leaned back on the door and shot me a look so scorching I was surprised I didn’t burst into flames right there and then.

  “One fuck,” she shook her head as she took a step towards me, as though she couldn’t actually believe that she was doing something like this. “To get you out of my system.”

  I didn’t waste a second, shoving some of the junk of the desk aside and striding over to her at once. I kissed her hard, our tongues meeting at once, and she groaned loudly
against my mouth as though finally getting this close to me again was some kind of a relief.

  “We have to be quick,” she ordered. “I don’t want anyone to get suspicious.”

  My head was whirling with thoughts, questions, concerns, but desire was overwhelming me and I wasn’t about to pass up the chance to fuck the woman who it felt like I’d been trying to screw for years now. I tucked my hands under her ass, picked her up, and deposited her on the table. I dipped my hand into my pocket, fumbling hopefully – and found a condom. Thank Christ. She wrapped her arms around my neck and looked up at me, her eyes hot.

  I parted her thighs and pulled down her jeans and panties in one swift motion, and she kicked them off, naked from the waist down. I cupped my hand briefly over her cunt, and closed my eyes as I found she was already wet. Had that started as soon as she’d seen me again? The thought was enough to bring my cock to full hardness, and I pulled down my pants and sheathed myself quickly. She hooked her ankles behind my back and pulled me in closer, and pressed her head into my chest and inhaled deeply. I knew how she felt – the smell of her was so familiar and sweet and intoxicating, and I felt as though I would never grow tired of it.

  “I’ve wanted to fuck you for so long,” I bit her ear lightly, flicking my tongue out to tend the spot right after as she squirmed with anticipation below me. “That night in the trailer, you were so fucking sweet…”

  I trailed off as I pressed the head of my cock to her pussy, slowly easing myself inside of her. I wanted to savor this, even if we weren’t going to have a lot of time to do it. She lifted her head and looked up at me as I pushed inside her, her mouth falling further and further open the deeper I moved. I grabbed her face roughly, pushing my thumb against her lip, desperate to feel her and touch her and have her again. And then, I was all the way inside of her, and both of us held stock-still as though worried that one wrong motion might be enough to be break the spell.

  “Fuck me,” she gasped, and I didn’t need telling twice. I moved inside her hard, fucking her deep and fast so that the entire desk shook back and forth with every thrust. She sank her nails into my back, pulling them down me, the pain and pleasure sparking off my skin and adding to the ridiculous hotness of the moment.

  I had never wanted anyone this badly in my life, but somehow, being with her wasn’t a let-down after all that time. It was better than I could have imagined, her pussy grasping me as she lifted her hips up to let me get deeper. She unhooked her ankles and propped one leg up on my shoulder; I kissed the inside of her knee, watching her melt beneath me as I slowed for a moment and let myself enjoy the intimacy of the moment. But the sound of people walking by outside was enough to spur me back into action, and I fucked her with a fury once more.

  “Oh my God…” she groaned, reaching down and playing with her clit. My eyes travelled to her busy hand and I felt my cock twitch inside of her. I was so close, but I didn’t want this to be over. I wanted to fuck her all night long, all day, to forget this damn stupid show and do nothing but spend this time with her. But then, I felt her pussy spasming around my cock, her mouth opening and closing as a flood of electric energy moved between us.

  “Fuck!” She finally gasped, her leg falling down and behind me as I buried myself in her. I pushed all the way up, moving my hips in a cockscrewing motion and drawing out another welcome moan from between her lips. Then, I came.

  I cried out in pleasure, momentarily not giving a damn who heard me, but she leaned up and clapped a hand over my mouth at once. I grinned against her skin; even this kind of contact was good. Anything I could use to stretch out this encounter was perfect to me.

  I pulled out of her slowly, reluctantly, and disposed of the condom in a nearby trash can. She looked over at it, eyebrow cocked.

  “Yeah, subtle,” she teased, peering around to check herself in the mirror and quickly fixing her hair and make-up. She looked good – flushed, but happy. I wondered if she’d spent as long thinking about that as I had, if she’d craved it with the passion that I’d craved everything about her.

  “I…” I looked down at her as I buckled my pants, not sure what to say. The crucial few minutes we had together were running low, and I wanted to get something out before they were over.

  “Dina, I really like you,” I finally blurted, feeling like a teenager faced with the girl he had a crush on. “I really like you. I want you to be in my life, and I know that-”

  “Please don’t do this,” she looked up at me, her breath returning to normal and a darkness taking over her face that told me that she didn’t want to go down this route again.

  “Dina, just give me a shot,” I tried to convince her. “Look, what’s between us, it’s…real. I don’t know what it is yet, but you can’t deny that there’s something there. Please?”

  She gazed up at me, real pain etched into her face, and grabbed her jeans, panties, and shoes off the floor.

  “I should go,” she mumbled, grabbing for the door, and I had a flashback. To the first time in the trailer, to the last time in the trailer, to that night we’d spent out together - all those times when she’d walked away from me without delivering anything close to an answer for her actions. She owed me one, surely, after everything that had happened.

  “Dina, wait,” I implored her. “I want you to stay. Give me a-”

  “Will, I can’t do this,” she shook her head and opened the door. “I’ll send another artist down. I’ll see you…I don’t know, around.”

  And with one last tearful look in my direction, she slammed the door shut behind her and walked out, leaving me standing alone in that dressing room and feeling as though someone had just landed me a brutal sucker punch.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Dina

  It’s funny; when you’re not working on a set, time just seems to drift by. With a production like the movie I had just come from, every minute of every day was set out in block print so that not a second was wasted and they could get the most out of their budget, but back in the big city, nothing was as regimented.

  It had already been a couple of months since the movie was finished up, and I had spent that time just kind of drifting around the city, not doing much of anything except trying to keep a roof over my head and the money coming in. Those stresses I could handle, though – they were the normal stresses that came with living a life like the one I did. And at least none of them revolved around a certain Will Derry.

  I stopped making the cup of coffee I was going to have with my breakfast and stared off into space, the pang of his name bringing me to a standstill. When was this going to get better? When would it get easier? I had no idea, as it had been what felt like a lifetime since our hook-up in that dressing room and the memories were still as fresh as they ever were. The feel of his fingers on my flesh, the way he felt inside me – I had never had sex like it before.

  I had hoped, spur of the moment, that it would go some way to getting him out of my system, but I knew at the moment that I walked into the room and saw him sitting there that I had to fuck him. It was like some kind of magnetic draw, that pull that snapped me to his side no matter what.

  But I hadn’t heard from him since then, so it seemed like he’d taken my advice and backed the hell off. I didn’t know what I was thinking when I shut him down. I mean, I wanted him, and there he was, after we’d hooked up, telling me that he wanted more and that he couldn’t stop thinking about me and that there was something between us and he felt it too, and what did I do? I ran the hell out of there.

  Everything combined at once – the sex, his confession, my mixed feelings – and I needed some time to get my head on straight before I could give him the answer that he obviously expected right there and then. If I would have taken just a second longer, then I would have stayed. I would have given him my number, told him to call me, and walked off with that warm feeling in my stomach like I was kindling a fire. Like this was the start of something. Because Will was right; there was something between us
, something special and unstoppable and something that even now made me feel as though I was being dragged across the city towards him.

  I knew I could have reached out to him if I really wanted, that I could have been the one to make the effort after he spilled his guts to me the way he did, but I was terrified – scared that if I came running, he wouldn’t be interested in me anymore. Because there was still a part of me that couldn’t shake the feeling Will was really in this for the thrill of the chase. And what then? What if I ended up heartbroken and with nothing to show for it?

  I shook my head and carried on making my coffee. I couldn’t spend the rest of my life hung up on some guy who I’d hardly had anything with in the first place. Yes, the fucking was fun, but I still barely knew him. I liked him, and he was fun, but what about when things got hard? What about when stuff wasn’t all romantic and big and galas and movies? How would he deal with the day-to-day of it?

  Those were the questions I comforted myself with in the middle of the night when I was trying to convince myself that it wouldn’t have worked between us. They were so familiar to me now that I probably could have recited them like some kind of childhood chant. They weren’t doing a whole lot to comfort me anymore, though I never would have admitted that to anyone but myself. I felt a keening hole inside me every time I thought of him, every time I thought of what he was offering me and how good things could have been between us.

  I was snapped from my self-indulgent reverie by the sound of my phone buzzing on the counter next to me; I grabbed it off the side and answered it at once, just glad to have something to take my mind off the nasty spiral that my brain seemed so intent on dragging me down.

  “Hello?” I spoke as perkily as I could manage, hoping that it was the call back from that job I’d applied for back in Devina. I wanted to get out of the city, and that town had really stolen my heart. Plus, it would mean that the place wasn’t permanently linked with Will in my mind, which could only be a bonus.