With You Always

by Rena Olsen

  “Let’s go, girls!” Savannah was back, tugging on my arm, pulling me out of the booth. I grabbed Amanda, who grabbed Darci, and so on down the line until we were a human chain, winding our way up to the stage.

  As the first strains of the Spice Girls’ “Wannabe” blasted from the speakers, we all hooted and hollered. There wasn’t a more perfect song at this point. “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends!” I screamed into the microphone. I was usually a fairly decent singer, but for tonight, I was all about letting loose with everything I had, playing up my role as Ginger Spice to Van’s Scary Spice.

  Too soon, the song ended, and we exited the stage to raucous applause, making our way back to the table. I collapsed, signaling for water.

  “Don’t look now, girl,” Savannah said, whisper-shouting to be heard over the next act, crooning along to “Genie in a Bottle,” “but I think Bryce has some competition. Dude hasn’t stopped staring at you since we were up on stage.”

  Savannah tended to exaggerate, but I decided to look anyway, figuring I’d send a flirty wave and then get back to my night with the girls. Instead, my stomach dropped as I saw the man now making his way over to the table.

  “Bryce?”

  Bryce’s face was fixed in a casual expression as he approached. “Hey,” he said, reaching the table. “I wasn’t sure if I should come over or not.” Despite his claims to be unsure, he looked completely confident in his decision, his gaze zeroed in on me.

  Flustered, I did my best to sit up straight and smooth out my hair and clothing. “Of course you should, but what are you doing here?”

  He ran a hand through his hair, which was decidedly more mussed than usual. It was a good look for him. “I thought I’d have a drink with some of my friends,” he said. “I didn’t realize we’d end up at the same place.” I craned my neck to look back the way he’d come, trying to get a glimpse of this group of friends. He mentioned friends from time to time, but not by name.

  An elbow gouged my side, and I remembered my friends were all still sitting at the table. My world had once again been all Bryce for those few seconds.

  “Bryce,” I said, “this is Savannah, Darci, Amanda, Kara, and Joni. Guys, this is Bryce.”

  Everyone said hello, and then continued to watch the two of us like we were a reality television show.

  “Listen, ladies,” Bryce began, his natural charm sparking from every syllable. “I know this is girls’ night and everything, but do you mind if I borrow Julia for a few minutes?”

  “Take her,” Savannah said, shoving me out of the booth. I practically fell into Bryce’s arms. He caught me and set me upright before taking my hand and leading me away.

  “I’ll bring her right back,” he called over his shoulder.

  Sorry, I mouthed at the group as I allowed Bryce to pull me through the crowd. Savannah made a hand gesture that caused my cheeks to heat. I was glad for the dim lighting in the bar.

  Bryce let me up a side staircase to the rooftop patio. It was much quieter away from the crowd. Small pockets of people dotted the area, but there was plenty of privacy. We found a small corner partially blocked from the rest of the rooftop by a canopy and sat on the chaise longue set up for optimal nighttime city viewing.

  We sat for several minutes, not speaking. It was surprisingly peaceful, with the sounds from the bar muted and the lights winking at us from all directions. The silence between us was a comfortable one, not pressured. In fact, I felt more settled with him than I did away from him, which both surprised and calmed me. Shifting in his seat, Bryce turned to me, taking my hands. “Julia,” he said, “I’m really sorry for interrupting your night with your friends, but I saw you up on stage and I had to tell you something.”

  Ducking my head, I blushed. I hadn’t exactly planned for Bryce to see that part of me just yet, though he was bound to see my silly side eventually. “Yeah, it’s a little different from how I usually act,” I said. “I guess you got to witness a whole different side of me tonight.” I laughed, trying to inject levity into the moment.

  Brushing a finger under my chin, Bryce raised my face to look at him. “If I’m honest, I wasn’t a fan of all those guys in there staring at you dancing around onstage.” Embarrassed, I tried to look away, but his gaze held mine. “But you were absolutely beautiful. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

  At that moment a meteor streaked across the sky. “Make a wish,” he whispered, leaning close.

  “I don’t have to. Everything I need is right here.”

  He leaned in. “Julia.”

  “Yes?” I could barely breathe, so close were our lips.

  “I love you.”

  Most people would say it was insane to fall in love so quickly, but as soon as he said it, I knew it was true for me as well. We were one of those stories, the ones young girls talk about. The whirlwind romances where both people just knew without needing more time. As those words left his lips, I knew that this was the man I wanted to spend my life with.

  “I love you, too.”

  His lips closed the distance to mine, and when they met a thousand shooting stars exploded behind my closed eyelids as fireworks danced across my skin. He cradled the back of my head, holding me in place as if I would have any desire to leave this spot. My fingers clutched at his sleeves, moved to his chest, rested there, felt his heart racing in time with my own.

  We fell, together, as bright and dramatic as the meteor falling to its fiery death above us.

  He’s not sure which is worse: the walk home or actually arriving home. In the distance, the outline of a run-down shack shimmers in the afternoon heat. From here, it looks abandoned, as if some tragedy drove its inhabitants off in the middle of the night, leaving a shell of a life behind.

  Unfortunately, the tragedy still exists in those walls.

  Behind him, a group of boys from his grade shuffles as if using one mind. He smirks. They don’t have enough smarts to make up an entire brain between them. Still, his footsteps grow, longer and faster, his gangly legs finally serving a purpose. Used to be those boys would have caught him and roughed him up already. But he’s found ways to outsmart them.

  By the time he reaches the front gate, the illusion, and his secret hope, that the house is actually abandoned is shattered. The TV screams through the open windows, the voices distorted, words garbled. The only thing more grating is the sound of his mom and her latest live-in yelling at each other. The topic of the argument doesn’t matter. It always ends the same.

  He steps inside the gate, picks his away across the grass scattered with piles the dog left behind, and swings up into a towering tree, the only one of its size for miles. Remnants of a long-forgotten attempt at a tree house rot in the deepest part of the tree, and he settles in what would have been the lookout tower, opening his bag and pulling out his homework. He tunes out the cacophony of the world and focuses on his singular goal: escape.

  PART II

  FIRST COMES LOVE

  Chapter 6

  Kate picked up on the first ring.

  “I can’t do this,” I said, not giving her a chance to greet me. “I’m going to say something stupid and Bryce will realize he made a huge mistake and dump me on the spot.”

  An amused sigh preceded Kate’s laugh. “You’ll do fine, Julia. Bryce’s family will love you.”

  “I am pretty great,” I said, nodding at my reflection in the mirror as I surveyed my blue, knee-length dress from every angle. “And my fashion sense is impeccable.”

  “Lead with that,” Kate said. “Get them on board early.”

  Just joking around with my sister had the desired calming effect on my nerves. “Did I tell you it’s not even his real family?”

  “What does that mean?”

  I frowned, recalling the conversation with Bryce. He refused to talk about his biological family, but had gone on and on a
bout this man and his wife who he said had changed his life. “I’m not really sure,” I answered Kate. “He calls them the Reverend and Nancy.” I thought for a moment. “I don’t think he’s ever even mentioned the Reverend’s first name. Anyway, I guess they lead some church in the Sheridan Heights area. We’re going to the service before brunch.”

  “Really? Interesting. I hadn’t pegged Bryce for a church boy.”

  I rolled my eyes, though Kate couldn’t see me. “He goes to church, but I don’t know if that classifies him as a ‘church boy,’” I said. “Besides, how do you know? You’ve never even met the guy.”

  “And whose fault is that? Savannah and the Cats got to meet him. I’m beginning to think you’re ashamed of me.”

  “It’s time you knew, Kate.”

  “Brat.”

  A knock at the door interrupted my response.

  “He’s here, gotta go.”

  “Have fun, and Jules?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Relax, they’re going to love you.” Sincerity warmed her tone, and I smiled into the phone.

  “Thanks. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  Bryce was leaning casually against the wall in the hallway when I opened the door. As usual, he took my breath away at first glance. At second glace, I let out a surprised laugh. “They’re going to think we planned this.”

  He was dressed in dark pressed slacks, which he paired with a shirt almost the exact blue of my dress. Of course, they brought out the brilliant blue of his eyes, which was why I’d picked the color for myself.

  Pushing off the wall and closing the distance between us, Bryce took my face in his hands and gave me a chaste kiss in greeting. “Great minds think alike, love.”

  My lips tingled where his had brushed them, and I wondered if I’d ever get used to the feeling. My confidence grew and I leaned forward to place a not-so-chaste kiss on his surprised mouth. “Indeed,” I whispered against his lips.

  Bryce cleared his throat, and I was happy to recognize the effect I had on him. “We’d better get going,” he said. “Do you have a sweater?”

  I glanced down at my bare arms. After our greeting, putting on a sweater was the last thing on my mind, but since we were going to church, I had set out a cardigan. “Just a second.” I stepped back into the apartment, collected my purse, and shrugged on the white cardigan as we headed back out the door. “Is this okay, though?” I asked, suddenly nervous again about being presentable for the people he called family.

  “You look perfect,” Bryce said, his voice encouraging. “You’ll fit right in.”

  The wave of relief I felt at that statement held me all the way until we pulled up in front of the huge building that housed Bryce’s church. A sign declaring CHURCH OF THE LIFE in tall, bold letters hung over the entrance, surrounded by great pillars that gave it a regal feel. Bryce pulled up into the half-circle drive and my door popped open as soon as the car came to a halt. A smiling man offered his hand to help me out of the car. I glanced at Bryce, but he was already out and handing his keys off to another man. The two shook hands, and I allowed myself to be pulled from the passenger side. Bryce jogged around and took my hand from the man who had helped me, tucking it into his elbow.

  “Thank you, Peter,” Bryce said, shaking the man’s hand. I nodded at Peter as Bryce led me away, and Peter gave a small wave before jogging to the next car to assist its passengers.

  “Valet service?” I asked.

  Bryce gazed down at me. “It’s one of the ministries of the church. It’s meant to be welcoming. Besides,” he said, gesturing to the right, “would you want to walk from over there?”

  Across the street was a giant parking lot, several football fields wide and deep. In the distance, golf carts ran valets back toward the entrance. The synchronicity of it was beautiful, but I shook my head. “Thank goodness for valet service.”

  We walked through the massive double doors and were immediately greeted by no fewer than five different people. Most knew Bryce by name, and he shook hands and introduced me to each one. The names flew past me and refused to stick in my brain, which was otherwise occupied taking in the interior of the building. Giant screens flashed announcements everywhere I looked. The smell of coffee wafted over from a café to the left, and groups of kids disappeared into the kids’ church area on the right. An information booth dominated the center of the room, and the mass of people teemed around it.

  “What do you think?” Bryce whispered in my ear.

  “It’s . . . a little overwhelming,” I said, looking up at him. A frown creased his brow. “But everyone seems so nice,” I continued, trying to avoid offending him. “I’ve never been to a church like this.”

  His brow smoothed, and he smiled, pride evident across his face. “There aren’t many like it,” he said, and began pointing out the different areas, giving me a mini-tour. As we walked, a door opened and a group of girls spilled out.

  “Wow, so many young people,” I said, impressed.

  “Those are the girls from our school,” Bryce said. “They live there full-time. I’ll show you around there someday. I think you’d really appreciate it.”

  No wonder the building was so large. A church and a school and any number of other things. I was suitably impressed. At the entrance to the sanctuary, a smiling woman handed me a booklet outlining the service and listing all the activities going on at the church. It was substantial.

  “You guys do a lot here,” I said, flipping through.

  “We try.” Bryce took my hand and led me farther into the room. The soaring ceilings held my attention for a moment before I caught sight of a table in the back.

  “Bill shredder?”

  “We believe in freedom from financial burdens,” Bryce explained. As he spoke, a woman walked up to the shredder, fed a bill through, and picked up a bell sitting next to the shredder, ringing it loudly. Immediately, everyone in the vicinity began clapping, and several people ran up and embraced the woman, offering her congratulations.

  This was certainly not what I expected at a church, but it fit Bryce. With him, everything had been unexpected from the moment we met. He tugged my hand and I followed him down the center aisle toward the front of the church. It was almost completely filled up already, but there were two empty seats in the middle of the second row that had obviously been saved for us. It took us a bit to get to them, as Bryce hugged each person we passed and introduced me. I forgot most names except for the woman I sat next to, Stacy. Her blonde hair shone in the bright lights surrounding the stage in front of us, and I self-consciously smoothed my dress as I took in her perfectly pressed skirt-and-blouse ensemble.

  “It’s so nice to meet you, Julia,” Stacy said. “Bryce speaks highly of you, and we’ve all been excited to meet you.”

  I smiled at her, unsure of how to respond, since I was sure Bryce had never mentioned her to me by name. In fact, Bryce had only ever talked about the Reverend and his wife in any of his stories. “I’m very excited to meet everyone,” I said. “Bryce says such nice things about the people at church.” That was vague enough, and seemed to satisfy her.

  “We’ll have to get together for coffee sometime,” Stacy said. “I’d love to learn more about you, and see if Bryce has been exaggerating!”

  “Sure, yes, of course,” I said. “Do you want my e-mail?”

  “I’ll just get your number from Bryce,” she said, and before I had a chance to respond, loud music blasted through the sanctuary. Everyone hopped to their feet and before I knew it, I was swept into the excitement of the service.

  The church had a full band, and it was almost like attending a rock concert where everyone knew the songs except me. Bryce and Stacy swayed and clapped on either side of me, and all throughout the room people fell to their knees and raised their hands in the air. I’d never seen anything like it, and it fascinated me. Between songs, the
bandleader invited everyone in the congregation to greet each other, and people milled about the room for almost ten minutes, hugging and shaking hands, before the music started again. I had never seen Bryce so animated, so in his element, and I had never been so attracted to him. This was where his charismatic confidence came from. I found myself watching him more than paying attention to the music.

  A gnawing need to know more about what drove Bryce, what made him tick, grew in my heart, at the same time as a sinking feeling in my stomach made me realize that I didn’t belong in this world. This wasn’t me. This was exciting and fascinating, but I wasn’t a part of it. I didn’t quite fit. Fears and questions about what Bryce saw in me reared up as I observed all the perfectly put-together people around me. That was another thing I had noticed. Everyone looked as if they had stepped off the pages of Jesus Today magazine. Graceful, classy, not a hair out of place, even as they danced and jumped to the music.

  I was generally pretty confident about my looks. Jake had done everything he could to erode my self-confidence, and if he’d stuck around he probably could have done a great deal more damage. Being with Jake was the most self-conscious I had ever been about my appearance. Until now. Surrounded by these perfect people. And, as I looked around more, I realized that it wasn’t just in the clothes or the hairstyles, the perfect makeup on the women and the neatly trimmed facial hair on the men. It was more something in how they held themselves, the same way Bryce held himself. As if they were untouchable. Unflappable. So sure of their place that the idea of questioning it would have been foreign.

  My thoughts must have been reflected in my expression, because when Bryce looked down at me between songs, the elation on his face faded. He leaned down and spoke directly into my ear, his warm breath raising goose bumps down my arms. “Everything okay?”

  I nodded. Fine, I mouthed, as the next song started, and forced my lips into the semblance of a happy expression. I turned toward the stage and started clapping, trying to keep in time with Stacy, who appeared to have perfect rhythm. From the corner of my eye, I could see that Bryce continued to watch me for several moments before turning his attention back to the music. Inside, I sagged with relief, though I kept clapping, not wanting to draw Bryce’s attention back to me. He didn’t need to be worried about my insecurities when he was sharing this part of his life with me.