by Leslie Scott
I ran toothpaste across my teeth with my finger and pulled my hair into a messy bun on the top of my head. It wasn’t my most attractive look, but it would work enough for me to hang out in the shop.
The evening before, I’d been too busy to notice the domestic state of Jordan’s house, my house too, now. Contrary to how it usually appeared, it was in complete disarray. From the mess, I figured he’d been working on at least a two-day drunk, maybe more.
With a crack of my neck, I set about putting things to rights. I picked up the living room and threw out the beer bottles and pizza boxes. I started the laundry since I was picking up more than he’d put away in a while. My mother would be proud to see me mopping and scrubbing.
A small red car at the shop caught my eye when I started to wash the dishes. It took me a minute to place it, but the small sedan belonged to my sister-in-law. My brother bought it for her not long after they were married. It was the car she’d begged for, then complained about the color of the interior.
My brother hated that car. He would borrow Breanna’s truck before he’d drive it.
Wendy was in the shop with Jordan. I had no idea why she was there, but I didn’t like it. It was a quick walk from the back of the house. I was building up an angry head of steam with each step and was bordering on a jealous rage by the time I took the last one.
The side door was open so that I could stand beside it and listen without being seen. I found, too, that I could see them both clearly in the reflection of the wheel that glistened by the door.
Wendy was dolled up in heels and a short skirt. The red top fit snugly to her body, accentuating an ample bosom and leaving little to the imagination. The clothing choice, heavy makeup, and teased hair made her look sad…not sexy as she’d intended.
“How can you say no?”
I bit my lip as she trailed her finger down the chest that I’d dug my nails into not long ago. I’d never been jealous, it was a new emotion for me. There was no other way to describe the heated tension beneath my skin. The new emotion warmed my cheeks.
Mentally I cheered when he swiped her hand away from his chest. “You’re married to my best friend, Wendy.”
She snorted. “My marriage is a sham.”
“Too bad Aiden doesn’t know that.” He turned from her and started slinging tools around in the tool box with such force it was obvious she was pissing him off.
“Poor, pitiful Aiden, he has all this and never did know what to do with it.” She pressed herself up against his back and ran her hands down his front. “But you would, Jordan.”
It took everything I had not to walk through the door and stomp her ass. But, I needed to know how Jordan would handle the situation.
“Get off me, Wendy.” He shrugged her off, his lip curling with disgust. “Desperate doesn’t suit you. You’re pathetic.” He was on a roll, I put my fist in the air in victory celebration as he rounded on her. Jordan Slater, angry, was a sight to behold. He pulled up to his full height, his chest out and his eyes narrowed with rage. “He’s too good for you. He always was. And what do you do? You beat him down and make him feel like shit. He’s given you everything and it’s never good enough. You’re less than nothing, Wendy. You’re a washed-up slut with no sense.” He tossed a grease covered rag at her. “Get the fuck outta my garage.”
“This is because of Raelynn, isn’t it?” Her voice went cold.
“Don’t you even say her name,” he growled dangerously.
When she reached for him again, I couldn’t stand it anymore and interceded. If she was dumb enough to not comprehend what he was telling her, it was time for an education. “You heard him, Wendy.” I stepped through the side door. “Or do I need to call Aiden?”
Wendy snarled at me, “You think you know everything.” The black mascara was clumped on her lashes and did little to hide the desperation in her eyes.
“No.” I took my place at Jordan’s side, interlacing my fingers with his as I’d done in bed the night before. “But, I know enough about you to know that Jordan’s right. You’ve never been good enough for my brother and this time I’ll make sure he knows what you’re up to. All I can hope is my niece grows up more like us than you.” I wanted to hit her. Only Jordan’s strong arm pulling me close stayed my hand.
“You killed him!” She shook with hate as she launched her volley. I flinched and absorbed the shock of it, even though it was meant for Jordan. “You killed him and fucked the woman he loved the most. And suddenly you get self-righteous about Aiden?”
“Get, the—” My words were stolen from my lips from a very familiar voice.
“—fuck out of here, Wendy.” My heart froze in my chest. The sunlight behind him cast golden flecks into the dark hair that fell into his face. There was pain in his eyes, though not surprise. My brother wasn’t stupid. “I won’t have you talking to my family like that.”
If Jordan’s voice had been dangerous, the low sound that slid from my brother’s lips was deadly. On his hip, my nephew’s blue eyes were wide with apprehension.
“Fuck you, Aiden,” she spat and stomped out of the garage. We all stood, shell shocked, as she peeled from the driveway tossing gravel. She hadn’t even looked at her child.
“Molly?” I asked him.
“With Mom.” He nuzzled Luke’s curls.
I turned to Jordan, pressing my face against his chest. “She’s wrong.”
He said nothing and held me tight. Whatever passed between he and my brother, I couldn’t see, but Aiden’s free arm wrapped around both of us. I turned and pulled Luke’s face to mine and kissed his cheeks.
“Can you help Mom with the kids?” Aiden asked me as he handed the little guy to me. “I’m going to get our shit.”
“I’ll come with you and bring the trailer. I’ll call Vic, and we can have you out of there tonight.”
“I’ll send Breanna to help when she gets home,” I added. My sister would be all too happy to get rid of Wendy.
Jordan kissed me once, gently on the lips, and loped after my brother.
“It may not seem like it, but this is the best day ever, kiddo,” I told my nephew as he played with my hair. “Today the rest of our lives begins. And you know what? You and your sister will have the most amazing life. Aunt Rae will make sure of it.”
“Rae!” He squealed and wiggled in my arms.
Everything would be okay, I had to feel that way. I wouldn’t let Wendy poison the happiness I’d found.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
I should be happy. Wendy would be out of Aiden’s life now, mostly. I would stay with Jordan and start my life in earnest. Everything was falling into place for me like I always hoped it would.
Yet, a melancholy had settled over me. Aiden had tried and failed at marriage. His children would be raised by a loving father and grandparents, most likely without their mother. They would have family and know the love of the family, but I doubted Wendy was going to stick around. It wasn’t her style. She might have even gone after Jordan so that Aiden would leave her.
Aiden would live with the knowledge that he’d failed. Although he hadn’t, not truly. I knew because I’d thought the same thing when I’d left and when I’d come back. Even now, having lost Devin who we cared so much about, I didn’t feel like we’d won anything.
I wasn’t as happy as I should be. It seemed a heavy price had been paid for my happiness.
That night my parents’ small kitchen was packed with people and noise. It reminded me of how it was when we’d all been younger. Jordan and my dad stood on the far side. Both leaned against the bar with beers in their hands, surveying their surroundings. Mom flitted between the stove and the fridge, trying her best to cook enough food for all of us. Aiden sat at the table giving the baby a bottle, while his son smacked a toy car on the highchair top. The scene was warm and pleasant, leaving me happy and content as I sat next to my brother.
Hadley and Breanna came in the backdoor, bags in hand. More beer, I imagined. Vic sat ac
ross from my brother and tossed the occasional small scrap of paper napkin at him.
“So, I take it this means I’m couching it for a while?” Breanna asked as she plopped at the table and opened a beer. As the youngest, she would be the one relegated to the couch if I were still living here. “Or are we gonna bunk together like kids again?” She tipped her bottle at me.
Jordan caught my eyes from across the kitchen. I had a moment of sheer panic that I’m sure he could see. What if he’d changed his mind? Had he changed his mind?
His brows disappeared under his cap in question of my panic. No, he hadn’t changed his mind about me staying with him. I didn’t have to consider the offer, I’d already made up my mind. If he wanted me there, I was going to be there.
“Nah, after a day or two we can go back to the trailer, she was already gone when we got there to get my stuff.” With a practiced ease, Aiden moved the baby to his shoulder to burp her.
“What you need to do is go talk to the lawyer first thing Monday morning.” Mom spoke from her stance over the spaghetti sauce on the stove.
“It would be easier for you to stay here.” Breanna took a sip of her beer. “More help with the kids so you aren’t running yourself ragged.”
“Yeah, but I’m not going to put y’all out like that. My kids, my family. I’ll figure something out.”
Everyone had taken Jordan’s presence with me in stride, so I figured what I was about to say wouldn’t be too much of a shock. “You can have my room. I won’t be needing it.”
Hadley was the only one to give me a curious look, before looking from me to Jordan.
“I can stay with Jordan.”
Surprise etched on Breanna’s face. “No shit?”
“Breanna!” My mom swatted her with a towel.
“No really,” she said, ducking the terrycloth blow. “Y’all worked things out?”
“Something like that.”
From beside my dad, the corner of Jordan’s mouth twitched. My father, took it in stride managing a shrug that mirrored my brother’s. It was as if neither had ever expected anything else out of Jordan and me.
When my dad caught me looking, he finally spoke. “What? I was glad you didn’t wind up pregnant at sixteen, as much as you mooned after him. From that point on, I was good with whatever.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Dad.”
“You’re welcome.” He winked.
When Molly fussed in my brother’s arms, Jordan took her and slipped out the back door. I followed him, marveling at how small the baby looked against his chest.
“Too hot and too loud in there, huh, kiddo?” It was endearing to hear him call her that, to hear him cooing at her as she settled down. “There we go,” he whispered and kissed her head as she gurgled her way to sleep.
“You look good like that,” I told him.
“Yeah?” He laughed as he started pacing to keep her sleeping. “Her brother was the first baby I ever held.”
“Really? You’re a natural.”
“Yup, usually they scare me. Until Aiden had one. Then it was like hanging out with a tiny Aiden.”
As simplistic as it was, it made perfect sense to me. “Yeah, I see that.”
He stopped walking long enough to drop a kiss on my lips, and she started to fuss again. Without missing a beat, he started back moving across the porch to keep her happy. She already had all the men I cared about wrapped around her little finger.
The amount of love in my heart at that very moment made it easy to forget anything bad that had passed between me and Jordan.
Emotion hit me like a truck, sending me reeling so that I had to hold onto the rail to keep myself anchored to the porch. I could see him holding our own daughter when we had one, cradling her to his chest as he cradled my niece. His niece too, as Aiden and Jordan were the closest thing to brothers either had.
“What are you thinking, Rae?” Jordan asked me as raucous laughter rang out from the kitchen. I gave a wry smile and shook my head. Some things weren’t ready to be said, not yet, not when this was so fresh and new. “Whatever it is, I say yes.” He kissed baby Molly’s hair.
“Just like that?”
“Yeah, anything that makes you look that happy is something I want to be a part of.”
His words freed my heart from the melancholy I’d had. I snuggled against his side, enjoying the warmth of him and the soft, breathy sounds of my niece sleeping on his chest. We stood there for a long time and watched her sleep, not going in until we were called for dinner.
That night as I packed a bag for Jordan’s, my brother was popping up the portable crib in my room for my niece. So much could change in twenty-four hours. I’d had that thought repeatedly the day after Devin had died. It had been a terrible, crushing blow. Now it meant something completely different. These changes were welcome ones. Life was like that.
“I keep thinking that it should be messed up that everyone is happy that I’m getting a divorce,” Aiden mused as he put the finishing touches on the crib.
“I’m sort of sad that it’s happening.” I folded a shirt twice in contemplation. “Though, more so that it didn’t work out for you and for the kids. I have to admit to a certain level of relief that you’re done with her.”
“Yeah, me too.” He laughed and looked down at his sleeping son. “I got the two best parts of my life from her, though.”
My lips curved as I kissed his cheek. “They are pretty great.”
“I’m glad you worked it out with Jordan.”
“Don’t listen to him, he’s glad he gets this room all to himself.” Breanna leaned against the door frame and spooned a heaping mound of ice cream into her mouth. “And I’m glad you aren’t moping anymore.”
We both glared at her.
“What?” She drew the word in the air at our expressions. “You’ve both been moping for a while. I’m relieved it’s over.”
“In her way”—I laughed and nudged my brother—“she just said she loved us and is glad we are both happy.”
“We love you too, Breezy.” Aiden was in good humor when she stuck her tongue out at him.
“Wow, he hasn’t called you that in years,” I marveled.
“She used to threaten me with death and dismemberment.” He gestured at his sleeping son. “I’m safe from that as long as I keep the kids near me.”
“I love you both.” I stopped as I passed Breanna and grinned impishly. “I’m going home. It feels weird to walk out of here saying I’m going home. This was always home.”
“It always will be.” Aiden pulled us both together in a group hug, Breanna grunting the entire time. “As long as we’re family anywhere can be home.”
He was right, but Jordan’s house was home too. That was my home now because Jordan was family too. My family. My home, my guy, my life. I wasn’t playing at it.
I was living it.
When I went to bed that night, I slipped into bed with the man I loved knowing that our love had been worth fighting for.
****
It took a few weeks, but Jordan and my brother managed to get the Malibu ready to run in The Street King Showdown. I was a little shocked the promoter wanted to finish it. Yes, racers crash, drivers get injured, or worse. All those things were part of the thrill of racing. But Devin had been our friend, he’d meant something to those at the heart of the street racing scene here.
It seemed wrong.
I confessed my doubts to Jordan as he put the finishing touches on the car.
“The profits made from The Street King Showdown fund the track’s bills for the entire year. So, the little guys, like Aiden, can keep their cars together and racing. Finishing it up, even late, is making that money. Add people’s morbid curiosity, should put the track well into the black.”
“It feels wrong.” I twisted the polishing cloth he handed me.
“It feels wrong because you’re afraid. It’s good for Arkadia, Raelynn.”
“Afraid?” I balked.
/> “Yeah, of going back and reliving it…of watching it happen again.”
I’d thought it would be the memories that got me. Until I met Jordan’s eyes and remembered how close I’d come to losing him. I was a Casey, that I feared the race had never occurred to me. I fought off the cold chill that settled across my skin with a shiver. “I don’t want to see it in my head happening repeatedly or to remember how close I came to losing you.”
“Me either.” He cupped my face and rubbed his thumbs across my lips. “So, I’ll look at you every time and remember you instead.”
“And win.” My last name was synonymous with being competitive.
He kissed me hard. “Well, yeah.”
“For Devin?” My throat was so tight I almost couldn’t say his name.
“And for us.”
****
Pulling into the track for the second coming of The Street King Showdown was much more nerve wracking than it had been the first time. There was a sense that we were missing an important part of our unit. There was no hope for a maybe next time. Our friend was really gone. Yet, life would always carry on. I slid my hand over Jordan’s as he pulled through the gate and into the pits.
A small crowd gathered around our rig as Jordan parked. Hunter, Vic, and others greeted us as soon as we stepped out of the truck. This too, was family, and it was healing. The tension slowly left Jordan’s shoulders while we unstrapped and unloaded the car.
We got to watch a few races too, to be spectators as other cars raced down the virgin surface backward toward the start line. The first part of the day was the round robins to fill the spots in the final eight that had opened with Devin’s death and one no show. A group of drivers paid the buy-in fee and raced in two different brackets. The winner of each bracket moved on to the big show.
I tried not to think about how easily our friend was replaced in this race. In truth, I tried not to think much of those first few races at all. I needed to find out if I could see the track without replaying the accident.
It wasn’t easy, but I could do it.