Always You: A Friends to Lovers Romance-Book 1

by Alexis Winter

  Luke lost his shit, “Why the hell do you always say shit like that? You think nobody else has any feelings? I don’t hook up with strangers Bridgette, I haven’t even gone out on a date in over six months but you’re too wrapped up in your world to notice that. You think I’m the same dumb 19 year old college dude that could be led around by his dick. I have standards but you’re so god damn judgmental and have your head so far up your ass you can’t see that!”

  She let out a long sigh and hung her head for a moment. “I’m sorry…you’re right that was out of line. I’ve asked you about your dating life but you never share anything with me anymore. It’s like you’ve started shutting me slowly out of your life and I don’t understand why.” Tears began to well up in her eyes, she did NOT want to cry, she promised herself she wouldn’t. “What did I do? I don’t understand.” She was wringing her hands and looking at her feet as she spoke.

  Before she could register what was happening Luke walked toward her, placing both hands on either side of her neck he pulled her towards him and pressed his lips to hers. She stood motionless, stunned at what was happening as Luke began to move his mouth against hers. His hand slipped around her neck and into her hair, anchoring her head in place as he kissed her softly. Her hands were awkwardly on his arms, still unsure how to respond. Her body felt electrified, her nipples were instantly hard straining against her bra as her breathing quickened.

  Luke pulled back and slowly dragged his eyes from her mouth to her eyes. She could see his pulse in the dip of his neck, she wanted to kiss him again urgently. Her hands moved from his arms to his chest, she balled his shirt in her fists and pulled him back towards her mouth. This time they were both fully engaged in the kiss. His tongue caressed her own as he hand slipped around her waist pressing her tighter against his rock hard body.

  She could feel the wetness pooling in her panties as he deepened the kiss. She had never been kissed like this before and she had certainly never had this kind of physical reaction to someone. She moaned into his mouth as her hands wandered further down his chest toward his belt, she wanted him.

  Her fingers fumbled with his belt but he quickly pushed her hands away and stepped back from her, breaking the kiss. He ran his hands through his hair in an exasperated manor and dragged them over the scruff on his unshaven face. “Bridge. Bridge we can’t, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t…I don’t know what came over me but you’re seeing someone and we’re friends and it would be wrong.”

  Bridgette stood there numbly for a moment, trying to grasp what just happened. She had come here to confront Luke and get clarity on their relationship but she was more confused than ever now and on top of it she felt like an idiot standing here being rejected once gain. She couldn’t even gather her thoughts enough to reply, she briskly moved past him to grab her purse and then stormed out of his apartment without a word.

  Bridgette made it just inside her apartment and fell against the door, tears began streaming down her face as she slumped to the floor. It had been almost 6 years, how was she right back in the same place she was in college? Emotionally exhausted and confused, she began to sob uncontrollably as she hurried her head in her hands. Would this pain and confusion ever go away?

  ❖

  Harper couldn’t help but notice the blank stare on Bridgette’s face as she punched and jabbed her way through tonight’s bootcamp. The class finished up and she made her way to the back where her friend sat on the floor fiddling with her shoe laces. The room had cleared out so Harper sat down next to Bridgette and let out a long sigh. “So…You going to tell me what happened?”

  “I really screwed the pooch this time Harper.” She flopped back dramatically on her yoga mat.

  “Okaaaay? Elaborate please.” Bridgette explained the events that had unfolded last night, making sure to keep the tears in check…for the most part.

  “Hold up, hold up. Luke kissed YOU.” She emphasized the point by thrusting her finger towards her friend. “This isn’t on you, you didn’t screw anything up! He knows you’re in a relationship and he still made a move, that’s pretty shitty to put you in that position.”

  “Harper I kissed him back, trust me I knew what was happening and I made sure to encourage it. I’m pretty sure I shoved my tongue down his throat while I reached for his belt! Which is when he promptly rejected me I might add.” She covered her face as she relived the embarrassment from last night.

  “So what’s the real issue here Bridge? Is it the fact that Luke kissed you when you’re dating another man? Or is it the rejection?”

  “It’s both but if I’m honest…the rejection really sucks. I mean why start something if you’re just going to reject me and make me feel like shit?”

  “Bridge I’m sure he realized after he started kissing you and things got heated that he was in the wrong. He didn’t have a right to make a move on you, you’re dating someone else. At least give him that.” Bridgette agreed, she knew she was reacting to her pride being hurt. “On another note…I KNEW he was in to you!!! Oh my god I so called it! So how was it?”

  Bridgette rolled her eyes in frustration, “Harper now is not the time. He’s not IN to me it was just hormones and rage trust me, it was a very tense situation. Honestly it just makes me realize how lucky I am to be with someone like Paul ya know? He has integrity and character and he would never fucking do something like that!” She stood up and grabbed her yoga mat, rolling it up furiously.

  Harper put her hands up, “Okay Bridge god! I understand your frustration and I’m sorry I made a joke out of it. You’re right, Paul is a great guy and if he makes you happy and treats you well then I think you should pursue things with him. Maybe it’s time you put some space between you and Luke, might be good for both of you and it certainly might be even better for you and Paul.” Brigette stopped in her tracks letting those words sink in. “Just something to think about Bridge. Now let’s go get some food.”

  Chapter 10

  “So have you spoken to Luke lately?” Harper asked as she took a bite of her pizza. It had been a few weeks since the kiss incident and the friends group had yet to resume it’s normal hang out practices.

  “Uh no actually, not at all. It’s weird I won’t lie but I think it’s for the better. So what’s going on with you? A little birdy told me that you hung out with Grant the other night…how was THAT?!” Both girls burst out laughing at Bridgette’s question.

  “It was nothing, just super casual. It was the night that you guys all canceled on us, we had nothing else going on so he just text me and asked if I still wanted to hang out…so we did.”

  “Oh yeah? Hang out huh?” Harper’s face flushed red as a huge smile spread across her face.

  “I’m serious nothing happened! We just hung out and had a few drinks and talked. Oh and by the way he said Luke isn’t doing great. He said he’s mopey and super ‘un-fun’ to hang out with now so I think you may have broke him.” She said as she lifted her beer to her lips.

  Bridgette rolled her eyes and dropped her pizza on her plate. “He’s an adult, he’ll be fine. And for the record, I have reached out to him twice and he didn’t respond to me so the ball is very much in his court. But tell me more, are you guys going out again? Did he kiss you?”

  The girls laughed and continued on with their night. Harper let it slip that she was crushing on Grant pretty hard and hoped that it might turn into more dates and that she’d keep Bridge informed if it progressed. They left the restaurant and headed outside arm in arm enjoying the still balmy summer nights.

  “Hey Bridge can I ask you something? Please, don’t be upset I just need to ask as your friend. Are you in love with Paul? Does he make you happy?”

  Bridgette took in a long breath, “Yeah, yeah Harper I’m happy. Things are going well and he treats me well. You have nothing to worry about.” She said as she patted her friend’s arm.

  “Good otherwise I’d have to kill him.” Harper nudged her friend back as they laughed an
d walked on through the night.

  It was still early when Bridgette got home, she sent Paul a quick message to let him know she made it home and that she was heading to bed early. She drew herself a bath, sprinkled in some lavender salts and lit a few candles. She just wanted to relax and let the last few weeks of tension and stress disappear. She dipped a toe into the water to test the temperature then lowered her body into the warm bliss.

  Harper’s question resonated in her brain…was she happy? She closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the edge of the porcelain tub. She let her mind wander, she wanted to be honest with herself but it was hard to face the truth. She knew she wasn’t happy, she knew Paul wasn’t the love of her life but maybe if she gave it enough time it could turn into more. It could turn into the kind of love Luke’s parents had. That happiness and fulfillment you could just see when they looked at one another. She wanted that more than anything.

  Paul was a great guy, he was kind and thoughtful. He was always so calm and collected, there hadn’t been a single argument in the several weeks they had been dating. It was all very…sterile. She didn’t know why that word came to mind but it was pretty accurate. She didn’t have the passionate arguments and heated conversations that she had with Luke and he definitely didn’t make her almost pee herself laughing like Luke did. Why was she even comparing them though? Why did it always feel like she was wondering what Luke would say or how he would react to situations she was in with Paul.

  She thought back to the night Luke kissed her, she could still feel him against her lips. The way he tasted lingered on her tongue even after she had stormed out of his apartment. She had never had the kind of reaction she had with Luke with anyone else. It felt like electricity ran through her entire body when his lips touched hers. When he had jokingly kissed her at the the reunion she didn’t have time to register what was happening, the kiss at his apartment was different. His intentions were clear last time, he wanted her.

  Her hands slipped below the water, she closed her eyes and let her fingertips go where they wanted. She lingered on her breasts, rolling her nipples between her thumb and forefinger as she imaged Luke sucking and nibbling his way across her chest. She knew she shouldn’t be thinking about him in this way, it was wrong. He was her best friend and she was dating someone else. She couldn’t stop, she didn’t want to stop.

  Her lips parted as her breathing quickened, she could feel her pulse pounding in her neck as her fingers slid lower down her body. She gripped the edge of the tub with her left hand as her right hand began to explore between her thighs. She slowly stroked herself, bringing to life every nerve ending in her body. She couldn’t help but whimper as the intensity began to build, she gripped the tub wall tighter as she grew closer and closer to the edge. Unable to hold back, she allowed herself to plunge into the abyss of pleasure as waves of ecstasy rolled through her body.

  ❖

  To say Bridgette was tense was an understatement, she gripped Paul’s hand in the cab as they headed to the guys softball game. It was the playoffs so tonight’s game meant a lot, even if Luke was still avoiding her she wasn’t going to miss it; besides, she missed hanging out with the group. Tonight’s stress though was brought on by the fact that she was bringing Paul to the game. She hadn’t been in the same room with him and Luke for several weeks and she was hopeful tonight would help mend some broken fences.

  The game was a close call, the guys managed to pull it off though with a two run homer in the top of the ninth and clench their spot in the championship game. The crowd erupted with cheers as the guys hugged on the field. Bridgette caught Luke’s eye on the field and offered him a shy smile with a wave. She felt her heart physically hurt when she saw the small twinkle in his eye, she missed more than she wanted to admit. He was her best friend after all, someone with whom she had conversed with daily for the past 10 years. He gave her a weak smile and head nod back, not what she’d hoped but she’d take it.

  Everyone gathered at their regular watering hole after the game and offered cheers and shouts of congratulations. Bridgette stood next to Paul and Harper chatting about their weeks as the guys strolled over to their table. She couldn’t help but notice Harper’s eyes light up looking at Grant, she hopped off her stool to give him a high-five when he pulled her in for a hug. Noticing the group’s reaction he quickly turned toward Bridgette and offered her a warm embrace as well, “Great to see you Bridge, been a minute.” He said with a wink.

  She turned towards Luke, “Congrats!” She said not knowing how to proceed.

  He gave her a tight lipped smile with a quick thank you before turning his attention toward Paul. “Paul so great to see you man, I’m sorry we haven’t had much time to connect before this.” He gave Paul a genuine smile and hearty handshake as they quickly launched into a conversation about the game.

  The evening carried on smoothly, Paul chatted with the guys and Harper was right along side him vying for Grant’s attention, casually touching his arm and throwing him flirty smiles every so often. Bridgette smiled to herself as she quietly stepped outside to get some fresh air. She closed her eyes and took in a few deep breaths, she was happy to see Luke being friendly with Paul and making an effort to make him feel welcome. She should want that right? Why didn’t she feel better then? She placed her hands behind her head and massaged her own neck hoping to relieve the tension. “Need some help?”

  She instantly felt flush hearing Luke’s voice behind her, she turned around slowly to see him leaning against the doorframe of the patio. She wanted to hug him, to tell him that she wants everything to go back to how it used to be. Instead a slow smiled spread across her face as he pushed off from the door frame and walked toward her. “I’ve missed you sweetheart.” She looked up at him as he pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear.

  “I’ve missed you too.” She said as he pulled her in for a long hug. Neither of them spoke for a few moments as they basked in the familiarity and comfort of one another. Luke ended the hug and stepped back from her about to speak.

  “Bridgette?” Just then Paul stepped out on the patio. “Sorry to interrupt but I’m needing to get home, my shift starts early tomorrow.” He pointed to his watch as he spoke.

  Bridgette was about to respond when Luke squeezed her elbow and made his way back toward the inside of the bar, “Great to see both of you, have a great night guys. Thanks for coming out for the team.” He gave a quick wave and then disappeared back inside.

  “I called an Uber, he’s almost here so we should head out front. Let’s walk around the building, it’s a little too crowded in there.” The trip back to Paul’s place was quiet, Bridgette stared out the window completely lost in thought. “He’s in love with you.” She whipped her head around to meet his gaze. “Don’t tell me that surprises you. It’s obvious the way he looks at you.”

  Bridgette’s heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest. She didn’t know what to say, “Trust me Paul he only see’s me like a sis—“ before she could finish her statement he interrupted.

  “You’re in love with him too Bridgette.” Her eyes filled with tears as the Uber came to a stop in front of his building. He thanked the driver and the exited the car, stopping on the curb. She stood staring at her feet not sure how to proceed, “Bridgette I’m not angry. In fact, I could see it between you two at the reunion. I didn’t know the story between you two but I wasn’t going to not take a chance on you. I’ve loved spending time with you, you’re an amazing woman but I can see that I’ll never have your heart because someone else already does.” She didn’t know what to say. She apologized for leading him on and wasting his time but he assured her that he knew what he was getting in to and that he didn’t regret one second of the time he spent with her.

  The Uber he called her arrived and she gave him one last hug before climbing in the back. “Hi ma’am, you didn’t have an address in your destination, where are you headed?” She didn’t even think twice before answering with Luke
’s address.

  Chapter 11

  Once again Bridgette found herself showing up to Luke’s apartment unannounced. As the Uber pulled up in front of her building it registered with her that he might still be out at the bar. She headed inside his building and smiled at the doorman, making quick small talk about the evening. He knew her so well he never even rang Luke to see if he was expecting her. He opened the elevator and waved a goodnight to her as the doors closed. She cracked her knuckles nervously as the elevator climbed to Luke’s floor. She hadn’t even thought about what she was going to say to him, oh god what was she doing?! Was she really going to tell him she was in love with him again? The elevator doors opened and Bridgette froze, her stomach still felt like it was on the first floor.

  She knocked softly on the door, praying he wasn’t home. She waited for what felt like an eternity before turning in relief to walk away. The door sprang open as Luke stood shirtless in low slung pajama bottoms and soaking wet hair. “Hey sorry I was in the shower, what are you doing here?” He had a look of confusion but also excitement on his face as he ushered her inside. She couldn’t help but stare at his impeccably defined abs, the V of his obliques perfectly accentuating his very low slung pants.

  “Uh..umm, uhhh.” She stumbled to try to find the right words, to find any words! “I was hoping we could finish our conversation from earlier I felt like it ended abruptly.”

  “Where’s Paul?” He asked casually as he ran his hands through his wet hair and made his way to the kitchen. “You want some water?”

  “We just broke up.” Luke’s back stiffened a little at her response but he didn’t turn around as he responded.

  “Why?” He asked as he reached for the refrigerator door.

  “I’m in love with you.” She knew she had to just spit it out or she would never have the courage to say the words. Luke stopped dead in his tracks, his hand on the door handle of the refrigerator.