Letting Go
Page 6
She’d appeared out of the crowd and placed a featherlight kiss on her neck, accompanied by a sexy low growl. Laura felt a rush of lust sweep through her. Kelly stood for a while with her arm around her while they talked and flirted with each other. A few times, they’d kissed briefly. Kelly was going on to a party and then heading off for the weekend. They made plans to see each other the following week.
Jude had, of course, observed all this and looked away in disgust, but Laura was unconcerned.
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* * *
Kate had come into the café at around nine. She passed close by Laura’s table as she headed toward he bar, but Laura was engrossed in a conversation and didn’t notice her. Kate couldn’t relax. She kept looking over at Laura. The past week had been extremely difficult for her. She’d thought of a hundred ways to approach Laura and a hundred things to say, but she had no confidence that there was anything she could do. Laura seemed to have made up her mind and she was obviously strong-willed.
Laura was standing near the bar when a tall blonde woman dressed in black leather pants and a red and white striped shirt came over and put her arm around Laura, kissing her.
Shocked, Kate stood there watching this scene with Laura and the other woman. Who was she? Kate wondered. Laura had told her she wasn’t involved with anyone. But maybe now she was?
Kate’s fists were clenched and her heart was pounding. She felt like screaming. At last the other woman left. At least Laura wasn’t leaving with her, she thought. Maybe she’s just a friend fooling around, Kate imagined hopefully. Still, it looked suspiciously like a lot more than that. She’d thought that a night out would do her good, but she felt desolate and decided to leave. She didn’t want to go home, but she couldn’t stay there any longer, looking at Laura yet forbidden to speak to her or touch her. She drove around for a while, found a café, had a coffee, and then after a couple of hours, resolved what she would do. 65
* * *
Laura arrived home about eleven thirty. She’d enjoyed the evening but didn’t want to spoil it by staying out too late after such a hard week at work. She put on some music. The relaxing strains of Chopin’s Piano Concertos sounded good after the thumping disco music at the bar. Then she had a hot shower, preparing for bed. She was just getting a glass of water when her intercom buzzed. Who on earth could that be? she thought as she went to answer it, it couldn’t be Kelly.
Her heart skipped a beat when she heard, “It’s Kate, Laura. I’ve got to see you.”
Laura felt flustered. She’d just managed to convince herself this week that this problem would go away. She answered gently, “Kate, you know the situation. We agreed to not see each other for a while.”
Kate responded firmly, “No, Laura. You said we shouldn’t see each other. I didn’t agree.”
Laura was now feeling anxious. “Please go home, Kate. I’m sorry I can’t invite you in. It’s for the best, believe me.”
But Kate evidently had nothing to lose and everything to gain and was clearly going to hold her ground. “Laura,”
she said, her voice tight with anger, “if you don’t let me in now, I’ll stay down here all night pressing this buzzer. I mean it.”
Laura could hear that Kate did indeed mean it. She thought half-heartedly that maybe she could talk some sense into Kate. She pressed the button releasing the security door. She then opened her apartment door, waiting for Kate to come up the stairs.
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Laura felt a tug at her heart when Kate appeared the doorway. Her hair was braided, and Laura thought it looked gorgeous like that. Her skin was radiant, and there was a determined fire in her eyes that made Laura feel nervous, yet also made her want to sweep Kate into her arms and kiss her.
Kate looked at her and Laura felt conscious of her state of near undress. She tightened the belt on her silk robe. Laura drew her eyes away from Kate’s intense gaze and headed toward the kitchen.
“Would you like a coffee?” she called over her shoulder, trying to hide her nervousness.
“Yes, please.” Kate closed the door and followed her in. Laura was rapidly thinking of what to say as she set about filling the espresso machine and placing cups on the dividing bench, when Kate suddenly blurted out, “Who was the woman at the bar?”
Laura nearly dropped the sugar bowl. She realized instantly that Kate had been at Sisters and seen Kelly. “You were at the bar? Why didn’t you come and say hello?” This was, of course, an unfair question. Laura would have nearly died if Kate had done that.
“You looked pretty busy to me,” Kate said bitterly. “You told me that there wasn’t anyone in your life at the moment, and you wanted to keep it that way. Was she just a friend?”
Laura was naturally honest and in any case, she had too much regard for Kate to lie. “No, Kate, Kelly is more than a friend. But I’m not actually involved with her—not emotionally anyway. You know the sort of thing.”
But Kate clearly didn’t know. “What do you mean?” she asked.
Laura looked at Kate’s open, innocent expression. For 67
the first time, her purely sexual liaison with Kelly seemed a bit tacky. She felt oddly ashamed to have to explain it.
“Look, Kelly and I are physically attracted to each other, that’s all. Neither of us wants a relationship at the moment; we don’t have those kinds of feelings for each other. It’s very casual, no strings…you know.”
Kate gaped at her as if she couldn’t believe that Laura would rather sleep with a woman she didn’t care for than with her. She was silent for a few minutes, struggling, no doubt, with images of Laura and that woman together. Laura had prepared the coffee and had everything on a tray on the bench to take into the living room. She squeezed past Kate, who was blocking the opening between the kitchen and the living room.
Kate had been studying the floor and when she looked up, her eyes were filled with tears. Laura couldn’t bear it. Instinctively, she put her arms round Kate and held her close.
“I’m so sorry, Kate,” she whispered. “Why can’t it be me?” Kate’s voice was thick with emotion.
Laura closed her eyes. Oh God, help me, she prayed silently. “Because you’re too special, Kate,” she replied inadequately. “I couldn’t be that way with you.”
Kate’s arms were around her tightly, her face resting on Laura’s shoulder. “It’s because you think I’m a child. You think I’m not mature enough for you.”
Laura was acutely aware of the strength, the softness and the desirability of the woman in her arms, and she said emphatically, “I think you’re way too young for me, but I certainly don’t think you’re a child.”
Suddenly Kate kissed her. It was an urgent kiss, and Laura’s mind went blank. All she was aware of was an 68
overwhelming, utterly irresistible desire. She was falling helplessly out of control. Her heart was pounding, and the ache in her body was almost painful. Her compassion for Kate had taken her across the line, past the point of no return. Her arms tightened around Kate, and she returned the kiss deeply and passionately. Minutes passed, then Laura gently drew herself away from Kate’s hungry mouth. She looked at Kate for a moment, and without a word, she took her hand and led her upstairs to the bedroom. Maybe later, Laura thought vaguely, she’d be able to find a way to keep this relationship under control.
Laura drew Kate down onto the bed, lying beside her, leaning up on one elbow. She looked at Kate and traced a finger along her cheek and down her neck. She leaned down and kissed Kate’s face all over, sensuously with the lightest delicate touches of her tongue. Kate reached up and slid Laura’s robe off her shoulder, revealing one breast. Kate made a tiny inarticulate sound as she drew her fingers along her shoulder, down to her breast in a featherlight caress. “I don’t know what to do.”
Laura kissed her, then leaned back a little and smiled.
“Oh, I think you do,” she said in a low husky voice.
“I really don’t know, Laura…I haven’t done this before.”
Laura was completely taken aback. Kate had never mentioned a past relationship or affair, but Laura had assumed that even at her tender age she would have had some experience. She openly led a lesbian lifestyle and seemed to have many lesbian friends. If it hadn’t been Kate there with her, for whom she felt so much, Laura would have gotten up and politely suggested she go and do her experimenting elsewhere.
As it was, Kate’s sweetness and vulnerability tore at her 69
heart. She looked into Kate’s liquid brown eyes and felt a hot, weakening rush of desire for her. She swallowed the lump in her throat. “You don’t have to do anything, baby.”
She unbuttoned Kate’s shirt and admired Kate’s full, firm breasts. She took one small pink nipple into her mouth and teased it with her tongue, making Kate writhe with pleasure. She then removed Kate’s jeans and panties and, slipping off her robe, she lowered herself onto Kate’s body, to feel all of her against her skin. Breast to breast, thigh to thigh, their mounds of soft dark hair pressed together. Their breathing was fast, their hearts pounding and their soft moans were only suppressed by their long slow kisses.
Kate had never felt this way in her life. She could hardly believe these exquisite sensations. Laura moved her lips from Kate’s mouth to trace around one erect nipple, circling it with her tongue, then the other, exploring and tasting. With a tiny cry, Kate moved under Laura. She felt a sudden painful rush desire and her wetness increased.
“Oh, Laura…” she breathed. Laura reached down with one hand and stroked the silky skin on the inside of Kate’s thighs. Kate was in agony. She needed Laura’s more intimate touch. She couldn’t wait any longer. She moved her hips in invitation. Laura planted kisses down across her stomach, tiny electrifying strokes of her tongue. Then her mouth found the silky wet place Kate was aching for her to taste. Kate gasped, arching her hips as Laura’s stroking sent her into a fever.
This was a whole new experience for Kate. Her previous unsatisfactory experiences with a man hadn’t 70
included this kind of sensual intimacy, and she’d never in all of her fantasies about women, particularly about Laura, ever imagined it could feel like this. She was floating above herself, her whole body seemed to be filled with honey, and only her hips moved slightly in rhythm with Laura’s strokes. When Laura entered her at the same time, Kate suddenly felt her stomach muscles tighten, and her whole being became a concentration of sensuality. A few moments later, she was overtaken by the powerful moment, and her body convulsed in ecstasy.
Kate was trembling, breathless. Laura kissed her face and her closed eyes with such gentleness that it nearly made her cry. Kate reached out her hand to her. “Laura...” It was all she could manage to say, and she looked at Laura in wonder. Laura took her hand and kissed it.
It wasn’t long before Kate wanted Laura again. She felt even greater desire, increased by her heightened sensuality. All her earlier hesitancy was gone now, and sitting up, she confidently pressed Laura onto her back. She knew what to do. She kissed Laura’s mouth passionately, tasting herself on Laura’s lips. She moved her lips and tongue against Laura’s mouth in the way she’d felt Laura’s mouth on her, between her thighs. It was teasing and erotic, and Laura groaned in sweet lustful agony as she pulled Kate onto her, holding Kate’s hips and pressing herself into her.
“I want to make you feel as wonderful as you made me feel,” said Kate. “I want to make you happy.”
“Oh God, you already have, baby,” Laura breathed. She seemed close to orgasm, and she took Kate’s hand, placing it where her need was urgent. Kate was entranced with Laura’s incredible wetness, and she moved her fingers carefully, learning from Laura’s responses how to give her 71
what she wanted. She looked down into Laura’s beautiful face. Her eyes were closed, her moist lips parted, her skin flushed and misted with a light dew of perspiration, and Kate eperienced in an enlightening moment, a new sense of empowerment from being able to give such pleasure and happiness to her.
Laura saw Kate lower her mouth to her breast. She teased her nipple with her tongue then sucked it firmly. Laura’s hips suddenly thrust upwards as she was overtaken by the powerful force of an orgasm that left her shaking and gasping for breath. While the tremors were still pumping through her, she felt Kate’s hair brush across her stomach, then the melting warmth of Kate’s mouth between her thighs, her tongue sending new currents of pleasure coursing through every inch of her. Laura felt her body dissolve, and her mind was a helpless blur as again she came. This time it was even greater than before. She hadn’t felt like this for many years. Not since Alexandra. She lay there trembling as Kate came to her and nestled her face into her neck. She was dimly aware that what she was feeling for Kate was a awful lot like love. She blinked back the tears that threatened to flow, and held Kate tightly against her.
“You taste wonderful,” Kate murmured in her ear, her hand already reaching down along Laura’s body, exploring, wanting more.
Laura couldn’t say anything for a while, and she lay still just stroking Kate’s hair. Soon though, Kate’s sensual touching, and the warmth of Kate’s body in her arms, had Laura wanting her again. Looking into Kate’s eyes, she said 72
with a smile, “And you said you didn’t know what to do.”
They made love for hours. For a long time it was sensitive as they explored each other, but later it became more passionate, urgent and emotional. Kate was insatiable, and Laura was totally enraptured with her. Eventually, in the early hours, they fell asleep in each other’s arms, exhausted and contented.
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Chapter Eight
Laura woke late the next morning. She looked into Kate’s peaceful sleeping face, and her body responded instantly to the sensual images that at once filled her mind. She was also aware of an overwhelming sentimentality, and she resisted the urge to lean across and kiss Kate’s closed eyes. Carefully, without disturbing her, she moved a thick lock of shining hair back from Kate’s face. She’d untied Kate’s braided hair during the night, and it was now spread out across the pillow, brushing Laura’s shoulder. As she looked at her, Laura realized just how dangerous her feelings for Kate, were. Last night, she’d felt completely out of control. She’d known for weeks that if she allowed things to progress to this point, she’d be in danger of falling in love with Kate. This was everything she’d tried to avoid. 75
Her fears for the future were unchanged, but in spite of them, she felt a glow of happiness.
If I’m sensible, I can prevent this from going too far, she decided, then neither of us will be hurt. Kate stirred but remained asleep. Laura slipped quietly out of bed and had a shower.
When she emerged a short time later, Kate was awake and as soon as she saw Laura, she smiled and extended her arms. “Come here,” she demanded seductively.
Laura looked at Kate’s beautiful body against the white sheets and couldn’t resist her. She dropped her towel on the floor. She lowered herself on top of her and sighed with pleasure as all of her body at once made contact with Kate’s skin. Kate’s hand immediately moved down to the hair above Laura’s thighs, still damp from the shower. Her fingers moved swiftly to the warm, already wet place aching for her touch and were soon gliding inside her. Laura moaned with pleasure and began kissing Kate’s neck, face and mouth. She couldn’t get enough of this girl. With one hand she reached down across Kate’s firm stomach and found Kate’s thighs were apart, waiting for her. She teased and stroked Kate’s silky wetness, entered her, then stroked her again. They moved against each other’s hands in perfect rhythm, slowly at first, but with increasing urgency until, in a rapturous moment, they came. Laura collapsed beside Kate, and they lay like this with their hearts pounding in unison and their arms wrapped tightly around each other. Soon Kate was kissing Laura’s shoulder with sexy little nibbles and whispering her desire for more. With great difficulty, Laura removed herself from Kate’s arms, kissed her, and implored her to stop tempting her.
“Please, darling,” Laura said. “I’ve got to meet my friend Jude at the market this morning. She’ll be looking for me in about half an hour.”
Kate just looked back at her with her liquid brown eyes, unfocused with desire. “Stay a bit longer, I’m aching for you…please…” she begged.
“Oh God!” Laura groaned, as she felt her desire building again. She got off the bed and picked up her towel from the floor. “Kate, you’ve got to help me,” she said with a smile.
“Get out of that bed, put on my robe so I can’t look at your gorgeous body anymore, and make us some coffee. I’ve got to get ready to go.” Without waiting for Kate’s response, Laura disappeared into the dressing room.
The aroma of fresh coffee was tantalizing. Laura came down the stairs and found Kate in the kitchen pouring coffee and making toast.
“Thanks, just what I need,” Laura said, as she accepted the cup of coffee Kate offered.
“You don’t mind my making toast, do you?” asked Kate.
“I thought you might be hungry”
“Of course not.” Laura smiled. “I’d better eat something. Thanks.”
As Kate turned away to take out the toast, Laura’s gaze wandered all over her shapely body, showing clearly through Laura’s silk robe. She really was lovely, and it was hard to resist putting down the coffee and taking Kate in her arms again.
Impulsively she asked, “Do you want to come with me? You’ll have to hurry, though.”