Unraveled_Undone

by Jennifer Dawson

  When he shifts in his chair I see there’s a silver circle at the center. He hooks his index finger into it and tugs before whispering something I can’t hear in her ear.

  She closes her eyes as she listens to him.

  The words slip into my mind, unbidden. Uninvited. Unwelcome.

  I want that.

  I look away.

  And catch Chad watching me with a peculiar expression on his face. Watchful. Thoughtful.

  I don’t like it. I feel like he’s caught me, like I’ve revealed something to him. I drop my gaze to stare into my glass. I don’t want to witness any more of what I feel is a private moment. But the picture they make is too compelling and I can’t help but turn my gaze back to them.

  Leo strokes her cheek. “You go have fun.”

  “I will.”

  He kisses her again, deep and soulful, and when he lifts his head, he takes her hand and says, “Up you go.”

  Jillian stands and grins at Layla. “You ready?”

  “I am.” Layla turns to me. “Come on, let’s go.”

  I shake my head, not trusting my own voice. The last thing I can do is dance.

  Layla holds her hands in a prayer. “Pretty please.”

  I pick up my drink and shake it, shoving my emotions down where they belong. “Give me a minute, then I’ll join you.”

  Michael slips a hand on Layla’s thigh and squeezes. “I’ll make sure she doesn’t fall into any evil clutches.”

  As if. I’d think I was a ghost if people weren’t talking to me.

  Layla doesn’t take her gaze off me and I can tell by her expression she’s concerned. “Promise?”

  “Promise.” It’s a lie. But there are a thousand promises she broke to me when she was in the worst of her depression; I feel I’m owed this tiny one.

  Her brow furrows, but then she hooks her arm in Jillian’s and off they go.

  Michael turns to Leo, his expression pained. “At least you take good care of her.”

  “Always.” Leo raises his glass and they toast.

  “Just make sure I’m far away when you… do whatever it is you’re going to do.”

  Leo nods. “I’ll wait until you’re upstairs. But you’ll need to give me at least an hour.”

  “Done,” Michael says.

  An hour? What could possibly take an hour?

  Brandon slips into an empty chair and juts his chin in their direction. “Even marked they’ll have to beat the boys away with a stick.”

  Michael and Leo don’t look too worried.

  Suddenly, Brandon glances in my direction. “And what about you, girl?”

  My stomach drops. “What about me?”

  He smirks. “Are you interested in trying anything out?”

  I shake my head vehemently, trying in vein to will the flush spreading over my skin to cool.

  He laughs. “When they’re busy, how about I at least give you a tour?”

  I don’t want to contemplate being alone, but I don’t want to be an obligation either. I clear my throat. “Oh, well, thanks, but I know you’ve got a lot going on tonight, and I don’t want to be an imposition.”

  “Not at all. It will be my pleasure.”

  “I couldn’t.”

  He pins me with a hard-eyed stare. “I insist.”

  Any additional protests die on my lips. “All right.”

  “It’s settled then.” He gives Chad a look. “You can come too, but Mandy has her eye on you, and she can be very persuasive.”

  Chad shrugs. “We’ll see.”

  The girl in question comes up and passes out drinks. She gives Chad a doe-eyed look and runs a hand down his arm. “Do you require anything else, sir?”

  Chad grins at her. He looks boyish and not at all menacing. “What did you have in mind?”

  Mandy bats her lashes. “I’d love to give you a personal tour.”

  He raises a brow. “Any place in particular?”

  I find I have a sudden urge to scream at her that I’m right here. But why? Maybe I’m perturbed at her presumption that he couldn’t possibly be with me.

  She lowers her head in a demure fashion that seems feigned, not at all like the feeling I get from Jillian and Layla. “Wouldn’t you rather be surprised?”

  “Let’s play it by ear.” His expression is affable and charming, but I don’t want to think too much about the relief I feel at his noncommittal answer.

  She flashes him a brilliant smile. “I promise I’ll be very good.”

  “Isn’t it time for you to get back to work, Mandy?” Brandon points to the group off to our left. There’s a man on the floor on all fours, naked except for a pair of tiny shorts and a woman that has her high-heeled boots digging into his back. I wince.

  That has to hurt.

  Mandy’s spine snaps ruler straight. “Yes, sir.”

  She walks away.

  I grind my teeth and hide my clenched hands under the table.

  I don’t want to look in Chad’s direction, but I find I’m unable to help myself. Somehow I’m not surprised to find his gaze on me. His eyes are blue. The crystal-clear blue of summer skies. He’s intent, direct and unflinching.

  Something that feels suspiciously like tension thickens the air between us.

  I want to look away. Need to look away.

  But I find I can’t.

  “Jesus Christ,” Michael says, breaking the hold Chad has on me.

  I jerk my attention away and nearly choke when I spot Layla and Jillian dancing together.

  Leo laughs. “You can’t say Layla doesn’t have an interesting sense of humor.”

  Michael mutters something under his breath and rakes his hand through his hair. “She is going to pay for this.”

  I suck in my breath a little shocked.

  Jillian and Layla are dancing, their bodies close, their hips an erotic sway in time with each other. They look like sex.

  Brandon grins. “For our sakes, I certainly hope you’re not going to break them up soon.”

  “Shut up, Brandon,” Michael says.

  Leo shrugs. “You won’t get an argument from me.”

  Their hips brush together.

  Their arms draped around each other.

  Their breasts touch, then part, then touch again.

  I heat and flush, and even though I’m not partial to women, they make such a gorgeous sight it’s hard not to become hypnotized by their slow, sensual dance.

  They are clearly putting on a show, smiling at each other, flirting.

  There’s a crowd starting to gather around them.

  The thin strap of Layla’s dress slips off her shoulder and down her arm, dipping the fabric of her dress perilously low.

  Leo kicks back in his chair and watches. “My girl does like to put herself on display, and I hate to deny her.”

  Layla’s top slips down, flashing her breast before she raises her hands above her head and the fabric falls back into place. Jillian runs her hands down Layla’s waist.

  Someone whistles.

  The crowd seems to press in on them.

  It’s sexy. And erotic.

  I’m straight and in that moment I want them. Want to be them. Want to fall into that special place they seem to go where they forget everything.

  I know why they are doing it.

  They want to be seen.

  They want their men to see them.

  They want to be taken in hand.

  A secret part of me longs for that feeling, that magic I seem to be missing.

  The music grows and crests, matching the pounding rhythm of my heartbeat.

  For a moment, just a moment, I allow myself to imagine being there with them, stirring lust in the hearts of others, making people want me. Losing myself in the music.

  My breath quickens.

  I’m captivated.

  The song ends, and that suspension in time evaporates into the ether.

  Michael and Leo both crook their fingers.

  And I’m left cold
.

  Layla

  I’m breathing hard. I look at Jillian and wink. “I think we caught their attention.”

  “I’d say so.” Jillian grins, smoothing her hand over her red dress. “Along with half the place.”

  Leo and Michael crook their fingers in perfect synchronicity, beckoning us to them.

  I take a deep breath. “We’re going to have to pay now.”

  “I hope it’s worth it,” Jillian says.

  I really don’t know what Michael will do to me, but I’m not naive. I’m wanting something. I’m not the exhibitionist Jillian is, but I do like a good public claiming. Usually Michael and I play our public games privately, in the corner booth at restaurants, slipping off unseen at parties only to return, my hair a bit too messy, my lips a bit too full. But tonight isn’t for that.

  The whole purpose of this kind of party, this kind of night, is to be seen. And I want other men to want me. To wish they were Michael.

  “You ready?” Jillian asks.

  “I am.”

  We walk together, and the crowd parts for us as we stride toward our men, waiting for us with dark, commanding expressions on their faces.

  I’m almost hyperventilating by the time I’m standing in front of Michael. When I stop I give him a little wave and say in a breathless voice, “Hi.”

  He gives me a wry smile. “Having fun, sugar?”

  “Yes.” I tilt my head toward Jillian. “Your sister is a good dancer.”

  He crosses his arms. “Are you looking for a girl to fuck?”

  “No.” I straighten and give him a smile. “We were dancing.”

  He knows I don’t have any interest in girls. I don’t have any interest in anyone but him. I wanted to tease him. For fun.

  He’s playing a good game, but he understands this. There was a time when I’d forgotten how to tease, how to have fun, how to live. I’d been a shell going through the motions of life, living like a ghost.

  He’d changed all that for me.

  Every day I test a little more, expand my boundaries and my limits. I remember who I am and who I want to be.

  He cocks a brow. “So you decided to put on a show with my sister, is that it?”

  I bite my lower lip, trying to look innocent. “Maybe it was a little twisted.”

  “Not from where I stood, darling girl,” Brandon says helpfully.

  I beam at him. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t pull that innocent act with me.” Michael’s tone is no-nonsense. He means business.

  I try not to melt into the floor.

  “And what do you have to say for yourself?” Leo asks Jillian.

  “We were just having a little fun,” Jillian says, batting her lashes at him.

  “At your brother’s expense?” Leo asks.

  Jillian presses her lips together and I know she’s trying not to giggle. “That’s what little sisters are for.”

  Leo laughs and shakes his head.

  Michael scowls, but his lips quirk in what I know is amusement. “You’re lucky she’s my sister, or you’d be making good on what you were doling out. But you’re safe from that with her here. So we’ll need to take this private.”

  I don’t say anything. From a wealth of experience, talking will just make matters worse.

  Michael tilts his head and gives me a speculative once over. He cocks a brow at Brandon. “Is that room ready?”

  “It is,” Brandon says, but I don’t even glance at him.

  I gulp. It’s time. Nerves race through me. Followed quickly by excitement that slicks my thighs.

  I want this so bad. For him to take me this way. It’s not that I’m even into bondage. It’s just that I want to reclaim the horrible night that changed the course of my life forever. I want to obliterate its power over me.

  More important, I don’t want Michael to have to be careful with me anymore. I don’t want him to have to worry about triggering a panic attack if he gets too forceful, I don’t want him to have to hold back for me.

  As much as he’s empowered me, I want to empower him in return.

  Maybe it’s too much to ask, I don’t know. But I want to find out.

  “Are you ready?” Michael stands and looks down at me. I remember the first time I looked up at him, he seemed to go on and on, and his shoulders had blocked out everyone in that club but him. Even back then, when he’d terrified me, I’d known he was safe.

  Known he was meant for me.

  Unlike that first night, I take his hand, and raise my lips to his. “I am.”

  Jillian

  As I watch my brother and Layla follow Brandon, I experience a sudden tremble of nerves. It was all fun and games when Michael was here and I was protected from Leo’s plans. It’s not so much that I want protection, because I want to be pushed tonight, but this is something new. Something unfamiliar.

  Leo will test my boundaries, and his own.

  Michael and Layla’s presence delayed the inevitable and gave me free rein to indulge my most depraved fantasies without having to contemplate too much of the reality.

  Leo stands, looks me up and down, and sighs. “What to do with wayward girls?”

  I give him my most playful smile. “I’m sure you have some ideas.”

  “I do.” He glances behind him and says, “You’d better move your drinks.”

  I gulp as Ruby and Chad swipe their glasses off the table with alarming speed.

  Leo steps aside and points. “Get on the table, Jillian.”

  I stare at the surface in terrified horror, my nerves getting the better of me. In the year we’ve been together, Leo has pushed my exhibitionist buttons many, many times but they have always been safe. We have an agreement that nobody will ever touch me—because neither of us wants that. It’s a hard limit as they say—but he’s still determined to fulfill these little twists of mine.

  He’s let Brandon watch me in the privacy of our own home.

  He’s taken pictures of me.

  Fucked me in places where we risked getting caught. Taken me in public, tucked away in some dark corner, his hand over my mouth to quell my screams as not to interrupt the strangers not far away.

  I’ve loved it all. Especially since he’s always there, protecting me, guiding me. I shiver. Watching me.

  And, I can’t deny my rather telling fantasies of being forced on display, as he well knows. But now that reality is upon me, I’m suddenly not sure I’m ready to come face-to-face with my desires.

  I freeze in my spot, staring at the table as though it might reach out and grab me.

  “Now.” Leo’s tone is a bark propelling me into action.

  I climb on and meet Ruby’s wide, stunned eyes. Right there with ya, sweet cheeks. I can’t believe this either.

  “Facing me,” Leo says.

  I swivel until I face him, kneel and blink up at him.

  There’s already a crowd starting to gather, both men and women. All dressed in black, white, pink or red in honor of the Valentine’s theme, all watching me with intent, interested gazes. My stomach jumps, heats. I gulp.

  I shift my attention to Leo, my anchor. I lick my lips. “Leo?”

  He strokes a finger down my cheek and lowers his head until his lips touch the shell of my ear and whispers, “Haven’t you been wanting something just like this?”

  My throat tightens, but I manage to squeak out. “But. You?”

  I can’t help thinking of that time, not so long ago, where Leo pushed himself past his own limits trying to give me something he thought I wanted and how it almost ended us. Not that I have that worry now, because we are stronger than ever, and our bond is unbreakable. We made a promise to each other that night he sang under my window to always communicate and we’ve kept our promise.

  But I’m still scared. Scared it doesn’t excite him as much as it excites me. I know how he is, how much he wants to give me what he thinks I need, even at the expense of his own comfort.

  I don’t want him to do something he
doesn’t want.

  It’s not worth it.

  He brushes his mouth over mine and strokes a finger over my cheek. “Trust me.”

  “I do,” I say, because I trust him to do right by me. I just don’t trust him to do right by himself. I wind my arms around his neck and pull him close, so nobody can overhear what we’re saying. “But all I need, is you. I don’t need this to be happy. I’m already happy.”

  He squeezes me tight and whispers back, “I know you are, Jilly. You’ve been working so hard at school and you’ve been such a good girl. I want you to have this.”

  When I start to protest, he takes my hand and presses my open palm to his hard cock. “Does it feel like I don’t want this?”

  I curl my hand over his erection. “No.”

  “Trust me.” He takes my hand and puts it around my back. “We have one hour and the only reason I’m allowing this is because it’s a closed, private party with limited people. So enjoy it now. You may not get the opportunity again.”

  My lashes flutter open and I take in the gathering crowd behind me, some of them I know from other events, some of them I don’t. But if Brandon has them here, I know they are safe. Leo is giving this to me, it’s his present, and he sounds sure. It’s only right to surrender to his will. I nod. “Okay.”

  His teeth scrape over the line of my jaw. “Give them a show. Make them want you.”

  Then he stands back, and assesses me like I’m up for auction. All my trepidation fades away and a new type of nervousness takes its place. Filled with anticipation and excitement. Before Leo, I never understood how that was possible, to be simultaneously scared and turned on, but I’ve learned it’s a powerful cocktail.

  He taps my legs. “Open.”

  I comply. While my dress looks like pure latex, the skirt is pleated and loose, made from a stretchy material that allows maximum give.

  Leo gives me a hard-eyed stare that makes me shiver with lust. He looks at my splayed thighs. “More.”

  My legs open obscenely wide and I can feel the air brush against my wet, slick, wanting folds. I can already feel the beginning of that special place I go to where I no longer fight. That switch being flipped in my head that makes me up for anything.