Penance (Long Slow Tease, #2)

by Mayburn, Ann

  “Actually, no. She’s driven, there’s a difference. Being scary is just a way of hiding weakness, of trying to bluster your way through life. Trust me, I’m an ER nurse and I’ve dealt with more than my fair share of egotistical assholes that lose their shit when they’re faced with something they’ve never seen before. Dr. Sapphire doesn’t intimidate people to shut them up, she intimidates them to get them to do their damn job. Quite refreshing, actually.”

  Wyatt looked down into his cup of coffee, then back up to the ruins of the hospital again. A steady stream of helicopters was now transporting victims from a nearby field. His mind flashed back to watching the choppers come in with wounded and for a moment the heat of the desert washed over him and he gasped as he swore he saw a blue sky surrounded by nothing but sand and rock. The shock was so great his grip convulsed on the Styrofoam coffee cup, crushing it. The heat splashing over his fingers brought him back to the present and Marsha grabbed his hand.

  “Hey, you okay?”

  He blinked at her for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”

  Looking closely at him, she slowly nodded and released his hand. “Dr. Sapphire said you were…sorry…are a Marine and you served overseas together. First, thank you for your service, second, thank you for volunteering like this. We need more people like you as first responders.”

  Overhead another chopper flew off into the pre-dawn sky and he tracked it before returning his attention to Marsha. For some reason he found it easy to talk to the woman. He didn’t know if it was because he’d been going to therapy or what, but his need to close down and pretend nothing was bothering him wasn’t as strong. “I don’t feel like I did much tonight.”

  “Overwhelming, isn’t it?” She shook her head and pointed to his sandwich. “Eat.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Though I’ve never been in a battlefield situation myself, I have been an ER nurse for a long time and let me tell you, I’ve seen some shit that haunts me to this day.” She went silent for a moment then met his gaze. “You and me, we’re the ones that people turn to when everything around them is falling apart, because we’ve already been through Hell and come out the other side. Not without scars and demons of our own, but we survived it. Do you know how many newbies I had to use smelling salts on tonight? How many people, trained medical professionals, went into hysterics? More than I care to admit. You did good tonight, Wyatt.”

  He shrugged, uncomfortable with her praise. “I wish I could have done more.”

  “Don’t we all?” She stood and stretched. “Now, Dr. Sapphire has been in triage for about ten hours straight now. We have more help pouring in all the time and we can cover her absence. You need to get her out of there and into bed, no matter what she says. If you need some chloroform let me know.”

  He stood as well, his body aching. “I might have to. She can get awful ornery.”

  Marsha walked with him back to the tent. “You know she loves you, right? That’s why I thought you were married. She talks about you the way a wife talks about her husband. I don’t know you and I know it’s none of my business, but I just thought you might like to know that.”

  A small ember of pleasure burned in his chest, helping to push back the darkness. “Are you saying I should ask her to marry me?”

  Marsha smiled at him. “Now that would be just downright rude and presumptive of me, wouldn’t it?”

  Laughing, he stopped outside the entrance. “It was nice meeting you Marsha, but I need to call and arrange our ride out of here.”

  She patted his cheek. “You’re a good man, Wyatt. Take care of her for me. Michelle has my email address, drop me a line sometime. I’d love to have you and your lady over for a barbecue with my family.”

  “Thanks, I’m sure we’ll take you up on it.”

  Marsha waved and Wyatt used his satellite phone to get ahold of Greg. The SUV was still in the parking lot with the keys in the glove box. He told Wyatt to take it back to the armory, that Dawn had already caught a ride home but that he was going to stay a bit longer to help with some gas line issues. After hanging up, Wyatt stripped off his stained coveralls and went into the tent.

  It was a very different scene from when he’d last been inside, a lot more organized and less of a frantic pace. There were still patients coming in, but nothing like when they’d first arrived. He soon found Michelle sitting next to a sleeping young girl clutching a pink bunny. On the other side of the young girl’s cot sat a woman who he assumed was the girl’s mother, they both had similar facial features. The mother had a bandage wrapped around her head and she kept touching the little girl, stroking her hair and looking down at the sleeping child before glancing back up at Michelle as if she was afraid the little girl was going to vanish before her eyes.

  Michelle spotted him first and his heart ached at the dark circles he saw beneath her eyes. She stood and for a moment he was afraid she was going to start crying, but instead she smiled at him, a real smile, and something in his heart eased. While she certainly looked tired, he didn’t detect any signs of emotional strain. Fuck, she certainly looked better than he felt.

  “Wyatt,” Michelle said in a voice filled with warm pleasure. “I was wondering where you were.”

  Without thinking he grabbed her up in a hug, lifting her feet from the floor and burying his face against her neck, deeply inhaling the faint traces of her perfume. She smelled clean, so beautifully and wonderfully clean. Instead of protesting his tight grip she wrapped her arms around him and cradled her head against her neck. Stroking his hair, she murmured about how much she loved him, how she was so proud of him, and how he’d helped so many people today. These were all the things he wanted to say to her, but as always, Michelle was so much more eloquent than he could ever hope to be. It was funny how she was one of those people that seemed to thrive under high pressure situations while he could only take so much before he started to crack.

  She grabbed a fistful of his hair, sending a pleasurable pain tingling through his nervous system as she not-so-gently jerked his head back so she could look at him. He didn’t know if it was the strain of the night or what, but the part of Michelle’s soul that made her a Domina was at the forefront and he shivered beneath her gaze. When she looked at him like this he felt stripped bare and bleeding raw, totally open to her and hoping she wasn’t disgusted by what she saw. An infinitely gentle warmth softened her gaze. Closing her eyes, she leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his.

  “Ready to go home?”

  The rest of the world faded, the voices and crying becoming nothing more than a soft roar like the waves of the ocean. He clung to her, his rock, his strength, the one thing in the world solid enough to keep him from being swept away by the madness that seemed to constantly hover around him like an enemy that never tired, looking for a way into his soul. A hard shudder gripped him and she made a soft, soothing sound.

  “I don’t know about you, but I could use a shower. Let’s head back and clean up, then you can make me something totally fattening and loaded with calories.” She laughed and rubbed her nose against his. “Or maybe we can just grab a box of doughnuts on the way back. Nothing sounds better than falling asleep in your arms right now.”

  Chapter 19

  Wyatt woke up with a start, his heart racing a thousand miles a minute and sweat coating his body. The remains of the nightmare still clung to him and he gripped his head in his hands, trying to force the remains of the horrible images from his mind. He’d been back in the parking lot of the hospital, looking for Michelle. People all around him were screaming and crying out for his help, but he didn’t know what to do to treat their injuries, didn’t know how to help them, but if he could just find Michelle he knew she’d be able to care for them. He’d managed to push his way through the throngs of walking wounded to the edge of the lake by the hospital and for a brief, terrifying moment he saw Michelle’s face before she sank beneath the dark waters.

  Fear like he’d nev
er experienced had flooded him and he’d jumped into the lake, swimming to where he’d seen her go down. He dove beneath the surface and managed to grab her, or at least he thought it was her. Instead it had been men and women he’d lost on the field of battle, each begging him to save them but he had to let them sink back beneath the surface, had to let them go so he could try to find Michelle. The final terror that had scared him awake was when he’d pulled someone above the water and when he looked down he was looking at himself, but an evil, terrible version of himself. This monster Wyatt had been full of mindless rage, an animal growling and gnashing his teeth, all humanity gone and nothing but a terrible beast left behind.

  “Wyatt?”

  He started and looked over at Michelle, the sunlight seeping in around the edge of the curtains, giving the room a soft amber glow. Just the sight of her sleep-softened face, her eyes not quite focused filled him with a desperate need to touch her, to feel the warmth of the skin, the life flowing through her. He needed her, needed her to take away the bad memories, needed to lose himself in her with a desperation that bordered on insanity.

  Something must have shown in his face because she sat up, clutching the white sheet to her chest. “Wyatt? Are you okay?”

  His first reaction was to say that he was fine, not wanting her to worry about him, but he realized in an instant that he was at a crossroads in his life, a moment that could change things between them forever. “No, Domina, I’m not. I need you. Please help me.”

  Tears welled in her eyes, then she took a deep breath and gave him a brisk nod. “What do you need, Wyatt? The pain or the pleasure?”

  “I need…you. My Mistress, my Domina, my everything.” He shivered as the memory of his crazed face came to mind. “I need you to make it go away.”

  She didn’t ask what he meant, instead sliding from the bed then kneeling down and pulling out the toy bag that he’d brought with him from Chicago. As soon as she opened it she would realize that he’d only packed a few things to be used on her, the rest were toys for her to use on him. While training with Petrov he’d found himself thinking about Michelle using all the different BDSM devices on him, on ways to please her through his submission. That was why he wouldn’t allow Michelle to look in the toy bag, not as a way to mentally establish his control, but because once she did she would realize how desperate he was to serve her again.

  She remained kneeling next to the bed, only the top of her sleep-mussed blonde hair visible for a long time. When she finally stood his breath caught in his throat as he took in the bottomless strength tempered with soul deep compassion that was at the heart of who Michelle was. This, this is what he wanted, what he needed, his woman exerting her control over him, taking her pleasure from him, giving him the satisfaction and…rightness that only came from giving her everything he had.

  Even though she was dressed in a t-shirt of his that hit her mid-thigh, she exuded more dominance than some of the Mistresses he’d met in Chicago dressed in their full BDSM regalia. Blood rushed to his cock in a ball-tightening pounding and he had to clench his hands into fists to keep from reaching for her. His mouth fairly salivated at the thought of licking her pussy, of losing himself in her.

  In her left hand, she held a black leather flogger with eight inch falls. A beautiful piece of craftsmanship that he’d bought for her. Just the thought of her using it on him made him so fucking aroused that his cock jumped between his legs.

  “Wyatt, I want you standing facing the wall with your feet spread. You will place your palms above your head and not move until I tell you. Am I understood?”

  He quickly obeyed, moving so fast that he got momentarily tangled in the sheets before he could free himself. A quick glance at Michelle showed she wasn’t paying attention. Instead, she was bending down and looking through the bag again. He placed his hands on the cool wall and pressed his forehead against it, spreading his legs and bracing himself. God he loved this, loved anticipating her touch, loved knowing that his submission aroused her on not only a physical level, but also emotionally.

  From behind him came the sound of her pleased murmurs, and it was a struggle not to look, to see what she was selecting for him. Wetting his lips, he sucked in a harsh breath when her feather-light touch caressed his back, tracing the pattern of the tattoo. It had been painful as hell to sit through the multiple sessions required for such a big back piece, but he’d silently endured, each moment of discomfort his gift to his woman.

  “I like the toys you picked out for me to play with,” she said in a soft voice while continuing to touch him, her gentle caress awakening his body.

  “Thank you, Domina.”

  “Tell me, when Petrov was training you, did you think about what it would be like to be on the receiving end of all those delicious torments? Were you jealous of the submissive that got to be taken to such wonderful places with those painful toys?”

  “I…yes and no.”

  She gave his ass a brisk slap that did wonderful things to his nervous system. “Explain.”

  “I wasn’t jealous of the submissives that I trained with, because I had no desire to let anyone but you do those things to me. It was only when I imagined your hand wielding the flogger, your touch on my body that I’d get hard.”

  Reaching around his waist, she grasped his cock and began to stroke him with slow, excruciating strokes. “After the sessions, did you touch yourself and think about me?”

  “Always.” He grit his teeth, trying to fight back the need to come already. “Domina, I won’t last long.”

  “Yes, you will, Wyatt.” She cupped his balls and he snarled. “But since you’re so close to the edge already, I think we’ll need to do something to help your lack of self-control.”

  Her heat left his back and he knew better than to turn and watch her, but damn he was tempted. His thoughts raced as he tried to imagine what she would do to him, demand of him, and even though his mind was going at a thousand miles an hour his body was strangely relaxed. In fact, he felt oddly comfortable, like this is the way things were supposed to be. While he’d enjoyed the sexual aspect of topping Michelle, it never felt natural. Not to say he wouldn’t torture her with orgasm denial until she screamed for mercy if that was what she needed, but he would never do it for his own pleasure.

  A moment later her slender hands wrapped around his cock and he looked as much as he could without moving his head. He had a brief glimpse of a black rubber cock ring before she wet one of her hands and lubed him up with her spit and slid the tight band down his cock. That little bit of rubber would keep him from ejaculating until she allowed it, giving her the chance to work him into a frenzy before granting him his release.

  He couldn’t fucking wait.

  She released him, and a moment later, the soft thud of the falls of the flogger brushed over his ass, warming his skin and drawing his attention back to his body. He could see her in his mind, the way her expression would become at once cold and intense, how her lips would thin as she focused on his body, on his reactions. Starting slowly at first, she worked him to the point that the slap of the falls on his ass actually hurt, but he planted his hands on the wall and fought the need to flinch away from her hits.

  Her strikes picked up until he was pretty sure she was twirling the flogger against his skin, an almost constant brushing that was at once annoying and wonderful. The first burst of adrenaline and the amazing hormones his body released to counteract the pain filled him, scouring his blood, sending him deeper into his physical self, making him ride the waves of intensely arousing pain. His breathing picked up and he thrust his ass out, wanting more, wanting her to own him, to take him, to make him hers over and over again until she never doubted who he belonged to again.

  Sweat broke out over his body and he grunted as she flicked the flogger between his legs, catching his balls and making him flinch.

  “You are so beautiful,” she said in a soft, almost reverent voice.

  He couldn’t respond, too overc
ome by emotions. When the sting of the flogger didn’t return he sagged slightly, trying to control his breathing so he didn’t sound like a winded horse, but it was next to impossible. He startled when something cold drizzled down the crack of his ass, then groaned loud and long when her slender fingers began to work the lube into his anus. The startlingly pleasurable sensation of her playing with his ass felt so fucking good that he found himself arching his back, needing more, needing her to take him. The only thing he could even begin to think about was his body and he was eternally grateful to Michelle for the gift of clearing away all the bullshit, of replacing his fear with her love.

  “I’m going to use one of the toys you picked out for me, Wyatt. You did a good job selecting this vibrator, something that will please both Mistress and slave.” Her voice took on a hard, hungry edge. “I’m going to fuck you with this lovely strap on until I can’t come anymore. You’re going to feel me orgasm against you again and again, but I’m not going to allow you your release. I want you mindless by the time I’m done taking your ass, begging and pleading for the privilege of your climax.”

  “Shit, please,” he whispered, not sure if he was pleading with her to fuck him, for her to orgasm, or for her to allow him to come.

  The low hum of the vibrator filled the air and she grasped his butt with one hand. “Bend. Give it to me.”

  He took a step back and thrust his ass out at her, widening his stance so she could have better access to that sensitive part of his body. Without preamble she lined the vibrator up with his anus and began to push in. The initial burn was more intense because he hadn’t been stretched out first, but that only made it all the more pleasurable in a fucked up way.

  She slapped his ass, hard, over the skin already sensitized by the flogging. “Relax, give yourself to me, Wyatt. Please your Domina.”

  “Fuck,” he groaned and tried to do what she asked, but the burn inside and out made it difficult.

  “Fine, you want to fight me then I’ll just take you.”