In a Book Club Far Away

by Tif Marcelo

  Adelaide’s tears turned into a waterfall of sobs.

  “Oh my goodness, Adelaide.” Sophie turned toward the passenger seat. She reached across the first row and clasped her hand.

  “It’s just.” To Sophie she said, “I’m fine. Everything’s fine.”

  But Adelaide’s sobs continued. This was a woman who never had a hair out of place. Her emotions were never too extreme.

  “Adelaide?” Regina asked.

  Adelaide hiccuped. “It’s just that… I hear my mama in my head all the time, during the good times, but especially when things aren’t going well. I had a plan, still have a plan, about a family, and the last few months I realized that maybe, God, that I may not get it. But spending time with you both, and with Olivia and Carmela, and now I’m going to be a godmother. I just realized that it’s… it’s still heartbreaking, but it’s also okay, and also joyful. You two have helped me accept. Being with you both, with your kids, Sophie, and you growing yours, Regina, has helped me heal a little.”

  Regina had all but forgotten about her ice cream, and she felt the first trickle of melted chocolate on her hand. “I don’t know what to say, Adelaide.”

  “You don’t have to say a thing. This is a good cry. This is me accepting, a little of myself, and your offer. Of course I will be this child’s godmother. I will be there, one hundred percent. Even if we lose touch, this child will always have me.”

  Regina scooted up in her seat and wrapped her arms around the passenger seat and somewhat around Adelaide. It was awkward and made them both laugh. “Less than a year ago, I didn’t have any friends, and now, I have you both. How lucky am I? How lucky is my baby?”

  Regina heard a beep, and both sides of the automatic minivan doors slid open. Then her friends climbed out of the driver and passenger seats, and stepped into the van’s second row and hugged her from each side. She felt herself relax into their embrace. She allowed the joy of the moment into her heart and cherished that momentary feeling of perfection, that she had these friends, soon she’d have her husband home, and shortly after would be able to hold her baby.

  Regina pocketed that feeling when they returned to their apartments, and as she made her welcome-home meal menu. The next day would be a grocery day, to pack her cupboards with Pop-Tarts and salt-and-vinegar chips and Coke Zero.

  But her smile extinguished the moment she saw her husband’s crestfallen face on Skype later on that evening. “What’s wrong?”

  “I have to tell you something.”

  Her heart plummeted. Of course, of course. Didn’t she know by now? Nothing was easy; along with the good, the bad always lurked nearby. But she kept her smile, because she was jumping the gun, right? She and Logan had spoken almost every night during deployment—their relationship had reached another level. Regina’s admiration for Logan had grown; their friendship had been rejuvenated.

  He rested a hand behind his head. “There are rumors, Regina. I’m sorry. It’s a whole big mess, and I swear. I swear to you, they’re all untrue.”

  His plea was like a crowbar to her heart, threatening to unhinge it from her chest. “What rumors? What are you talking about?”

  “They’re saying—”

  “Who’s saying?”

  “The commander… said that there are rumors being circulated, about me and another soldier.”

  “What?” she whispered, watching his lips move, not fully understanding what he was saying. She brought her hand to her heart, then lower, to her belly.

  “But none of it is true.” He started to cry then. There were tears on this man who never showed pain, never complained. He was coming unglued. “There’s nothing wrong with making friends, is there? I mean, just because we had meals together. If I spent the same amount of time with Torres or Hayworth, no one would’ve given it a second look. C’mon, it’s Chandler. She’s just a friend.”

  Regina took in all of it. She had no choice but to listen, because Logan didn’t stop speaking. He explained all the times when he and this Chandler spent time together. And all Regina could think was: Why hasn’t he mentioned any of these moments?

  And her prevalent thought…

  “Who is she?” she asked. “What’s her first name?”

  “Becka.”

  “Becka as in Rebecca?” He was calling her by her nickname? “But, but if you’re just friends, why haven’t you mentioned her?”

  In the back of her mind, within the deep folds of her intuition, whispers of warning trickled in. She recalled her mother and father fighting. Her father begging, always asking for forgiveness, and her mother predictably listening and accepting. There was so much shame in a marriage breaking up. It wasn’t supposed to happen in Filipino families, and her mother pretended for so long that their relationship could be fixed.

  “I… I don’t know. Because it’s no big deal.”

  “Obviously someone thought it was a big deal. Do you know who spread the rumors?”

  “I’ve got suspicions. But I don’t want to talk about that.” He had calmed down; he scraped his hand down his face. Her husband looked so tired. He’d lost weight, his wedding ring no longer resting at the bottom of his finger but sliding toward the knuckle. “The worst part of it was that no one gave me a chance to explain myself. The commander and XO literally got me into the office and then told me that I was going home.”

  “Captain Chang?”

  “No, not even him. The big boss. The battalion commander and XO. It skipped Captain Chang altogether. Otherwise, I might have—I mean, I know he would listened. But I tried. I told them that it wasn’t true, that I shouldn’t be punished for something that’s hearsay.”

  Regina was knocked back into her seat, and the confusion cleared into fear. Adultery was a crime punishable under UCMJ, under military law. “You can get in serious trouble for this.”

  “That’s the thing. They’ve got nothing on me.” His face neared. “I would never. Not to you and especially not to our baby. I know that we fight, I know we don’t get along sometimes, but we’ve been golden since I left, haven’t we? We’ve worked it out. I never have, and I never will cheat on you. And now that I’m being watched, I need you, babe. You’ve got to believe me.”

  She looked at her intertwined hands. At her wedding band, embedded in her swollen finger. She remembered the promise she made with this ring, and how, when her father didn’t keep his own promise, she had suffered as a child. And now she was going to be a parent.

  She couldn’t act irrationally. She looked into the screen, into his hope-filled eyes. And she saw the man she fell in love with, the father of her unborn child. She had to believe him—she needed to trust him. “I believe you.”

  But now, a shadow had been cast over her perfect day. Someone had gone above and beyond to threaten her livelihood and marriage, someone who didn’t give either one of them the benefit of the doubt.

  Regina made it her priority to find out who this person was.

  PART SIX

  Some things you got to release.… The more you hold them in, the worse you get.

  —The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  Regina

  Present Day, Tuesday

  Regina zipped up her windbreaker and pulled on her hood to protect herself from the hostile wind, but she exhaled a sigh of relief as she stepped out of the town house for Just Cakes. Getting Genevieve down for bed had been tough. The honeymoon period was over between her and the toddler, apparently. Earlier, at the playground, after Regina had switched shifts with Sophie for Adelaide’s discharge, Genevieve had refused to leave with Regina, despite coercion attempts, and she had a meltdown. At dinnertime, Gen launched her pasta bowl to the floor. And when her mother arrived from the hospital, groggy and exhausted and unable to play, Genevieve threw a tantrum that Regina could only describe as like a hurricane.

  Then again, if I were her, I would be throwing a tantrum, too.

  Perhaps Genevieve fel
t the stress of her mother’s pain. Children were infinitely wiser than grown-ups assumed they were. Miko had been only three when Logan finally moved out—though they’d been sleeping in separate rooms for over a year—and she remembered his bout of insomnia and separation anxiety.

  Her Apple Watch beeped with a call.

  Speaking of Miko…

  She slipped her wireless earbuds into her ears, then accepted the call. She looked both ways and crossed the street. “Hey, sweetheart.”

  “Mommy, Lola says I have to eat all my vegetables.”

  She found a bench across the street from Just Cakes to sit on, slinging one leg across the other and stuffing her hands in her pockets. “I hope you ate them.”

  “I didn’t. I told her that you don’t make me eat my veggies so I shouldn’t have to do it while you’re away.”

  “You said I don’t make you eat veggies?”

  “Yes.” He harrumphed.

  She dipped her chin to her chest. She was going to get it from her mother, for sure. He wasn’t lying—she didn’t make him, but that was because sometimes it was easier just to sneak them into his food. She didn’t want to spend their precious time together fighting. Especially since he preferred hanging with Logan more and more these days.

  “Well, you know that when Lola’s in charge, you have to do what she says. It’s her rules.”

  “But whyyyyyy?” he whined.

  “Miko.”

  “All right,” he said finally. “I’ll eat them.”

  “Anything else?”

  “Dad called me. He told me to tell you hello.”

  “That’s nice. What are you guys planning this week?” Logan had taken leave for the rest of the week to take Miko.

  “We’re going camping.”

  “Great. That sounds great.” With these words she smiled. Actually, physically smiled in hopes that it made it to her voice.

  Regina was grateful that Logan was attentive, that he was a good dad. That he paid attention to when Miko’s school and social events were, and attended them when he wasn’t out in the field. Miko was the only reason Logan continued to try to get stationed in Georgia, since, after she’d left active duty, it was the easiest place for her to settle. He understood that their son needed stability and found pockets of years when he worked within at least a few hours’ drive away.

  Still, sometimes she was jealous of their small bonding moments. If she and Logan had worked out, it would’ve made everything so much easier, for all of them. Right now, with how much Miko clamored to spend time with him, she wished she was a part of that fun, too.

  She pulled herself out of her meandering thoughts. “Speaking of, sweetie. Ask Lola to help you pack, okay? Since you’re going camping, I don’t want you to forget anything. You can’t just pack T-shirts and your LEGO sets and one flip-flop like last time.”

  He laughed, and she imagined his bright, wide grin. “Okay, Mom.”

  “Okay.” Regina caught a whiff of sugar, a reminder of her appointment, and she turned, facing the storefront of Just Cakes, across the street. An outline of a figure passed through the front windows. Her insides fluttered.

  “Mom?”

  And then her flutter crashed into the door of her conscience. Miko was part of her package, and she’d soon have to address it if this crush with Henry grew. Which meant she couldn’t let that flutter get out of control.

  No one could be above Miko.

  “Yes, babe.”

  “Are you having fun?”

  “Me? Yeah, sure, but I’m not here for fun. I’m here to help your Ninang Adelaide out.”

  “Can’t you do both?”

  “I can, I suppose.”

  “Do you know what Daddy said?”

  Her next words came out wryly. “What did your father say?”

  “He said that you two had so much fun once.”

  The statement stunned her. Logan had said those same words to her long ago, during a fight. She’d accused him of being irresponsible, and he answered back that she’d lost the ability to have fun.

  “Is that what he said?” She clicked on the messages app on her phone, to Logan’s last text, which was a short thread about their camping logistics. She shot him a text:

  You told our son that we had fun once?

  I mean, did we not?

  Not cool to disrespect me in front of our child.

  How was that disrespect?

  Logan.

  Reg.

  She took back her previous wish that she and Logan had worked out. A good father did not equate to a good partner.

  She mustered a sweet tone for Miko. “Well, honey, you just remind your daddy about all the fun you and I have on Friday movie nights.”

  “I will. We do have so much fun.”

  “Yes, we do.” She stood then, catching sight of Henry at the doorway. He was leaning on the doorjamb, staring right at her, hands in his pockets. All at once, her heart jumped in her chest. “I’ve got to go, okay, hon? I’ll call you later.”

  “Bye, Mom.”

  She took off her earbuds and tucked her devices in her pocket. Henry straightened and walked curbside as she crossed the street. Oh, to have a man greet her like this every day.

  Henry’s smile was genuine, he wore that apron so confidently, and he smelled so sweet—from the sugar he worked with, undoubtedly—that she suddenly craved him. She wanted to touch him.

  So she did, leaning up for a hug. “Hey.”

  After a moment’s hesitance, his arm linked around her waist, and the strength of his hold, lifting her lightly, took her breath away. “Hi. I’m glad you made it.”

  After he set her back down, she swooned ever so slightly. “Me, too. Is your event over?”

  “It is. You have perfect timing. You ready for some sugar?”

  Why the idea of baked goods turned her on, she didn’t know, but her face heated with pleasure. “I am.” She followed him into the bakery, where she was greeted by a dimmed room with candles lit at every round tasting table. Twinkle lights were draped across the ceiling, casting a romantic glow. Soft jazz music piped through the surround-sound speakers. “Oh, wow.”

  The kitchen door swung open, and a woman stepped out, untying her apron. “So I’m heading out. Henry, don’t forget to…” She startled. “Oh, hello, there.”

  Regina stunned, said, “Wow, hi. I’m Regina Castro.”

  “Carolina Just.” Carolina took her hand, a smile on her face. She was the female version of Henry, though an inch shorter. She had the same orange-red hair, the same pink cheeks, and the same warm demeanor.

  “I… I know.” Regina covered her mouth with a hand. “I’m sorry, I’m a little starstruck. You once made a six-layer Doctor Who cake with all the doctors included.”

  “Thank you. It was a feat, so I’ll take the compliment. I’m pleased to meet you, too, Regina. So you’re the reason why my brother insisted on taking over our IG account.”

  “Okay, sis, don’t you have to go?” Henry said.

  She laughed. “Yes, yes. I, too, have a rendezvous.” She took off her apron with a flourish and hung it on a hook.

  Regina’s cheeks burned. Was this a rendezvous?

  “And with whom?” Henry asked.

  “None of your beeswax.” She winked at Regina as she passed. “But I hope to see you again soon, Regina. Glad to meet you, finally.” She opened the door with a hand up for a final wave.

  Regina was still rooted to her spot. “That. That was Carolina Just.”

  “Carolina Just, who has a date with someone I don’t know about. Interesting.” He walked to the window and watched her stride around the corner. Then he looked at the ceiling. “If I hear any thumps or moans up there, we may have to do an intervention.”

  She followed his gaze. “Wait. You live up there?”

  “Yeah. We own the entire building. It’s very convenient, for when I have to babysit. And spy on my sister—though obviously I haven’t been on my game.” He shook his head,
as if to focus. “Anyway, yes, the music and lights. We had another fundraiser. We find that the more romantic a setting is, the easier it is for folks to empty their wallets.” He pulled out a chair. “Sit, and I’ll be back with samples.”

  “Actually, I think I already know what I want—chocolate. It’s both Genevieve and Adelaide’s favorite.” She fiddled with the napkin at her table setting, her nerves catching up to her. “I suppose I could have just called with the order.”

  “And say no to free samples?” Henry reappeared with a plate of tiny slices of cake. “Listen. You might think you want chocolate, but why not try another flavor? It might even become a new favorite.” He slipped the plate under her nose.

  Her eyes grew wide with anticipation at what she knew were the three specialty flavors of Just Cakes: chocolate, red velvet, and carrot. That carrot cake recipe was how she’d begun Instagram-stalking the bakery. Regina had been looking for a recipe for her mother’s birthday and went down the rabbit hole through Pinterest, then landed on Just Cakes’ Instagram page, on a video of Henry icing a cake with precision and competence.

  She probably watched the video a dozen times.

  Henry appeared with a glass of champagne. “And of course, no cake tasting would be complete without a little bubbly.”

  He took the seat in front of her and linked his fingers together. She avoided his intense gaze, hoping he wouldn’t see right through her, to the extra effort she’d made with her hair, the red lipstick she braved. She focused on cutting into the carrot cake with her fork.

  The fork glided in; the cake didn’t crumble, a sure sign of its perfection.

  “All right, then. Don’t keep me hanging. Taste it already!”

  A burst of flavor greeted her with her first bite. The cake was spiced, the cream cheese frosting just mildly sweet. It melted in her mouth. “Wow.”

  “Is it good?”

  “Mm-hmm. It’s really good.”