Bittersweet Memories

by Cecelia Dowdy

  At midday, some of the barbers ate their lunch, laughing and talking as they watched the game on TV in the front of the shop. A few others continued to service clients.

  Sheronda and Deidre had just enough time to grab a bite before their scheduled appointments arrived. They sat with Karen in the large employee break room, eating a Papa John’s pizza they’d all chipped in on.

  As Karen sipped her soda, Sheronda looked at her engagement ring. “You engaged?”

  Karen winced. Why couldn’t she find the courage to remove Lionel’s ring and fall out of love with him?

  Deidre came to her rescue. “Stop asking questions, Sheronda. You can see that she doesn’t want to talk about it.” Deidre plopped two slices of pizza onto her plate.

  Karen gave both women a warm smile, not wanting to start her first day on the job on the wrong foot. “It’s kind of complicated.”

  Sheronda folded her arms in front of her chest. “How so?”

  “It’s a long story.”

  “Humph. That can only mean one of three things.” She held her index finger in the air. “Number one, it’s a long-distance relationship.” She held up a second finger. “Or number two, you’re no longer engaged and just don’t want anybody to know.” She held up a third finger. “Or number three, the man is in prison and you’re too ashamed to admit it.”

  Karen took a shaky breath. Sheronda’s last assumption isn’t far from the truth. If Lionel is ever found, he could end up in prison.

  Gail entered the break room, giving Karen a much-needed reprieve. “Sheronda, your twelve thirty appointment is here.”

  Sheronda threw her plate away and headed to her station.

  Deidre touched Karen’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about Sheronda. She’s just always trying to start trouble.”

  “Thanks, Deidre. I’m okay.”

  ❧

  That evening, after the shop had closed, Karen didn’t feel like going home. She drove to the Eastport section of downtown and parked. Wandering the redbrick streets, she stopped at a shop window, admiring the lemon-colored summer dress draped around a mannequin. She toyed with the idea of entering the chic clothing store and trying the item on.

  “Do you like it?”

  She turned, shocked to see Keith Baxter standing beside her, sporting a pair of jeans and a collared shirt. “What are you doing here?” she blurted.

  His caramel-colored eyes twinkled when he looked at her. “I had to get a few things for the church from the Christian bookstore down the street.”

  “What kinds of things?”

  “Stuff for Communion this Sunday, like bottles of grape juice and wafers.”

  “Is it usually your job to pick up those sorts of things for the church?” she asked, wondering how involved he was within the congregation.

  “No. But they’re a little short on volunteers this week. So I offered.”

  “Oh, I see.” She glanced toward the dress again.

  “Do you like the dress?” he repeated.

  “Yes, I like it a lot.”

  “Why don’t you try it on?”

  “No, the temptation would be too great.”

  “Temptation?”

  “To buy the dress. I don’t think I should spend the money.”

  “I can understand that.” They stood on the cobblestone sidewalk, admiring the garment. Keith cleared his throat. “Um, would you like to join me for dinner?”

  “Dinner?”

  “Yes, dinner.” His smile looked warm like sunshine. “You haven’t eaten yet, have you?”

  She shook her head.

  He gestured toward the Spa Creek Bridge. “I was going to walk across the bridge and go to Carrol’s Creek for dinner. I love their lobster.” He touched her shoulder. “I’ll treat.”

  “A lobster dinner at Carrol’s Creek?” A slight breeze blew off the Chesapeake Bay, billowing her light jacket. “That’s an awful lot of money to spend on a virtual stranger.”

  He grinned. “Karen,” he said as he steered her toward Spa Creek Bridge, “you’re not a stranger to me.”

  When he said her name, her spine shivered and her mouth went dry. She swallowed, trying to find her voice. “I–I’m not?”

  His laughter rumbled. “Of course not. You’re Ms. Doris’s daughter. She’s talked about you so much that I feel like I know you already.”

  Several minutes later, they entered the crowded restaurant. Scents of shrimp, fish, and lobster filled the air, as well as the din of diners’ voices raised in conversation.

  The host approached, bearing two menus. “Hi, Keith!” The men shook hands.

  “Hey, Jerome.”

  Jerome smiled, focusing on Karen. “Two for dinner?”

  “Yes, this is Karen. Karen, this is Jerome.”

  Jerome and Karen shook hands.

  Keith scanned the room. “Do you have a table available with a view of the water?”

  “I can help you out with that.” They followed him to a table with an exquisite view of the Chesapeake Bay. “I’ll tell your waiter to bring your bread right away.”

  “Thanks, Jerome.”

  Keith pulled out her chair, waiting until she sat before he settled into his seat. They studied the menus and Karen glanced outside periodically, watching the ships resting on the tranquil water of the marina. “You seem to know the host pretty well.”

  “Yes, I come here every week, and when I do, Jerome is usually working.” He scanned the room. “I love eating here.”

  Rays from the bright sun spilled through the window, warming their table with light. Karen glanced at the docked ships before speaking. “I remember when I came here for dinner in high school. My date brought me here before we went to the prom.” Fond memories unfurled through her mind like the sail of a ship. “It was a nice night.”

  The server placed glasses of water, rolls, and butter on their table before taking his exit.

  “So you’ve always lived here in Annapolis?”

  “I lived here my whole life until I moved to Ocean City.” She sipped from her water glass. “Have you always lived in Annapolis?”

  “Pretty much, except for college.”

  “You’ve only been living next door to my mother for six months. Where were you living before that?”

  “With my father.”

  “Had you always lived with your dad?”

  He shook his head. “No. About a year and a half ago, my dad began suffering from cancer. When he got worse, I moved in with him to help with his care. He died six months ago.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Her voice softened. “I didn’t know. . . . Did my mother tell you that my father died two years ago?”

  “Yes, and how hard it was for her to adjust afterward.”

  “Yes, it was. . .difficult.” Karen swallowed the lump in her throat. “H–have you been okay since your dad died?”

  He sighed, gazing outside for a few seconds. “Honestly? No. I still think about him a lot. I just find it so hard to believe he’s gone.”

  Karen touched his hand. “I know what you mean. I felt the same way when my father died.”

  They sat in silence for a few minutes; then Keith spoke again. “Before I moved in with my dad, I lived in a condo. Then when I started taking care of him, I rented out my place. After Dad passed, I just felt it was time for me to buy a house.”

  She paused, considering her next words. “My mother tells me that you can be somewhat blunt.”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Well, I’m about to be blunt with you.”

  He frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, you seem to be pretty well-off to be a plumber. You have a condo that you’re currently renting, and you own the home that’s next door to my mother.”

  He nodded. “I make a pretty good living as a plumber. People don’t realize how much we charge by the hour.” He sipped his water. “I also inherited money from my dad.”

  “Oh.” Not wanting to appear nosy, Karen decided to change the
subject. “Since you’ve always lived in Annapolis, I’m surprised that I’ve never run into you before, like in school. How old are you?”

  “I’m thirty, the same age as you. We’ve probably never met before because I always went to private schools.”

  “How did you know how old I am?” asked Karen.

  “Your mom told me.”

  She again wondered how much her mother had revealed about her, but their waiter returned before she could broach the subject.

  “Are you ready to order?”

  “Do you mind if I order for us?” Keith asked her.

  “Go right ahead.”

  She was pleased when Keith took the lead. He ordered lemonade, corn on the cob, baked potatoes, and steamed lobsters.

  After the waiter departed, taking their menus with him, Keith asked, “Mind if I say grace?”

  “No, of course not.”

  Keith took her hand and blessed the food.

  After echoing his “Amen,” Karen pulled her hand away, trying to ignore the tingle he’d left behind.

  Keith began buttering a roll. “So tell me a little bit more about why you’re here staying at your mom’s house.”

  Karen sighed. “Well, for one thing, the hair shop where I used to work closed down.”

  He shrugged. “So rather than find another job in Ocean City, you decided to come back home to Annapolis?”

  “I needed a change.” She reached for a roll.

  He shrugged again. “But why?”

  She bit her lip, wondering if having dinner with Keith was a mistake. “Can we change the subject?”

  He held his hands up in the air. “Sure, fine with me.” He looked at the marina for a long time. “Doris said that you’re a Christian. Tell me a little bit about your church.”

  “I don’t go to church anymore,” she said in a small voice.

  He frowned. “You mentioned when we had breakfast that you weren’t ready to go back to church.”

  “That’s right.”

  “Why? I know you’re hurting because Lionel left, but you can’t abandon God because of. . .your situation.”

  She clutched her roll, wondering if Keith knew all of the sordid details. “You just don’t know when to stop, do you?” She threw her bread back onto the plate.

  “Take it easy. . . . I was only asking you about your church.”

  She shook her head. “My church is part of the reason why I left.”

  Confusion crossed his face. “I—I don’t understand.”

  She tried to calm down. “You can be honest with me. Exactly what did my mother tell you about my fiancé?”

  “She said you two were planning on getting married but he left and nobody knows where he is.”

  “That’s all she said?”

  He stopped eating his roll, focusing on the ships bobbing on the water before responding. “She said that you implied he’d gotten cold feet.”

  “There’s so much my mother didn’t tell you.”

  His voice softened. “What happened?”

  She told him of Lionel’s and Michelle’s disappearance and the missing money from the church bank account, wrapping up the story by saying, “So it looks like they stole from the church.” Tears rolled down her cheeks.

  He gave her a napkin and took her hand, his eyes full of kindness. “Karen, I’m sorry about what happened. But you can’t abandon your church because of it.”

  She sniffled then blew her nose, finding a strange comfort in his touch. “You don’t understand. I didn’t abandon my church. My church abandoned me.”

  “Why do you say that?” He squeezed her hand, encouraging her to continue.

  “After Lionel disappeared, I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t sleep. When I’d come to church, people would stare at me and whisper behind my back. Everybody acted so different. I was so. . .embarrassed.” She paused. “S–some of the women think I might have helped or encouraged Lionel to commit this crime. But I didn’t! I don’t even know where Lionel is!”

  She wondered if she’d revealed too much. But it seemed she couldn’t help it. His warmth and encouragement had caused her to completely spill her soul. Suddenly realizing she was appreciating Keith’s hand-holding too much, she abruptly pulled her hand away.

  He glanced down at the table where her hand had been then looked into her eyes. “You know, when you said you’d stopped going to church, I thought about a scripture in Matthew. The one where Jesus talks about building a house on a solid foundation? If the foundation isn’t solid, the house is blown away when a storm comes.”

  She nodded.

  “Well, I think people’s faith needs to be strong, just like the house built on a rock that Jesus was talking about. If your faith is solid, then you’d keep going to church. Don’t let the church members’ attitudes prevent you from worshipping the Lord.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “You’re telling me that I should go back to that church, with all those hypocritical people, people who are accusing me of being a thief?” Her warm feelings toward him vanished.

  “I’m just saying that you shouldn’t let other people’s attitudes make you stop worshipping God. You need to go back to Ocean City, not run away from your problems. You need to strengthen your faith in God and keep right on worshipping Him in your church.”

  Glaring at him, she gritted her teeth. “Have you ever been accused of being a thief and a liar by your church?”

  Keith’s caramel-colored eyes widened, the question apparently catching him off guard. “Well, no, I—”

  She abruptly stood. “Well then, don’t tell me what to do and how to act when you’ve never been through what I’ve been through!”

  Their server approached, bearing two plates with freshly steamed lobster. She shook her head, no longer wanting to be in Keith’s presence. “I’m sorry. I’ve lost my appetite.”

  She left the restaurant, her stomach roiling in anger. When she got to her car, she realized she’d left Keith sitting at the table alone. She hesitated before she drove away from downtown Annapolis, still trying to calm herself down.

  When she arrived home, fatigue swept through her like a tidal wave. She went into the kitchen, knowing she needed to eat something before falling asleep. She made a grilled cheese sandwich and ate half of it, feeling guilty about having abandoned Keith in the restaurant.

  She pushed her half-eaten sandwich aside. “Lord, why can’t I let this go? Why can’t I just get over Lionel and his deceit? I feel so bad about getting mad at Keith when he was only trying to help me.” She tossed the remains of her sandwich into the trash before heading for bed.

  Four

  After another restless night, Keith awakened at 5:00 a.m. and got out of bed. Plodding to the bathroom, he recalled the events of the previous evening. After his aborted dinner with Karen, he’d eaten his meal alone. Later, driving down Main Street, he’d seen his brother strolling down the sidewalk, his arm draped around a woman. Keith had pulled over, his heart pounding as he watched the couple enter an upscale bar. He’d sat in his vehicle for a few minutes, wondering if the Lord had presented this opportunity so that he could approach Kyle. He’d silently prayed then decided the time wasn’t right.

  Not wanting to dwell on his problematic relationship with his brother, he turned his thoughts to Karen and her anger against God, hoping he could smooth things over with her. All he’d been trying to do was tell her to remain faithful to Jesus amid her troubles. But she’d obviously misunderstood.

  He dressed, put his glasses on, and brushed his teeth. He opened the blinds and glanced over at Ms. Doris’s house. The kitchen curtains were open, and he saw movement in the room. Seconds later, Karen appeared in Doris’s backyard. After she’d watered the flowers, he removed a square Styrofoam container from his refrigerator and hurried over to her house.

  Karen abandoned the hose when he approached. Dark circles shadowed her eyes.

  He swallowed before speaking. “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m sorry.�
��

  They spoke at the same time, and Keith laughed nervously.

  “Want to come in for some coffee?” she asked with a yawn.

  “Sounds great.”

  Karen gestured toward the container as they walked toward the house. “What’s that?”

  “It’s your dinner. I didn’t have enough room in my stomach to eat both meals, so I got yours to go.” They entered her home, and he plopped the box on the kitchen table. “I’ve had leftover lobster before. It should be pretty tasty.”

  “Thanks. I’ll take it with me to work and eat it for lunch.”

  She placed the container in the refrigerator then poured two cups of coffee while he sat at the table.

  She fixed him a cup, spicing it up with just the right amount of cream and sugar, then joined him at the table.

  Impressed that she’d remembered how he took his coffee, he took a sip, pleased with the way the brew danced on his tongue, waking him up. “Look, I know you got mad at me yesterday for what I said.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “At first I was mad, but after I thought about it, I realized you were just trying to give me suggestions on how to get through this. . .difficult time.” Her long eyelashes fluttered when she glanced down at the table, and he wondered what she was thinking. “Whenever I talk about what happened, why I happen to be living here with my mother, I get upset.” She paused before continuing. “I’m just sensitive about what happened with Lionel, and sometimes people dole out advice when they’ve never been in the same situation. I’m the victim here, and some people, especially those in my church, don’t seem to think that.”

  He frowned. “The whole church is giving you a hard time, or just a few members?”

  “Just a few people. The pastor and his wife have been more than loving toward me, encouraging me to come back to church.” She shrugged and started looking sad again. “It’s just too hard for me to go back there.” She looked around the kitchen. “Before I went to sleep last night, Monica called me.”

  “Who’s that?”

  “One of my best friends. She told me she’d had her baby.”