Forgiveness

by Marianne Evans

  “No matter what, we’ll end up where God means for us to be.”

  “That’s right. Like you, Mark, right here and right now. You’re helping people. You’re reconstructing lives based on the life God gave you, and that’s a blessing that will move into eternity for the people you counsel—and for you, too. You’re not the man she knew. Give her time, and she’ll realize that. You chose the path to life, even when circumstances went bad. When you found out Amy was pregnant, you could have just dropped her, or pushed at her to get an abortion. You didn’t. Instead, you tried.”

  “And failed.”

  “And came out refined by the fire.” It felt strange, assuming a mentor role with Mark, but Chase refused to budge on his convictions. He wanted to embrace this moment for all it was worth.

  “It was either that or end up dead.”

  “Which leads me back to the one thing I know to be true. God’s will is perfect, even when we fall and make mistakes, even when we mess up His plan and leave Him to pick up the pieces and reassemble them into something good. Just like you, Pyper has brought so many people to the core of God’s joy and goodness. That’s all His doing.”

  Mark’s eyes went red and he sagged through the shoulders, leaning heavily against his knees. “I want to find a way back so badly.”

  “Then see it through. Let it propel you past all of those fears she’s hanging on to so tight. If she didn’t want this as much as you do, she wouldn’t be fighting against it so hard. If she didn’t care, she’d blow you off and walk away. She can’t. She’s injured, but she wants the daddy of her youth to love her the way he should have in the first place. You’re ready for that opportunity, but she doesn’t quite believe it can happen. Underneath that tough, sassy exterior of hers is the little girl who’s been hurt. If you can make your way through, you’ll earn her trust and her love. I have no doubt. So, don’t give up. Keep treading lightly. You’re fighting the good fight, and she’s worth that battle. That’s what I wanted to say to you today.”

  

  Puckett’s in downtown Franklin was jumping. The hostess weaved through tight space, directing Pyper and her dad to a tall table with stools positioned right by the window overlooking Fourth Avenue. A realization came to life, a memory that tightened Pyper’s throat and stirred a glaze of moisture across her eyes. The voice of her five-year-old self drifted through time and spirit. And heart.

  “I decided something. Something important. I’m gonna be a singer when I grow up. Just like Tyler.”

  Tyler took her hand loosely and gave it a gentle shake as they sat across from one another. “I remember, too, sugar beet. This is the exact spot we shared the first time you and I and your mom spent time together in Nashville. You were, what? Five?”

  Pyper rolled her lips in and bit down. The effort at stemming tears failed. A pair of them trickled down her cheeks anyway. As always, Tyler offered comfort, smoothing them away with the brush of his fingertips beneath her lashes. In an instant, Pyper was that little girl once again, loving this man like the father he had become.

  Confusion nearly overwhelmed her. Because of Mark Samuels. Uncertainty simmered and prickled beneath her skin. “You’ll always be my daddy. Always. No matter what.”

  “That’s a given, sugar beet.”

  Tyler seemed to gather his breath and his thoughts all at once. He ran his thumbnail across a scar on the time-worn wooden tabletop, the after effects of someone else’s cuts. So much like the genesis of their relationship, and the turmoil she now faced with Mark.

  “Pyp, establishing solid ground, spending time with him, won’t change any of that.” Mischief danced through his eyes, lent a teasing curve to his lips. “And you know what? I’m about to go all ‘Dad’ on you, twenty-something or not.”

  “Oh, boy. I’m in trouble.”

  “Not at all.” Still, Tyler’s tone and expression turned serious. “I want you to think about something. You need to forgive him, Pyper. You need to get rid of the baggage and the pain he caused. Meet him halfway. It’ll make all the difference. I promise you that. He eats at your peace. Don’t let him. Don’t let him rob you twice, OK? That’s all I want to say. Maybe you’d find a way past all of it if you gave him the chance to—”

  “No. I don’t need him in my life.” Strong, stubborn and hurt most of all, Pyper’s denial came in a low growl, but packed as much impact as a roar. Hostility etched its fine, cutting line against each word she spoke. “It’s too late.”

  At that point, she opted out of the conversation, studying the people around her. She loved doing that on stage, too, connecting with as many smiling faces as possible. Like when she had sung alongside Chase. Lord help her she was confused…by everything.

  That’s when something caught her eye, a vignette playing out at a nearby table presently occupied by a large family. “Hey, dad, look at her!” Pyper reached out and squeezed his hand, drawing his attention to a little girl decked out in a blue denim skirt fluffed out by thick layers of pink tulle and topped by a white T-shirt. Best of all, she absolutely rocked a pair of shiny, spanking new, pink leather cowboy boots.

  “I remember when you and mom got married, and I moved down here for good. You got me a pair just like those for my birthday.”

  “Every Southern woman should have ‘em. That and a horse. It took you maybe a week on the farm before you batted those lashes at me and asked for a pony.”

  Pyper released a joyful laugh as the beautiful perfume of nostalgia swept in. “Briar was in our meadow by the next sunrise. Mom pretended to have a fit, mockingly accused you of spoiling me.” Pyper’s chin quivered. This man had erased so much of the horror in her life, and she was grateful. But was she grateful enough to take that last, terrifying step to reconciliation with the blood-related father who had acted like an emotional wrecking ball? Could she extend true forgiveness? She knew she should…but she didn’t feel able. She met Tyler’s gaze and gave him a tremulous smile. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too, sugar beet. Always and forever and take it to the bank.”

  The ages old reply soothed the rough patches on her soul. “You’ve always been so good to me. You were always there. You showed me a father’s love. Nothing and no one can take away the fact that you are my dad.”

  “True. But, if he’s sincere, if he’s trying, I think you owe him a chance.”

  “I. Owe. Him. Nothing.”

  “Don’t disappoint me, Pyper Marie.” The admonishment was tender, but unyielding. “If nothing else your Christian faith tells you as much. To do anything less dishonors everything we stand for and makes us nothing more than self-righteous, judgmental and wrong.”

  “Dad.” The word was a one-time warning shot.

  He ignored it. “Don’t cast stones. I know when he first showed up I told him to steer clear, and I promise you, Pyper, he won’t hurt you physically ever again. I won’t let him. But I can’t stop him from hurting you emotionally, spiritually, if you allow the hurt to fester inside you, and that’s tearing me up. Open your heart wide enough to give him a chance, Pyper. Let him know how you feel. He’s after that as well, and you have the right to express your pain. But you need to listen, too. That’s all I’m asking.”

  That was all he asked, sure, but to Pyper, it felt like everything and more. She just wasn’t ready, or able, to push through.

  23

  “I dunno, Chase. Singing ‘Forgiveness’ still grates on me. It’s just not coming together the way I want.” Pyper sighed, resting her head against his chest.

  “The recording session went fine. Stop overthinking it.” Chase moved close—positioning himself into a neat, perfect snuggle against Pyper’s side. They sat on the Brocks’ front porch swing as dusk crept in. He breathed his fill of rapidly cooling air and sweet floral scent while pushing a heel against the floorboards to set their world in gentle motion.

  Relaxing against the support of his arm, Pyper cast him a grateful look. “You’re being way too nice. I’m still qu
estioning whether or not I should be part of—”

  “Pyp, you’re doing what you should. Leave it at that, OK? The rest’ll come.” Chase cut her off deliberately, with somewhat of a hard edge because he wanted her to stop berating herself. The Spirit prompted her forward; an ache pounded through him for Pyper to recognize the fact and see a way through the heavy, thick veil of her doubts.

  A silence stretched, full of chirping insects and the song of a breeze whistling through the brush. “I have a question for you.”

  “Yep.”

  “Are you…OK with things? With dating the way we are?”

  “What do you mean?” The conversation shift was unexpected. He angled toward her, loving the way she tucked her legs and propped against the side of the porch swing to face him. Somehow, someway, he knew he’d never tire of looking at her, or simply resting at her side.

  “I’m sure I seem pretty tame.”

  His grin spread. “Tame is hardly the word I’d use to describe you. You have more fire in your spirit than most anyone I know.”

  He rested his arm against the back of the swing and twirled a curl of her hair around his finger, let it spring free, repeated. “Pyper, you have nothing to worry about. I want to know you. I want your trust, your confidence. If I took you to my condo, even for an innocent dinner, the temptation would be too great to press for more. I like these moments. I love being with you. That’s enough, and I mean it. Like everything else, the rest will come when it’s supposed to. When it’s right.”

  “Like when we’re married.”

  All at once, her eyes went wide. She gasped, realizing what she had just said. Meanwhile, Chase couldn’t help but want to tease her, especially since laughter bubbled through his chest and filled him with delight. “Aww…darlin’…are you askin’? This is so unexpected…”

  Even in semi-darkness, with only the hazy overhead light from the porch to see by, he could tell that a blush painted her cheeks. Adorably flustered, Pyper ducked her head and her hair fell in a curtain against her cheeks. Their blended laughter moved through the yard, full and spontaneous—music, Chase thought. Great music.

  “You’re three shades of black soot, Chase Bradington.”

  The words were a sassy tease, but she was charmingly undone—disarmed. He’d bet that didn’t happen to this lady often. So, he laughed all the more, drawing her into his arms for a long, warm hug and nuzzle against her neck that filled his soul.

  “That I am, crash. That I am.”

  She giggled; Chase sighed with pleasure while she snuggled all the closer.

  Pyper tilted her head to look into his eyes and she drew the back of her fingertips against his cheek and jaw. Her eyes tracked the caress and Chase’s senses came alive and tingled with need. Yep. Being alone with her put him in tricky terrain to be sure. But, as he had said, it was better to be safe, and God honoring, than to be sorry.

  All the same, an inspiration struck. “Know what? I’ve got an even better answer to that question for you. C’mon. Let’s go into downtown Franklin real quick before I leave for home.”

  

  They ended up at Sweet CeCe’s on Main Street, a shop that featured the best handmade frozen yogurt in all of Tennessee from Pyper’s point of view. Chase treated and they sat across from one another at a quaint metal bistro table crafted of elaborate curlicues. They both carried generously appointed Styrofoam cups stuffed with one of the shop’s specialties: Old Fashioned Fudge Sorbet.

  Pyper promptly dug in. Heaven. But between licks and nibbles, she kept an eye on Chase. “This is wonderful, but it doesn’t answer my question about dating.”

  “Well it should.”

  “How so?”

  “It’s symbolic. A parable, maybe.”

  Pyper frowned in confusion, but the frown didn’t last long. Creamy, sweet deliciousness melted against her tongue, providing welcome refreshment from the day’s oppressive heat. Summer days wouldn’t last much longer, but oh, while they did…

  “I want to court you, Pyper. I want to win much more than your body. I want it all. I want to talk to you, hold you, know you—everything—good and bad, and I want you to know me. From there, we’ll keep on building. That’s my dream.”

  As he spoke, as his words trickled into her mind, her heart, Pyper’s world came to a standstill. He finished a few bites then lifted his spoon, blooping the bottom of the utensil against the tip of her nose, which caused Pyper to jump, and issue a short squeal.

  Ignoring the trickle of yogurt that inched down her nose, she dabbed a healthy dot on Chase’s nose in payback. The laughter they shared, the silly, precious moment engraved his words on her heart and she came to understand exactly what Chase had accomplished in this moment. Purity. Innocence. The joy of discovery. The thrill of tumbling heart-first into love.

  Recovered, he sealed her gaze with his. “Pyper, I’m not going to lie to you. Once upon a Chase, my answer to kissing you, to sharing with you physically would have been yes, yes, and more yes. Excess. Stupidity. Greed. Sin. I’d enjoy the conquest, then walk away unencumbered and unrepentant, relishing a steamy physical memory. What I know now is that that’s no way to live. It’s gutless, rotten, and while I thought I was sliding through life in feel-good-mode without a care to be had, the consequences caught up to me. Not anymore. Not ever again. I want a woman like you, Pyper. I could never disrespect you like that, and truth to tell? I doubt you’d ever let me in the first place.”

  “Seems you’ve caught on to me pretty quick.”

  “I hope.” Chase finished off his treat, visibly savoring this influx of good, of right.

  Pyper joined in that melody and rested her hand on top of his, smiling into his eyes.

  A short time later they climbed back into his truck for the return home. Chase turned the key in the ignition and as soon as the radio came to life, the song “People Change” by For King and Country hit the airwaves. It was like God decided to ride along with them, and that fact wasn’t lost on Pyper. She froze for a minute or two, lost in the music; she turned her head, shoulders shaking as he engaged the vehicle and allowed her to cry in a silence broken only by the strains of poignant music that spoke directly to the battle she fought.

  But she wasn’t alone now, and she knew it. Chase settled his free hand against her arm in a comforting squeeze but focused on the road ahead as though wanting to spare her from added discomfort.

  “Sometimes,” he said quietly, “all the words in the world won’t accomplish what a well-written song can.”

  “I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

  “Let the pain in, and don’t be afraid of it. Don’t be afraid to break, Pyper. It’ll be OK. I’m here, and so are all the people who love you. God will put you back together again, and you’ll move forward as He intends.”

  The authenticity of those words, the passion that crafted them into being, calmed her at once.

  They arrived at Pyper’s home and, as always, Chase rounded his truck to open the door and accompany her to the front entrance. There on the porch, he cupped her face in his hands and she wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning into him. His expression was intent, almost somber; Pyper was about to question him when Chase stroked his thumbs against her cheeks. “I don’t want one more day to pass me by, Pyper. Life’s too short, and life’s too precious.” A steady gaze never wavered from hers. “I love you. Plain and simple. I love you.” His voice, usually a faultless tool, turned to a husky whisper. “I’m not dodging it anymore. I’m allowing myself the freedom of saying it, and expressing how I feel in full. Being at your side is a privilege. Touching you is a gift. I love you.”

  The reverence, the bare honesty of his words, unfastened the last string holding back her heart. She breathed deep and leapt across a whole new sky. “Chase…I love you, too.”

  The words rocked him—she saw that clearly in the way he blinked in slow motion.

  “Say it again,” he murmured.

  Pyper melted, restraint
s rippling to useless debris while her spirit soared free. “I love you.”

  He inched in closer, his full, waiting mouth just millimeters from hers, his breath warm against her lips. “Just…one more time.”

  “I love you, Chase.” Melting, she pulled him in for a kiss that sealed her heart. Radiance, a soul shimmer, swept through her body. Love—a love unlike anything she had ever known or expected—left her clinging to him. “I had no idea so much love lived inside of me…and you…just searching for an outlet.”

  “And I’ve found it,” Chase replied. “For real and forever I’ve found it in you.”

  Night wrapped its arms around them, filled with cricket song, the dance of fireflies, and the gentle whisper of tall grass. He searched her eyes and she caught the way he trembled. A strong man crumbled, all because of the exchange of three precious words.

  “My every intention is to marry you, crash. Sooner rather than later. With all that I am I want to give you my life. My entire heart.” He puffed a breath and squeezed her hands tight. “Pyp, just before this nightmare came to life, I imagined the moment of putting my ring on your finger. Forever. My world—our world—turned sideways that day, but the truth stayed rock solid, and true.” All at once, a flash of loving fire came to life in his eyes. “This time I’m the one askin’. Will ya’ take me on, crash? Are you brave enough? Do you love me enough to marry—”

  “I accept.”

  Love had been set free, released into her care. All at once, Pyper recognized the gift Chase offered; she absorbed its weight, its power and beauty. She launched into his arms and he caught her waist, nuzzling her neck. Chase had delivered those sacred words along with a vow of his commitment, his reverence for what they had found together. I love you. They had spoken them to one another three times strong—like a benediction. There had to be something ordained in that fact, something holy and God-Spirited. Flooded by contentment, she knew she couldn’t—shouldn’t—keep that feeling inside. She wanted to share it. She wanted to celebrate it.