About Sisterland
Page 26
When she spoke again, it was with reluctance. “They won’t believe the foot-sprain story if you stay out much longer.”
“No.”
“Is it far?”
“I can pick up a ride near here. I know a spot where some late shiftworkers get collected.”
“I’ll see you soon, Harper. I promise.”
“I’ll watch for you.”
“Harper, wait. Before you go, please let me know if you’re glad to see me again. Please say it.”
He turned back, the shadows making his face impenetrable to her. “Can’t you tell?”
Constance shook her head.
“I’m so full of moes, I’m trembling from them.”
“Positive moes?”
“Constance, I haven’t felt free since I came to this city. There’s been a weight sitting on my chest, pushing me to the ground. Just the sight of you lifts some of that load. I’m not on my knees any more.”
“Harper, you were never on your knees. That’s why I love you.”
She was hoping to hear the words ‘I love you back’. But Harper had dissolved into the darkness.
Chapter 29
There was no small talk when Constance met Goodwill the following morning.
“Goodwill, I need your help.”
“I’ll do anything I can for you.”
Instead of going to work, Constance had made her way to the Circle zone, to Devotion and Goodwill’s twoser. She had the perfect alibi for shirking her duties at Shaperhaus. If her comtel was checked, they’d think she was attempting to infiltrate the Silenced.
“The man I mated with – we talked during Himtime,” said Constance. “And now, I’d like to do something for him.” She took a deep breath. “I want to help him escape from Sisterland. I know it’s a lot to ask. But please do this. Do it for me.”
Goodwill’s sympathetic expression faltered.
Constance pressed on. “Do it for the baby he fathered – it’s your brother’s grandchild.”
“You’re asking too much, Constance!”
“Hear me out. Symbols matter, you said so yourself. Like Silence, he could be a symbol. Free him, and make a public gesture of it: the Silenced refusing to collude with the Nine’s policy of keeping men caged.”
“Hold on there. ‘Caged’ is a strong term. Men aren’t captives – they have a reasonable life. Food, clothing, shelter.”
“They aren’t free.”
“Not exactly, no.”
“You’re either free or you’re not.”
“Stop using silkenspeak on me.”
“This isn’t silkenspeak and you know it.”
“All right, males aren’t free. But maybe they don’t want to be free. Maybe they’re content as they are.”
“Listen to yourself, Goodwill. We don’t have zoos because we think it’s wrong to keep wild animals in captivity. So how is it acceptable with people?”
“Males aren’t people the way women are. I don’t hold with downgrading all of them – some show promise. But trying to make a symbol of a man, on a par with Silence, is lunacy. Great Beloved, she was your other! Show some respect!”
“I am showing respect. That’s why I want my man set free.”
“Your man?”
“Yes, mine. Just as I’m his.”
“Careful, my dear! You don’t sound quite yourself. Have you been sleeping badly? Maybe the speed-up pills are disagreeing with you. Remember your babyfusion. Your responsibility is to your child now, not to some man.”
“He’s not ‘some man’ – his name is Harper. Together, we babyfused. If you care anything about me, Goodwill, show me. Otherwise, it’s just empty words.”
Goodwill scratched at her neck, mottling the flesh into angry stripes. “I need to discuss this with somebody else, Constance. It’s not my decision.”
“But will you back me? Say you will, please. You’ve known me all my life. Devotion’s my source. You say your brother’s my father. If that’s the case, we’re family. I know that’s not supposed to have too much significance in Sisterland. But it ought to. Promise you’ll do your best, Goodwill. I want this more than anything. Help me. I’m begging you.”
It was an appeal Goodwill could not resist. “When you talk about this – this Harper – escaping, where do you want him sent?”
“Outsideland.”
“That’s a tall order. For starters, we don’t know exactly where it is. Or how to reach it. We have no escape network. And we don’t have any spare capacity right now – important plans are being drawn up.”
“Why not make Harper part of it all? A plan within a plan. I don’t pretend it’s going to be easy. But it’s possible, surely. You have contacts everywhere, you told me so yourself. Steal him from Hutchtown, and spirit him away to the outer reaches of Sisterland. Then put him on a ship. The Outsidelander came here by sea. Why not do it in reverse?”
“The coast is a long way from Harmony. And the women who hid him on his journey would face consequences if caught. There could be no forgiveness for such a transgression. It flouts every principle of Sisterland.”
“To help another human being flouts every principle of Sisterland? Doesn’t that tell us something?”
Goodwill rubbed hard at a spot between her eyebrows. “Conditions for men will be improved, given time. Right now, we have other priorities.”
“Think of it as challenging the Nine’s authority. This man is a meet who refused to mate on demand – he mated with me, and then wouldn’t do it again with another woman. He said even animals have a choice about whether or not to mate. They sent him to an eat-easy because they were short of labour. Otherwise, who knows how they might have punished him? Freeing him is a gesture that won’t be lost on the Nine.”
“I guess that makes him an unusual man.”
“How many men do we know, to judge whether or not he’s unusual? But this much I’m sure about. He’s sensitive, independent and brave. He said no to the system. Isn’t that what the Silenced is trying to do, too? Please, Goodwill. Let’s help him.”
“Your feeings for this man are dangerous, Constance.”
“You must have had feelings for your brother or you wouldn’t have chosen him to mate with Devotion. Feelings are natural. That’s something else the Nine has done – made us nervous of feelings. They’ve convinced sisters they’re wrong.”
“Tread carefully, my dear. You’re in a vulnerable condition, between babyfusion and losing your other. Love between a woman and a man is impossible.”
“Wouldn’t you have freed your brother, if you could?”
“Maybe. But he discontinued years ago. Not long after you were born.” Goodwill’s voice thickened. “Matingplace doesn’t agree with men.”
“How do you know he discontinued?”
“I tried to see him again.” This was offered up as a shameful admission.
A spark of triumph ignited inside Constance. “Goodwill, did you have loving feelings for your brother?”
“Nothing as strong as that. Some traces of affection, I suppose.”
“Affection’s a start. If you had a son, wouldn’t you love him?”
“I have no child. I was never fortunate enough to babyfuse. You’re asking me to imagine how I might feel.”
“So, imagine.”
A beat. “Yes. I’d love my son.”
“So will you help someone else’s son to escape?”
Another beat, longer than the first. “I’ll speak to my sisters in the movement. I can’t make any promises. But we’ll look into it.”
Constance went close to Goodwill, taking her by the hand. “Your brother is gone, Goodwill. But something of him lives on in me. And in my child now, thanks to Harper.”
“I’ll do my best for your Harper.”
“When?”
“Soon.”
“How soon? Harper can’t stay in Sisterland. He’ll wither away here.”
“It’s not my decision.”
“Aren’t you the leader?”
“How long do you expect it to take?”
“Why the rush?”
“Once I have my baby, I can’t be sure of anything. Not even that I’ll still be around.”
The air shifted between them, solidifying. “My dear, are you at risk? Is there something you haven’t told me?”
“The Nine didn’t like a memory interchange I uploaded – its solution was to send me to MUM. Before that happened, the Outsidelander was caught, and acted as a distraction. And I suppose Silence, and my babyfusion, make me a special case. But the Nine will deal with me after I have the baby. I’m under no illusions about that.”
Goodwill’s eyes bulged. “This escape plan should be for you, not Harper!”
“I can’t go anywhere – it wouldn’t be safe for my baby.”
“Constance, I’m afraid for you. Though . . . how can I be? Fear’s a delisted moe.”
“Moes can’t be delisted. Not permanently. They can be discouraged. Suppressed. Denied. But they can’t be de-selected for good. Think how love wouldn’t conform to rationing, despite the best efforts of earlier Nines. All moes are just as resistant. They’re only buried, not abolished. I can feel fear, too – I may not like it, it’s not a moe that brings me any comfort, but it pushes me to do something for Harper.”
Goodwill pressed the heel of a hand against her sternum, trying to moderate her racing heartbeat. “We need to stay rational. There’s a risk that moe could undo the two of us.”
“And there’s a risk that lack of moe could undo all of us.”
Chapter 30
Constance ticked her way through a list left for her by the Shaper Mother, who did not appear. At times, she felt spasms in her lower back, and had to walk round the room to relieve the discomfort. They reminded her another babyfusion check-up was due, and she made a lunchtime appointment. Babyfusion cases were always prioritised, even if it meant other sisters were bounced down the list.
The medico ran some tests on Constance and, with brisk approval, told her she was a healthy sourcing sister. Walking back to work afterwards, Constance came upon a crowd gathered under the giant wings above Shaperhaus. They were staring at the screen on the far side of the square. Constance shielded her eyes with her hand to see the image more clearly. On continual loop, it showed three women in red scarves on a rope ladder scaling the Beloved statue in the park. At the top, they tied a red bow about her neck.
“Somebody says they belong to a group that has spontaneous moe eruptions,” said one of the onlookers. “They can’t restrain themselves – they’re capable of anything!”
“Why is this being shown on a public screen?” demanded another.
Back in the office, the Shaper Mother was leaning against Constance’s desk. “Have you seen it?” she asked. Constance nodded. “Such a ridiculous gesture, but it drew a crowd to Beloved Park, and leaflets were distributed before the peers had the situation under control. These acts of civil disobedience are cropping up all over the city. But gaining access to the public entscreen system to upload that image is in another league. I suspect we may have underestimated this movement, Constance. Speaking of which, your comtel showed you in the Circle zone yesterday. I presume you saw sense, and were trying again with your Silenced contact. What news?”
“Nothing yet, mother. But I have hopes. Progress was made. If you could give me a little more time, I should have something for you.”
The Shaper Mother tapped a reprimand on Constance’s forearm. “You need to redouble your efforts.”
“Yes, mother.”
That evening after work, Constance stood on the street, considering what to do. With the Shaper Mother pushing hard, she knew she hadn’t much time to persuade the Silenced leadership to spirit away Harper. But she couldn’t force the pace with Goodwill. The desire to see Harper was keen in her, but it was risky to make contact. Time enough when she had an escape plan to share with him.
She needed to eat, but the bright lighting and noisy atmosphere of an eat-easy held no appeal this evening. There was still time to reach the dine-all attached to her unit. She didn’t usually bother with it, finding the meals staid, but it was exactly the kind of wholesome food she ought to be eating now. She turned her hand thumb outwards, and on her comtel clicked through a request to hold a dinner.
As she made for home along the riverbank, a flash of green alerted her to a frog hopping into the water. Harper would feel less homesick for his forest if he could walk here and observe the city’s wildlife. But the only men she saw in the river’s vicinity were dredging it. Men’s free time was spent resting before a return to work. That was another of those inconvenient facts which she had discounted, before knowing Harper.
In the unit, she noticed the absence of the Silenced for the first time. A patch of red by the main entrance showed that flowers continued to be left there, but the bouquets were few compared with earlier mounds.
“No Silenced?” she asked the unit-minder, who was helping herself to a rosebud.
“Vanished like melted snow. You don’t mind, do you?” She held up the flower. “I’m going up to Beloved Park later. Always like to leave a token by her statue.”
“I don’t mind. You might have trouble reaching the statue, though. There was an incident earlier.”
“Saw it on my entscreen. But the day a sister can’t leave Beloved a little something is the day the world stops spinning.”
“I wonder what Beloved would make of Sisterland now?”
“Take a tip from me, sister. Keep thoughts like that to yourself.” The unit-minder walked away.
Constance headed into the dine-all, which was emptying out as she arrived. She was working her way through a dressed rock-nut casserole – a protein boost which her body craved – when a Buzz driver who lived two floors above joined her.
“Don’t often see you eating in here, sister,” said the driver, whose name was Justice.
“It was handy tonight.”
“Guess you’re eating for two, right?”
“Right.” Hungry though she was, the next words made Constance set down her fork.
“A sister is interested in meeting you.”
“Am I interested in meeting her?”
Justice held Constance’s eyes. “Five o’clock tomorrow morning, by the universal sisterhood memorial on Integrity Street.” Without another word, she left.
Constance mopped up the last of her meal with a corner of spiral bread. Five a.m. was a time when few sisters would be going about their business. She couldn’t presume the meeting had anything to do with her appeal to the Silenced leadership. It could just as easily be the Nine losing patience with her. Perhaps they intended removing her unobtrusively. If peers were sent into Shaperhaus for her, or if they turned up at her oneser, they’d be seen. It would cause speculation. Especially in view of Silence. She pushed away her empty bowl and went home, qualms spiking about who might be waiting for her tomorrow.
Indoors, she stood by the window. No Silenced beneath it. How quickly their focus shifted. No wonder they were easily manipulated. She activated the blankout, and settled down in front of the entscreen to a documentary on Sisterland’s flowers and fauna. But doubts intruded, insistent as insect bites, over the next day’s appointment. She abandoned the documentary, undressed, and set her comtel to wake her at four a.m. Despite the uncertainty, she couldn’t afford to miss an opportunity to help Harper.
It was almost six the following morning when a noise in the communal area outside her door disturbed Constance’s sleep. She’d slept through the alarm, missing the rendezvous. In a foggy state, she rang across to the dine-all to say she’d breakfast there – starving again – before washing and swallowing her popper.
When she arrived, the Buzz driver was sitting at a table, eyes trained on the door. Constance went to the co
unter to order.
“Good morning, Constance. Won’t you join me?” called Justice.
Constance sat opposite Justice, who picked up her knife and started hitting it against the table by the handle. “I heard a catchy tune last night on my entscreen – it goes something like this. Do you know it?” She kept knocking with the knife. Under cover of its rhythm, she said quickly, “Lucky you didn’t show up. Integrity Street was watched. We’ll try again. On your way into work, stop at Beloved Park. You’ll be met by the entrance.”
Under a hazy sky, Constance walked up Virtue Boulevard, the clouds suspended so low it seemed as if they might sink to earth under their own weight. Her joints ached. Standing sentinel by the park gates was her progress-monitor. Patience called out her name, and Constance had little choice but to advance.
“I heard the giant sunflowers here have grown to the size of dinner plates, and decided to see for myself. Isn’t nature wonderful? Considering we’ve had hardly a blink of sun in years? Walk with me.” Patience linked arms with Constance.
She was not the sort of sister who touched others, and Constance was nonplussed. Still, she aimed for a show of nonchalance. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
“Who doesn’t like a stroll in the park?”
Constance felt trapped. Discreetly, she flicked her eyes round as they walked, wondering if the sister due to make contact with her was watching and waiting, or if she had backed away.
“Looking for someone, Constance?”
“You never know who you’ll run into in Beloved Park.”
“I thought you might be keeping an eye out for a friend of mine – Goodwill.”
“You know Goodwill?”
“We share common interests.” She turned her head and looked at Constance. An intent look.
Constance was astounded. The moe fizzed through her, unchecked. Patience was in the Silenced leadership!
“I am,” said Patience. “And by the way, your moe responses are exceptional. You’d have made an excellent co-keeper. Except it wasn’t to be.”
Constance marshalled her thoughts. She hadn’t been aware that Patience could mindmap.