by E. L. Todd
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“I’m walking with you to the library.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “I don’t have anything else to do. I don’t work today.”
“Henry, I don’t need you to walk me anywhere.”
“I don’t mind.”
“Well, I do. And please don’t pick me up either.”
He stared at her for a moment. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”
He was such a sweet guy that it was hard for her to stay angry with him. “You didn’t. I just don’t need a friend to walk me everywhere.”
“Do you not want Coen to see you with anybody?”
“What? What does that mean?”
“Nothing,” he said quickly.
“I’ll see you later.”
“Can I see you tonight?”
“Um, I think so. I’ll text you.”
He smiled. “Okay. I look forward to it.”
“Bye,” she said as she walked toward the library. After she entered the building, she felt her heart accelerate as she moved up the stairs. When she walked down the hall, she saw him sitting in the study room, looking at his phone. She took a deep breath before she walked in.
“Hey,” she said as she sat down next to him.
“You sore?”
She flinched. “What? Why?” Did he know?
He raised an eyebrow. “We pushed it pretty hard yesterday. I thought you might be a little uncomfortable.”
“Oh.”
“What did you think I meant?”
“Nothing.”
“Fine. Keep your secrets.”
She looked away and opened the book.
“So, are you going to answer me?”
“Answer what?”
“How do you always get the highest grade in the class when you don’t remember anything I say?”
She stared at him blankly.
He leaned forward. “Are you sore?”
“Oh,” she said with a small laugh. “No. I work out all the time.”
“What else do you do?”
“I swim.”
“At the gym?”
“In the ocean. I swam with whales the other day.”
His eyes widened. “You swim that far?”
“I guess.”
“You guess?”
“Yes, I swim far,” she answered.
“You’re odd.”
“No. You are.”
“Me?”
“Yeah,” she snapped. “You always ask me a million questions.”
“I wouldn’t have to ask you a million questions if you just answered my question instead of making me repeat it a million times.”
“You’re such a smartass.”
“What’s your point? You sound blonde most of the time.”
“I do not.”
“If only you can hear yourself talk.”
“I’m just nervous.”
He was quiet for a moment. “I make you nervous?”
“No,” she said quickly. “I’ve never tutored someone before. It makes me nervous.”
“Well, don’t be.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
He leaned back in his chair then looked through the glass of the study room. “Your boyfriend didn’t walk you here today?”
“He’s not my boyfriend. I’ve said that at least ten times.”
“Then why are you always together?”
“You’ve seen me with him once.”
“You have every class together and you always sit by each other. I saw you with him at the bonfire, and I know he stays at your place a lot.”
She raised an eyebrow. “How do you know all of that?”
“Word gets around.”
“Well, he’s not my boyfriend. Nothing is going on between us.”
“You swear?”
“What does it matter?”
“Answer me.”
The command in his voice made her shiver. “I swear.”
“Is he gay?”
“No.”
“Then what do you guys do together all the time?”
“Go swimming, watch television, work together, just normal stuff.”
“That guy is insanely in love with you.”
“You just asked if he was gay.”
“I just had to make sure. But he’s totally infatuated with you. Please tell me you notice it.”
“No. If he had feelings for me, I would know by now.”
“Ask him.”
“What? No. That would make things awkward.”
“Only if he answered yes.”
“I’m not going to ask him that.”
“Because you know he does.”
“No, he doesn’t.”
“Yes, he does.”
She felt her anger bubble to the surface. “How’s your girlfriend? You like getting slapped by her?”
His smile dropped. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Liar.”
“What did you just say to me?”
“I said you’re a liar.”
“I’m not a liar,” he said as he leaned toward her. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Then what was that show on the beach?”
“Me trying to get her to leave me alone. We broke up months ago but she won’t let me go.”
“Sure.”
“What’s your problem? If you have something to say to me, just say it.” Sydney said nothing. “I don’t have a girlfriend and I haven’t had one in four months.”
She opened the book and flipped through the pages. “Let’s start on the different phyla.”
He shut the book. “Look at me.”
She took a deep breath then faced him. “Why do you care what I think?”
“You’re my friend—that’s why.”
“I am?”
“I thought so. Maybe I’m wrong.”
She played with the edge of the book for a moment. “I want to be your friend.”
“Friends trust each other. I said I don’t have girlfriend—I’m not lying.”
“Then why don’t you believe me when I say I’m not with Henry?”
“I do believe you, but I know he has feelings for you. You should be careful.”
“Be careful?”
“You love him, right? As your friend?”
“He’s family to me.”
“Then you need to be careful. Don’t break his heart and lead him on.”
“How am I leading him on?”
“You spend a lot of time with him and you let him hug you all the time. Girlfriends don’t even hug each other that much.”
She looked out the window, not willing to meet his gaze.
“I don’t know why you’re in denial about this. You’re amazing. Of course the guy is going to fall in love with you.”
She looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “I thought you said I was stupid?”
“I said you sound stupid.”
“That isn’t much better.”
He smiled. “I guess not. I take it back.”
“Thank you.”
“But I know I’m right about Henry. If you love the guy, you should either talk to him or make it clear that you have no interest in him.”
“And how would I do that?”
He shrugged. “Get a boyfriend.” He stared at her for a long time, looking into her eyes.
“Well, I don’t have anyone in mind.”
“Nobody? Not a single person?”
She avoided his look. “No.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“Who are you interested in?”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you. You’re single. Who’s on your radar?”
He shrugged. “I can’t think of any names at the moment.”
“Just bra sizes?”
He glared at her. “Why do you think I’m a pig?”
“Because you are.”
“You just met me. How could you possib
ly know if I am or not.”
“I’ve heard things about you.”
He sighed. “I thought you were different.”
“What?”
“You believe the ‘things’ you hear from random places? I thought you were a scientist? Look for the facts before you make a hypothesis, and only then is it an educated guess. It’ll take more time and thought before it’s a theory.”
She was quiet for a moment. “I apologize.”
“Thank you.”
“So are you a pig?”
“I don’t know. How do you define a pig?”
“Someone who sleeps around, never loves anyone and only wants to get laid. They only care about themselves. They lie, cheat, and steal to get what they want.”
He nodded. “Well, I kinda am a pig, then.”
She stared at him, waiting for him to elaborate.
“I’ve slept around, but I’ve loved someone with my whole heart, and I care more about that than fucking a random list of women. I’ve never lied, cheated, or stolen. The women I’ve fucked knew that’s exactly what I wanted from them, nothing more.”
She opened the book and flipped through the pages, picking up where she left off.
“No response?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Do you think I’m a pig?”
“I don’t know.”
“The answer is pretty clear.”
“It is?”
“I’m not.”
She ignored his comment. “We should get to work.”
He looked at the clock. “Our session is over.”
“Is it?” She looked at the time. “Wow.”
“Time flies when you’re having fun, right?”
“I guess.”
“Let’s go out for some juice.”
“What?”
“The kind that’s squeezed from fruit. They make smoothies out of it, like Jamba Juice?”
“You want to go do something?”
“Yeah. It will be fun. Let’s go.”
“Uh.” She tried to grasp the next words to say.
He grabbed her arm and pulled her to stand. “Let’s head out.”
Once she was on her feet, she grabbed her backpack from the table. When they left the library, she felt her heart hammer in her chest. Was this a date? What the hell just happened? Did he like her? If he did, she knew she shouldn’t get involved with him. He would just break her heart and rip it into pieces like Aaron did. “Actually, I have plans tonight.”
“What plans?” he asked while looking into her face.
“My friends and I—”
“You’re a horrible liar.”
“I’m not lying.”
He laughed. “You’re just making it worse.”
Her face turned red.
When they reached the parking lot, he walked to his Tacoma and opened the passenger door for her. She eyed it suspiciously.
“I told you I’m not a pig.”
She got inside and he shut the door behind her.
When he got into the driver’s seat, he leaned toward her. “You can calm down. We’re just hanging out.” He cranked the engine then pulled out of the driveway.
Her heart was racing in her chest as they drove down the highway to the other side of the mountain peaks. She assumed they were going to the tourist spot with a lot of restaurants and bars. When he pulled over, she saw the ocean on the left hand side. She never grew tired of watching it.
“And that’s why I’ll never move,” he said as he looked out her window.
“It’s beautiful.”
He got out and opened the door for her. After he shut it, they walked to the juice stand that faced the beach.
“What would you like?” he asked.
“Pineapple.”
“That’s what I’m going to get too.”
He paid for the drinks then they walked down to the beach.
“Why did you want to get juice?” she asked as she sat down.
“I assumed you didn’t care for alcohol.”
“What makes you think that?”
He shrugged. “You just don’t seem like it.”
She sipped her drink and looked straight ahead. A few people were walking their dogs along the sand. A group of tourists took pictures of the ocean from every angle. It was a waste of film. Something as beautiful as the Hawaiian shoreline could only be appreciated in real life.
“So, why do you need to learn self-defense?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Is that what this is all about? Interrogating me?”
“Maybe. Why won’t you just tell me?”
“It’s personal.”
“You already said that. Tell me the truth.”
“Please drop it.”
“Answer me this.”
“What?”
“Does Henry know?”
“No.”
“So no one knows?”
“No.”
“You’re going to take it to your grave?”
“Yes.”
He shook his head. “I’m asking as your instructor. Maybe I can help you.”
“I don’t need your help. I can take care of myself.”
“I believe that. But I also believe having help will only make it easier.”
She looked at him. “Coen, please drop it. I won’t ask you again.”
He met her gaze with the blue color of his eyes, which were sparkling bright. Every time she looked at him, she wanted to kiss his lips. She glanced at them then looked away. His shoulders were broad and wide and she wanted to rub her hands over them. This unstoppable attraction was starting to drive her insane. She accused him of being a pig but perhaps she was the pig. All she could think about was having sex in the back of his car.
“What are you thinking about?”
She flinched. “Uh...work.”
“Why are you thinking about that?”
She tried to think of something to say. “There’s this researcher that’s about to take his work into the field. I’ve been trying to get his attention but he can’t even remember my name.”
“Where do you work?”
“The aquarium.”
“Who is this guy?”
“Dr. Goldstein.”
He nodded. “And why do you want to do research with him?”
“I want to be a marine biologist. He’s published over twenty papers in his career. It’s astonishing. I’ve cleaned his lab and equipment, talked to him about his work, but he keeps calling me Stacy.”
“Don’t take it personally,” he said.
“I try not to.”
They were both quiet. Coen drank his juice then put down the empty cup.
“Can I ask you something, Coen?”
“Yeah.”
“What’s your girlfriend’s name?”
His eyes shined with anger. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Sorry,” she said quickly. “I mean your ex-girlfriend. The one from the bonfire.”
He sighed. “Audrey.”
“And what happened with her?”
He looked away. “I’ll tell you when you tell me why you want to learn self-defense.”
“I guess I’ll never find out, then.”
“I guess not.”
“Did you love her?”
“I thought I did.”
She nodded. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
He didn’t respond to her comment. “Why did you and Aaron break up?”
She raised an eyebrow. “How do you know about him?”
“College isn’t much different than high school.”
She sighed. “He cheated on me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you love him?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you still?”
“I guess.”
“So you aren’t over him?”
“No, I am. But a part of me will always care about him in a different way than everyone
else.”
“Well, that fucker sounds like an idiot. I don’t like him.”
She smiled. “Neither do my friends.”
“I bet Henry despises him.”
“He isn’t his biggest fan.”
“Have you been with anyone since?”
“No, I haven’t been dating.”
“You aren’t ready to move on?”
“No. I just haven’t found anyone that I liked.”
“Have you been fucking anyone?”
“That’s a personal question.”
“I didn’t mean to offend you. You don’t have to answer that.”
“No.”
“No, what?”
“I haven’t been with anyone else.” She wasn’t sure why she told him that. It just came out.
“I’ve fooled around with a few girls. They were all hit and runs.”
“How can you do that?”
“It’s just the physical act. No love is involved.”
“I could never do that.”
“You fucked Aaron.”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“I love him.”
“So you never fucked? You just made love the whole time?”
“No, I didn’t say that.”
“Then you have fucked just to fuck.”
“I’ve never screwed someone outside of a relationship.”
“You’ve never met someone that you just wanted to be physical with? You didn’t want a relationship but you definitely wanted that?”
She felt her cheeks blush so she looked away. That was exactly how she felt for Coen. “No.”
He smiled. “I know when you’re lying. You may as well drop the act.”
She dug her toes in the sand, feeling the grains touch her skin.
“You’re denying yourself satisfaction by being a prude like that.”
“I’m okay.”
“When’s the last time you had sex?”
“We just became friends and now you think you can ask me whatever you want?”
“I know you’ll answer. So when?”
“Six months ago.”
“Yikes. That’s—wow.”
“It’s been hard.”
“I bet it has,” he said with a laugh. “You must miss it.”
“I guess.”
“Well, that wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t true either.”
“Okay. I miss it a lot.”
“Well, you’re gorgeous. You could have your pick of any guy you want.”
“You think I’m gorgeous?”
“I definitely think that. I’m surprised you don’t.”
Her cheeks blushed.
“I’m available if you need my services.”
“Excuse me?”