by E. L. Todd
“I’m just saying,” he said with a laugh. “If you need help in that department, I wouldn’t mind stepping up.”
“And what makes you think I would even be interested?”
“You are on a date with me, aren’t you?”
“You said we’re just hanging out.”
“On a date,” he said with a smile.
There was a tingling sensation in her fingertips and her toes. She was insanely attracted to Coen and he would sleep with her if she asked him to, but she knew she couldn’t do it. She would fall for him and he would just leave, breaking her heart. He wanted her to be someone that he just fucked—never made love to.
She hugged her knees to her chest then looked out at the water. “I think I’m ready to go now.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Okay.” He stood up then pulled her to her feet. They walked back to the car and he helped her get in the passenger seat. “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable, Sydney,” he said as he looked at the road straight ahead.
She stared out the window, seeing he sun set behind the horizon.
“I like you. I want to spend more time with you—more dates.”
“I—I don’t know.”
“I know you like me.”
“What makes you think that?”
“You’re nervous around me—really nervous. I hear you talk to your friends and teachers. You’re only this way around me. I make you nervous and excited at the same time. I give you butterflies.”
She looked out the window, hiding her face. She wished she hadn’t been so obvious.
When he pulled into the parking lot, he parked next to her car. “Thanks for getting juice with me.”
“Yeah. Thanks for taking me.”
“Have a good night.”
She nodded then opened the door, relieved that he dropped the serious conversation. She got out of his car her then hopped inside her own. He stayed beside her while he waited for her to start her car. Every time she cranked the engine, it wouldn’t start. She took the key out and inserted it again, but it still wouldn’t go. The Jeep wasn’t that old. She really didn’t want to buy a new one.
“Car trouble?” he asked as he got out.
She cranked it again. “It won’t start.”
“Take the key out. You’ll flood it with gas.” He opened the hood and looked inside for a while. When he closed the engine, he wiped his hands on his jeans. “I don’t know what the problem is. I’ll have my uncle come look at it tomorrow. He’s a mechanic.”
“I’ll just call my insurance.”
“No,” he said quickly. “He’ll do it for free.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry about it.”
She was touched that he was willing to help her so much.
“Let me take you home.” He was standing at her side.
“It’s okay. I can call a friend.”
“Get in,” he said as he opened the passenger door of his car.
She sighed then did as he commanded.
“Good girl,” he said as he closed the door.
After he got inside the car, he drove them out to the road. She gave him directions on how to get to her secluded house by the beach. When he pulled into the dirt driveway under the trees, he gasped.
“Wow. This place is awesome.”
“Thanks,” she said with a smile.
“You live on the beach?”
“Pretty close to it.”
“How did you get this place? Do you have roommates?”
“I inherited it.”
He got quiet. “Oh. I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.”
He opened the door then got out. She followed him to the front door. She wasn’t sure if he was planning on walking her to the door or coming in. She didn’t know how she felt about either option.
When they walked up the steps, she grabbed her keys from her bag. “Thank you for taking me home.”
“Of course.” He put his hands in his pockets and looked at her. She knew she should look away. His lips looked too sexy. She wanted to kiss him even though she shouldn’t. She looked at the keys in her hand.
“Can I come inside?” he asked. “I would like to see your place.”
She felt her hands start to sweat. She didn’t trust herself to be alone with him. They would somehow end up naked on her bed, fucking like animals. Or at least that’s what she wanted to do. She assumed he did as well.
“I’m not going to be a pig, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
She smiled. “You’ll be a gentleman?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” She unlocked the door and they walked inside. She set her bag down like she did every day and walked into the living room. Coen moved around and looked at all the furniture and pictures on the tables. He went to the back door and looked at the view of the ocean.
“This place is just too good to be true.”
“Yeah, I love it.”
“You should.”
“It’s perfect. It’s small but I don’t need more than this.”
“I agree.” He came back to her and looked at her. “Can I stay awhile?”
“Sure. Are you hungry?”
“That depends. Are you a good cook?”
“I know a thing or two.”
“Then yes, I’m hungry.”
She turned around and started pulling ingredients together. He took a seat at the kitchen table and watched her but said nothing. She cooked rice with chicken then sliced some vegetables on the counter. She felt him watching her and it made her nervous.
“Do you pay rent?” he asked.
“No. It’s paid off.”
“So why do you work?”
“Food, gas, phone bill.”
“That’s nice.”
“Yeah. I don’t have any complaints.” Her phone started to buzz on the counter. She didn’t touch it because her hands were wet and sticky, but she looked at the screen. It was Henry. She remembered that she was supposed to call him.
“Let me guess who it is,” he said with a smile. “Shakespeare wrote a play about him?”
She ignored him.
“You should tell him about us soon.”
“Us?” she asked as she washed her hands in the sink. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“Yeah, there is. You and I are dating.”
“No, we aren’t.”
“Yes, we are.”
“I just met you.”
“What’s your point?”
She walked over and stopped in front of him. “I don’t know what impression I—”
He pulled her into his lap, her face an inch away from his. She was silent as she felt his hands on her hips. He rubbed his nose against hers and stared into her eyes, making her heart melt. She was speechless, unable to say anything.
She stared at his lips. “I thought—you were going to be a—gentleman?”
“Do you want me to be?” he whispered.
“I—I don’t know.”
He pressed his forehead against hers. “I’ll play it safe since you’re unsure.”
“Uh, okay.”
He kissed the tip of her nose. “I really like you, Sydney.”
“You don’t even know me,” she whispered. “I’m not the kind of girl you want.”
“And what kind of girl do I want?”
“Someone that sleeps around. I’m not like that.”
“I’m glad you aren’t like that.”
“What?”
“I want to get to know you better. I respect you.”
She placed her hands on his shoulders. “No. I can’t.”
“Can’t what?”
“I don’t trust you.”
“Why not? I won’t lie to you, Syd.”
“You’re just going to get me into bed then never call me again. Make me fall in love with you before you disappear. Then, you are going to cheat on me. I can’t deal with that a second time.”
“I’m not going to do
any of those things.”
“You’re right. You’re not.” She rose from the chair then stepped away from him. “I think you should go. I don’t want you here.” She hid her face from him so he couldn’t see her vulnerability.
“No.”
“I just asked you to leave.”
“If I leave, you’ll avoid me and I’ll never get a chance to convince you that I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Words are only words.”
He came up behind her and wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her against his chest. “Listen to me. I really like you, Syd. And I want a chance to be with you. We can take this as slow as you want.” She tried to move from his arms but he kept her there, against his beating heart. “Let’s start dating. We won’t have sex and I won’t cheat on you. We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. Just spend more time with me.”
She turned around and looked at him. “I said no.”
“And I don’t accept that answer.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “I won’t have sex with you even if you beg me to.”
“What makes you think I would even want to?”
He smiled. “You aren’t fooling anybody.”
She blushed, ashamed that he recognized the desire in between her legs.
“Just date me. I won’t see anyone else and I won’t lie to you. Spend more time with me, please.”
“We can try.”
He smiled. “Thank you.” He kissed her on the forehead. “That’s all I want.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close to her. Feeling his strong body was arousing and relaxing at the same time. She had a feeling she would regret it, but she wanted him so much that she couldn’t stop herself.
“Finish dinner,” he whispered.
“Okay.” She turned away then finished the remaining touches of the meal. She placed the food on the table then sat down. She was about to grab her fork when there was a knock on the door.
“I’ll be right back,” she said.
“Okay.”
She walked to the front door then opened it. “Henry?”
“Hey,” he said with a sigh. “I was worried. You didn’t return my calls.” He looked over his shoulder at Coen’s car. “And whose car is that? What happened to yours?”
“Well, my car wouldn’t start in the parking lot so Coen gave me a ride home.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Is he still here?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Is he leaving now?”
“Um, no. I made dinner. He wanted to see the house.”
He had a pained expression on his face. The light in his eyes was absent and he didn’t meet her gaze. He stared at the door frame instead of Sydney. Now she felt so stupid for not seeing it before. Henry did have feelings for her. “Are you—on a date?” he whispered.
She couldn’t stand the pain in his eyes. It was heartbreaking. “No,” she lied.
He breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, okay.”
She stepped toward him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, trying to hide her face from view. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close to him, breathing in her scent. They stood there together for a long time. When she thought she had her emotions under control, she pulled away. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” she said with a fake smile.
“Okay. Let me know if you want me to get rid of him.”
She nodded. “I’m fine. But, thanks.”
“Bye,” he said as he walked back to his car.
After Sydney closed the door, she slid to the floor and hugged herself. Tears fell from her eyes now that she saw the truth of Henry’s affection. He was totally and completely in love with her. Why hadn’t she seen it before?
Coen walked into the room and sat on the ground across from her. He didn’t say anything but nothing needed to be said.
She reached her hands out, beckoning him to her. He leaned against the wall and wrapped his arms around her. She turned into his shoulder and rested her face against his chest.
He stroked her hair. “I’m sorry.”
7
“I didn’t want to be right, you know.”
She nodded. “I know.” She stared at her hands, looking at their shape and texture. She was trying to get her mind off the harsh reality. “I can’t hurt him. I love him so much. I can’t do it.”
He lifted her up and carried her to the couch. “I know.”
“What am I going to do?”
“Tell him the truth.”
“It’ll kill him.”
“Well, what did he think when he saw my car in the driveway?”
“That we were on a date.”
“And he was okay with that?”
“I lied and said we weren’t.”
He nodded but didn’t say anymore.
“When he thought we were more than friends, he looked like the world had ended. I couldn’t tell him the truth—not like that.”
“Then what are you going to do?”
“I have no fucking idea. I want to cause him the least amount of pain as possible.”
He sighed. “You’re going to cause him pain no matter what you do.”
“I know.”
“Sit down and talk to him. Tell him that you don’t have feelings for him but you love him more like a brother. Then, tell him about me.”
“I’m not going to tell him about you.”
He raised an eyebrow. “So you’re just going to lie to him? You know how shitty he’s going to feel when he hears it from everyone else?”
“We won’t tell anyone else.”
“What? We are just going to keep everything a secret?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t agree to that.”
“Well, I’m not gonna drop a bomb like that on him. If I talk to him, I need to give him time to accept what I say before he sees me with someone else. I’m not cruel, Coen.”
“Well, I don’t like being someone’s dirty secret.”
“It wouldn’t be like that.”
“That’s how I feel.”
“You asked me if I wanted to start dating—not be in a committed relationship.”
“Yes, but I didn’t say I wanted it to be a secret. I want to take you out to ice cream, the movies, the beach—public places.”
“I know this isn’t fair to you, but we either keep it secret for a while or this isn’t going to happen. I love Henry. I need to make sure he’s okay first.”
“I’m not trying to be cold, but his feelings aren’t your problem. He’s a man—he’ll get over it.”
“I realize that but I don’t want to lose what we have. He’s my best friend. I don’t want him to disappear from my life because I didn’t handle this right.”
“That’s a very likely scenario no matter what you do. I’m sure he’s had feelings for you the entire time you’ve been friends, so in a way, you’ve never been friends. He’s wanted to get with you the entire time. He probably wouldn’t spend so much time with you if he wasn’t in love with you. And to get over you, he’s going to want space. He can’t see you every day and not feel that way.”
She ran her fingers through her hair. “You aren’t making me feel better.”
“I’m not trying to.”
“What do I do? What do I do?” She leaned back on the couch and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Have him come over tomorrow and tell him the truth. That’s step one.”
“What’s step two?”
“You won’t know until you see how he reacts.”
“I’m not telling him about you.”
He sighed. “Fine. But I’m not going to stay in the closet forever. I’m giving you a small amount of time.”
“Thanks for being so understanding,” she said sarcastically.
“You’re lucky I’m putting up with it at all. I hate lying and being deceitful.”
“Well, I’ll tell him tomorrow after school.”
“Maybe w
e can set him up with someone. I have a few girl friends.”
“Henry is very attractive. I’m sure he can get his own dates if he wants them.”
He leaned back on the couch and placed his hand on mine. “It’ll be okay.”
She smiled. “Thanks for trying to make me feel better.”
“Don’t get used to it,” he teased. “Can we stop talking about Henry now?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. Because I want to invite you to dinner tomorrow night.”
She wished she had the strength to say no, but she was weak. Coen made her feel weak, excited, and crazy all at the same time. “Okay.”
He smiled. “I thought I would have to convince you.”
“I thought so too.”
“I’ll pick you up at seven.”
“Okay.”
He stared at her for a long time, his blue eyes shining bright. Waves of passion vibrated in his eyes. She felt unnerved by the look. He could be intimidating and sexy at the same time. She was so nervous she thought she would be sick. He leaned closer to her, his forehead pressed against hers. He stared at her lips for a long time, his warm breath falling on her skin. She knew she couldn’t let this happen, but she wasn’t moving. She stayed there—waiting.
Coen didn’t move, just continued to stare. He pulled away slightly then glanced at her eyes, looking at the vibrant colors then returned his gaze to her lips. He placed his hand on her cheek, his lips only inches away from hers.
Sydney wanted this to happen. Now she was just waiting for it. She hardly knew him, but she wanted to feel the strong connection with him, to release her sexual desire for him. Perhaps it was just lust, but she wanted more of him, all of him. She was so scared to cross the line. There would only be heartbreak and pain on the other side. Knowing this, she still didn’t move, waiting to feel his wet lips on hers. She never wanted anything more in her life. The anticipation was more exciting than any intimate touch she had with Aaron. The realization frightened her. Coen made her feel things she’d never experienced. He didn’t even have to try. The chemistry was there, surging between them.
Coen looked into her eyes then brought his lips to her cheek, leaving a long kiss on the skin. She felt disappointment as well as relief. He pulled away and looked at her. “I should go if I want to keep my word to you.”
“Your word?”
“That I’ll be a gentleman.”