Pretending Hearts

by Topham Wood, Heather

  I took my time answering. I tried not to get pulled in by the way he smiled as if I were the only person in the universe who truly mattered. Or the way his brown eyes seemed to darken with desire each time he looked my way. What would his parents see when they saw us together? Would they consider me another conquest of their wayward son? Or would they see the way he responded to me and believe I could be the one to change him for the better?

  Early on, Wyatt had explained how he never had a serious girlfriend. I always thought the reason was because he wasn’t interested in anything long-term. But maybe the reason was because not many girls would put up with his baggage.

  “I’ll go to dinner with you and your parents,” I said reluctantly. This could be a make or break dinner. Seeing the way Wyatt interacted with his family could give me more insight into his character. On paper, Wyatt and I made sense, but my heart wasn’t convinced.

  “Great, I’ll set it up,” he said and scooted closer on the couch. I felt him playing with a loose strand of my hair. After a pause, he mused, “Guess I’ll have to meet your parents soon.”

  My body reacted as if he had tossed me into an ice cold bath. My spine stiffened and my teeth gritted together. What a truly god-awful idea. A dinner with my parents would mean my mom grilling Wyatt on his family’s annual net worth and my father trying to conceal the fact he had a starring role on our neighborhood’s sex offender registry.

  “Well… maybe. My parents are going through an ugly divorce now and dinner with them would be very awkward.” I covered for them and hoped Wyatt would leave the topic alone. Meeting Blake was going to be an ordeal as it was. I’d have to make Blake promise not to bring along Autumn. Wyatt could ask all sorts of questions—eventually leading him to open a Pandora’s box that would never be shut. Even simple questions like how did Blake and Autumn meet could uncover the ugly truth about my family. I could only guess at how thrilled my brother was going to be over my insistence on keeping his fiancée far away from my boyfriend. But his relationship with Autumn was Blake’s mess—not mine.

  “All right, but we’ll go to a Warriors game soon?”

  “Yes,” I replied and nodded enthusiastically, glad for the subject change. “I’ll call my brother about the upcoming home games.”

  Wyatt seemed satisfied with my answer and didn’t mention again about meeting my parents. Telling him the truth wasn’t possible—at least, not yet. I needed a strong foundation to be in place—for a mutual trust to exist. Because the guy I told about my family would have to see past my family’s mistakes and not allow their skeletons to affect the way he felt about me. Wyatt hadn’t earned that distinction yet.

  Chapter Nine

  Three days later, I was sitting in the stands watching Wyatt dominate in his soccer game. Surprisingly, I loved going to his games. I’d been raised to believe there was only one type of “football” that mattered, but after being a spectator at several games, soccer was gaining more appeal. I loved how fast the game moved and how easily control of the scoreboard could change in a match. Also, Wyatt was breathtaking in his uniform. The muscles in his arms and legs strained against the snug fit of his uniform. His features were resolute as he out-maneuvered the opposing team and scored again and again.

  Wyatt was a natural athlete and he seemed the most relaxed on the field. I found out the qualms I had about our relationship usually melted away in the span of an hour game. I saw glimpses of the Wyatt I was most attracted to and I had renewed hope for what the future could bring.

  After the game concluded and Cook won, Wyatt met me at the sidelines for a sweaty kiss. I scrunched up my nose in mock distaste as I pulled away. “You did amazing job and I’ll give you a better kiss once you’re showered.”

  “Hmmm… I can’t wait,” he said and rested his forehead against mine. “Want to go to my place?”

  “Mind meeting at the dorm? I have a paper due in philosophy tomorrow,” I replied.

  “Just hand in a paper that says your philosophy is term papers suck ass,” he said.

  I shook my head. “I’m sure that will go over well.”

  “Did Georgia come with you to the game?”

  “No, she said all the cute guys are on the football team.”

  He put a hand over his heart. “That really stings. I hope you defended my team’s reputation.”

  “Of course I did,” I said. “I told her soccer boys were the way to go if you were looking for guys with stamina.”

  “Good. If you get your paper done early enough, we should test out that theory,” he suggested and waggled his eyebrows up and down.

  “Don’t distract me then by arguing with Georgie when you come by.”

  The pair fought like siblings and their bickering brought on the urge to keep them sequestered. Wyatt got along much better with his actual sister Fallon. Too bad Fallon was sort of crazy. She was into name-dropping D-list celebs she had slept with and showing off the extravagant gifts the conquests had apparently given her. Georgie would mouth the word “klepto” behind her back in the middle of her tangents. Fallon hadn’t completely warmed to me yet, but I wasn’t too concerned. I guessed the problem was I couldn’t keep a straight face during her story of how she turned a well-known gay actor “straight” for the night. I was dating her brother and roommates with one of her so-called best friends. She was stuck with me, so she’d have to find a way for us to be civil.

  “I’ll play nice.” He pecked me on the lips. “I’ll be over in about thirty.” He waved before jogging over to rejoin his team and head into the locker rooms. A few of the players acknowledged me with nods. I was slowly becoming known around campus as Wyatt’s girlfriend.

  Since our talk at his apartment, I had felt Wyatt’s attitude change. He had been more considerate and I could see the effort he was putting into wooing me. The last couple times we had sex, he hadn’t slammed into me until I couldn’t feel my pelvis anymore. He was sweet and hadn’t rushed to his climax. I was hoping we were finally in sync.

  I vowed to tell my brother about Wyatt—as soon as I gathered up the nerve. I was afraid of my brother’s reaction which was why Wyatt had been nonexistent from our conversations. The reasons for my reluctance to tell Blake were simple. I didn’t want him to tell me not to date Wyatt. I pictured Blake hearing the name Wyatt Johnston and having the same reaction as Autumn. Even if Blake didn’t freak at first, I could visualize Autumn getting into my brother’s head and poisoning him against Wyatt before they had a chance to meet.

  Wyatt was a year younger than Blake and although he had known of my brother (much like any living and breathing Cook University alum) they hadn’t traveled in the same social circles. Wyatt had nothing but praise for my brother and I was going to kill Blake if he didn’t play nice with a guy I really liked.

  On my way back from Wyatt’s game, I passed beside the football field. I hadn’t gone to a game yet, but Georgie said the team wasn’t doing poorly despite losing their star player. I had attended a few games last year for Blake’s final year at Cook, but an internal conflict started each time I entered the stadium. I felt like I was betraying my mom and dad because they weren’t welcome in Blake’s life. Also, if I sat with Autumn to watch the game and tried to be friendly with her, wasn’t that a slap in the face to my mom and dad? Instead, I would hang near the exit and watch my brother play undetected. My brother never knew I was there to support him, but I still got the chance to see him play.

  The walk back to the dorms took less than fifteen minutes. I opted to climb the stairs again, my way of avoiding the “freshman fifteen.” After a month of cafeteria food and takeout, my stomach lining likely had the consistency of grease. Cook had a gym as well and I tried to log miles on the treadmill. I found running helped me clear my head when I felt at odds with Wyatt.

  When I came upon my dorm room, I was surprised to find the door locked. Georgie had planned to catch up on her favorite reality shows for the rest of the afternoon. Rarely, she locked the door when she was i
n our room.

  After unlocking and pushing open the door, I heard harsh whispers carry through the doorway. The whispers stopped as I opened the door fully and stepped inside. Georgie and Fallon stood in the middle of the room. Both girls were staring at me with matching uneasy expressions.

  “Hi, what’s going on?” I asked, immediately sensing tension.

  Georgie’s cheeks flushed and she turned to Fallon with a helpless look on her face. Fallon shrugged in response to Georgie’s unspoken question. I played with the keys in my hand as I watched the exchange. My confusion was compounded with each passing minute.

  Finally, Georgie looked back at me. I didn’t expect the daggers she flung in my direction. She stomped over to her desk and snatched off a magazine resting on top. She curled the magazine in her hand before marching up to me. She swatted the magazine against my chest.

  I recoiled and kept my hands motionless at my sides. I had no clue what had transpired in the couple of hours since leaving the room. Before I left for the game, Georgie and I had been having a silly debate over the merits of preppy guys versus edgy guys. I had no idea what changed and caused Georgie to stare me down as if I killed her puppy.

  “Take it,” Georgie sneered and swatted me again. My hands transformed into fists at my sides and I swore if she hit me with the damn magazine one more time, I was going to knock her out. I snatched the magazine out of her hands and unfurled the paper in my hands. Before I could read the headline, my heart sunk and I felt all of my words get tied up in my throat. Printed in the magazine was a picture of Autumn and Blake cuddling on a sofa—starting at each other as if no one else in the world existed. Next to their photo was a smaller and grainier black and white photo of my father.

  “Is that story fucking true?” Georgie spat in my direction.

  I didn’t look up at her, but the venom in her tone wrapped around my core. My vision became hazy, but I blinked back the tears. I was untouchable. I wouldn’t break down ever again because of Autumn Dorey.

  I scanned the headline: Twisted Triangle: Sex Assault Victim Engaged to Perp’s NFL Son. The headline alone was enough to make me vomit. I couldn’t bear to read any of the accompanying text—because honestly I didn’t need to. I knew the story all too well. And because my brother was in the public eye, I should’ve figured it wouldn’t be long before the rest of the world knew all the dirty details.

  Fallon walked over to stand next to Georgie in an obvious show of solidarity. Her expression was almost gleeful as I stared at them both—stunned silent.

  Georgie drew up to her full height. “I asked you a question. Is… the… story… true?” she enunciated every word slowly, lacing each syllable with as much disgust as possible.

  I tore my eyes away from the photos splayed across the magazine. I had no idea when the photo of Autumn and Blake were taken, but I guessed they were attending an NFL function. They were both perfectly coiffed with huge smiles and sparkling eyes. My father’s photo was unflattering and taken during the time of his arrest. The magazine might as well have printed the words “GUILTY” in big bold letters above his picture.

  “This is the first time I’ve seen this, so I have no idea if the story is true or not,” I said coolly.

  Fallon snickered. “Look how she’s trying to deflect.”

  I ignored Fallon. Acknowledging her would only give her more power. “What do you want to know, Georgie?”

  “Everyone is saying that your father was Autumn Dorey’s teacher and he tried to rape her. While he was in jail, she hooked up with your brother.” Georgie cast her eyes heavenward and complained, “It sounds like the plot of a trashy soap opera.”

  I crossed my arms in front of my body. “Who is 'everyone'? And how is this any of your business?”

  “Are you fucking serious? You introduced your rapist dad to me! He was in my room! I could be a freaking target now for all I know,” she said in an affronted tone.

  “I’m sure in the thirty seconds he was here, you were in grave danger,” I said evenly.

  “And look how you’re acting now! You don’t even feel bad about keeping the fact your father went to jail for attempted rape from me!” she shouted. If our floor wasn’t aware of the scandal then, they were after Georgie’s explosion. I’d made a few casual acquaintances among the floormates and hoped for them to become eventual friends. With the freak-branding from Georgie, I doubted anyone would speak to me again.

  “I don’t feel bad?” I demanded. “I feel bad every single day. Every day I have to deal with the accusations against my father. Every day I have to deal with my brother believing our father is guilty. Every day I have to deal with the fact my brother fell in love with the girl who tore apart my family.”

  Georgie and Fallon didn’t seem moved by my outburst. I was to be held accountable for the things Blake and my dad had done. I never had a say in the choices they made, but that didn’t matter. My unbreakable blood bond was enough to put me forever out of favor with Georgie.

  Georgie opened up her mouth to reply, but stopped because of a sound at the door. Because I seemed to be cosmically cursed, Wyatt had to enter the room at that very second.

  His face was grave and I realized he wasn’t about to be blindsided. He’d already been told about my family. Georgie rushed past me and crashed into Wyatt’s chest. His cold eyes were locked on mine as he put his arms around her. I supposed he didn’t care I was the one who could really use a hug after the shit storm I walked into.

  Wyatt’s expression was grim. “I’ve gotten about twenty texts in the last fifteen minutes. This shit about your dad and brother is all over campus.”

  Wyatt waited and I wondered if he expected me to respond. What was the appropriate way to act? Inside, I was falling to pieces. Not only did the story unglue my newly constructed life at Cook, but my father and brother would have to handle being the subject of media scrutiny once again.

  We had gone through hell four years ago when Autumn first accused my dad. At the time, she was a junior in high school and my dad was her math teacher. My father said they had an affair, but Autumn went to the cops and claimed my dad sexually assaulted her and would’ve raped her if she hadn’t escaped. The media latched onto the salacious details of a teacher targeting a young and beautiful cheerleader. The story got even more attention when Autumn’s former friends leaked suggestive photos of her. The pictures were of the soft porn variety and cast doubt on her story.

  I loved my father. I never wanted to mistrust the man who pushed me on our tire swing and taught me how to catch fireflies.

  Wyatt released Georgie. “I don’t know exactly what’s going on, so maybe you can help me out, Del.” I tensed at the nickname I only allowed my brother to use. “Your father is a rapist and your brother went in for seconds?”

  “Fuck you,” I breathed.

  In a single sentence, Wyatt had made his stance clear. There would be no happily ever after for him and me. There would be no compassion for the impossible situation I’d found myself in.

  “Why would Autumn date the son of the guy who molested her? That is beyond sick,” Fallon said.

  “I’m not living with a girl whose dad has been in jail for a sex crime,” Georgie declared. “I know the deadline for a room change has already passed, but they’ll have to make an exception.”

  “No need. I’m leaving,” I said flatly.

  I opened my drawers and started pulling out random articles of clothing. I piled the clothes on top of my bed before grabbing a duffel bag I had stored in the closet. Wyatt came up next to me and his hand at my elbow stilled my movements. I looked at him and hoped for the impossible. I wished for him to be different. I wished for him to not be like the boys in high school who treated me like I was never good enough.

  “You know who my dad is. Were you really going to let me introduce you to them without telling me about your father?” he hissed. “My family can’t be tied to that kind of scandal. You would’ve ruined my career before I even got started.
”

  I rolled my eyes. “Well, you’ve ruined my sex life for the past month, so consider us even.”

  "Bitch," Wyatt mumbled under his breath, but I ignored the slur. He wanted to break me and he had no idea how strong of a shell I had in place at times of crisis.

  I shoved a few more things into my duffel and then gathered up my textbooks. I had no idea where I was going, but once I packed what I considered essentials, I pushed past the trio of sanctimonious accusers. I could feel the tears begging for release, but I wouldn’t give Wyatt and Georgie the satisfaction of making me cry.

  “I considered you a friend, Delia and I feel completely betrayed,” Georgie sniffed, and I almost laughed in disbelief. I felt transported back in time to when I found out about Autumn and Blake. The feeling was reminiscent of being trapped in an alternate reality.

  “Don’t call me,” Wyatt said. “We’re done.”

  “Do you mean I don’t get to be your cum dumpster anymore, Wyatt?” I pouted exaggeratedly, sticking out my lower lip and holding the mocking pose with every bit of my willpower. “I’ll try to pull through this difficult time.” Although I was fighting an internal battle to not fall apart, my voice held strong.

  Wyatt made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat. Fallon put a hand on his shoulder while narrowing her eyes at me. “Don’t worry, she’s finished at this school.”

  I refused to respond to Fallon’s clichéd mean-girl act and waltzed out of the room with my head held high. I wouldn’t fight to be part of their world. I had seen what lay beneath their polished exterior and there was nothing of value.