Bad Company: Company of Sinners MC #1

by Lisa J. Hobman

  Her eyes sprang open and widened. “What? You saw Esme? But she didn’t tell me she—”

  It was clear that she was getting angry at her friend’s apparent betrayal, and so I rushed to explain. “I took her for coffee and explained everything. But I made her swear not to say anything to you about seeing me. She reluctantly gave me your address even though she said we were wasting our time. She also said I broke your heart and that you still loved me. That filled me with hope, and we came here.”

  She closed her eyes again and covered her face with her hands.

  I noticed a new addition to her finger. A white gold ring with diamonds. Fuck… Dermott is pretty serious, huh? I should’ve been happy that it wasn’t on her wedding ring finger, but she was still wearing the damn thing. I pushed the hurt down… deep down, and tried to swallow past the lump that had begun to tighten my throat. “We have new names… new passports… new identities. Cameron and Rayna Iss.” My voice broke as I explained, and my eyes remained locked on the stones glinting in the light. I laughed and lowered my gaze to my hands once more. “I think I got attached to that name because it reminds me of how you and I had met.” I fell silent for a few moments, and when I lifted my head again, she was watching me intently and her eyes were still glistening with tears. Keeping my gaze locked on hers, I carried on. “I had my tats worked over. You would never know that I’d had any connection to Cosmic. Where my back piece used to say Company of Sinners, there’s a whole new scene of ink. Roses to remind me of you. A broken heart to show what I felt when I left you.”

  She remained silent, just listening and watching me, and so I decided to keep going. “It was weird, you know… They held a funeral for Cain and Rosa. They spread the word that the gunshot had killed me and that Rosa had taken her own life through grief. And so from that point, we both ceased to exist. It was for the best. Well, that’s what they kept telling us. I’m not so sure, to be honest with you. But anyways, when they heard about the funeral, I think the Legion realised that there had been too much death between the two clubs, and they called a kind of truce. This—coming here—was supposed to be a fresh start for us both.” I sighed and the weight of my situation pushed me down. Kelly was marrying Dermott. I had no place in Utah, and now no place in Scotland either. “I guess I’ll have to rethink things now.”

  She stared at me, still not speaking but with a trembling chin.

  I stood again and walked around to stand before her. “Look, Kelly… I know I said some dumb shit, and I know that I’m not the best fit for you.” My voice broke as I tried to get the rest of my words out, and the loss I was feeling twisted at my heart. “Fuck, you can do so much better, and no doubt Dermott is all the fucking man you’ll ever really need. But the thing is… you fit me, Kelly. And regardless of what I said before about not wanting the marriage and commitment thing after Melody… I was stupid. And I would have made an exception for you. I want you to know that. You would be the only woman I could ever consider making that kind of commitment to. The only exception, Kelly.” I bent and kissed her forehead and then with one last long look into her beautiful green eyes, I left.

  As I closed the door behind me, I paused in the hope that she would come running after me.

  She didn’t.

  I scraped my hair back and tied it up as I walked away from the woman I loved with all my heart, and as I did, a car pulled up and a guy with dirty-blonde hair climbed out. He was holding a huge bouquet of flowers in one hand, a small blue gift bag with white ribbon in the other, and he was grinning like an idiot.

  It dawned on me who he was.

  “Dermott,” I growled to myself.

  He heard me and stopped.

  “Yeah?” The look of confusion told me that he was rifling through his mind trying to place who I was. But I knew we’d never actually met. Suddenly his eyes widened. “Oh… you’re… it’s…”

  I nodded. “Cameron. I’m Cameron,” I told him, and then I walked away without looking back.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Cameron

  With a heavy and defeated heart, I opened the front door to the little cottage I was renting for me and Rayna. It was still fucking weird calling Rosa by a totally different name, but she was doing great with remembering to call me Cameron. She even called me Cam on occasion; she figured, she informed me, that she’d shorten it if it were my real name. Crazy kid.

  There was a mouth-watering smell of baking emanating from the kitchen, and I made my way through to find Rayna putting the finishing touches to a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. It smelled amazing, but I knew why she’d made it, and it hurt like hell that I was about to let her down. I walked over and ruffled her hair before placing a kiss on the top of her newly dyed red hair. And when I say red, I mean the colour they paint mailboxes in the UK. It suited her and somehow made her eyes even more vivid blue.

  “Hey, big bro. How’d it go with Kelly? Did you propose on the shore of the loch? When do I get to meet her? Is she your wee lassie now?” Her barrage of questions and terrible attempt at a Scottish accent made me smile in spite of my heartache. She was nothing if not enthusiastic about love.

  But my smile soon faded. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. She’s…” I cleared my throat. “She’s marrying someone else.”

  Rayna dropped the utensil she was using and flung herself into my arms. “Oh my gosh, no! That wasn’t supposed to happen. I don’t understand. You loved each other. It’s only been six months or so.”

  “Yeah… but sometimes love just isn’t enough.”

  She pulled away and glared at me. “You’re wrong. Love is always enough. Take that back.”

  I shrugged as the weight of the realisation that I had lost Kelly forever pushed down on me and my lip trembled. I fought the emotion hard. The last thing I wanted to do was break down in front of my kid sister. “Not this time, Ray.”

  She scrunched her brow and shook her head defiantly. “But you’ll make it work. She’ll see sense.”

  I cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead. “I’m gonna go take a nap, kiddo.” I turned and walked away as she began slamming the dishes into the sink.

  As I made my way up the stairs, I stuck my fingers into my pocket and pulled out the silver ring I’d been keeping there. Holding it aloft, I watched as the tiny diamonds set into the infinity symbol glinted in the light coming through the glass in the front door. It wasn’t an engagement ring. More of a promise of what I had wanted from our future. It was such a shame that Dermott had beaten me to it.

  Clutching the silver band in my fist, I closed my eyes as sadness washed over me.

  Kelly

  Dermott turned around to blow a kiss in my direction as he left. Completely daft but such a sweet guy all the same.

  I twisted the ring he gave me around my finger. I didn’t deserve his love.

  The day so far had been an exhausting period of discussions and difficult decisions, and I felt drained. As I stood there watching his retreating form, I spotted a young woman wearing post-box-red hair, skinny jeans, a white tank top, and bright white trainers, walking down toward my house. I glanced along at the other houses, but everyone appeared to be out, and I absently felt for the poor wee girl for having wasted a very long walk from the main road.

  As I turned to go back inside, a voice stopped me in my tracks. “Kelly!”

  Turning around again, I watched as the young woman jogged toward me, looking rather upset. “It is Kelly, right?”

  “Yes… yes, I’m Kelly. And… who are you?” I didn’t really need an answer, as the American accent gave her away.

  “My name is… um… Rayna… Rayna Iss. I’m—”

  “Cameron’s sister. Yes, I figured that out, actually. What are you doing here?”

  She stopped at the end of my front path and folded her arms defensively across her chest as she narrowed her eyes. “I need to talk with you.”

  I nodded. “Well, you’d better come in, then.”

  Surprise register
ed on her face as if she’d thought I would’ve sent her away. But when I stepped inside she followed me.

  “Can I get you a cup of tea or coffee, Rayna?”

  “Um… sure. Coffee, thanks. Your accent’s cute.”

  I smiled. “Thanks. So is yours.”

  We walked through to the kitchen, and I gestured for her to sit. She glanced at the table for a moment, still appearing to have doubts about my reaction toward her. She sat and folded her arms once more. “He never stopped thinking about you.” Blunt and to the point.

  I kept my back to her and prepared the mugs before me. “Yeah. He said that when he came to see me.”

  “He thinks he’s not worthy of you. He just gave up because he thinks that the other guy is more your type.” With the way she said your type I could imagine her making little air quotes, and I smiled to myself. “But the truth is, Kelly your type is whomever you’re in love with. And you’re in love with my brother.”

  And crack went my heart. She was right.

  She heaved a frustrated sigh and slapped her hands on her thighs. “When Melody got pregnant, he always said he’d never marry her. Did you know that? He loved her. Of course he did. He adored her and took care of her like she was some fragile little doll. But marriage? Nah… that wasn’t something he could ever see working for him. Even she wasn’t enough to make him want that kind of commitment. But you. Whole other story. You were the one exception to that rule. Marrying you is something he wanted even though he couldn’t admit it to you. And the reason he couldn’t admit it is because he still feels he’s not good enough for you. The criminal biker and the shrink. It’s not what happens in real life, you know?”

  I slowly turned to face her as my stomach dropped. I’d had no idea about that particular fact. He hadn’t told me that he hadn’t wanted to marry Melody. As far as I was concerned, she was the love of his life and I was second fiddle to anything he had ever felt for her.

  I carried the two mugs across to the table and with shaking hands I placed them down as carefully as I could. “He… he wasn’t going to marry Melody?”

  She snorted. “Nope. I was so damned angry with him over the whole thing. He’d been such a player before her. A different woman every night. Leaving ‘em begging for more. It was disgusting. Truly. But you can’t choose your family. And I do love the bastard. Then he met Mel and he seemed to change. Seeing him being monogamous was weird. And boy, did Mel come in for some shit from his other hos. But all that said… he wouldn’t do the marriage thing. Insisted that no woman would convince him otherwise.” She tentatively sipped at her steaming coffee and stared at my hands. I glanced down too and realised that the ring Dermott gave me looked out of place even on my right hand. As if she knew what I was thinking Rayna chimed in, “The idiot. Did Cam even give you the ring he got you?”

  I snapped my gaze up to meet her vivid blue eyes straight on and opened my mouth as the words took root in my mind and echoed around my head like I was standing in the Grand Canyon. “W-what?”

  “I’ll take that as a no, huh?” She placed her mug down and held both hands up in a cease gesture. “Don’t freak out, okay? He wasn’t gonna propose or anything dumb like that. Not yet anyway. He knew he had a lot of making up to do. But he wanted to show you he was committed to you. He got you this gorgeous infinity symbol ring. Infinity, Kelly.” She raised her eyebrows to punctuate her point before huffing out a long breath through puffed cheeks. “Fucking coward never even gave it to you. Shit, what an asshole my brother is, huh? How the hell are you gonna know he means business if he doesn’t go the extra mile?”

  Assuming the questions were rhetorical, I stared open-mouthed, still trying to process the fact that he had bought me a ring.

  A ring with an infinity symbol on it.

  A bloody ring, for goodness’ sake!

  “Tell me something, Kelly. Why would you marry someone else when it’s clear you’re crazy about my dumb-ass brother? I mean, if you didn’t love him you’d have told me to leave by now.”

  Her words brought me back to earth with a bump. “Marry someone else?”

  “Yeah. The guy who was leaving as I got here. I take it he’s the ‘perfect’ guy for you?” Yep… she did the air quotes thing. “The one that my hulking, tattooed, jerk of a brother couldn’t clean the boots of?”

  What the hell did she mean that Cain… Cameron couldn’t clean Dermott’s boots? “I’m… I’m sorry Rayna I have no clue what you mean by that.”

  She rolled her eyes like an errant teenager and shook her head. “Fuck, seriously? Jeez, I’m only just an adult and I see things so much clearer than you douches.” She heaved a disgruntled sigh. “Cam arrived home looking all broken-hearted. Said you were marrying some other guy. I get here and see Mr Perfect-Ass leaving and blowing you a kiss. In my head, that’s a serious two-plus-two-making-four situation right there.”

  Ah. Okay, now I get it. I disappeared into my head once again, and my thoughts left my mouth before I could rein them in. “Dermott is just… so right for me.” Obviously I was still trying to process this new batch of information that Rayna had dumped on me like a heavy snowfall.

  Sadness washed over her pretty features, and for a moment I thought she was going to cry. But instead she leaned across the table and squeezed my arm gently. “Look… if you really do believe that… then I wish you all the happiness in the world. I really do. I’d… I’d better go. I’m sorry to have taken up your time. I had to try though. For Cain’s sake. You understand right?”

  Hearing her call him by his real name again snapped me from my daze. “Yes… of course you did. I totally understand. You’re just looking out for your brother.”

  She stood and walked around the table to hug me, and my eyes suddenly began to sting as the sweet but feisty young woman held me tight.

  Her voice wavered as she spoke. “It’s a shame, you know. I was kinda looking forward to having a big sister. Be happy, Kelly. Whatever you do, make sure it’s what makes you happy.” She released me from her embrace and walked away; and as I heard the front door close behind her, I began to sob.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Cameron

  I’d never had a doorbell before. And lying there in bed after my feeble attempt at trying to sleep, I was ready to rip the fucking thing from the wall.

  “Rayna! Could you get the goddamn door?” I shouted at the top of my lungs, but she didn’t answer. “Ray-na!” I shouted again. Still no fucking answer. She’d obviously gone out in a bad mood after our earlier conversation. I huffed and pulled my jeans up my legs and made my way down the stairs.

  I almost yanked the door off its hinges in my frustration. An old guy stood there holding a bouquet of flowers. It obviously hadn’t taken Rayna long to get an admirer. I frowned. “Sorry, sir. My sister’s out. Can I sign for them?”

  A look of confusion settled on his wrinkled features. “Oh… erm… these are for you, I think, young man. Are you… are you Cameron?”

  For a split second in my sleep-fogged mind, I almost said no dude, my name’s Cain. “Oh… um, yeah… yeah, that’s me.”

  “Well, here you go, sonny.” He handed me the small hand-tied bunch of roses, and I inhaled the sweet scent of them as I took them from him. I was immediately transported into Kelly’s arms, and I had to shake my head to dislodge the disconcerting image in my mind.

  The old guy brandished something at me. “Oh, and this goes with them.” He handed me a CD. I furrowed my brow and took it from him. The envelope was blank.

  “Thank you. Do you happen to know who sent them?”

  The old guy shrugged and turned away without speaking, leaving me to wonder who the hell had sent a bearded ex-biker flowers. The one person who came to mind was Kelly, but I didn’t want to be right, because what could they mean but goodbye?

  I inhaled the intoxicating scent again before placing the flowers on the coffee table, and I pulled the CD out of the sleeve. A piece of paper dropped to the floor and I bent to g
rab it.

  Hi.

  I know we don’t know each other, but it appears that this song means something to you that I could never understand. It turns out that what’s right in theory isn’t always right in practise.

  Just listen, okay?

  And whatever you do… don’t let her go.

  * * *

  The note wasn’t signed. Curiosity got the better of me, so I switched on my stereo, opened the CD, drawer and placed the disc in the tray.

  I hesitated, hit play, and waited.

  As the opening bars of the song began, a shiver travelled down my spine and I slumped onto the chair beside me. The song took me back to my plane journey home to Utah. The female voice of Paramore’s lead vocalist sang the message that Kelly had sent to me the day I left. That I was her only exception. It was a phrase I’d said to her earlier in the day when I had left her house. It was a phrase that rang true in so many fucking ways when it came to Kelly that it hurt so bad to listen.

  After the life she’d had growing up, she was still willing to give me a chance. Me. Someone who represented everything that was wrong in a man. And I had blown it by going back to America and not contacting her at all. It was what she’d asked me to do, but why the hell hadn’t I fought harder for her?

  I would have married her. No one else had made me feel that way. She was my only exception. But… the flowers were from someone telling me to not let her go.

  Then it hit me.

  Dermott had sent the flowers and the CD. Maybe he wasn’t quite as much of a prick as I’d thought.

  The realisation hit. She must have told him no. Fuck! Needing to see her, I ran to the front door and ripped it open, ready to run all the fucking way to her home barefoot if necessary. But what I found on my doorstep almost jolted my heart to a stop. There before me stood a beautiful, auburn-haired, green-eyed woman.