Down & Dirty: Axel (Dirty Angels MC Book 5)

by Jeanne St. James

  Hell no, it wouldn’t.

  “You’re in my house here,” Z grumbled, his fingers twitching at his side.

  “And I’ve got my brothers at my back right now, too,” Axel reminded him. There were plenty of cops still in the parking lot and inside The Iron Horse. “So think about that.”

  “Need your pig buddies to get your back?”

  “Nope. You want to go at it?” Axel raised his arms out. “Bring it.”

  Z spat at Axel’s feet. “You’ll have me arrested.”

  “No. Want to take a shot? Do it. It’s been a long time coming. They all know you’re my brother. I won’t press charges.” Axel raised his arms out again, wagging his fingers, encouraging Z. “C’mon, brother, take your best shot.”

  Axel ducked as Zak took a swing. He felt the rush of air as Z’s fist just missed him. He straightened, and Zak caught him under the chin with an uppercut. Axel grunted at the impact.

  Widening his stance, Axel lifted his fists in a defensive position to match Z’s. Then he took his shot, nailing Z in the chin and when his brother’s head flew back, Axel came in with his left fist and punched him in the gut.

  Z stumbled back another step with a grunt and then recovered, bringing his body up to full height, his fists ready to strike.

  They rounded each other, breathing heavily, eyes and feet active, watching for the slightest movement. Zak swung again, this fist making contact with the side of Axel’s eye.

  Fuck. That hurt! Not as much when D hit that eye, but even so...

  Axel reacted with a quick one-two punch. The first one directly in the gut, the second one glancing off Z’s cheekbone.

  “What the fuck!”

  The scream came from a distance, but Axel kept his attention on his brother as they kept rounding each other, waiting to deflect the next strike or jump on an open opportunity to land one of their own.

  “Stop it!”

  “Will you separate them?”

  “Zak!”

  “Axel, stop it!”

  Axel took another punch, but Z dodged it. Z got another uppercut in and got Axel in the stomach. All the air rushed out of him and he gasped for breath.

  “Separate them, goddamnit!” It finally sunk in that it was Sophie’s voice. “I’m pregnant! Don’t make me do it myself!”

  Those words made Zak turn his head slightly toward his wife and Axel took advantage by doing a leg sweep and taking Z down to the ground. Zak landed on his back with an oof.

  Breathing hard, Axel wiped the blood off his mouth with the back of his hand and backed up.

  He stared down at his brother, who was struggling for breath, whose nose was bleeding, his eye swelling, and his knuckles busted.

  Axel lifted his right hand. His were busted, too. And he could already feel his eye bleeding and swelling, as well.

  Fuck.

  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

  He looked over his shoulder and saw a line of cops just standing there watching them, amused. He turned back and saw a line of Angels watching, as well. Though they didn’t look so amused.

  Not one person interfered besides Sophie.

  And next to Zak’s ol’ lady stood Bella, her arms crossed over her chest as she took in the two of them.

  With a sigh, Axel stepped up to his brother and offered his hand. Zak clasped it without hesitation and Axel helped pull him to his feet.

  “Brother,” Axel said.

  “Brother,” Zak answered. He swiped at his bleeding nose, then laughed. “Fuck that felt good.”

  “Damn right,” Axel said with a smirk.

  “So glad you thought that ‘felt good,’” Sophie shouted at Zak. “What the hell?”

  Z grinned at his wife then threw an arm around her shoulders. “Let’s go, woman. You need to clean me up.”

  “The hell I do. What the hell’s wrong with you two?”

  Z swung her around and they headed around back to the private side of the building.

  The onlookers began to disperse. Angels whacking Z on the back as he passed, the cops going back to their cars or heading back inside the bar to finish their investigation, shaking their heads and chuckling.

  Bella remained with her hands now planted on her hips, staring at Axel. “What the hell was that about?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Wasn’t nothing.”

  “You’re right. It was something.”

  She tilted her head as she studied him. “A breakthrough, maybe?”

  Axel shrugged. “Maybe.” He wiped at his lip again and stared at the blood smeared on the back of his hand. Then he glanced up and let his gaze roam over the front of The Iron Horse. Hundreds of rounds had been aimed at the bar which was full of people enjoying a Christmas party.

  This was life in an MC.

  This was reality.

  He couldn’t imagine the long-term beef between the two clubs would ever come to an end. Even if the DAMC wanted it to. The skirmishes weren’t petty crimes or minor clashes, like a simple fist-fight. No. These were life-taking, life-altering circumstances.

  Jazz would never be the same again after falling into the Warriors’ hands.

  Then there was Kiki and Jewel. As well as Diesel getting shot.

  And everyone who died before them.

  This ongoing rival between the two clubs had resulted in actual deaths.

  How could he go off every day to work as a police officer and not worry that his woman could be kidnapped, raped, shot at, or even murdered because of who she was or who she considered her family?

  He would worry about her every minute of every day.

  He grabbed Bella’s bicep, and she flinched. He almost released her immediately, but he wasn't going to hurt her, and she had to understand that. He just needed to show her reality. The truth of the situation.

  He pulled her along with him as he took long strides to the front of the bar. He lifted the yellow police tape and pulled her inside. A few of the remaining cops looked up, saw who it was, and put their heads back down to finish their reports.

  He dragged Bella to the middle of the bar to the exact spot where she had been dancing not even a couple of hours before.

  He pointed to the debris on the floor. “Look.” He pointed to the bullet holes in the walls, the overturned tables, and the pool tables. “See that?” He pointed to the blood on the floor near the band’s stage. “And that?” Then he turned her to face him. “Is this how you want to live?”

  She didn’t answer.

  He shook her. “In constant fear of being shot or kidnapped? Or worse?” He let her arm go and scrubbed a hand over his hair. “Fuck!”

  “Nobody wants to live like this!” she shouted back at him. “We’re still paying for shit that happened decades ago.”

  “This is exactly why my father pulled us away from the club, Bella. Can you blame him?”

  “No.”

  “It’s this shit... This shit...” He shook his head and pointed pleading eyes at her. “Bella, I can’t lose you. I can’t.”

  “You’re not going to lose me, Axel.”

  “How do we know they won’t take pot shots at you in the parking lot out back? Or at the bakery? Or, hell, even at your house?”

  “We don’t. But I’m not going to live in constant fear that they’re going to do something to me. I’m not going to let them win like that.” She flattened her palm on his stomach, then curled her fingers into his shirt. “You go every day to a job that’s dangerous. Every day you could be injured or killed. Did you ever consider that?”

  “That’s different.”

  “No, it’s not. Axel, I don’t want to lose you, either. But I would never ask you to give up your job, your career. I know the risks. None of us want or encourage what the Warriors bring on us. They keep this alive, not us. Zak and the others are doing what they can to keep this club legit. Warriors keep trying to bring us down. We can’t just sit back and do nothing. Can’t allow them to destroy this club, to destroy us as a family. We can’t.
” She looked directly into his eyes. “We won’t,” she finished with a determined tone.

  For fuck’s sake, he loved this woman, but it scared the shit out of him that something could happen to her at the hands of that outlaw club. Just by being a part of DAMC, she became their target.

  “I see your mind spinning. And I’ll tell you right now, I’m not going to leave this club, Axel. Not even for you.”

  Axel closed his eyes and drew a long, slow breath through his nostrils. He needed to calm his fears. He needed to look at the two of them together with clarity.

  He needed to do what was best for not only Bella, but for himself.

  The club might be her priority, but it wasn’t his.

  His career might be his priority, but it wasn’t hers.

  However, they needed to make themselves priority to each other.

  No matter what.

  And he didn’t know how they could do that. Not with how things stood.

  “I’m taking you home,” he said finally.

  “I have my car here.”

  “I don’t care. On the way, we’ll stop by your place to make sure everything is okay there, then you’re coming home with me.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  “After tonight, I guess Christmas dinner with your family is no longer on the table,” Bella said, as she watched Axel pace in his kitchen.

  After checking her house to make sure everything was okay there, they headed back to his apartment. And after grabbing a beer from the fridge and downing it without coming up for air, Axel had started the restless pacing.

  She could only imagine that he had a million things running through his mind.

  Tonight was once again a wake-up call that the Warriors weren’t going to stop with their strikes on the DAMC. The occurrences were getting closer and closer together.

  And that wasn’t reassuring at all.

  She tried to look at the situation through Axel’s eyes. Not only as a cop, but also as an outsider. Though, he could never truly be an outsider. Not with his grandfather being one of the founders, not with his brother, his future nieces and nephews, and his cousins as part of the club.

  He’d never be truly free of his connection, unless he moved away and turned his back on them all.

  He would never do that because he wasn’t that type of man.

  “No,” he finally answered.

  “Should we try again next Christmas?” she asked, trying to put a humorous spin on it. Though, she was sure he didn’t find it funny.

  “Right,” he answered then stopped abruptly in front of her, where she leaned back against the kitchen counter.

  “That shit didn’t scare you, Bella?”

  “You know it did.”

  “Let me tell you, that scared the fuck out of me. Not the being shot at part. I knew that was possible when I took the job. But the part where people I knew and loved could’ve been taken out like that by a bunch of crazy-ass, irrational motherfuckers. My parents could have lost all three of their children tonight.”

  “I’m sure underneath all of Mitch’s anger was fear, too. He probably realized his family could have been wiped out...” She reached out and ran a finger down his arm. “I’m sorry.”

  Axel blinked at her. “For what? None of this was your fault.”

  “For dragging you into the club mess. We both know this isn’t going to work, Axel. We know it deep down inside, no matter how much we want it to. Neither one of us is willing to give up what makes both of us who we are.”

  He grabbed both of her wrists and wrapped her arms around his waist. He leaned into her, cupping her cheeks with both hands. He pressed his forehead to hers and inhaled deeply. “I don’t know the answer, Bella. I wish I did. And I’m sorry that I don’t.”

  Bella closed her eyes and also sucked in a breath, inhaling his scent. She wrapped her arms around him tighter and she was helpless to stop a tear that slid out of the corner of her eye. She had no desire to wipe it away, to hide it.

  Because if there was a reason to cry, this was it. The thought that she had a man who loved her but they just couldn’t find a way to make things work killed her. She couldn’t see the conflict and turmoil of both the club and between their families ending any time soon.

  Her heart squeezed, and her chest became tight at the thought of not having Axel in her life.

  “I love you, baby,” he murmured.

  “I know.”

  “I wish there was a way.”

  “I know,” she repeated, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

  “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Yes, you do,” she said softly.

  He didn’t say anything for the longest time. They held each other close and neither wanted to be the first one to let go.

  “I can’t do this,” Axel said.

  “I know,” she whispered, her heart cracking painfully into two pieces.

  This was the second time she tried to love someone.

  And the second time she failed.

  He pushed away from her. “No, I mean I refuse to let you go. You’re mine, Bella. Fuck everyone else. Fuck everyone. Just fuck everyone!”

  “Axel—”

  “No, we deserve to be happy. You deserve to be happy. I want the rest of my life to be about making you happy. I want you to never doubt you’re loved. I will tell you every day when I wake up that I love you. I will tell you every night. No one’s going to take that away from us. No one.”

  “Axel—” she tried again.

  “No, baby. We’re going to make this work. Everyone else is just going to have to get over it. We belong together.”

  She reached out and snagged one of his flailing hands. She intertwined her fingers with his and raised it to her lips, brushing a kiss over the knuckles he split having a fight with his own brother. His own blood.

  “I don't want you regretting your decision. I don't want you to wake up one day and realize you wanted kids and be bitter. I don’t want you to blame me for a split with your father. I don’t want to cause problems with your job. I don’t want to be the reason to ever make you unhappy. I’m afraid you’ll never forgive me.”

  “Every couple has problems, Bella. Every single one. We won’t be any different. We’re going to have some hills to climb, yes. But fuck it... I’m dragging you to the top. We’re going to do this.”

  Bella wished she could be as enthusiastic about it as he was. It felt as if tonight was one step forward when Axel actually showed up to the party, then two steps back when the Warriors reared their ugly heads. Then there was that bit of a shift when Axel and Z got into a fist-fight, though it seemed as if that was what they needed to move past their... past.

  Bella had no idea where that relationship would head. But with Mitch still not accepting his oldest son’s life choices, then the struggle to bring the family back together would still be an issue.

  One that she and Sophie—and maybe the new baby—could help with.

  “I’m getting rid of this apartment. I’m moving my big bed into your house until we find something more permanent.”

  “Axel, you need to be completely sure of this.”

  “Baby, I’m sure. I’ve never been so sure about something in my whole life.”

  She shook her head. “You’re crazy.”

  He nodded, grabbed her face in his hands and planted a big, wet kiss on her lips. “Yep. You’re damn right I am. Crazy in love with you. And you’re just as crazy for being in love with me.”

  “I just want you for your body,” she said in a serious tone.

  Axel grinned. “You’ve got that.”

  Bella fought back her laughter. “Can I have it right now?”

  “You can have it whenever you want. It’s yours.”

  “Hmm. I like the sound of that. But Axel, are you sure?” The feeling that he was going to regret this decision still niggled at her.

  His blue eyes twinkled. “Yep. I’m sure we’re going to go fuck.”

 
; “No, about all of this...”

  “We’re going to go fuck, then everything else we’ll take it as it comes. We’ll deal with it.”

  She arched an eyebrow at him. “Did you drink some Red Bull or something?”

  “Nope. Just excited about our future.”

  “Our future,” she repeated softly.

  “That sounds good on your lips, baby,” he murmured, then kissed her again.

  As soon as he broke it, he grabbed her hand and dragged her toward his bedroom.

  He stopped in the middle of the room and faced her. He tugged his long-sleeve Henley over his head and threw it to the side.

  “Now you.”

  Bella grabbed the bottom of her loose top and yanked it over her head. She threw it in the direction of his Henley.

  “Bra, too,” he said with a crooked smile.

  As she reached to unclip it in the back, she thought how funny it was that she was no longer self-conscious of her body, of her scars, of how her body had changed after that fateful night. She was now completely comfortable with Axel seeing her as she was.

  He accepted her, scars and all.

  She let the bra fall off her shoulders and then threw that, too.

  She bit her bottom lip as his gaze swept over her. Her nipples pebbled hard when he licked his lips.

  Oh yes, that mouth was going to be busy soon.

  Without taking his eyes from her, he unsnapped and unzipped his jeans. She did the same, mirroring his actions. Then they both kicked off their shoes, and yanked off their socks, throwing them with disregard.

  When they both straightened up, their hands went to their waistbands. As if coordinated, they pushed down their jeans, taking their underwear with them. Axel’s steely length bobbed when his boxer briefs released his cock. Bella’s pussy clenched in anticipation as she shoved her panties down her legs.

  They stepped out of their pants and underwear, then moved closer to each other. But they didn’t touch.

  They were close enough to feel one another’s heat, to feel the sweep of the other’s warm breath along their skin.

  “Are you going to get the cuffs?” she asked.

  His Adam’s apple bobbed. “No. Tonight, I want this to be a meeting of the minds, a meeting of our souls. A coming together of the two of us.”