The firmness of his kiss made her remember why she fell in love with him. He had a gentle command of the world around him…of her. Leaving her lips, she wanted to protest until he trailed his kisses down her jaw and to her neck. She shivered in his arms as her legs spread and he fell between them. A hardness pressed against her center and his hands tugged at the bottom of her shirt before pulling it over her head. His mouth returned to hers and she fell against the wall before he broke the kiss.
Dark eyes swirled with a desire she yearned for daily. As she took in the look, she flashed to all the moments before they were together. Those eyes had always been that way. The level of intensity was the only difference between this time and any other day of the week.
“Oh, my God,” Kristy said and they heard a door swoosh. “I’m sorry,” she called from the other side of the door. “I’ll go.”
“Kristy come back here,” Merryn called out as she tried to catch her breath and rested her head on Austin’s chest. He stroked up the side of her bare torso and she scrambled for her shirt. “Forgot about that.”
“I’m good,” she said with a nervous laugh.
“I was just leaving,” Austin said then kissed Merryn forehead.
“If that’s the way you say goodbye, no wonder you’re always here,” Kristy replied from the other side of the door.
“I’ll call Gretchen to help you set up,” Austin offered as he helped Merryn redress and helped her down by lifting her at the waist.
“Thanks.”
Austin walked back and leaned against the deep freeze. Sighing, he adjusted then winked at Merryn. “I’ll have my phone on all day, if you need anything.”
* * * *
The funeral home couldn’t hold more than a hundred people. Even with people taking turns, there was no way they could deal with the people coming from out of town. Austin knew his mother had been a beloved teacher. She’d won teacher of the year consistently enough they’d discussed calling the award the Harriet Larsen Award of Teaching Excellence after she retired. She told them to take a flying leap the best way she could, after her first stroke.
With the only solution, being using the gym at the high school, at first Austin was appalled when Clarence had suggested it. Then Merryn sat him down and stroked his hand. His mother had lived for that school. If she wouldn’t have had a stroke she would have worked there until she was ninety. She attended conferences to improve her skills when other teachers sat back on their skills. The science teacher that loved keeping up with the changes in technology and experimentation.
Laurie said she’d learned so much because they kept the science journal subscriptions after the stroke. The nurses would each read an article or two every shift as part of her treatment. They marked the ones they read, so when Austin came by he could read her one once in a while. He’d never taken to science, but he appreciated how much his mother loved it and made the effort to learn.
Austin stood closest to the casket, as people would come by and give their condolences, first to Brad, then Gretchen and finally him. The memories were shared by the three, as people wanted to tell them all at once. After two hours, Austin stepped away, the last of his siblings to do so.
“I saved you a plate,” Merryn said as she came to sit by him in the folding chairs that were put out for the funeral the next day. She’d been busying herself with the food the whole evening. Giving him a nod every once in a while when he had a break in the line.
“Thanks,” he said not even looking down before putting the food in his mouth. Nothing registered as he’d become numb to the whole situation. People came and people went. There was only another hour left in the viewing and he could go home and crash. “I’m ready to drop.”
“Are you staying with me or at the farm?” Merryn asked.
“Daddy,” Trinity called and Austin woke up enough to turn and see her with Rae standing behind her in a black sheath dress. Her blonde hair had been cut short. When he picked up Trinity, he rarely saw Rae.
Now, she stood with a fresh face and her trim body that hadn’t changed since high school.
Absently, he passed the paper plate of food to Merryn as he stood and pulled Trinity into his arms.
“I’m sorry about grandma, Dad,” she said.
The tears he’d had to hold back rolled. This whole time he had been the tough guy, the one keeping the family together and planning a memorial service fitting for his mother. Now, with his daughter in his arms he had the freedom to let himself go. “Thank you so much for coming,” he coughed out.
Rae placed her hand on his forearm. “Of course,” she said. “I’m sorry about before on the phone.”
Austin let go of Trinity, but still kept his arm around her waist.
“Your mother loved me so much, I shouldn’t have had such a quick knee jerk reaction.”
“I think that’s why you two got along so well,” Austin said as he took in his ex’s crystal blue eyes. There was something missing there that he was used to seeing in Merryn’s…he couldn’t place it.
“Can we talk?” Rae asked as she clutched her purse tight.
“Trinity, why don’t you go say hi to your aunt and uncle,” Merryn offered to give them space.
He knew Rae’s tones all too well, although laced with sugar and concern her question was anything but sweet remembrance of his mother that she needed to share. Easier to cut her off at the pass then subject Merryn to the temper tantrum Rae could unleash. Mean Girls was more than a movie to her, maybe one of those play by play instruction manuals of how to not let the lesser girl get the better of you.
Austin and Rae wandered out of the gym and up toward the offices. The school was open and walking the halls with Rae was a throwback to old times. They both felt it every time they’d come here together. A few times, they relived their high school experiences, but each time, at least for him, it was a reminder of what they couldn’t capture anymore. Today was no different. Her hand bumped against his, she’d never take his hand. Instead, she’d bump as an indication she was near him. This time, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and he caught the vision of her jaw tightening in his peripheral vision.
Outside of library was a small table and Rae hopped up on it. Her legs were crossed at the ankles and she put her purse down. “I’ve been thinking,” she began.
“Always a dangerous proposition.” He leaned on the wall across from the table with his hands still tucked away safely.
“Your mom is gone now…” She held up her hand to wave him off from thinking she was going somewhere inappropriate. “You don’t have anything holding you here now.”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“You hate that farm. It’s been a punishment since you took it over. I’m sure it wouldn’t take long to sell it.”
“I am selling it.”
“You are?” Her face lit up.
“At some point, I’m not rushing it, but I’ve had a few different offers and one I actually like.”
“Well, see that’s the way to look at it. You don’t have any family here…”
“I like Braden. Always have. You were the one who wanted to run away. I just didn’t want to work on the farm.”
“There are small towns still in Prairie’s school district.” Her face was a mix of suggestion and hope. “Trinity would love to have you closer to her and I don’t mind a small commute.”
“You want to me move to Cedar Rapids?”
“Not right away, but…” Her hand reached for his. “I miss you. You were right, we should have tried harder. I was just too hurt to do that.”
“Are you asking me to move in with you?” The thought tumbled through Austin’s brain like an avalanche slowly picking up speed.
“Not right away. We could date again I suppose, and we’d need to find a bigger place.”
“We…” Austin shook his head at the thought and ran his fingers through his hair before pacing a bit. Rae was his past. Looking down the hall, he could see them walking hand
in hand, her in his letter jacket and a pair of jeans pinned at the ankles. Why that fad happened he couldn’t place, then again, he rolled his jeans. At one time, they had been a we. A great we, well…an okay one. Now, they weren’t and even if Merryn wasn’t in the picture, they couldn’t change that fact. Looking at her reminded him of fights, not fun. She’d never found the thing that calmed her. With Merryn, it was cooking or baking whichever seemed the case. She could lose herself in the process and when she emerged, no longer was she lost. That’s why he let her process this morning. Unlike Rae, Merryn would tell him in her own time what was wrong, better yet, she wouldn’t punish him for not reading her mind.
If Rae had grown up, he hadn’t seen it and he wasn’t going to throw away the best woman he’d ever known for one still struggling with not having time to be a child. Finally finding her hands, he squeezed them and looked back into her empty blue eyes. At one time, they’d held promise. They reflected that there was hope for the world. Now, there was nothing inside them. She was lost as a person and he wasn’t about to spend years on a rescue mission.
He turned to back to look down the hall leading back to the gym and saw Merryn standing there.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. Clarence needed you. He’s going to be closing the coffin and wanted to offer the family a chance for a final goodbye.”
“I’ll be right there. Ask him to give me a minute.”
Merryn nodded before heading back down to the gym. He noticed her eyes were focused on his hands still being held by Rae.
“You should go. We’ll talk more about when you think you can finish all your business here. I spoke to Gretchen and she said Trin and I could stay at your mother’s. It is spring break for Trin, so I had already taken a few days off. We were going to buzz over to Chicago, but this is more important.”
Chapter Ten
“Well, is he coming?” Brad snapped as if the whole process was feudal and a burden. It didn’t gain him anything, of course it was feudal.
Merryn felt ashamed for even a second that she’d considered taking him up on his offer for dinner. His time was the only one to be considered. She’d forgotten that part of the relationship with Erik. It’s easy to gloss over the small incidents that seemed to happen once in a while. Looking at Brad, it was hard to push those memories to the back of her mind. “What?”
“Yes, he’s coming. Rae needed him for something.”
A smirk crossed Brad’s lips and Merryn held back from smacking him. She knew what he was smirking for and hated that she was having similar thoughts.
“You picked the wrong brother, baker lady.”
“I don’t think so.”
“I’ve never been in love…” Brad leaned in close and the hair on the back of Merryn’s neck rose. “Austin on the other hand, has loved only one woman.”
“Rae wasn’t a woman when he fell in love.”
“First love.” Brad sighed and moved back a little
The distance gave Merryn the much needed space to let her skin calm down.
“It’s a powerful draw. I forgot to ask, do you have a first love?”
“Yes, and like Rae, I had been a girl when I fell in love, not the same.”
“Tell yourself that.”
Trinity came up to them and rocked nervously. “I don’t think I want to see her in the coffin,” she confessed.
“Then you don’t have to,” Merryn said and placed her hand on Trinity’s shoulder. “Your dad will understand.”
“I hope so, with him selling the farm and all, I just don’t want to upset him more.”
“Your father isn’t selling the farm.” Merryn’s face scrunched in confusion.
“Yes, he is. My mom told me.”
“Rae knew and you didn’t…” Brad chuckled.
Merryn fought back smacking him upside his head like the insolent teenager he was acting like.
“Fight it all you want, true love and all.”
“Oh, Merryn,” Trinity said. “I was wondering if you could help me with something.”
“I’ll try.”
“I was asked to prom by a junior and my mom is saying I can go, but I have a feeling my dad might be another story.”
“Oh, that’s a big favor.”
“I know. But really, if my mom is okay with it I’m sure I’ll be going, it’s just…” Trinity tangled her fingers and flipped her hands around a few times. “I want a kick ass prom dress, but my mom’s just going to take me to the mall. No offense, but a dress anyone could buy…well, I know it’s a bit stuck up, but this one girl is being a total…” Trinity looked around and saw her dad standing in the doorway. “Female dog if you get my drift.”
“Caught it like a cold, continue.” Merryn had a pretty good idea what she wanted and being almost four years removed from Hollywood, she’d really need to tap her sister on this one.
“My dad might have said you had some amazing dresses tucked away.”
“They are hard to part with,” Merryn confessed. “But even my smallest dress wouldn’t fit you without some tailoring.”
Trinity took on her father’s height and even as a freshman was at least three inches taller than her. With heels, the dress would need a half yard of fabric at least. And then, there was the fact she had a trim willowy body type. Yeah, not exactly the same body type by far.
“If you don’t want—”
“Trin it’s not that, if you want to look at them to give me a style type then I can make a call to my sister and try to get you one that will fit you.”
Her eyes lit up and she gave Merryn a tight squeeze. “Thank you so much.”
“Not a problem,” Merryn said as she held back tears imagining her own daughter in the girl holding onto her now.
“Mom and I are staying with Aunt Gretchen at grandma’s for a few days. I’ll come by after all the funeral stuff is over.”
“You two look happy,” Austin said as he approached.
“Merryn’s going to help me get a dress for the prom.”
“Is she now,” Austin said with a slight scolding tone. “I don’t remember saying you could go.”
“I did,” Rae said as she approached the group. “And she lives with me. You want to stop her going to the prom, you know what to do.”
Austin pursed his lips and returned to the coffin. The gym had emptied out as the viewing was coming to a close. Merryn watched as his normally broad shoulders hunched as he rested his hands on the edge of the coffin.
Gretchen stood with Nash’s arm around her and Clarence giving his condolences.
“Well, you guys should head over,” Merryn said as she readied herself to clean up the last of the food.
“Aren’t you coming?” Trinity asked.
“Trinity, she’s the caterer,” Rae sneered as if Merryn were somehow a lower class of human.
“No, she’s dad’s girlfriend.” Rae’s face reddened and Trinity turned from her mom to Merryn. “I mean you’re kinda family. As much as Nash is and he’s here.”
Merryn bit at her bottom lip and tried to keep in the tears she didn’t know she possessed any more. Had Trinity really just called her family? Austin said Trin never questioned why her parents weren’t together any more. Maybe it was her way of dealing with the loss of her big sister, but as long as she thought her parents were happy she was content. The glare from Rae couldn’t be avoided though. Not without tossing acid in Merryn’s face so she was completely blind…even that might not be enough. The air around them shifted. She wasn’t welcome. As much as her heart ached as she saw the ever steady Austin’s shoulders give way at the sight of his mother at rest Rae and he had their own relationship and he’d come to her if he needed her.
“I think he’s there for Gretchen and your dad has you,” Merryn offered not wanting to start more trouble.
“And me,” Rae said with a challenging tone. “I did live with Harriet for many years. She was like my second mother. Being her daughter-in-law and all.”
&nb
sp; “Exactly.” Merryn put on her best diplomatic smile. “This really is for those who were raised by your grandmother and I only knew her for a few months.” Austin never turned to beckon her and Merryn would respect his wishes. If he needed or wanted her with him right now, he would call for her, but he needed his space and she was going to give it to him. She had to clean this all up and prepare for tomorrow anyway.
As if her day couldn’t get more uneven, Buddy had to walk in, beyond late for viewing, then again he was Austin’s cousin. He saw the group gathered and approached. “Did I miss it?” he asked tugging on his tie with a knot Merryn thought it was an attempt at a Windsor. Not exactly, the standard with a button down and clean jeans.
Austin must have heard the clump of his boots and returned to the group, giving a Buddy a bear hug in the processes.
“We’re just getting ready to say our final goodbyes,” Rae had a lilt to her voice. “Family only, so you’re right on time.”
“Good, things got a bit crazy if Jenny wouldn’t have shoved me out the door, I’d still be stuck at the bar.” Buddy looked at Merryn and then to the floor. “I won’t fight you over the pizzas.”
“Okay,” Merryn said a bit off guard since this wasn’t exactly the place she expected to have the conversation.
“You’re only serving during lunch right?”
“And Friday night when the races are going during the summer.”
“You didn’t tell me that,” Buddy snapped at Austin. “No one eats pizza for lunch, but race night.”
The whine in his voice had Austin running his hand over his face. “I’m going to say goodbye to my mother. Buddy, how about you not do this right now?”
“I love Aunty Harriet.”
“I meant don’t talk business.”
“Oh…yeah, that makes sense.”
Austin left first with Trinity at his side.
Buddy turned to Merryn. “This isn’t over.”
Triple B. Baking Co. Page 13