Silence

by Jaye Cox

  “I want to leave,” I say, sitting up and looking around, the room is empty and I’m still dressed in my clothes. As it dawns on me where I am, I rush from the room; I need to see Beau. My heart sinks and I feel the blood drain from my face, my son could be…I don’t even want to think it. Where is everyone? I navigate my way around and can hear people talking as I enter what looks to be a waiting room. That's when I see my family and Mickki and the other guys from Black Diamond in the corner, but no Eddie. My sister is the first to see me rushing towards her.

  “Where’s Beau? Please tell me he’s okay?” Dane stands along with his wife.

  “He’s in surgery and the doctors won’t tell us anything else. Brad’s trying to find out for me now.”

  “Great, that piece of crap is acting like a damn hero.” I’ve never kept my hatred for that man a secret, but right now I need someone to take my anger out on and he’s a perfect target.

  “He isn’t that bad,” Dane says, standing up for his friend. “He’s been a good friend to me over the years, especially when...”

  “Especially when what? When I was a junkie, got my brother killed, or when I tried to kill myself? Have you ever asked yourself if he was acting out of guilt?”

  “Guilt?” he questions.

  “Never mind, I’m sorry, I’m just scared.” He puts his hand on my shoulder as an offer of comfort, and I turn to see Eddie standing in the doorway.

  “I went back to your room and you were gone, you scared the shit out of me,” he says, taking a few strides towards me and pulling me into his arms. Instantly, I melt into his body and cry.

  “It’s going to be okay,” he soothes, stroking my hair.

  “It has to be Eddie, it has to be.”

  “I know, I found a doctor and he said Beau is almost out of surgery. His doctor will be in as soon as he’s finished.”

  “Thank you,” I whisper into his chest. The room fades away as I listen to the beating from his chest. It’s just me and him standing here, he doesn’t let go, he just stands there gently stroking my hair and telling me everything will be okay. My baby’s in there somewhere, alone, I can’t accept that everything will be okay. I don’t know how long we’ve been standing here, but Eddie whispers in my ear. “The doctor’s here.” I don’t want to look at him and see that look, the one that is trying to work out how he will tell a complete stranger their loved one didn’t make it. I’m not strong enough.

  “Mr and Mrs Hart?”

  “Over here,” Dane says and I can’t find the strength to say I’m his mum, me.

  “This is his mum,” Eddie says.

  I wait for the doctor to speak, for a dip in his tone, any giveaway of what he’s about to say.

  “Beau is out of surgery and in recovery now. He’s one lucky young man and should be fine. If I could speak to his parents alone when he goes back to his room please, the nurse will let you know when he’ll be taken back.”

  “Thanks Doc,” Eddie says. He moves his arms from around me and I look up at him as he takes my face in his hands, I can’t control the tears as I look into his eyes.

  “Are you okay?” he says, wiping my tears with his thumbs. I nod my head before slowly leaning in, forgetting where we are and who is watching. I wasn’t sure he was worth fighting all my demons for, but here he stands, showing me the pure and selfless man he can be, and for me that’s worth fighting for. We might be in for a fight, but I’m ready to give it everything I have. As my lips touch his, he knows this is me giving my heart to him, showing him all my fears. His hands move to my hair, he slowly pulls away and rests his head against mine. “If I don’t stop I may have to take you into one of those rooms.” He makes me smile by saying something that’s so Eddie, but instead of the sound of his voice filling me with doubt, it all melts away and no longer seems to matter.

  Mickki walks over to us and gives me an awkward smile. “Thanks for coming,” I say.

  “Nowhere else we’d rather be. We might not know Beau, but we know you, and any girl that can make my brother pussy-whipped like this is family to me.”

  “I’m not pussy-whipped,” Eddie responds, pushing his brother playfully.

  “We’re going to head out. The boys want to check in with their wives, and I’m going to bleach the sex from my body and replenish the booze.”

  “Okay, have fun with that,” I laugh. He and Eddie are so much alike, yet so different. It’s nice to see him around his brother, and Mickki idolises Eddie. I’m not sure he even knows, but it’s so obvious to see the love between them. It makes me think about how good Beau would be as a big brother. Shit Callie, two minutes in a man’s arms and your biological clock starts going crazy.

  “What?” Eddie asks.

  “Nothing,” I say, wondering if he can hear my thoughts.

  “You just had this crazy look on your face,” he says, still looking at me.

  “I was just thinking about Beau and how, if I wasn’t such a crap mum, I could have given him a brother who idolises him the way Mickki does you.”

  “You are not a crap mum and Beau knows that,” he says.

  “Does he? I mean, he disappeared today and I thought he wanted to hurt himself?”

  “He called me,” he says randomly.

  “Who called you?” I ask.

  “Beau. Earlier, after you hung up on me. I tried to call you back and when your phone was still engaged…”

  “You flew back here to tell me.”

  “I was scared, he wanted me to promise to look after you and I thought maybe…I don’t know what I thought, except that I needed to get here and be with you.”

  “You’re something else, you know that, right?” I say.

  “I know, I’ve been telling people that since I was a kid, but no one would agree with me.”

  “You’re so sure of yourself,” I joke.

  “Someone has to be. Let’s make sure your pregnant sister who scares me doesn’t need something to eat, pregnant people eat lots.” I smile at him and wonder where this man has been the whole time since we met. Was I too judgemental to see him? Did I just have some notion of how much I should hate him?

  A nurse comes in and says Dane and I can go in now. When I ask if Dane’s wife could come too, since she’s his mum also, she takes my hand and gives it a light squeeze. As hard as it is for me to admit, she is his mum; she was there for him when I wasn’t.

  “How’s he going?” Dane asks the doctor as he walks in the room.

  “He’s doing well. He had a severed femoral artery and a fractured lower extremity. He was very lucky this happened so close to the hospital; if it had taken any longer to get here, it may have been too late. I walk away from Dane and the doctor as Brad walks into the room. Beau’s doing good and that is all I care about, I’ll get Dane to fill me in on all the details later.

  “I’m here baby,” I say to Beau as he starts coming to.

  “I’m sorry,” he tries to say, his voice sounding dry and raspy.

  “Nothing to be sorry for, you’re here now and you’re safe, that’s all that matters.”

  “I love you,” he says, and I ignore the feeling in my gut that screams he’s only saying this because he has one last chance to.

  November 3rd 2009

  “Are you sure you’ll be okay?” my sister asks for the hundredth time.

  “I’ll be fine. I’ll watch TV and chill.”

  I spend another ten minutes reassuring her that I am, in fact, an adult and can look after myself for a few hours.

  “I love you, Cal,” she says and the look in her eyes breaks my heart. I can’t stay here and watch her worry about me. There’s only one place I can go and make all the worries disappear, I only know one lifestyle that can make me forget.

  “I love you, too,” I say and I know it will be for the last time. I’ve dragged her down for too long, her and Beau don’t need me around. It’s for the best if I just go back into the hole I crawled out of.

  Chapter Seventeen

 
Eddie

  Seeing Callie unconscious on that hospital bed when I arrived is forever burnt into my brain, it’s like a switch turned on and an overwhelming urge to protect her and never let her be hurt like this again has swept over me. The doctor says she only passed out, but seeing your child like that would be enough to cause the strongest of people to fall. I left her room to take a leak and, of course, she’d woken up and I knew where she’d be. I never expected her to fall into my arms, but the moment she did our bodies came together as if they’d never been apart. And that kiss…I can still feel the way her lips touched mine and how I knew she was going to give me a chance to show her this is the man I can be without all the rock god bullshit.

  After lightly tapping on the door to Beau's hospital room, Callie looks my way and smiles. “Hey, how’s he doin’ today?” I whisper, walking towards her. She hasn’t left his side since he came out of surgery yesterday and neither has his girlfriend. She’s a feisty little thing, and when the doctors told her she couldn’t stay and that only Callie could stay, she told them she wouldn’t be leaving. Callie’s Ex-husband made a call and she was allowed to stay as long as she calmed down.

  “He’s doing well; his doctor should be here soon,” she whispers, trying not to wake them both, young love is adorable. She takes my hand and walks me out of the room.

  “How are you doing? Do you want to go take a shower? I can get Damien to take you?” I ask, trying to offer her some kind of help.

  “I’m fine for now, thanks for asking, but when Beau is out of here I plan to do so many things to you,” she says, looking me right in the eyes and the words coming from her mouth make my cock pulsate.

  “Damn woman, don’t be saying things like that. I wonder how quickly I can get Beau home and in the care of a nurse.”

  “The things you’ll do for sex,” she laughs.

  “No, the things I’d do for sex with you,” I say, pulling her body into mine. I like seeing her so playful and with her guard down. “I have a meeting with Oliver and Alex.” I feel her body go tense at the mention of Alex’s name and I don’t blame her. “I can cancel if you want me here.”

  “Don’t be silly, I’ll be fine.”

  “Okay, I’ll make it quick. I’ll leave one of those bozos here and if you need anything they’ll make it happen, even if it’s just a coffee.”

  “I’m not the famous one, you need to make sure they protect this,” she says, cupping my crotch with her hand.

  “What about my pretty face?” I ask with a frown.

  “Yes, I’ll need that, too,” she says cheekily.

  “I assure you, you will,” I wink. “I’ll be back,” I say, pulling her in for a kiss. We’re interrupted by the doctor, so I move aside and Callie follows the doctor into the room. Damien and three new security guys are standing on the opposite side of the corridor.

  “You,” I say, pointing to the ugliest one, I can’t have the hot one stay with her. “You stay here and look after my woman. If she needs anything, and I mean anything, you get it for her. If she says jump, you ask how high? Am I clear?”

  “Yes sir,” he nods. Damien radios down for the driver to bring the car around. The press has made a point of trying to get the story since late last night, and Marcus ordered Damien to make sure a driver was available at all times. He’s so paranoid. The amount of press that greets us outside the hospital is overwhelming, and Damien tells them my publicist will make a statement at a later time as we make our way through them. I’m sure they were expecting it to be me here being treated for an overdose. I call Delilah and ask her if she could go buy Callie a phone and bring it to her, she’s over the moon when I tell her Callie and I are a little more than friends.

  When we finally arrive, Oliver and Alex are waiting in his office.

  “Can we make this quick, I need to get back to the hospital.” I say and I notice the way Alex is standing close to Oliver. “What’s going on here?” I say, pointing between them. Neither can answer before the famous Bastien Fontaine makes a grand entrance. “So, I take it this must be important for the big man himself to make an appearance.”

  “You, my boy, are in a world of trouble,” Mr Fontaine says, taking a seat at his son’s desk.

  “What have I done now? I thought since I’ve been sober the trouble would have stopped.”

  “Sexual harassment in the work place is no laughing matter,” he says.

  “Sexual Harassment?” Mickki says, waltzing into the room. Everyone turns to look at him. “What, you didn’t think you could have a meeting with Eddie and me not be here? I’m sure you’re all well aware that Eddie and I have been a package deal, it’s in our contract and we wouldn’t want to void that now, would we? So, back to this alleged sexual harassment,” he asks.

  “It’s a contract Eddie wants out of anyway,” Oliver snaps.

  “Children, one thing at a time. Now Eddie, Alex has to our attention your unwanted sexual advances,” Mr Fontaine says and Damien scoffs.

  “My unwanted sexual advances? That’s rich coming from the woman who came into my room, almost naked, and threw herself at me.” I look at Alex and she really is a good actress. “What’s wrong princess? One taste of my dick too much for you, and you go all crazy stalker when I turn you down.”

  “Enough. Obviously this needs to be handled the right way, and until it is Mr Diamond, you’ll still be held to your contact.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? We had a deal that if I did that charity concert, I’d be out as long as Mickki stayed,” I blast back.

  “Since it wasn’t in writing, there’s nothing you can do about it,” Oliver says with a smug look on his face, the damn fool is fucking her. “Fuck you all,” I say, pushing my chair across the room.

  “You’ll be hearing from our legal team,” Mickki states, standing.

  “Can you believe this shit?” I say to Mickki as we exit the room with Damien and Marcus following closely behind us.

  “Of course, I can believe it, I’m surprised it hasn’t happened earlier. When will you learn to keep your dick in your pants?” he hollers at me.

  “I didn’t fuck her. I could have, but I didn’t; she came on to me,” I say, defending myself.

  “And how many people will believe that?” he says.

  “I was hoping at least three people—you, Callie, and Damien.”

  “Damien?” he questions.

  “Yes, he saw her come into the room, and saw her in the bottom of the shower and walked her back to her room,” I say and he looks at Damien for confirmation.

  “Well, good. At least we have something to take to the solicitor. Let’s go.”

  Marcus and Mickki go in one car and Damien and I go in another. I can’t believe this shit is happening when all I want to do is go back to Callie. I check my phone and see a text from Delilah saying Callie has the new phone, but almost didn’t take it. Delilah always gets what she wants, and I don’t doubt she forcibly made Callie keep the phone. I program the number she’s attached into my phone and shoot off a quick message.

  Hey Beautiful woman, had a slight set back but will be back as soon as I can.

  The reply is almost instant

  Who’s this?

  What does she mean who’s this?

  How many ppl call you beautiful woman?

  None up until now…stop stressing…do what you have to do and I’ll see you later

  Xxoo

  “You’re smiling like a creeper,” Damien says.

  “Shut up. You’re the creeper watching me and not the road. Don’t you know who you’re driving around? I’m Eddie Diamond, fucking rock god.”

  “More like pain in my ass,” he says, giving me the finger. I don’t know many people who are friends with their personal security, most just treat them like servants, but Damien is a friend, pretty much the only real friend I’ve ever had.

  We pull up behind Marcus and Mickki at Mickki’s house. I don’t know why he even has this house, considering he spends most of
his time at my house. I think it’s for sentimental reasons or some other bullshit excuse. It’s a cute little six-bedroom house, like something out of a fairy tale. I follow everyone into the house and we take a seat in the dining room where the team of lawyers are already sitting and looking at me; I swear they’re all thinking, ‘what has he done this time?’

  “It’s okay boys, I didn’t torment any taxi drivers this time,” I say in amusement. One cracks a smile and I decide he’s the one I will be dealing with, at least he has a sense of humour. “You,” I say pointing to him. “You’ll be leading this case, the rest of you can leave.”

  “But he’s only an associate,” stutters Brindley, who looks like he has a stick shoved up his ass.

  “I suppose you’re a partner then?” I throw back, knowing damn well who he is.

  “I’m…I’m more qualified to handle yo…your case,” he says.

  “I’m sure this young guy…” I say, looking in his direction and prompting him to tell me his name.

  “Derek,” he replies.

  “I’m sure Derek will do just fine. I’m sure I could call and complain that my needs aren’t being met.”

  “If that’s what you want, but I can’t guarantee you a win if you use an associate.”

  “I’m sure, with the amount of money we will be paying you, Paul, that you could look over the case at a later time and help Derek,” Mickki says. “I’m sure you’re aware of how my brother works and that once he has his mind set on something you won’t change it. I’m also sure we could get your daughter some VIP tickets to our next concert. I know she’s a die hard Black Diamond fan.

  “Sure thing, Mickki. I’ll call you when we have this sorted. It won’t be easy if we have to go up against Fontaine records, but I’m sure we can settle out of court.” Paul says, standing along with his other older colleague; leaving Derek sitting at the table.

  “I’ll walk you out,” Mickki says and they all leave the room.

  “So, do you think you’re up for a case like this?” I ask, watching the young kid; he doesn’t look like he’s been out of Uni long.