Friends With Real Benefits (Friends With Benefits Book 7)

by Luke Young

  “I get that a lot.” Harold widened his eyes. “So you’re a sex therapist?”

  “I am.”

  Harold flashed Carolyn a wicked smile. “Carolyn, I think I’m feeling some sexual dysfunction coming on.”

  Carolyn snickered and rolled her eyes. “Give me a break.”

  “There have to be tons of guys making up fake problems just so they can get an appointment. Am I right?”

  Victoria laughed. “Um, I don’t think so. At least I’m not aware of it.”

  “Is it mainly just guys who can’t get it up that seek out your services or what?”

  “I work with couples and individuals on a variety of issues. But yes, I have treated men with erectile dysfunction.”

  Harold scoffed. “I’m guessing that within ten minutes of walking into your office these guys are cured. I mean, I’m fully aroused right now.”

  “Let’s see,” Victoria joked.

  “Oh doctor, we’ve only just met,” Harold replied in an over-the-top voice. “But seriously, how do you even begin to treat a patient with a problem like that?”

  “Well first we attempt to identify the cause of the issue— whether it’s psychological or physiological. Then we go about developing an appropriate treatment plan.”

  “So, what, either you’re overweight with a cholesterol problem or you’ve got some severe mommy issues which keep you from getting wood?”

  Victoria chuckled. “In crude layman’s terms that’s a quick summary.”

  Harold’s eyes went from the hot professional’s legs to her cleavage to her face. “I go to the therapist, but he looks nothing like you.”

  “Sex therapist?”

  “No, just a regular therapist.”

  “What sort of problems do you have?” Victoria asked.

  He snorted. “Name a problem and I’ve got it.”

  “Come on.”

  “I have O.C.D. Um, I’m a miserable prick most of the time. Oh, I have a tiny penis. I’m never happy. I’m basically a complete nightmare.” Harold pointed to his chin. “I mean, just try growing up with this face.”

  Victoria laughed. “I think you are a good looking man.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “I’m serious and your penis can’t be that tiny. Didn’t I read in an interview your wife gave where she said your size was fine.”

  “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

  “You know when you look down on it, it looks smaller. So you really can’t judge your own size.”

  “I didn’t realize that.” Harold said, smiling. “You know, Carolyn, she is really good.”

  “Uh-huh…” Carolyn grumbled.

  Victoria shook her head. “Men get so caught up on size. Ninety-five percent of the penises are within a pretty small bell curve. Just be glad you’re not on the fringes there. Recently I had a client who was in the top one percent… probably top one-tenth of one percent.”

  “How big?” Harold adjusted his microphone.

  “Thirteen inches big.”

  “Holy crap,” Harold replied.

  “Oh my God,” Carolyn chimed in.

  “But it wasn’t just the length. It was also so thick that his body struggled to supply the blood necessary for him to maintain an erection.”

  “Really?”

  “And even if he could get an erection, finding a partner who wasn’t horrified to attempt sex with him was still another problem.”

  “Huh, I always thought being hung like a horse would be cool.”

  “Well, just be happy with what you have,” Victoria said. “Especially if it works and it fits where it needs to go.”

  “Oh, it fits all right.” Harold chuckled. “And it works.”

  “Wonderful. Your wife is gorgeous. She’s a lucky woman.”

  “Thank you. Tell me you don’t dress like that when you’re seeing clients?”

  Victoria glanced down to her skirt then smiled. “You like this?”

  “You look hot. The titties are all sticking out.”

  “No, I wore this just for you.” She shook her head. “I don’t think this would be appropriate for a client.”

  “I’ll say,” Jillian added.

  Harold directed his attention to the famous author and smiled. “Sorry, I almost forgot you were there.”

  “I guess I should have worn my cleavage shirt too.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with your shirt, honey. So tell me, you guys are such good friends, right?”

  “We are,” Jillian replied.

  “You guys ever get it on?” He flashed them raised eyebrows.

  “No.” Jillian shook her head and motioned to Victoria with her thumb. “She’s married too.”

  “Yes, to her husband’s brother,” Victoria added with a smile.

  “Brothers. That’s interesting.”

  “Both younger men,” Victoria said proudly.

  “Carolyn, we have two cougars right here. You need to take a page out of their book and find yourself a young stud.”

  “Maybe I will,” Carolyn replied, giggling.

  Jillian asked, “Your wife is younger than you are, isn’t she?”

  “She is,” Harold admitted.

  “So why is it that women who date younger men are called cougars, but there’s not an equivalent name for men who go after younger women?” Victoria flashed the host a smile.

  “Yeah, why is that?” Carolyn added staring with wide eyes at Harold for an answer.

  “Got me. That’s just how it works.” He chuckled. “So how much younger are your husbands?”

  Jillian answered, “thirteen years.”

  “Jim’s eighteen years younger.” Victoria replied.

  “My wife is fifteen years younger,” Harold began “It must be a challenge keeping up with the sexual demands of a much younger man.”

  “I don’t find it difficult.” Victoria shook her head. “I enjoy a challenge.”

  “I find it a little difficult,” Jillian added timidly.

  “She doesn’t let herself have fun.” Victoria motioned with her head toward her good friend.

  “That’s not true.”

  “It’s a little true.” Victoria frowned.

  “Okay, maybe a little,” Jillian admitted.

  “So how often are you doing it, like three times a week or…?”

  “Twice a day usually,” Victoria replied quickly.

  “Come on.” Harold broke into a skeptical half-laugh.

  “Okay, some days we take off to rest.” Victoria shrugged. “But more days than not we’re doing it twice a day.”

  “I think my dick would fall off if I were doing it twice a day,” Harold said.

  “What about when you were in your twenties?” Victoria gazed at him with her eyes wide, waiting.

  “Yeah, you’re right.” Harold nodded. “Back then I was probably jerking off every hour on the hour.”

  All the women in the room shared a laugh.

  “Sex is fun and its good exercise. Sure a relationship needs to be based on more than just that, but it’s certainly an important component of any marriage or serious relationship for that matter.”

  “I agree.” Harold turned to Jillian. “And you Jillian, how often are you doing it?”

  “Um, well, I…”

  “Don’t lie.” Victoria rolled her eyes.

  “Well, we have a set of twins and I write and, um, Brian, he runs a tennis club.”

  “Just give him a number,” Victoria said.

  “Well, we’re good for twice a week usually.” Jillian held her head high. “In fact, I think we’ve already done it three times since Saturday.”

  “Congratulations.” Victoria shot her a snotty look.

  “Hey.” Jillian scowled.

  “I’m kidding.” Victoria placed her hand on her friend’s arm.

  “Oh, I like the energy between you two.” Harold smiled. “You sure you’ve never gotten it on?”

  “We’re sure,” Jillian grumbled
.

  “A guy can dream can’t he?” Harold chuckled. “I’m touching myself under the console right now.”

  “Please,” Carolyn muttered, rolling her eyes.

  Harold grinned. “So is there anything sexually off limits for you two or is everything open?”

  Jillian shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

  “Now Harold, I’m not allowed to talk about certain things.” Victoria frowned.

  “Why not?”

  “My husband gave me specific instructions.”

  Harold looked pointedly at Victoria. “So that’s a yes. You’re into anal, right?”

  Victoria returned a stoic expression. “I can neither confirm nor deny that question.”

  “That’s a definite yes.” Harold nodded.

  “It sure sounds like one,” Carolyn agreed.

  “Let’s move on.” Victoria waved her hand at the host wearing a smile.

  “God, I’d love to know what you’re into.” Harold looked to Victoria shaking his head before turning his attention to the author. “What about you Jillian? Your book sure goes down that backdoor path.”

  “Don’t believe everything you read,” Jillian said.

  Victoria mouthed with a whisper, “She’s a little too uptight to enjoy that.”

  “What was that?” Harold asked

  Jillian punched her friend lightly in the shoulder. “Hey.”

  “It’s the truth,” Victoria said.

  “At least I’m not obsessed with that.” Jillian scoffed.

  “I’m not obsessed.” Victoria said defensively. “I believe I have a healthy attitude about sex.”

  “Yeah, a little too healthy.” Jillian rolled her eyes.

  “Wow, you both are something,” Harold said.

  Victoria nodded. “I just think couples can come up with too many excuses not to have sex— I’m tired. I’m bloated. I have a headache. I’m worried about this or that. If you want to have a good relationship with your partner, I think you should look for opportunities to make each other happy, not try to come up with excuses to avoid being intimate.”

  “I like where you’re going with that.” Harold smiled.

  Victoria added, “For example yesterday morning, my husband needed to take our daughter to preschool and get to work and I had a plane to catch, but we were missing each other and we knew we wouldn’t be seeing each other for almost two days so we snuck into the bathroom and I gave him a blow job.”

  “Wow.”

  “It was supposed to be a quick one, but he got a little carried away, tossed me up on the bathroom counter and we did it. It was hot and fun and on the plane ride here my mind kept flashing back to it.”

  “That’s so friggin hot.” Harold looked to his co-host. “Isn’t that hot, Carolyn?”

  Carolyn whined, “Yeah, it reminds me of how badly I need to find a boyfriend.”

  “You really do.” Harold agreed. “Anyway, we’ve got to break, but I promise when we come back we’ll talk all about the upcoming TV show.”

  Jillian said, “I’m pretty sure the network’s going to be mad at me if we don’t do that.”

  “Don’t worry. We’ll get to it, but talking about your sex life is so much more interesting.”

  Victoria said, “You know I’ve been listening to your show since I was in high school. It’s just amazing to be able to meet you. I’m so glad your move to satellite radio has been so successful.”

  “The company just announced we hit thirty million subscribers. Oh, Carolyn do you know what that means?”

  “What?”

  “Remember you promised to show us your breasts when we hit thirty million.”

  “I did not!” Carolyn shook her head wearing a frown.

  Harold smiled. “We’re still looking for the tape of that, but I’m almost positive you did.”

  “Keep dreaming.”

  “I have a confession to make,” Victoria began.

  Harold leaned forward in anticipation. “Go ahead.”

  “I’ve always had this crazy fantasy that one day I’d be on the show and you’d ask me to take my top off.”

  “We used to always do that.” Harold looked to Carolyn. “Why don’t we do that anymore?”

  “Maybe you finally matured,” Carolyn replied sarcastically.

  “No, I don’t think that’s it.” He shook his head. “It has to be like eight years at least since. Probably since I got re-married.”

  “I haven’t heard you do it for a while,” Victoria said.

  Harold flashed Carolyn a smile then announced into the microphone. “So, Victoria, are you saying you’re disappointed that I haven’t asked?”

  “Well, I guess a little.”

  “And your husband won’t mind?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “I’m game if you are,” he began. “You have a rockin body and I’d love to see what’s doin under your shirt.”

  “I don’t mind showing you, but can you turn the cameras off?”

  “Sure.” The disc jockey pointed to the cameraman and looked around the room to his other staff members. “Anyone fucks this up for me and pulls out a cell phone and you’re fired.”

  “Ready?” Victoria smiled.

  Harold said, “Wait, Jillian, would you like to join her?”

  Jillian replied, “I think my husband would mind.”

  “That bastard.” Harold joked then turned his attention to Victoria. “Okay, Victoria, knock yourself out.”

  After pulling her tight top over her head, Victoria showed off her white lace bra. She grasped the center clasp and opened it, exposing her glorious breasts to her favorite radio celebrity.

  Harold’s eyes bugged out of his head. “Marone a mi! How old are those breasts?”

  “Forty—” Victoria smiled. “Forty…ish.”

  “Your husband is one lucky man.”

  “Thank you.” Victoria re-secured her clasp.

  “Whoa Carolyn, we really need to start having more topless women in studio.”

  “Please don’t,” Carolyn snapped.

  Victoria said, “That’s one more item off my bucket list.”

  “I have to say I’m a big fan of your list.” Harold pointed down to his lap. “I definitely need a break now so I can clean up.”

  “Oh, stop it.” Carolyn shook her head and everyone in the studio shared a laugh.

  After the break they did discuss the books and television show for a few minutes before Victoria monopolized the conversation once again with her stories. The stunning sex therapist went on telling tales of her clients, her underwater Caribbean scuba sex adventure, the couples naked drunk scrabble game, the nude beach in St. Barts and a number of her other sexual escapades. The interview ran forty minutes long and Carolyn’s news segment was cut in half.

  Then later that day, Jillian went on The Tonight Show. After a short appearance without her naughty sex therapist friend up on stage to monopolize the conversation, Jillian got to sufficiently plug the television series. She discussed the rerunning of the first season along with the announcement of the upcoming second season for all of three and a half minutes. Afterward she, Brian and Victoria enjoyed a late dinner at a fine New York restaurant before returning to their hotel. Then the next morning they all headed back to Miami.

  16

  The production company was pleased with Jillian’s promotional tour and the author was able to log a solid couple quality days cranking out chapters in her next novel after they returned home. She wanted to get as much done as she could prior to the television series going back into production.

  After working late, the previous evening, Brian woke up and groggily headed down the stairs. He called out, “Jillian?”

  He was in the mood for pancakes and was hoping his wife was as well. He called her name again, but still there was no reply. Then he heard her voice and headed toward Jillian’s office. He heard her say excitedly, “Oh, Brian’s going to love it.”

  He walked down the hall
and just as he reached the door, she said, “Jeremy, that’s great. He’s been wanting it for a long, long time.”

  Opening his mouth to speak, Brian placed his hand on the partially open door then spotted her sitting at the desk and on the phone. He pressed his lips together then turned to go.

  “How big is it?” she asked.

  A confused look spread across Brian’s face as he stopped in his tracks.

  “Oh, yeah I think he can handle it.” Jillian said softly into the phone.

  His jaw dropped.

  “No, I don’t think I would like one that size.”

  Brian frowned. What the fuck?

  Stepping closer to the doorframe, he peered inside and narrowed his eyes as he watched Jillian huddled over the desk, speaking softly into the phone. “I want it to be a surprise… Uh-huh… Exactly. We’re both so looking forward to your visit.”

  Jillian glanced with concern toward the door and Brian quickly leaned back out of sight, holding his breath. Pressing himself close to the wall, he listened as Jillian continued, “Oh, that’s a great idea… Uh-huh… I think he’ll really like it.”

  Brian shook his head as a look of horror spread across his face.

  “Jeremy, thank you for doing this… Okay, I’d better go… He’s going to be so surprised,” Jillian said. Brian took off down the hall and rushed to the family room.

  He plopped down on the sofa and turned on the television with his mind reeling and his eyes bulging out of his head. Was she really setting up what he thought she was setting up? He’d tried to put the incident in New York out of his mind, but now this.

  “Brian?” He heard her call out and he rubbed his hands over his face.

  “Brian?”

  Pressing his lips together, he picked up the remote then put it back down then picked it up again. He opened his mouth to call out to her, but panicked and just closed his eyes.

  On the television the film, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, was playing as Jillian strolled into the room, smiling. “Oh, there you are. You’re up.”

  Looking at her with his mouth hanging open, he mumbled. “Yeah, I’m… Yep, I’m up.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “Just watching TV.”

  She slipped in next to him on the sofa and cuddled up on his chest. “I was just thinking about you.”

  “You were?” he replied trying to suppress his cringe.