Pieces of Me

by Rachel Ryan

  “So, I think your Mum is right.”

  “What!” It comes out a little louder than I planned and a little more high pitched than my usual voice, but I am kind of shocked. “What do you mean you think she’s right? Are you crazy? He’s with Vanessa. Why would he even look twice at me?”

  “Abbi, you are so blind. Vanessa is boobs and arse, but that’s it. There is no substance to her. She’s totally one dimensional. I think your Mum is right and I think Jake is in love with you.”

  “Hey girls!”

  I look up to see Jake and Corey standing in front of us. Oh my God! I hope they didn’t hear what Lacie had said. But, when my eyes drift to Jake’s face, I can see his dimples, so I know he must have heard her. He’s also standing only a metre away from us, so I think it’s pretty safe to say he heard everything.

  As his eyes search mine, I can feel my face heating. I glance at Lacie to see her looking back and forth at us with a massive smile on her face.

  “Hey, guys. Fancy seeing you here! We were just about to head over to the food court for a milkshake, care to join us?”

  Corey starts to say something. “Sorry…” But Jake cuts him off.

  “Of course we’d like to join you.” He grins at me and I quickly start walking toward the little coffee house at the end of the food court.

  Jake falls into step beside me, but I don’t look at him. I can’t. Are my Mum and Lacie right? Could I be in love with Jake? Now I feel even more nervous around him. I feel that if I look at him now, he will see straight through me, right into my soul. Instead, I glance back to see Lacie and Corey walking side by side, Lacie gazing longingly at him as he talks about some football game. Suddenly, I feel Jake’s hand on my shoulder, and I immediately feel tingles down my arm.

  “Are you okay, Shorty?”

  Shrugging, I paste a smile on my face before quickly glancing at him.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  Just as he starts to speak again, we reach the coffee house and I turn and ask Lacie and Corey what they want to drink, rudely cutting off Jake. I’m starting to feel like a bitch, but for some reason, I can’t act normal around him anymore. I’m far too aware of him and how my body reacts to him when he’s near. He follows me to the counter and after we put in our order, I stand awkwardly, still trying to avoid looking in his eyes.

  “Shorty.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Look at me. Please.” I can’t ignore the desperation and sadness in his voice, so I turn and slowly raise my eyes, until they meet his chocolate ones; beautiful, chocolate brown, puppy dog eyes. The worried look on his face tugs at my heart strings, making me feel horrible.

  “Jake, I’m okay.”

  He doesn’t buy it for a second.

  “Why does it feel like you’re trying to avoid me?”

  “I’m not avoiding you, Jake. I’m just…I don’t know. I’m just not feeling well, I’ve got a headache.”

  “Oh.”

  The young girl that served us places our drinks on the counter and I quickly grab two of them and make my way to the table where Corey and Lacie are deep in conversation. Jake follows close behind me, I can almost feel the heat from his body as I place the drinks on the table and slide onto the booth seat. Corey and Lacie are occupying one side, so Jake slides in next to me, his elbow bumping mine and giving me goosebumps all over. Leaning away from him, I glance over and see him watching me again, with his thinking face on. I strike up a conversation with the others and try to avoid looking at Jake again.

  Half an hour later, Lacie declares that we need to get back to our shopping. Jake stands up and holds his hand out to me. I hesitate slightly before placing my hand in his and sliding out of the booth, the heat from his touch making my knees weak as I stand in front of him. He watches me closely for a few seconds before speaking.

  “I’ll see you later tonight.”

  “Tonight?”

  “Yeah, tonight. The party.”

  “Uh, yeah. See you later.”

  It’s only then I realise that I am still holding his hand, and I don’t want to let it go. I just want to wrap my arms around his waist and stay there forever. He gives my hand a little squeeze and then lets it go before backing up to let me past.

  As Lacie and I walk away, she giggles and whispers.

  “Oh my God. You could cut the sexual tension with a knife.”

  I elbow her playfully in the ribs, but she is right. The air between us was sizzling and I was so close to making a fool of myself by doing something totally stupid, like throwing myself at my best friend. I need to pull myself together and stop acting like a lovesick puppy.

  ***

  That night I take my time getting ready. After a nice relaxing bubble bath, I pick out a short black skirt and a silver halter top. I straighten my long, chocolate brown, wavy hair and sweep it up into a ponytail and apply some mascara on my long lashes, making my blue eyes stand out. I normally don’t wear makeup but when I do I try to keep it natural. I squirt on some of my favourite perfume and make my way downstairs to wait for Jake. I’ve decided that tonight I’m going to try my hardest to act normal around him. I think I’m just going through a phase, and if I act like my usual self, my obsession with my best friend might go away and let us return to our friendship without any kind of weirdness between us.

  Our friendship has always confused a lot of people, especially our parents. I guess they are all surprised that our relationship hasn’t turned into more by now. I mean, I love Jake, I always have. I love him like the brother I never had. At least, that’s how it has been up until recently. What kind of girl imagines kissing her brother? Or, running her hands over his muscular arms and chest? I guess that’s why I have been feeling awkward about my developing feelings, because a lot of people see us like siblings. But I guess deep down, I’m also a little bit worried that my feelings for Jake aren’t mutual. As long as I can remember he has always had a girlfriend. Surely if he felt the same way about me, he wouldn’t be with all of these other girls.

  Apart from my first and only kiss with Randy Jacobs behind the local Arcade, I haven’t really captured the interest of many boys. The kiss with Randy when I was fifteen was the only kiss I shared with him, because the next day at school he had told all of his friends that he had felt me up and made me look like a complete tart. Jake had been really pissed off when he heard Randy spreading rumours about me and had given Randy a black eye. Ever since then, I have been very selective with who I spend my time with.

  My parents are in the kitchen washing the dinner dishes when I walk in and perch on top of a stool at the breakfast bar. My thirteen year old sister, Cameron is sitting at the table doing her homework and doesn’t really pay any attention to me.

  Mum compliments my outfit, but my Dad has a deep crease along his brow.

  “Is that what you’re wearing? Where’s the rest of your skirt?”

  Rolling my eyes I laugh light heartedly. It wouldn’t matter what I was wearing, my Dad would still find something to pick at. He is quite protective of his ‘little girl’; Even though his little girl will be turning eighteen in a few months.

  My Mum walks over and gives me a hug.

  “I think you look beautiful, sweetie. Is Jake picking you up?”

  “Yeah, he should be here soon.”

  My Father shakes his head. “You make sure that boy doesn’t drink and drive.

  Rolling my eyes, I nod my head. “Yes, Dad.”

  Hearing the doorbell, I give my parents a quick kiss and make my way to the front door. Pulling it open my heart stammers as I take in the sight before me. Jake is standing there in a pair of dark jeans, a black, firm fitting Metallica shirt and his brown hair, which is slightly longer on the top, is messy and sexy.

  OMG! Did I just refer to my best friend as sexy?

  Jakes dark eyes sweep over my outfit, lingering on my legs, making me feel a little self-conscious.

  “What’s wrong? Is this outfit okay?”

  He sha
kes his head slightly before his dark eyes meet mine and he says in a soft, deep voice.

  “It’s perfect, shorty.”

  “I wish you’d stop calling me that.”

  He’s always been a lot taller than my 5’4 frame, hence, the nickname. I tell him that I don’t like it but secretly, I love it.

  “You know you love it, Shorty.” He bumps me with his hip as we walk toward his car.

  Ignoring his comment I ask.

  “Can you drive by Lacie’s place and pick her up? Her parents caved and told her she can come as long as she’s home by midnight.”

  His brows draw together and he kind of looks a little pissed, probably because Lacie’s house is on the other side of town. But being the great friend that he is he doesn’t complain and heads toward Lacie’s neighbourhood.

  Our hometown of Coffs Harbour isn’t huge but it takes a while to get to the other side of town.

  We pull into Lacie’s driveway fifteen minutes later and Jake beeps the horn. While we wait for her to make an appearance, we chat about school and the latest gossip; who’s dating who and who’s cheating on whom. It feels a little awkward sitting alone with him, which is kind of upsetting as it’s never been awkward between us. After a minute, Lacie appears in the tightest, shortest, little black dress I have ever seen. She’s wearing six inch black pumps that put my platform Mary Janes to shame. With some effort she climbs up into the backseat and shuts the door.

  Turning in my seat I look her up and down.

  “Lacie, what are you wearing? You look so hot.” Her blonde hair is pulled into a sleek straight ponytail and her makeup is flawless. She is normally a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl like me, so I have never seen her dressed up like this.

  “I thought I’d put a bit of effort into my look tonight. You never know, I might finally attract someone’s attention.”

  Jake is watching her in the rear view mirror and grins as he shakes his head. He knows all about Lacie’s crush on Corey.

  “I’d like to see that actually.”

  He hates Grace just as much as we do and has questioned Corey many times over his relationship with her, but no one can really understand what Corey sees in her. Apart from her blonde hair, big boobs and cheerleader figure.

  They’ve been together for over a year and I honestly don’t know how he puts up with her bitchy attitude and fake personality.

  I glance over at Jake to see him smiling at me, his cute dimples appearing. Feeling the goose bumps spread all over my body; I rub my hands up and down the length of my arms.

  “Are you cold, Shorty?” He leans forward and switches the heater on low. There really is no need, the early spring weather is quite warm, but I’m not going to tell him that his gorgeous smile gave me the chills.

  We arrive at Grace’s house and Jake pulls up behind a row of cars out the front. We pile out of the car and walk up the driveway toward the garage out the back. Grace’s parents let her have these parties in the room above their garage once a month. The room is huge and has been set up like a games room with a large pool table and huge flat screen TV with various game consoles. They aren’t huge parties, maybe twenty to thirty people tops, but they are always memorable and there is always alcohol. I don’t think Grace likes the fact that we always come to her parties, but it’s kind of a tradition that we tag along with Jake.

  As we walk up the stairs and through the door, many eyes turn toward us, and I can hear hushed whispers as we follow Jake around the room in his search for Corey.

  Corey is sitting on one of the couches with a couple of other guys playing a video game, but when he sees Jake he stands up and they do that whole macho man hug thing. Corey turns to greet me but when something behind me catches his eye, he stands motionless and after a few seconds his face lights up in a wide grin. I turn around expecting to see Grace but the only person standing behind me is Lacie and she’s staring straight back at Corey, the lust in her dark eyes so obvious.

  Grabbing hold of Jake’s hand I pull him over to the pool table so Corey and Lacie can have their little moment without us standing there gawking.

  Jake is watching them with a massive smirk.

  “Wow, who knew all this time all she needed to do to get his attention was put on a dress?”

  Giggling, I look up into his eyes.

  “It’s not just the dress and the six inch heels; she has gone to so much effort tonight. I bet he doesn’t realize it was all for him.”

  “Who did you dress up for tonight, Shorty?”

  Blushing, I look down at the floor, trying to hide it.

  “What makes you think I have dressed up for someone?”

  He leans down and whispers in my ear, his warm breath on my neck making me shiver.

  “Because you look beautiful.”

  I try to dispel the flutters in my belly by turning and watching Lacie and Corey. But my heart is racing as I try to process what he just said to me. We’ve been friends for eleven years and he’s never really paid any attention to my looks let alone called me beautiful. What the hell is going on with us? Feeling a little awkward I move over to the bar to get myself a drink.

  After a couple of beers, I’m feeling a little more relaxed and a little less worried about the changes I can feel happening between Jake and I. Lacie and I moved a few things out of the middle of the room and made our own little dance floor and now as we bust a move we are surrounded by couples grinding away. Things get a little awkward when Grace drags Corey over and starts dancing with him like he’s a pole and she’s a skanky stripper. She smirks at Lacie as she rubs her ass in Corey’s groin and he runs his hands up and down her hips. But after a few minutes he kind of loses interest in Grace’s stripper moves and slides in closer to us. She moves to stand at the side of the room sipping her drink and glaring in our direction.

  As I swing my hips to the rhythm of the music I get the feeling that someone’s watching me. Scanning the room I notice Jake standing with a couple of his friends, his eyes pointed directly at me and a strange expression on his face. He’s got his thinking face on. When he’s deep in thought, his brow creases and his eyes get all squinty. I normally tease him and tell him not to think too hard or he will bust a blood vessel. But the way he’s staring at me now, I can almost feel his gaze tickling my skin.

  Hot…Scorching.

  We continue to stare at each other while I swivel my hips and raise my hands behind my head, trying my hardest to look sexy. I don’t know why I’m trying to look sexy for my best friend, it must be the beer. Good old liquid courage.

  He holds my gaze as he slowly strolls across the room until he’s standing in front of me. I keep dancing as he slides an arm around my waist, but my whole body shudders at his touch. He glances down at my mouth, and I drag my teeth over my bottom lip. His dimples appear and he pulls me flush against his body and starts moving along with me. He leans down and I can feel the tickle of his breath just below my ear as he whispers.

  “What are you trying to do to me, Shorty?”

  I suck in a short breath “I’m not trying to do anything.”

  “Stop flirting with me then.”

  “Jake! I’m not flirting with you. How was I flirting with you?”

  Standing up straight he looks into my eyes again. “Shorty, your eyes were flirting with me.” He runs his hands down over my hips, leaving a trail of goose bumps. “Your hips were flirting with me.”

  I gaze up into his deep brown eyes and nervously run my tongue over my bottom lip. His eyes follow my tongue, his gaze lingering on my mouth but when his eyes finally meet mine again, they are filled with what can only be described as hunger. What the hell is happening? Friends don’t look at each other like this…like they want to devour each other. But that’s how he is staring at me now and it’s making my whole body tremble. The alcohol has relaxed me to the point of not being able to hide my feelings, but I know Jake is completely sober. He always limits himself to one drink when he is the designated driver. I feel s
o confused and the heat of his gaze is making it hard to breathe. I need fresh air.

  Stepping away from him I weave through the crowd and push the door open, practically running and almost falling down the stairs. When I get to the ground I stumble over the gravel in the driveway and find my way to Jake’s SUV. Leaning against the passenger door, I rub my hands over my face, careful not to smudge my makeup.

  “You idiot, Shorty! You really messed that up.” I scold myself for the way my body is reacting to his. I need to remind myself that we are just friends, he has a girlfriend.

  “See, I knew you liked that nickname. Now you’re calling yourself Shorty.”

  Swinging around I see him moving around the front of the car.

  “Are you okay, Abigail?”

  “Ugh! Don’t call me that. It’s worse than Shorty.” He stops about two feet away from me and slightly hunches so he can look into my eyes. I’m staring at the ground, though, and trying to avoid his eyes.

  “Seriously, are you okay? Did I do something that upset you?”

  Sighing, I finally look up into his worried eyes.

  “No Jake. You didn’t do anything. It’s me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately.”

  Looking a little confused, he asks.

  “What do you mean?”

  I shake my head, wishing I hadn’t had those beers, at least then I could have pretended I was fine. But the alcohol has scattered my brain and I can’t think straight.

  “I don’t know. I’ve been feeling things…you know what, don’t worry about it.”

  I go to walk past him again but he grabs hold of my hand and pulls me toward him.

  “Abbi, you can tell me. We tell each other everything.”

  “This is different.”

  “Why? How is it different?”