Pieces of Me

by Rachel Ryan

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just trying not to be too obvious in front of Julie.” We have decided not to go public with our relationship just yet. Julie seems to be the only member of the faculty that is suspicious and she is such a gossip, so she is the last person I want to know. Plus she has the hots for Jake and makes it so obvious that she wants him.

  “Okay.” His brows are drawn together like he doesn’t buy what I’m telling him so I try to reassure him.

  “Jake, I’m fine. I love you.”

  He grins as he whispers back. “I love you too shorty.”

  Later that night we are curled up on my sofa watching a cheesy movie with a big bowl of popcorn sitting in Jake’s lap.

  One of his arms is wrapped around me and his fingers are trailing up and down my arm, his feather like touch giving me goosebumps.

  He puts the bowl in my lap when his phone rings and he scoops it off the coffee table.

  “Hey, Ma.” He smiles at me. “Good, just watching a movie with Shorty.” He had informed his Mum about our relationship a few days ago and apparently she had been pretty excited that everything had worked out. “What? What do you mean? What did she say?” Jakes smile is wiped from his handsome face and his olive complexion suddenly looks pale. “What the fuck? Shit! Sorry Ma.”

  He gets up and walks into the kitchen, leaving me to wonder what could be wrong. Hopefully his family are all okay; I hate the thought of him having to leave me. I know it’s selfish of me, but I just got him back I don’t want to lose him again.

  Figuring he walked out of the room for some privacy, I stay on the sofa and wait for him to finish the call and come back in. When he does a few minutes later, he looks nervous. My heart starts racing while I wait for him to tell me the news. He sits beside me and turns so that he’s facing me.

  “Abbi, I need to go back to Perth.”

  My heart completely stops and I feel a sense of déjà vu.

  “What?”

  “There’s been an incident and I need to just go back for a few days.”

  “What happened? Is your Mum okay? Is it Josh?”

  “No, they’re fine. It’s complicated. I just need to go back and sort something out.”

  I feel an immense feeling of rejection at the fact that he feels he can’t share the details with me. I stand up and start to clean up the living room. When I feel anxious about something I clean. It helps me clear my head and relax. Weird, I know.

  “Okay. If you have to go, you have to go. When are you leaving?”

  “I just called the airline and I got a ticket for first thing in the morning. So I should get going. I need to organise a replacement at work and pack a bag.” He stands and puts his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he watches me straighten the cushions on the sofa. “Shorty, will you be okay?”

  “Of course I will. I managed the last six years without you didn’t I?” I can see in his eyes that I have hurt him and immediately regret my words.

  “Okay, well…I’ll call you tomorrow night. I love you.”

  I walk to him and wrap my arms around his waist. I’m upset, but I could never let him leave me again without telling him how I feel about him.

  “I love you too.” He leans down for a kiss and I show him in my kiss how much I love him.

  As he leaves, I hope he sorts out whatever problem there is quickly and returns to me soon. I have become so used to him being around; I’m going to miss him so much.

  ***

  By the time the weekend rolls around he is still in Perth. Four days without him has been absolute torture and the worst part is I still don’t know what is keeping him away from me. He calls every night and when I ask how things are at home he tells me it’s all under control, but he will still be a few days yet. I am going crazy waiting for him to come home. I know we’ve only been together for a short while, but even trying to sleep without him is impossible. My bed feels huge and empty without him to cuddle up to and I find myself tossing and turning each night without him.

  On Saturday night Cameron and I are sitting in the living room having a couple of drinks when I get a call from Lacie.

  “Hey Lacie Loo.” I have had a few drinks and am feeling quite merry for the first time all week.

  “Hey…are you drunk?”

  “Nooope. Me and Cam are just having a drink or two.”

  In the background I hear Cam say “Or ten.”

  I try to stifle my giggle and be serious for a second.

  “What’s up Lace?”

  “Um…fine…how are things going with Jake?”

  “Ooohh. He’s so hot. He is so sexy. I can’t get enough of him. I would be fucking his brains out right now if he was here. But he is in Perth doing God knows what. Apparently, it’s a top secret mission and I can’t know the details.”

  “Okay. Well I just found out the details from Corey. Are you sitting down, Abbi?”

  “Yeah. Tell me, Lacie.”

  I suddenly realise that she isn’t her cheery self. What the hell is she about to tell me? Her next words sober me up pretty fast.

  “Corey is going to fucking kill me, but I think you deserve to know. Jake went back to Perth because his ex-girlfriend is pregnant. She’s saying that it’s his baby.”

  Chapter Eleven

  I spend all of Sunday in bed with a terrible headache and I don’t think it’s completely from the alcohol. Cameron has been fussing over me all day making sure that I’m drinking enough water and staying hydrated, she even brought me breakfast in bed. I know she’s just fussing because of what happened after I got off the phone to Lacie last night. Stupid me, I couldn’t just wait until the morning when I was sober. I called Jake as soon as my phone call with Lacie had ended. I didn’t even tell Cameron the news first. She found out when she heard me going off at Jake on the phone. I can’t even remember exactly what I said to him, but I remember confronting him and he didn’t deny it. He said he didn’t want to tell me until he found out for sure. He also said that her labour is being induced on Tuesday and then they will do a paternity test on the baby, the results taking up to three days. The alcohol turned me into a bit of a bitch and I may have told him to stay in Perth and not bother coming back to me. He told me he would call me tonight, when I was sober and we would discuss it like adults.

  Later in the afternoon I am sitting on the sofa, mindlessly surfing the channels on television. Rubbing my hands over my face, I can’t believe that just a week ago my life was finally beginning to feel complete. The man I love with all of my heart was finally back in my life after six long and lonely years apart and now, one week later, I fear that I am going to lose him again. I’m so lost in thought, I jump slightly when there is a soft knock on the door. I am tempted to ignore it, but there is a chance it could be Jake, arriving home early with the news it was all a big misunderstanding and his ex-girlfriend was actually a whore that gave it up to everyone. Wishful thinking, I guess. Glancing through the peephole, my heart races when I realise it’s Daniel’s wife. What the hell is she doing here? How did she know where to find me?

  Opening the door slowly, I suddenly remember that I must look like death warmed up. I haven’t even bothered brushing my hair today and I’m still in my pyjamas.

  “Hello. What can I do for you?”

  “Hi, Abbi. Can I please come in?” Her voice is very soft and sweet and it kind of contradicts her looks. She is dressed very professionally in a navy pant suit and lots of gold jewellery. Her handbag looks very expensive and her blond hair is coiled in a tight bun. I didn’t really take much notice of her at the cinema the other day, but up close she is very beautiful and looks a lot younger than I thought she was.

  I take a step back and gesture for her to come in and take a seat on the sofa. I sit on the other one and wait for her to say what she has to say. I assume she is here to confront me and I am ready to tell her the whole story.

  “Abbi, I know you probably weren’t expecting me to show up on your doorstep. I needed to speak with y
ou though and this kind of conversation needs to be done face to face.”

  “Okay.”

  “Look, I’m here because I am a little concerned about Daniel. He seems to have developed an obsession with you and I think…I think you may be in danger.”

  Her words shock me and I can’t speak. I don’t know what to say to her.

  “I know you probably think I sound crazy, but it’s true. That day your sister confronted us at the movies Daniel told me the whole story about your relationship with him. He admitted that he misled you and wasn’t completely honest about our marriage.”

  I suddenly find my words. “He lied to me. I didn’t even know that you existed. As soon as I did I broke it off with him.”

  “I know, he told me that. I was close to leaving him after he told me all about you, but I decided that I couldn’t throw away ten years with the love of my life over one indiscretion.”

  “Wow, ten years. I had no idea.”

  She smiles sadly. “Yes, we were high school sweet hearts and married straight after graduating high school. He was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We started having problems a few years ago when we were trying to fall pregnant. I guess in a way we both blamed each other for the fact that it wasn’t happening and we started arguing all of the time. Up until recently it was like we were strangers living in the same house. It got to the point where I was ready for a divorce. I found a solicitor and had the papers drawn up and then all of a sudden, he changed. Suddenly he was like the man I fell in love with all of those years ago.” She wipes her cheek as a tear begins to fall and my heart strings tug. I can’t help but feel sorry for her. I know exactly what it feels like to lose the one thing you want most in the world.

  “He seemed happy and suddenly started taking an interest in my life and for the first time in years he started making love to me again. I realise now that all of this started happening when he met you eight months ago.”

  She smiles sadly at me and continues as I sit there not knowing what to say to comfort her.

  “I thought that maybe we could get through our rough patch and cancelled the divorce proceedings. At this stage I had no idea that he had found someone new. Our marriage was rejuvenised and we were getting along better than we ever had. I realised that I loved him too much to live without him and I could get past the fact we were unable to conceive a child. He would go away for a couple of days for trips that he told me were work projects and then he would come home and we wouldn’t leave the bedroom for days. I realise now that he was with you during those times.”

  My stomach is churning as I listen to her story, but I need to hear the rest.

  “After your sister confronted him at the cinema all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. I had no suspicion at all that he was cheating on me but when he told me you two hadn’t yet been…intimate, I realised that all of those times we made love, he was probably thinking of you. But silly me, I believed that I could make him forget about you and he would love me again. I was wrong; I left him two days ago.”

  Wait a minute. He said he had left her when he came to see me, but of course he would, he’s a liar.

  “Anyway, he has a private studio at the back of our house where he does a lot of his work, and two days ago I came home from work and went looking for him. Normally, he locks the studio door to keep out intruders but this time I guess he forgot. When I searched the house and couldn’t find him I thought he might be in his studio, so I went back there looking for him and when I opened the door, the first thing I saw was you. He has an entire wall covered in photos of you. And they aren’t the type of photos one has posed for; they are photos that have been taken when you are unaware.”

  “What? Why…why would he do that?”

  “Abbi, I’m really sorry, but I think my husband is obsessed with you and is stalking you.”

  “Oh my God! Why would he do that? It wasn’t even that serious between us.”

  “Look, I don’t know if he is dangerous, but I believe an obsession like this one can lead to a dangerous situation. I just thought you needed to know.”

  She stands up to leave and I silently follow her to the door.

  “Jessica, I’m really sorry about my part in all of this. I never would have agreed to see him if I knew he was married.”

  She flashes a lovely smile and says, “I know.” Before walking out of the door and closing it softly behind her.

  As soon as she’s gone, I collapse back onto the sofa and rub my hands over my face. I don’t know what to think about the news Jessica shared with me about Daniel. Is he really dangerous? I don’t know. I spent eight months with this man and only just now realised that I know absolutely nothing about him. He has been leading a double life and I’m caught right in the middle. I feel like I am going to be sick.

  The front door opening startles me and Cameron walks in and switches the living room lights on giving me a strange look.

  “Abbi? Are you alright? Why are you sitting in the dark?”

  I’m not sure how long I’ve been sitting here lost in my thoughts, but when I look out the window I realise the day is winding down into evening.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I just had a visit from Jessica.”

  Cameron eyes widen in surprise.

  “You mean Daniel’s Jessica? What did she want?” She drops her backpack on the floor and sits down beside me.

  “I think she came to warn me about Daniel.”

  Cameron’s brows draw together in a frown.

  “Warn you?”

  I explain the photos to Cameron and she automatically reaches for her phone. She’s just like Jake, so dramatic.

  “Cameron, put your phone away, who are you going to call anyway?”

  “The Police, Abbi. You need to report this. That fucker is stalking you and has photos of you that you didn’t even know he had taken.”

  “Cameron, he hasn’t done anything to me. The Police aren’t going to do a thing about a guy having a bunch of photos of a girl he dated.”

  As she puts her phone down on the table she shakes her head.

  “I don’t like this, Abbi. I told you he was bad news. That dirty fucking perv.” She turns to me looking serious. “Are you going to tell Jake?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t even know what’s happening with me and Jake. He has his own issues going on; I don’t want to bother him with this.”

  Cameron shakes her head.

  “Abbi, you need to tell him about this.”

  “Please Cameron. Let’s just wait and find out the news about the baby and then I will tell him. Promise me you won’t say anything to anyone?”

  “Ughh! Fine. I won’t say anything.”

  ***

  I’m lying in bed unsuccessfully trying to focus on my book, when Jake calls.

  “Hi Jake.”

  “Hey Babe. How are you feeling today?”

  “I’m fine. Why?”

  He chuckles softly. “You were pretty smashed last night.”

  “I was not.” I hate sounding so defensive, but I know he’s right. “I’m sorry about the things I said to you last night. I didn’t mean any of it.”

  “I know, Shorty.” He sounds like he’s smiling. “I should have been upfront with you from the beginning. I hate that you had to find out from someone else. I just didn’t want to worry you. I miss you.”

  Hearing those words from him brings tears to my eyes. I clutch my heart locket in my hand. What will happen if the baby is his? Will he move back to Perth? Would I go with him? Would he want me to go with him? So many questions that I don’t have any answers to.

  “I miss you too, Jake. I wish you were here with me now.”

  He groans softly. “Me too. What are you doing?”

  “I’m in bed, reading.”

  “The thought of you in bed in those cute little pyjamas is turning me on.”

  “But I’m not wearing pyjamas, Jake. I’m in little black lace panties and a silky black camisole.”
Hearing his moan warms me to my core and I smile when I picture him touching himself. I throw my book down on the floor and get comfortable as my hand starts to wander south. I need this now, this comfort. I wish he was here to wrap his body around mine, but phone sex will have to do.

  ***

  On Tuesday afternoon, just as I’m getting into my car to head home after work, I get a message from Jake saying that the baby had been born an hour ago and they were performing the test straight away with the blood from the umbilical cord. I’ve been trying not to think about it all day, but hearing that the baby has been born makes it all now seem more real. There is a chance that the man I am in love with has fathered a child with another woman and I’m not a religious woman, but as I sit in my car trying to hold in my tears, I pray to God that the baby is not his. Three more days of waiting and then we will know for sure.

  My phone beeps again and my heart stops as I see it’s from Daniel. I almost delete it without even reading it, but curiosity gets the best of me.

  You look beautiful today, Abbi. I was thinking maybe we could get together and go out for a coffee or maybe even for dinner? Call me. I love you.

  Cursing my curiosity, I quickly glance around the parking lot as I start my car and tear out of there. By the time I arrive home there are two more messages from Daniel and I quickly delete them as I hurry up the stairs to my apartment. When I get to my door there is a parcel leaning up against it. I pick it up and unlock the door before walking inside and dumping the parcel on the coffee table. Walking into the kitchen, I grab a beer out of the fridge to settle my nerves; I really shouldn’t let him get to me like that. If I just keep on ignoring him he should get the hint and leave me the hell alone, hopefully.

  Pulling some ingredients out of the fridge, I start on making some lasagne for dinner. I forget all about the parcel until Cameron arrives home and asks me who it’s from. I didn’t even bother looking to see if it was for me or Cameron when I found it, but she says that it is addressed to me. I open the box and remove the layer of pink tissue paper to find light blue and black lingerie, with suspenders. Smiling to myself, I can imagine how embarrassed Jake must have been when he went into the store to purchase this. Finding a card underneath the garment I pick it up and my smile fades as I read the words.