“Explain to me what I just saw out there,” she finally said. I was about to open my mouth to speak when she continued. “I mean this is a joke, right?”
I waited a few minutes to see if she was going to say something else. When she didn’t, I tried to find the words to explain it to them.
“I know this is a shock, but I am in love.” I was hoping that would hit a soft spot with them but apparently it made them more upset.
“I can’t even express what I’m feeling right now because I know this isn’t the child I raised.”
I sat there like a twelve-year-old as my mother struggled to comprehend what was happening. I found my thoughts drifting to Ahvi in the room with my family. I hoped she wasn’t being interrogated like I was.
“Are you listening to me?” my mother yelled, snapping me back to the present moment.
“Okay, why don’t we take a step back. Morgan, how long have you been . . .”
“A lesbian?” I finished the question for my father. My mother almost had a heart attack at the mention of the word. I thought being delicate with my family was the way to go, but all I wanted to do was get out there with my fiancé. “Listen, guys, I love you both and I respect you, but this is who I am and I am going to marry her.”
I shocked myself with how bold I was with them. I had never talked to them so matter-of-factly, but this situation wasn’t going to get any better if I tiptoed around it.
“How do you think you are going to get married here in Georgia? We are supposed to meet with the reverend tomorrow.” My mother looked like she was on the brink of tears.
I wished I could say something to comfort her, but there was probably nothing I could say that would help unless it was, “April Fools.’”
“I don’t know, Mom, because we had planned to get married in Spain.” I was over this conversation at this point. I was glad that everything was out in the open but having a wedding in Georgia was not my concern. “Guys, why don’t you just meet her and we can talk about this later.”
Without waiting for a response I got up from the bed and left the room. I wasn’t going to be held hostage any longer and I wanted to make sure that my family hadn’t slaughtered Ahvi and were beginning to pick at her bones.
When I walked into the living room, my little cousins were all over her. I couldn’t tell whether they were interested in her until I saw Ahvi burst into laughter.
“So you never been with a man before?” I heard my cousin Jayla ask as I got closer to them.
“Once, when I was fourteen. I dated Arthur Wells, but he now lives with his boyfriend in France,” she responded. The teenagers seemed so fascinated with her, which warmed my heart a little. I was glad to see someone was on my side.
“Okay, everyone, stand down.” I squeezed between Ahvi and one of my cousins on the couch and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. I could feel the stares from around the room.
“Where’s your loo?” I had a feeling that the stares were a little uncomfortable for Ahvi as well and she needed to regroup. I gave her the directions to the bathroom and watched as she switched down the hall. As soon as she closed the door I was bombarded with questions. It seemed like everyone in the room had something to say or ask and it all sounded like German coming at me.
“Everybody, listen up.” My father’s voice was commanding and quieted the room. “We are going to treat Ahvi with respect, get to know her, and nobody is going to embarrass Morgan.”
My daddy’s statement had me speechless. I was shocked and elated that they were going to support me. I got up from the couch and jumped in his arms like I was five years old. I didn’t know why but I was happy that my parents decided to accept not only me, but Ahvi. It made me reconsider my feelings about this weekend.
“We’re going to finish our conversation later,” he whispered in my ear. His tone wasn’t as accepting as it was a second ago. Maybe I got excited too early.
Everybody began to gravitate toward the dining room to eat and I was left standing there to prepare myself for what this weekend was really going to bring. I was praying that I could get through the rest of this trip with Ahvi by my side, but I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be all acceptance and roses.
Chapter 22
Henry
I was still utterly confused by what we saw at the airport when we pulled up to Morgan’s engagement party a few hours later. Morgan, the woman I had known my whole life, was planning on marrying a woman. Granted, she was a very fine woman, but how was this possible? I mean, I didn’t care how good-looking Idris Elba was to women around the world, dude ain’t fine enough to turn me gay. I questioned myself the whole ride back. Did I do something to turn her off men? Was Ahvi the first girl she’d been with? Was my sex bad? What was I saying? Of course my sex wasn’t bad. Morgan may have been my first but I was a natural in them sheets.
“Are you sure you tryin’a do this?” Beau asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. He shut the car off and stared at the house as if it were possessed. “I mean, we can go hit the bar right now and forget we know anything.”
I didn’t even ponder over that option like I normally would. I wanted to go in here and figure out how this was even possible. I wanted to know if this had something to do with me. I got out of the car without answering Beau. I could hear him scrambling behind me to get out of the car and catch up. I was intently focused on getting inside the house and talking to Morgan.
“Last chance, bruh. We don’t have to do this.” Beau made his final plea as we reached the porch.
I knew that whatever he said wouldn’t sway me. “Beau, chill. Go in here, eat some food, kick it with your fam, and let me do what I gotta do.”
I walked into the house and it wasn’t the same vibe that most Willis gatherings had. People were mingling and eating, but there was an awkward tension in the air. It felt like everyone was tiptoeing around an enormous elephant in the room. I spotted Morgan in the kitchen with the woman we saw her pick up from the airport. She had a look in her eyes that I had never seen before. She gazed at this woman with so much passion, it almost made me turn around and leave.
“Hey, everybody.” I received several different reactions as I announced myself. I could tell some people were happy to see me, some people were wondering what I was doing there, and some people wanted to see if there were going to be fireworks. I was actually grateful that Beau talked me in to going to the airport to see Ahvi before anyone else because I couldn’t imagine walking into this situation blindly.
“Y’all didn’t eat all the food, did you?” Beau said, being his normal greedy self. It actually relieved some of the tension and turned the focus off me. I made my way to the kitchen while Beau was being a diversion. Watching the two of them sneak kisses and play and laugh with each other reminded me when we were sixteen. It gave me a lump in my throat and a pain in my gut. Maybe it’s true what they say: you never forget your first.
“Am I interrupting something?” I said, kind of startling them. They separated quickly as if they just got caught by their parents.
“Henry, I wasn’t expecting to see you today.”
“And miss one of your mom’s parties? Never.” The three of us stood there in silence for a moment. Morgan looked like she didn’t know what to say and Ahvi stood there awkwardly, waiting to be introduced.
“I’m Ahvianna.” The gorgeous woman from the airport extended her hand. She was even more beautiful up close and I could see the appeal, but it still didn’t explain to me Morgan wanting to marry this woman.
“I’m sorry. Henry, this is my fiancé, Ahvi. Ahvi, this is Henry. We grew up together.”
I shook Ahvi’s hand and was completely offended with the comment Morgan just made. We grew up together? Oh, I see what time it is. If she wanted to play this game, I knew how to beat her.
“Well, we did a little more than just grow together.” I gave a sly smirk and I could tell it rubbed Morgan the wrong way. “Can we talk?” I turned my attention back to Morgan.
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“I don’t think that’s—”
“Oh, Ahvi doesn’t mind, do you?” I quickly cut off her resistant rant that she was about to get into.
“Of course not. I’ll just go help myself to some more food.” She kissed Morgan on the cheek and walked out the kitchen.
We stared at each other, both refusing to break eye contact.
“What do you want, Henry?” she finally said with an attitude that I thought we had gotten past.
“I’m here to congratulate the happy couple.”
“Oh, please, you are not. I know you better than that.”
This argument seemed so familiar. It was starting to feel like our comfort zone. We couldn’t have a conversation like normal adults.
“Oh right, because we grew up together.” I hated to recycle lines but I knew that it would get to her as much as it got to me.
“I’m not having this conversation with you at my engagement party.” She tried to walk past me but I grabbed her arm. She wasn’t going to play me like I didn’t matter just because she was hitting for a different team now.
“Yes, you are. Out of all the things we’ve been through, you owe me this conversation.”
Morgan was good for standing toe to toe with me in an argument but I wanted her to know that I wasn’t backing down. She was famous for running away from her problems, so it was way overdue for her to face them head-on. I was going to get an answer out of her today. She snatched away from me and opened the back door for me to follow her out.
“So Ahvi is a woman? How long were you going to keep that a secret?” I said as we got out to the back porch.
“Forever if I could’ve.”
She tried to sound sarcastic but I could tell she was serious. I knew this was not something Morgan wanted any of us to know. “See, now that’s what I don’t understand. Aren’t you supposed to tell everyone about the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with?”
“What do you really want?”
“How long have you known that you were gay?” I could feel myself getting heated. I didn’t want to be a punk and make a scene, but this was really affecting me.
“Why does it matter?” She began to raise her voice and I wasn’t going to be intimidated.
“Because as the man who was in love with you for his whole life, I need to know.”
She got really quiet and I was a little afraid of what was going through her head.
“If I tell you the truth will you be satisfied?” she said in a calm tone. The switch was a little eerie for me and I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to answer the question.
“Yeah, I’ll drop it,” I said without thinking.
“I was twelve when I knew I was attracted to girls. I had my first kiss with one at Mallory Jones’s slumber party for her thirteenth birthday. I fooled around with girls all through high school and had my first real girlfriend during my second semester of freshmen year at NYU. So to answer your question, I’ve basically known my whole life.”
I was completely flabbergasted at the proclamation she just made to me. You would have thought the woman that you loved liking girls would be a sexy thing, but it was like daggers to my heart. Every word she spoke in her little soliloquy felt like I was being hit in the gut repeatedly by Floyd Mayweather.
“So what were we? Your cover?” I hated that I sounded like a female, but those were the only words that would come out my mouth.
“Henry, I was trying to figure myself out. I figured if the greatest guy in the whole town couldn’t get my mind off women, then no one could.”
“Wow, well, I’m glad to know that when I was loving you, you were using me to make yourself straight.” I tried my hardest to control my emotions. I couldn’t tell if I was sad, mad, upset, or hurt, and that was pissing me off. I could feel my eyes welling up and I quickly looked away from Morgan to pull myself together.
“You and I will forever be connected because you are my first and only guy. You will always have a special place in my heart because of that.”
“Well, I see what you meant when you said Ahvi has things I don’t have.”
I wanted to pick my next words very carefully because I knew this may be the last time I ever spoke to Morgan. I used to hate watching those sappy chick flicks, like The Notebook, with women I would date. There was always some point in the movie where the main couple would break up and one of the characters would make this big good-bye speech that left the women who were watching it crying. I always thought scenes like that were completely fictional and would never happen in real life. Apparently I was wrong because this seemed like one of those scenes. I was the one who was about to make the sappy good-bye speech.
“I want you to know that you were never just some girl I grew up with. I was honest when I said I saw myself with you for the rest of my life. I wish you would’ve been honest with me.”
I leaned over to her and kissed her softly on the cheek. I felt a tear fall from her eye land on my face. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her for the last time. I could feel her heart beating fast and I knew we were in a consensus that this would be our last encounter.
“Henry, I never meant to hurt you. I need you to believe that. I really do love you, just not like I love Ahvi.”
She tried to sound comforting, but her words stung like a thousand wasps. I never thought this was how it would end between us. Hell, I honestly never thought we would ever be over. I always thought Morgan and I would eventually find our way back to each other.
“Best of luck with the marriage,” I said as I pulled away from her embrace. I took a final look at her face and then proceeded to walk around the house. I didn’t want to go back to the party and pretend like I was over it. I walked down the road, not knowing exactly where I was headed. The only thing I could think about was how grateful I was that the sun was setting, and how I needed a stiff drink.
Chapter 23
Janette
I couldn’t get the scene at the funeral home out of my head. Everything about this morning was so awkward. I really wanted to get more information about what Uncle Earl said about them losing a son. It was so unlikely for something like that to be unknown, at least to the family. My mama was acting weird as well. Storming out the building without any explanation and locking herself in her room was so unlike her. I tried a couple of times to check on her and get her something to eat but she refused to open the door. I decided to stay at my parents’ house to keep an eye on her.
I spent most of the day on my computer, trying to see if I could pull up any newspaper articles or documents of a couple losing a baby. I Googled everything I could think of but came up empty. There had to be something I could find about this.
“Hey, you’re still here,” JJ said as he stood in my doorway.
“Yeah, I wanted to stick around in case Mom wanted to talk. Where you been?” I realized I hadn’t seen my brother since we got back to the house.
“Had to go spend time with Paula. You know her, she’s only understanding for so long before she starts complaining.”
I hated my brother’s girlfriend. He met her a few years ago at a car and bike show in Atlanta and they had been on and off ever since. I always looked at her as someone who wanted a man to take care of her. Now that I thought about it, I didn’t know why I hadn’t tried to get rid of her by now. After this weekend is over, I may need to make that my next project.
“Have you ever heard anything about Uncle Earl and Beanie losing a son?” I wasn’t going to even acknowledge the Paula comment.
“Naw, how did you hear about it?” He looked just as confused as I did this morning.
“Uncle Earl told me himself today. I just thought it was weird that we’ve never heard about it before.”
“Well, that’s not something people want to be spread around.” As quickly as he was confused, he was uninterested. JJ was never one for gossip and he tried to stay out of people’s drama. That was so odd to me.
“I know,
but isn’t it strange that there has never been any mention about it?”
“Nettie, I don’t know what you are fishing for, but let it go. People lose children all the time and it’s not something they want to talk about.” He gave me a reassuring kiss on my forehead as he always did. “I’m tired and I’m going to bed.”
He walked out the room and I took in a deep breath. Maybe he was right. Maybe I was over-thinking things. I needed to relax. This whole week so far was really getting to me. I shut my computer and lay back on my bed. I gazed at my ceiling and began to think about my daddy. I had been distracted lately and hadn’t really harped on the memories I had with him. The times I most remembered having with my father was playing chess with him. He would teach me life lessons and strategy.
“Always look at things from every angle. You never want to be without a plan B,” he would say as he moved pieces around the board.
I never realized how much he shaped me. I closed my eyes and felt a tear fall down my cheek. I missed him. An annoying buzz coming from my back pocket yanked me out of my moment. I pulled out my phone and quickly answered it without looking at who it was.
“Girl, I hope you are sitting down for this one.” Millie’s voice blared through the phone.
“I’m not really in the mood for gossip, Mills.” For once I was going to take my brother’s advice and let things go. I just wanted to focus on my business tonight.
“If you don’t want to hear how Morgan’s future husband is actually a woman, then I’ll just call somebody who does.”
I sat straight up in the bed. This must have been a dream. There was no way I heard what I thought I just heard. Morgan “Miss Perfect” Willis was a lesbian?
“Say what now?” was all that could come out my mouth.
“Girl, I heard she walked into her engagement party with this tall, exotic, model-looking woman and said that she was Ahvi.”
My jaw hit the floor. I had heard a lot of juicy gossip over the years and had seen some unbelievable things, but nothing seemed to top this news. I couldn’t even find the words to respond.
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