Sloth (The Damning Book 4)

by Katie May

  could nick his skin, and relief washed over his face.

  Why did I let her leave, knowing her mental state? Why didn’t I stop her?

  Why didn’t I force the issue with bringing my mates along? Why didn’t I

  suggest she bring other humans with her?

  Why? Why? Why?

  “Fuck.” I thrust the tablet back into his chest and climbed off of him. He

  hurried to get to his own feet, his cheeks crimson and his eyes dancing with

  worry.

  And hope.

  It was nearly impossible for me to miss the tiny sliver of hope that

  materialized in his eyes, as if I were the answer to every prayer he’d ever had.

  I was sure he wouldn’t be looking at me with such reverence if he knew I

  sent his girlfriend away when she needed help.

  Fuck. The guilt felt like sticky tar that clung to my skin, hardening by the

  second, until no amount of scrubbing could remove it completely.

  “You’ll help me?” he asked softly, giving me doe eyes. He placed his

  hands together in the universal pleading pose, and fuck, I didn’t really have a

  choice, did I?

  “All right,” I agreed, albeit reluctantly. I still felt weak, though I knew

  that wouldn’t change until I had the cure. At the same time, I doubted I would

  get worse anytime soon either. There was a reason Paco was adamant I

  needed to get more of the poison in my bloodstream to die from it.

  So that meant I could go with this man to free his girlfriend and I

  probably wouldn’t die from the poison. Probably. Hopefully. Maybe. I was

  seventy percent positive that I wouldn’t kick the can early. Okay, make that

  sixty percent.

  “But if we’re doing this…?” I cocked an eyebrow, realizing I hadn’t

  gotten his name.

  “Toby,” he supplied, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

  I pursed my lips. “If we’re doing this, Toby, then we’re doing it my way.

  You’ll listen to me at all times, understood? I don’t want you playing hero

  and ending up dead.” I’d seen enough death in the last month to last a

  lifetime. I didn’t want another one on my conscience.

  “I promise,” he agreed quickly.

  “And we need to get my mates involved,” I finished firmly. He opened

  his mouth as if to protest, but whatever he saw in my eyes had him nodding,

  though begrudgingly.

  “All right,” he said simply. “If you think you can trust them.”

  “I do.” That wasn’t even a question.

  I could sneak off, free Natalia and her sister, and then face the

  consequences of my actions when I returned home. The old me might’ve

  done that, but the new me knew I needed to rely on and trust my mates if this

  unconventional relationship between us was ever going to work. I loved

  them, but more than that, I trusted them. They would stand by my side

  through any battle, any war, and all I needed to do was extend the invitation.

  That wasn’t to say I wasn’t scared shitless about what could potentially

  happen to them while on the battlefield, but I knew that it wasn’t my choice

  to keep them hidden away. They were grown men who could make that

  decision for themselves. We were a team, and I was determined more than

  ever to fight as one. Survive as one.

  And wasn’t that the whole point of…everything? Survival?

  As Toby went to gather supplies, I turned back to the van, unsurprised to

  see Ryland and Killian still fast asleep. The past few days had been a long

  and grueling, and I knew my mates were exhausted. They needed that sleep

  more than I did.

  What was a surprise, however, was the fact they’d reached for each other

  in their sleep and were now tangled together, Killian’s head on Ryland’s

  chest and my shadow’s arm wrapped around his middle. I bit my lip to stop

  the laughter that threatened to escape.

  “Kill. Ry,” I said, and Ryland sleepily began to kiss Killian’s forehead.

  “Hey, little dove,” he murmured, his voice drowsy with sleep.

  Killian mumbled something unintelligible, craning his neck back to seek

  out Ryland’s lips. His eyes were still shut as he murmured my name, their

  lips mere centimeters from touching…

  My laughter bubbled out, and their eyes snapped open immediately.

  For a moment, they simply stared at each other in horror, their faces so

  close, they could probably feel each other’s breath on their lips.

  And then Killian squealed like a girl, practically doing a backwards

  somersault to escape my shadow mate, and Ryland moved to a crouching

  position, his shadows tightening around his form.

  “Awww. You guys were cute cuddling together,” I teased, and Ryland’s

  ice-blue eyes flashed in my direction amidst the darkness of his shadows.

  “That was naughty, little dove. You deserve a spanking.”

  Heat flared in my stomach at his suggestive words, but I shoved the fire

  aside, dousing it with water.

  Not now, Z, I mentally chastised myself. You have people to save,

  nightmares to kill, butts to kick.

  “Spankings will have to wait,” I said lightly, ignoring the way both of

  their gazes flashed with banked fire at my words. I already knew Ryland had

  a kinky streak a mile long, but Killian’s had honestly surprised me. I didn’t

  even think he realized what he was doing the last time we engaged in sexy

  foreplay, but his incubus allure came out tenfold whenever we were together.

  “And why do these spankings have to wait?” Ryland questioned lazily,

  and a second later, I felt something slap my ass cheek. I gasped, my stomach

  muscles clenching as the shadows moved from my butt to my core, plucking

  at my clit. Arousal sparked inside of me, but I forced it away yet again to

  focus on the matter at hand.

  “Mission. Super—” The shadows pinched down on my clit, eliciting

  another gasp from my mouth. “—secret mission.”

  “A supersecret mission?” Killian quirked a red brow as excitement

  danced in his eyes. “Oh! Are we going after bad nightmares? Maybe I can

  finally use one of the catchphrases I came up with when I kill someone.”

  “You came up with a…?” I stared at him in amusement.

  “Pow! Wow! Stab!” Killian pantomimed stabbing someone in the

  stomach and then lowered his voice to a low, seductive murmur. “Would you

  like fries with that shake? ”

  A burst of laughter escaped me before I could contain it, and Ryland

  didn’t even bother to hide his.

  “That’s your murder catchphrase?” I wheezed out.

  Killian crossed his arms over his chest, appearing indignant, though his

  eyes flashed with amusement. Fuck, I loved that man. “What’s wrong with it?

  Would you prefer, Would you like butter with your toast? How about, This

  salad doesn’t come with any croutons, but I can grab you ranch dressing?”

  “Okay, fine!” I threw my hands up in the air in defeat. “You can use

  weird-ass food sayings whenever you stab someone. Happy?”

  But I had no fucking intention of ever letting Killian take a life. Yeah, not

  happening. I had enough blood on my hands for the both of us. He was my

  innocence, the one bright spot in a world full of darkness and pain. No one

  would take tha
t from him as long as I drew air in my lungs.

  The jovial atmosphere in the van diminished when I began telling them

  about Toby, Natalia, and Natalia’s sister. Both of their faces turned grave,

  chiseled from stone, and they didn’t speak right away when I finished.

  “This isn’t safe, Z,” Ryland warned me tersely. “Especially with the pois

  —”

  “I know,” I said, cutting him off. “But we need to do this, Ry. That

  woman came to me for help, and I turned her away.” That familiar, white-hot

  stab of guilt twisted up my insides. “And now she’s captured. Maybe even

  already dead. I need to do this.”

  “And we need to be with you,” Killian stated simply, already crawling

  out of the car. “I’ll grab Dair if you guys grab Jax and Bash.” He paused

  when he was halfway out the door, twisting his head over his shoulder to

  stare at me. A blush stained his cheeks as he ducked his head. “Th-th-th-

  thank you for trusting us. Thank you for letting us help you.”

  My heart swelled with love for this man, for all of my men. I wouldn’t

  have even been able to tell you when my feelings for them grew, when my

  mates went from infatuations to crushes to men vital to my very well-being.

  They were embedded in my soul now, a part of my genetic makeup, and I

  needed to tell them that. Soon.

  “We’re a team now,” I told Kill, shifting my gaze to include Ryland as

  well. “No more secrets.”

  “No more secrets,” the two of them agreed immediately.

  Nodding once, I crawled to the trunk in the back of the van that held our

  weapons. I began sifting through the collection present, grabbing a sword,

  two daggers, and an axe.

  We were really doing this—driving to an unfamiliar location, saving

  humans we didn’t know, and killing an unknown number of nightmares. All

  while I fought off the poison coursing through my bloodstream, weakening

  my body.

  And now for the famous last words…

  What could possibly go wrong?

  EIGHTEEN

  JAX

  A lot could go wrong with this mission.

  Even with my mind steadily sinking in and out of sanity, I

  knew that this trip to the brothel could end horribly for all of us.

  I moved towards where Z was loading up a limo Axel stole with Bash,

  trying to ignore the landscape constantly changing and morphing around me.

  Right now, the trees had been replaced by metal contraptions that rose from

  the ground. Hideous, distorted faces were shaped into the very top, where the

  boughs were supposed to be. The “tree” nearest to me displayed a young

  woman with her face twisted into perpetual agony, her lips opened in a silent

  scream and anguish visible in her metal eyes. The grass beneath my feet was

  red with blood, so red that I couldn’t see a sliver of green anywhere in the

  vicinity. When I looked up, the night sky was a mirage of disembodied limbs

  —a nose where the moon should be, hands and feet in place of stars, and

  carved up torsos everywhere else.

  I shook my head from side to side rapidly, struggling to orient myself to

  the here and now.

  I’m safe.

  I’m with my mate and my brothers. My mate…who loves me. Whom I

  love.

  I’m not dead.

  Memories of that pitch-black abyss bombarded me, but I shoved them

  away. I refused to even think about that brief, brief moment when death had

  claimed me. When death had taken me away from my brothers and my very

  reason for living. When the world had been nothing but a barren expanse of

  nothingness…

  The scenery changed around me in a bright flash of color. Now, instead

  of metal trees, hundreds of Sashas stood in the forest in lieu of them. Her hair

  fell around her face, and her eyes sparked with malice. Blood dripped,

  dripped, dripped down her cheeks, staining her white dress.

  “You did this to me.” Her voice reverberated all around me. I couldn’t

  escape it, couldn’t run away fast enough.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  Harsh, feminine laughter grated on my nerves, and I lifted my head back

  to see Aaliyah’s smirking face staring back at me.

  “Feed, Jaxon,” she purred, and I quickened my pace in Z’s direction.

  “Don’t you want to feed?”

  Now, hands were erupting from the ground, their fingers gnarled and

  bloody. I could see tendons and muscles as the zombie-like creatures

  attempted to pull themselves out of the dirt.

  “Doesn’t Z’s neck look so…delicious? Do you hear her pulse pounding?

  See the blood rushing?” I wanted to place my hands over my ears to tune her

  out, but I knew if I did that, Z would become suspicious. My sweet mate was

  always so perceptive.

  As if my thoughts had summoned her attention, Z glanced up from where

  she bent over a duffel bag with Bash and smiled sweetly. That smile lit me up

  from the inside, shooting through my bloodstream like erratic fireworks.

  And when I finally touched her arm, running my fingers across her silky

  smooth skin, the nightmares vanished and I was once more back in the front

  of Paco’s house with the humans.

  “Everything okay?” Z asked softly as the last of the fog cleared from my

  mind. I remembered where I was—at Paco’s house—and why I was there—

  to save Z from the poison. All of the other pieces steadily clicked into place,

  until I felt like I was taking control of my life for the first time ever.

  “Yes,” I replied, shocking myself with the sincerity of that.

  No more blood.

  No more darkness.

  Only light.

  A vampire could go insane if he didn’t drink any blood. On the opposite

  end of the spectrum, he could go crazy if he consumed too much of it. It was

  a fine line we had to balance, made even more precarious by our sin of

  gluttony.

  And then there was me—insane for no other reason than the fact that my

  brain had cracked. First because I didn’t consume blood, and then because I

  did.

  When would I ever feel whole again?

  “Who’s ready to kick some ass?” Axel materialized behind me and

  clapped a hand down on my shoulder. I flinched instinctively at the contact

  but forced myself to clear my expression when Z’s shrewd gaze whipped in

  my direction. Her eyes narrowed slightly, but I kept my face perfectly blank.

  “What’s the plan?” Bash loaded up a gun full of specialized mage bullets.

  Each one was able to do a completely different thing when they hit their

  target—the blue electrocuted them, the red lit them on fire, the green stopped

  their hearts, and the purple fried their brains. All effective tools for killing

  any nightmare. We were fortunate Paco had a surplus lying around in his

  shed, though Axel had to be wiener slapped to receive them.

  Strangely enough, I thought the ex-assassin actually enjoyed it.

  “I give Mary some sweet loving and allow her to kill people,” Axel

  answered sincerely, reaching behind his shoulder to caress the blade that sat

  there.

  Z gave him a long, long look, one that might’ve made me jealous if there

  hadn’t been a hint of annoya
nce in her eyes, before sighing and addressing us

  all.

  “We head in, kill the mages, head out. Simple.” She exchanged a wary

  look with Axel, one that had my hackles rising, and shoved a knife into her

  sheath. “Let’s go.”

  WE ARRIVED AT A LARGE MANSION FRAMED BY BIRCHES ON EITHER SIDE. THE

  paved pathway curled around a marble fountain, flashing lights illuminating

  the water in the darkness in shades of pink, red, purple, and green. One

  glance at the fountain confirmed it was spelled to do so, the familiar green

  glow most mages possessed surrounding it. We paused at the gate so Axel

  could speak to a guard, declaring he wanted to enter through the back so his

  wife wouldn’t get word of his infidelity, before we were led around the

  building towards the staff entrance, where there were no guards and only one

  rickety doorway.

  Nobody questioned the crazed shadow and the dark power he exuded.

  In the limo Axel had stolen for us, Toby stripped out of his shirt and

  waited obediently for Axel to secure a collar and leash around his neck. Fear

  flashed in the young human’s gaze, but he didn’t protest once, even when

  Axel tugged experimentally on the leash.

  It was decided that Axel would go in posing as a client looking for

  prostitutes. Toby would be his human slave. The rest of us were too

  recognizable, despite us being nightmares. We couldn’t afford to have our

  fathers discovering what we had been up to.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” Bash barked, his eyes widening in horror.

  My jaw went slack when I saw Z stripped down to her bra, the swells of her

  breasts visible over the fabric. When she began to tug down her pants, one of

  Ryland’s shadows wrapped around her wrist, stopping her.

  “What?” She whipped her head up to glare at us all.

  “W-wh-why are you stripping down?” Killian stuttered, a myriad of

  expressions flashing across his face. First, surprise, then lust when he took in

  her creamy smooth skin, and finally, anger and possessiveness.

  My own jealousy, an emotion I wasn’t entirely familiar with, sparked to

  life in my bloodstream. I couldn’t remember a time I had ever felt jealousy

  before, but just then, it was impossible to deny. I didn’t want others seeing

  what didn’t belong to them.

  “For fuck’s sake, Z!” Bash hissed through gritted teeth as she finally