Second Chance

by L. Divine

  “Do you like video games?” he asks, walking over to the couch and picking up the controller to his Xbox.

  “Not really. What’s out here?” I ask, walking toward a set of French double doors, not yet done with my inspection.

  “Oh, that’s just the balcony,” he responds modestly. I open the doors and see the most stunning bonsai trees.

  “Is clipping bonsai a hobby of yours?” I ask, really impressed by his many hidden talents.

  “No. All Mom. She has them all over the house,” he says. “I help her maintain them, but that’s it. I just like sitting out there for the view,” he says, meaning the ocean and all the other houses on this side of the hill.

  “It’s beautiful. You’re really lucky,” I say, more than a little envious.

  “Not as beautiful as you are to me. I mean that, Jayd,” he says putting his arms around my waste. He leans down and kisses me softly at first, then very passionately, much more intense than our first encounter. I respond, matching his every move, not letting him get away from me. Unlike KJ, I don’t feel like he’s attacking me with his tongue. This kind of intensity I can deal with. After what feels like an eternity of making out, we decide to come up for air to finish our dinner, which is cold by now, but we still devour it quickly. Kissing can work up an appetite.

  “So, Jeremy, how long do you usually wait before having sex with a girl,” I say in between bites.

  “Where did that come from?” he asks, almost spitting out his food. I grab his napkin from the table and wipe his chin.

  “All the kissing got me to thinking, that’s all.”

  “Well, it depends on the girl. The ball’s always in her court as far as I’m concerned,” he says. “Women are in control of sex, and it’s better that way.”

  “Okay, you know you’re unusual, right? Most dudes want the cookies when, how, and where they want it,” I say, wishing I’d brought my drink upstairs.

  “It’s been my experience that sex is more enjoyable when women are in control,” he says with a sly smile I’ve never seen before. I may be in for more than I know with him. “But, we have plenty of time to talk about sex,” Jeremy says, setting his empty plate back on the table and reclining back into the couch, watching me finish my food. After we finish eating, we decide to see what the folks downstairs are doing.

  “Where’d you guys disappear to?” Michael asks from his comfy spot on the living room sofa.

  “I was just showing Jayd around upstairs,” he says, wiping the rest of my MAC Lipglass from his bottom lip while I place the empty plates on the dining room table.

  “Yeah, whatever,” he says to Jeremy. “Mom was asking for you, Jayd. She wants to show you the photo albums.”

  “Oh, she’s in a good mood if she’s breaking those out. You usually don’t get to see her boys in diapers until the third or fourth date,” Christi says, almost nostalgically and a little bitterly too. “You’re as good as in now,” she adds, taking another sip of champagne. She looks different now, somehow more unhappy or pissed or something.

  “Why don’t we skip the torture and take a drive. I want to show you more of P.V. before you turn back into a pumpkin,” he says. I’m with him. The less time spent with his mom, the better. Something about her—I can’t put my finger on it—creeps me out.

  “You can’t just leave. Mom will have a fit, and we’ll have to take the brunt of it,” Justin says, coming in from the game room. He and Tammy are shooting pool while his dad watches television on the couch next to the pool table. I would love to see the rest of the house, but maybe when no one’s home.

  “You barely ate,” Gary calls out.

  “Tell Mom I had to get Jayd home before it gets too late.”

  “Yeah, I have to get up early and go to work,” I offer, hoping to ease the tension in the room.

  “You should really say bye before you go,” Christi says. Now she’s smiling like she’s enjoying something.

  “Who knows where Mom went off to. She could be in the cellar looking for another case of champagne, and that could take all night,” Jeremy says, already heading for the door. “We’re out.”

  “I’m following you,” I say, taking his hand as he leads me out the front door and back down the driveway, toward the car. “Why were you in such a rush to get out of there,” I ask as we hurry down the hill.

  “I’m just trying to save you, shorty,” he says in the worst Southern accent I’ve ever heard.

  “Save me from what,” I ask as he opens the passenger door for me. When he walks around to the driver’s side, I reach over to unlock his door.

  “Thanks, Lady J,” he says, starting the engine.

  “You didn’t answer my question,” I insist. It’s one thing for his mom to creep me out. But for him to bolt like that when they said she was looking for me is another thing entirely.

  “Look, my mom can be pretty protective when it comes to us. She likes to intimidate the women in our lives, and it usually starts with the after dinner baby pics,” he says, backing out of the driveway. As we pull away from the house, I see a silhouette of a woman seated on the back porch, just off the driveway. It’s Julie, and she’s been sitting there the whole time, watching us as we left her house. What a strange woman. “You’re not mad, are you?” Jeremy asks. I don’t think he noticed his mother at all.

  “No. I just didn’t want to be rude.”

  “We weren’t the rude ones. Besides, it’s supposed to be a celebration. And, I would much rather celebrate alone with you than in there with them,” he says, putting his hand in its customary place on my thigh as we drive back down the hill. “Now we can take our time driving and just chill and enjoy the view.” And the view, unlike life, is serene and drama free. It’s back to work in the morning and then to my Dad’s in the afternoon. So, he’s right. We should just enjoy each other for as long as we can.

  11

  Smokin’

  “He’s like the lighter to my cigarette (watch me smoke).”

  —ASHANTI

  Even though the view is perfect, I can’t help thinking about what just went down. I met Jeremy’s family for the first time, and he wanted to run. What the hell was that? And why is each of his brothers with a Black girl? I want to take this time alone to talk to him about what Mrs. Bennett said, but I don’t want to ruin our vibe. Well, there’s really no other way to bring it up. Honest and direct usually works for me.

  “Jeremy, do you like me because I’m me or because I’m Black?” I ask.

  “What?” Jeremy asks as he makes a left onto Pacific Coast Highway instead of the right I was anticipating, which would have led us back toward Inglewood.

  “Where are we going?” I ask.

  “First tell me why you asked me that,” he says, turning down the radio to hear my answer completely.

  “It’s come to my attention that you have a habit of dating girls with brown complexions,” I say, trying to keep it light, yet still get my point across. I don’t want to tell him Mrs. Bennett’s the one who told me. But I need to know the truth.

  “Well, if I do have a thing for Black girls, is that a problem?” It’s also come to my attention that Jeremy has a habit of not answering my questions directly. His evasive behavior annoys me a little. But, it’s also part of what attracts me to him.

  “Yes, it is, because that means you don’t really like me for just being me. What if I looked at you and first liked you because you’re White, then because you’re fine. Wouldn’t that bother you too?”

  “So you think I’m fine,” he says as he turns down a small street with dilapidated houses and overgrown lawns. This must be the White ghetto. I had no idea it existed so close to the beach.

  “Just answer the damn question,” I say, playfully smacking him on the arm. “And, where are we going?”

  “We’re going to meet up with Chance at Leslie’s house. I told him I’d stop by and meet his new girl if I could. I hope you don’t mind. They’ll help us celebrate my victory bette
r than my family did.” I’ve heard Alia talk about Leslie’s family, and I must say I’ve never actually wanted to go to her house. Chance and Leslie’s older sister, Carly, used to date. But when Carly got with this pipsqueak dude, Alec, Chance decided to put aside his hurt ego and maintain their friendship. That’s just the kind of guy he is. Leslie’s house has become the other Drama Club hangout, but for the talented ones, not the stars who hang at Matt’s crib; they wouldn’t be caught dead on this side of town.

  “Yes, Jayd, I think Black women are beautiful. I also think a lot of other women are beautiful too. But it’s more than outside appearances with me. I like girls who are confident and sure of themselves. And, if they happen to be gorgeous, well, that’s just an added incentive for me to go for it,” he says, parking in front of what must be Leslie’s house. It’s completely quiet, and there are no porch lights, making me feel even more apprehensive about going inside. “Now answer my question. Why did you ask?”

  “Like I said, it has come to my attention that you may have jungle fever, and I just want to be clear that I don’t.” Before we can finish our conversation, the front door to Leslie’s house opens, letting out a low light. I can see people inside lying on the floor and Chance coming out with some girl I don’t recognize. “Who’s that with Chance?” I ask as Jeremy gets out the car and walks around to open my door.

  “Oh, who knows? He’s always picking up strays,” Jeremy says. I hate to admit it, but Chance does have a thing for strung-out White girls. I don’t know what it is, but the more stupid, addicted, or ugly they are, the more he loves them. “Is she who I should be dating instead of you?” he asks as we walk up the driveway toward the porch.

  “No, and that wasn’t my point. I don’t want to be your flavor for the month,” I say, instantly feeling vulnerable. Jeremy stops walking to look down at me.

  “Jayd, seriously. Where is this coming from? Did my mom say something to you?”

  “No, she didn’t. Actually, when I went to meet you at Mrs. Bennett’s class on Thursday she and I had a little confrontation.”

  “So that’s why you were upset. Why didn’t you tell me then?” he asks, looking sincere.

  “I didn’t want you to worry about her bullshit with all of yours so fresh. Besides, I’m a big girl.”

  “I know you’re a big girl, but Mrs. Bennett’s even bigger and anything that hurts you hurts me, too,” he says, looking wounded.

  “So, now you’re my bodyguard?” I ask, grinning at his cute self.

  “Of course I am,” he says, smiling back at me. I hope he keeps that smile when I tell him my decision.

  “Well, I’m glad you feel that way, because I’ve decided to file a grievance against her.”

  “Why? You’ll get nothing out of it except more grief from her. I see the way she treats students in her class who’ve gone up against her, and it ain’t pretty.”

  “But that’s exactly why I want to do it. She can’t keep getting away with it.”

  “Whatever you want to do is up to you. I just think you’re wasting your time and energy.” Why is he so mellow about everything? Does he ever get pissed off? If he’s like this all the time, I don’t know how we’ll ever survive. I need a little spark in my man.

  “Hey, dude. I thought you told me you couldn’t make it because you had a big family dinner or some shit to attend,” Chance says, barely able to hold up his date, who must be drunk because she looks like she’s about to pass out. “Hey, Jayd.”

  “Hey, Chance,” I respond, leading the way up the porch with Jeremy right behind me. “Who’s your date?” I ask, knowing she doesn’t go to South Bay. In fact, she looks too old to be in high school.

  “Oh, this is Jessie. She lives around the corner. Jessie, these are my friends, Jeremy and Jayd.” She looks up at us through an alcohol haze and starts to speak, but is stopped by her urge to vomit.

  “I think I’m going to be sick,” Jessie says, running from the porch onto the front yard. Chance runs after her and holds her hair, putting her cigarette in his mouth, next to his own. What he sees in this girl, I just don’t get. He’s so sweet and generous. I know he could have any girl he set his mind on. Well, except for Nellie, who just ain’t feeling him at all.

  When we walk into the dimly lit house, it looks as if squatters live here. There’s no furniture except for a card table and four chairs, where Leslie, Alia, Alec, and Carly are seated. People are passed out on the living room floor, in the hallway, and sitting in the entryway to what must be the kitchen. And, everyone’s smoking something. I can barely breathe.

  “Jayd, what are you doing here?” Alia asks. She’s as surprised to see me as I am to be here.

  “We came to check Chance out,” I answer, grabbing Jeremy’s hand before walking over to give her a hug. I’ll be damned if I’m going up in here by myself. When I reach the table and bend down to give her a hug, I notice some sort of board on the table. It looks like a game, but I’ve never seen it before.

  “Hey, guys,” Jeremy says, nonchalantly greeting everyone at the table and ignoring the passed-out folks all around us.

  “Hey, Jeremy,” Carly says, a little too friendly for my taste. “So, are you two dating now?” she asks, turning her attention away from him and back to the game on the table. Alec hasn’t looked up from the board since we walked over, and Leslie seems just as entranced.

  “Yes, we are,” Jeremy answers before turning around to look through the still open front door for Chance’s return. If Chance weren’t here, I doubt Jeremy would’ve come. This ain’t his crowd at all. Lighting another cigarette, Carly continues her cross-examination.

  “So, Jayd, how does it feel to date South Bay High’s most popular dude?” she says, slurring her speech a bit. “Let’s see, first there was Dalia, the Indian girl, then there was Trisha, the Black-and-White mixed one. Then there was—” Before she can continue her embarrassing tirade, Jeremy shuts her up.

  “All right, Carly, that’s enough. Everyone here knows just how ugly you can get. No need to remind us.”

  “Oh, come on, J. You know I’m just messing with you,” she says, offering Alec a hit from her Marlboro Red before turning to Jeremy and offering him a cigarette from her pack.

  “No, thank you. I stopped smoking a while back.” I didn’t know he smoked. I despise cigarettes. My dad and his entire family smoke, and it drives me crazy, especially the way the smoke sticks to my hair.

  “Oh, what a shame. It was so sexy on you,” she says, flirting with Jeremy right in front of her man and me. I should say something to this broad, but it doesn’t seem like I need to. Jeremy’s got this heffa on red alert.

  “What’s wrong with you, Carly? You used to care a little about yourself. Now you just seem like you gave up.”

  “You never cared about the way I look,” Carly says, taking yet another cigarette out of her pack and lighting it. “I’m not dark enough for your taste.” Oh, hell no, this broad didn’t just say what I think she said. Does everyone know Jeremy has a taste for a darker shade of brown?

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I ask Carly, loud enough to wake some of the people passed out on the floor.

  “Don’t let her get to you, Jayd. She’s just a bitter bitch. And jealous too. Did I mention that?” Jeremy says, reverting to his smart-ass mode, lightening the mood a little. But I’m not done. These White folks around here think they can say whatever they want and get away with it. Well, not in front of me. I can practice for my confrontation with Mrs. Bennett on this girl.

  “No, Jeremy. I really want to hear what she meant by that little twisted comment. Because personally, I don’t think you not liking her has a damned thing to do with her complexion,” I say, looking Carly up and down. Alec, Alia, and Leslie look from me to Carly, ready for the blows to come. Carly and I are both known for our feisty tempers. Carly had her share of fights as a senior last year.

  “Seems like you picked a lively one this time,” Carly says to Jeremy, convenien
tly dodging an altercation with me.

  “Do you want to play?” Alia asks me, ignoring the tension. “We just started.”

  I really don’t want to fight with Carly, so I take Alia’s out. “What are you playing?” I ask. I’m actually interested in this game. It doesn’t look like anything I’ve ever played before.

  “It’s a Ouija board. My mom bought it for me. I’ve wanted one forever,” Leslie says without looking up from the board. The only thing I know about these boards is that they’re more than a game. Mama told me to beware of dark magic, especially where White folks are concerned. Jeremy looks at me and, noticing my obvious discomfort, answers for me.

  “Jayd, we should go and make sure Chance and his date are cool.”

  “Okay. I guess I’ll have to catch you next time, Alia. Thanks anyway,” I say, allowing Jeremy to pull me away from the table. “What the hell was that?” I ask when we get outside.

  “That’s the way they get down. See why I stick to my beach crew? They may be a little out of it, but I don’t have to worry about this kind of shit with them. I wish Chance would stop hanging out with these losers.”

  “Now, this is new. You being judgmental,” I say, playfully caressing the back of his hand with my fingertips. His skin is smooth, and his hand feels good in mine.

  “Not judgmental, just stating the facts.”

  “Hey, Jeremy. Got a cigarette, man? I’m all out,” Chance says as he and Jessie share the last drag on hers.

  “Nah, man. I quit,” Jeremy says.

  “I didn’t know you smoked.” I say. “But, according to Carly, there’s a lot I don’t know about you,” I say with a little salt. I don’t want to give Carly the satisfaction of seeing me upset with Jeremy, but I have to let him know I heard everything that broad said.

  “Jayd, don’t let her get to you. There’s nothing good that comes out of her mouth, ever,” he says, looking me in the eye. “Yes, I have dated a few girls in my past and yes, most of them weren’t White. And yes, I used to smoke cigarettes,” he says, pleading with his eyes for me to drop my attitude. His smoking doesn’t surprise me. Most of the folks around here do. Even Mickey takes a hit every now and then. And, when Misty and I hung out she would steal her mother’s cigarettes and smoke them.