Second Chance

by L. Divine

  The bus ride was uneventful and unusually quiet this morning. Not too many extra stops and there weren’t too many people, just enough to make it interesting, but not annoying. And, for the first time this school year, the bus driver smiled at me and said good morning. Usually, he doesn’t even look my direction.

  With all of this newfound peace on my morning ride, I had some time to think about my options. I’m wrong every time I judge a guy, and I always end up getting hurt. What if Jeremy’s an undercover player and KJ can change? I know. It’s a twisted thought given KJ’s patterns of behavior, but anything’s possible. I mean, I don’t really know Jeremy that well, and if my friends are tripping off me being with him, maybe they know more than I do. I’ll try to talk to Nellie at break and get her honest and unbiased opinion, which may be impossible. But, she’s my girl, and I’m willing to listen to her.

  Unfortunately, South Bay High isn’t as peaceful as the Metro line. As soon as I step foot on campus, I hear the rumors Misty has started, based off nothing but made-up bullshit in her twisted little world. Apparently, I wouldn’t give it up to KJ because I’m too uptight, but Jeremy’s just the one to loosen me up, or that’s what Mickey told me when I got to my locker this morning. Now it’s break, and my girls and I need to have a meeting. How am I supposed to be sweet with all this going on? As I walk toward the quad, I stop at the vending machines to get some Fritos where Misty and Shae are also hangin’ this morning.

  “So Jayd and that White boy done it, huh, Misty?” Shae says, passing her a water bottle from the vending machine. They act like I’m not standing right here. Shae’s never liked me, but she’s usually smart enough to stay out of Misty’s mix. But, this is her chance to prove I’m the sell-out she thought I was when I first got to South Bay High.

  “I don’t know. She’s kinda uptight about giving up the cookies. Like she’s the damn Queen of Sheba or somebody,” Misty says, looking to make sure I’m within earshot. What a broad.

  “Well, everybody ain’t gone wait on her ass, especially not no White boy,” Shae says, walking toward South Central.

  “Yeah, and not even the Black one’s still on her jock. He’s slowly fading from her wait list too,” Misty says, following Shae. I should go over there and set them both straight. But for what? Them heffas ain’t got nothing on me.

  “Hey, Jayd. Did you get me some chips?” Nellie asks, looking around the quad to see if Byron’s outside yet. She’s been jocking him on the low ever since his party. It’s only break and it’s already ninety degrees by the beach. By lunch, it’ll be hot as hell out here.

  “Not yet. Where’s Mickey? She’s usually not late for the morning news,” I say, looking for her around the quad. All I see is KJ in the distance, walking this way.

  “She had to stay after class and finish last night’s homework. That girl needs to get her priorities straight or she’ll find herself back in the eleventh grade next year.”

  “Why she didn’t finish it last night? It ain’t like she got to go to work or nothing.”

  “No, but she does have to go to her man’s and check in, which could take all night, knowing them.”

  “W. T. M. I., Nellie. Way too much info.”

  “Hey, Jayd, Nellie,” KJ says as he walks up to us, blocking my clear view of the ocean.

  “Hey, KJ. Where’s your entourage?” Nellie asks while waiting for the vending machine to release her chips.

  “Very funny, Nellie. Jayd, can I talk to you for a minute?” KJ asks with that charming smile of his.

  “No,” I say flatly. The last time this brotha talked to me, I wound up falling for his bullshit again and that ain’t happening. But, I will try and maintain my sweetness.

  “Jayd, we really need to talk. Misty’s out to get you because she thinks you’re playing me, and you know how she is.” Is he actually defending her? Has he lost his mind? “And, I don’t want you to think I’ll be the same if we get back together, ’cause I won’t,” KJ says, taking my hand and looking into my eyes. “I love you, Jayd. I meant it when I first said it, and I mean it now. I won’t put any pressure on you for sex, and you’ll be my only girl, for as long as you want to be.” Damn, this brotha’s good.

  “KJ, you think Jayd’s just sitting around waiting for you to apologize?” Nellie says, snapping me back into reality.

  “Yeah,” I say, trying to ignore the fact he’s got me remembering how good his arms feel. “It’s not that easy, KJ. Remember, we’ve already been down this road.”

  “Don’t lie, Jayd. You know you miss us,” he says, as full of himself as ever before. “And I miss us too. I miss picking you up from work. I miss seeing Mama and talking to your uncle without it being uncomfortable, like I’m not supposed to be there when we both know I am.” As KJ leans in to kiss me, I step back, letting him fall forward, almost losing his footing.

  “Damn, KJ. You got played,” Nellie says loud enough for anyone within earshot to hear. Luckily his boys haven’t arrived yet. KJ doesn’t look amused.

  “What the hell, KJ? I know you know I’m dating Jeremy. So why would you try to kiss me, especially in front of everyone, like we’re still together,” I yell at him, pissed that I’m secretly flattered by his gesture.

  “I just got caught up, that’s all. You could’ve let me sneak one in, though. No girl’s ever complained about my kisses,” he says, licking his lips like he’s L.L. Cool J.

  “Well, find yourself someone else to get caught up with. Nellie, let’s go find Mickey,” I say, grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the vending machines and KJ. That’s when I notice Misty, Shae, and the rest of the folks hangin’ in South Central watching the whole scene. Poor KJ. I know his rep is taking a blow, but he needs to give it up. I’m just not interested in getting hurt by him again.

  “This ain’t over, Jayd. We deserve another shot at us. I’m calling you after school, so you better answer,” he says, flipping open his cell and pressing send. “There’s Luda, right on time,” he says, referring to my ring tone. “So, don’t act like you don’t hear the phone when I call you later. We’ll work on resetting my personal ring tone later. I’m insulted to ring with the masses.” He must be the cockiest dude I’ve ever met.

  “Whatever, KJ,” I say, leading Nellie away from KJ and the spectators. “I’m so sick of this. When’s he going to give up?” I ask, not really expecting an answer.

  “When you give it up,” Nellie says, smacking on her Nacho Cheese Doritos. “Men love that shit,” she says in between bites.

  “What shit are you referring to,” I ask, wondering where Jeremy is. I haven’t seen him all morning. I wonder if word travels as fast on the White side of campus as it does over here.

  “The hard-to-get shit. Like Beyonce says: ‘I know you want to taste it, but I’m gone make you chase it,’” Nellie says, popping her booty like Beyonce does in her video.

  “You’re so silly.” I giggle, pushing her in the arm. “And, I’m not playing. KJ’s a little too much for me,” I say, telling Nellie the truth.

  “He wasn’t a few weeks ago,” she says, stopping in front of Mickey’s class and turning to look me in the eye. “Look, Jayd. Now, you know I’m not rooting for either one of these dudes. But, KJ’s definitely the better of the two, in my opinion. I think you should definitely make him sweat for the way he treated you,” she says, pausing her lecture to peek her head through the classroom door, looking for Mickey. She nods her head at Mickey, I assume, and continues.

  “You have to give it to KJ. He’s really humbled himself for you,” Nellie says, smacking on her Doritos.

  “What?” I say, a little louder than I meant to. But that’s a shocking statement coming from her. “Humbled himself how, Nellie?” I ask with my hand on my hip, in full Foxy Brown mode.

  “When have you ever seen KJ, or any brotha, chase after a girl as hard as KJ’s chasing after you? Doesn’t that warrant some sort of forgiveness, Jayd?” I hate to admit it, but she has a good point. But still, I’m n
ot backing down.

  “Forgiveness, yes. Forgetting and making up, no. I’m not looking backwards,” I say, trying to fool myself.

  “I’m not saying you should look backwards. I’m just saying you should look at KJ with fresh eyes and be a little nicer to him. He’s not such a bad person or you would’ve never dated him in the first place, right?” Damn, why does she always have to make such good points?

  “You just don’t want me dating Jeremy,” I say, knowing that’s only half true.

  “It’s true, I don’t like Jeremy or his little crew. They’re not good enough for us, girl,” she says just as the bell signaling the end of break rings. At least I know I’ll see Jeremy in third period. “When KJ calls this afternoon, pick up the phone,” she says, poking her head back through the door to see if Mickey’s done yet.

  “I’ll think about it,” I say, remembering my oath to be sweeter. I just pray my being nicer to KJ doesn’t mess up my chance with Jeremy. Truth be told, I would consider giving KJ a second chance if I didn’t like Jeremy so much from the start. Yeah, KJ’s cool and all. But, Jeremy’s where it’s at for me now, even if I do miss the passion KJ and I shared. Maybe if I talk to KJ and let him see for himself why we can’t be together, he’ll back off on his own and leave me and Jeremy to ourselves, without his ego being crushed in front of everyone. Okay, I’ll talk to him after school. But after Jeremy takes me home. Any time we get to spend alone is precious.

  When I get out of class, everyone’s rushing as usual to catch a ride or a wave, depending on their priorities. I’m heading to my locker to meet Jeremy when I run into Misty leaving the main office.

  “Hey, Jayd. Waiting for the White boy, as usual, huh, girl?” she says, switching her wide hips as she walks by.

  “Watch it with those things, girl. They should be registered as lethal weapons,” I retort. Actually, her curves are quite flattering. When we were girls, we used to tease each other all the time. But now, I’m sure she took that little joke personally, as I did hers.

  “We’ll see if KJ thinks so,” she says, putting her hands on her hips and turning toward me, ready for a confrontation.

  “Is there something you want to say to me, Misty?” I say, returning the pose, less dramatically because my hips aren’t as powerful as hers. But, my stare is just as penetrating and gets my point across exactly.

  “Are you really that naïve, Jayd?” she says, like she’s been dying to ask me this for a while now. “KJ’s obviously sprung over your stupid ass, but you could care less,” she says, shifting her weight from one side to the other. “And, that trifling-ass little White boy you chose to date instead of him is just insulting to us all.”

  “I’m sorry, but what business is this of yours?” I ask with much attitude.

  “When you hurt someone in my crew, you hurt me. And right now, you’re humiliating the sweetest brotha at South Bay High for some White guy who smokes weed and surfs all damn day. I knew you weren’t down, but I never pegged you as a sell-out, Jayd,” she says, sounding sincere.

  “Misty, the last person I’d ever take advice from on anything is you. And, as far as KJ’s concerned, I know you’re just jealous because you want him for yourself and he still wants me,” I say, elevating my already loud voice. “I’m sick of everyone having an opinion on my love life.”

  “Oh, so you do have a love life now. I knew you’d give it up to him. What, Jayd, afraid you can’t handle a brotha?” she says.

  “Unlike you, Misty, for me to get what I want from a dude, I don’t have to give up anything in return.” Just as I shut her up and give all the nosy-ass people listening something to chew on, my cell rings. It’s KJ of course.

  “Well, aren’t you going to answer it,” Misty asks, waiting for me to pick up the phone. I wonder if she and KJ planned this little scene. I’m not going to get hyped. I’m staying cool and chilling with my baby. Nothing’s going to distract me from our plans today. Not Misty and not KJ. He’ll just have to wait until I call him back. And Misty can do whatever she wants. I’m through with her for today. I see my man coming now.

  “As pleasant as this little exchange has been, I’ve got better things to do,” I say, leaving Misty standing in the middle of the hall with her hands still on her hips, while I walk to meet my man. He’s just what I need right now—some peace.

  16

  Salt In My Game

  “Explorer like Dora these swipers can’t swipe me/My whole aura’s so mean in my white tee.”

  —LUDACRIS

  Ever since Jeremy and I started hanging out, my whole vibe has become chill. I used to be so concerned with being stylish like my girls. Now I want to be stylish, yet more laid back, like my new man.

  I like my new style. After school, Jeremy and I decide to hang at the Galleria. While walking hand in hand through the mall, I spot this cute white tank top with yellow rhinestones with the Bebe logo across the front. I love Bebe, but I can’t afford it, and from what I know they don’t have too many sales.

  For whatever reason, Jeremy wants to go to Bebe, because if it were up to me, I would’ve just kept walking by on our way to the escalator, up to the food court.

  “Do you like these shoes,” Jeremy asks, stopping in front of the store window.

  “Those little yellow flip-flops?” I ask, pointing to the cutest sandals I’ve ever seen.

  “Yeah, I think those would look good on your feet,” he says, guiding me into the store, past the long sales counter and toward the back, where the lush couches and dressing rooms are. It’s so big in here, I could get lost inside.

  “Jeremy, I work too hard for my money to spend it all in this store.”

  “I didn’t ask you all that, Lady Jayd,” he says, taking the pretty slipper off the display and leading me to the seating area, where a saleslady is waiting and ready to please.

  “Size eight, right?” she says, retrieving the shoe from Jeremy’s hand before we have a chance to ask. Damn, she’s good. When she returns, Jeremy takes off my out-of-season Jordans and slips the very pretty and dainty sandals onto my ashy feet. Damn, these shoes feel like butter.

  “Jeremy, why are you teasing me?” I say, posing in the mirror.

  “Oh, those look really nice on your feet,” the saleslady says. “Have you seen the tee to match?” she asks, taking a white tank off the rack and putting it against my chest so I can see my reflection.

  “Oh, that’s cute. And I love how the yellow rhinestones shine on both the shoes and the tank,” I say, feeling as pretty as a princess.

  “You’ve got to get them both. They go so well with your complexion,” she says, smiling at my reflection in the mirror.

  “Oh, I wish I could. But the shoes alone are one paycheck for me,” I respond, feeling a little less pretty already. Jeremy momentarily disappears into the vast store and leaves me to dream about being able to afford a $60 tank top and $120 pair of sandals.

  “Would you like to wear them out or should I put them in a bag for you?” another saleslady asks as I reach down to slip the sandals off my feet. Jeremy walks up behind me, puts his arms around my waist, and kisses my neck.

  “Happy three-week anniversary, baby.” He then pulls out a tiny blue box from Tiffany’s, and my mouth drops open. No one has ever bought me something so expensive before. And Jeremy’s not even my boyfriend yet.

  “I’ve never heard of a three-week anniversary before,” I say, still shocked.

  “It’s been three weeks since you got kicked out of government class and I started to fall for your sassy ass.”

  “Here’s your receipt, Mr. Weiner,” my original saleslady says to Jeremy. She then takes my new tank and old shoes to the counter to wrap up. It’s obvious the sandals aren’t coming off my feet.

  “Jeremy, I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything. Just get used to it. Now, please open your gift.”

  I carefully unwrap the pretty blue box to find a perfect gold bangle inside, with the
letter “J” engraved in the center. It’s the most beautiful piece of jewelry anyone has ever given me.

  “Damn, baby,” I say for lack of a better response.

  “Do you like it?” he asks nervously. His arms are still around my waist. I turn around and give him the biggest kiss ever.

  “I love it. It’s gorgeous. Thank you,” I say, kissing him again. The salespeople clap as we walk to the counter to get my shopping bag, before heading up to the food court. “But, Jeremy, it’s too soon for all of this,” I say.

  “Why would you say that?” he asks, looking puzzled. “I bought it to show you how much I appreciate you and your feet,” he says, smiling and making me laugh.

  “These sandals are cute,” I say, eyeing them as we glide up the escalator.

  “And so are you. So, why shouldn’t you have something to compliment your beautiful features? Why aren’t you worth it?” he asks, really hitting home. Why don’t I think I’m worth a rich guy buying me some shoes at a price that would make even my mom say I’ve hit the jackpot?

  “It’s not right. We’re not even officially a couple yet,” I say, still feeling guilty. Slowly, though, these sandals are molding to my feet, making me a little more accepting of the idea.

  “Jayd, I don’t only buy things for my girlfriends. Friends are worthy of shiny things too, don’t you think?” As we approach Mrs. Fields’ for some oatmeal raisin cookies, he takes me by the hand and pulls me in close to him, forcing me to look up into his blue eyes. “But, if you were my girlfriend, there’d be no holds barred on me spoiling you.” He bends down and kisses my mouth, allowing me to return his kiss at my own pace.

  “Oh, he can bust the same move and it’s all right. But when I tried it earlier, you left me hangin’,” KJ says from out of nowhere. Where the hell did he come from?