Breadfruit
Page 26
Rita kisses the kids and messes up their hair.
“Here.” She gives them a bag each. “Just a little something Auntie Rita got for you lot.”
Then Rita goes on about how the kids have grown since she saw them last. She compliments Leilani on her shining black hair, Tamatoa on his strong muscles, and Moana on his beautiful green eyes. She teases Leilani for having a secret boyfriend and the boys for having a secret girlfriend.
And all the kids care about is what’s inside their bag. Auntie Rita always brings them something to eat.
“All right, you lot.” Rita dismisses the children with a wave. “Go and eat your ice cream before it melts. There’s yogurt too, and Twisties.”
The kids are gone in a flash.
Materena and Rita go into the kitchen. Rita plonks the bag of goodies for her and Materena to eat on the kitchen table, and she looks rather surprised to see a freezer in Materena’s kitchen, squeezed between the kitchen table and the pantry.
“You bought a freezer?” she asks.
“Sit down, Cousin,” Materena replies. “I’ll tell you the story.”
But first Rita has to lift the lid of the freezer to see what’s inside. “There’s nothing inside the freezer.”
“Of course there’s nothing inside,” Materena says. “The freezer isn’t plugged in. Did you feel the cold when you lifted the lid?”
Rita sees that the electrical cord isn’t plugged in. “You don’t want the freezer plugged in?”
“Just sit down, Cousin, and I’ll tell you the story.”
Rita sits down and takes a box of crackers and some cheese out of the plastic bag. She has also brought peanuts, chips, and a bottle of Coke. “I didn’t have lunch,” she explains. “Come on, sit down and let’s get eating.”
Materena digs into the expensive cheese and begins her story about the freezer. “Last week, Pito told me that he’d bought something for me. Something big, and he said that I was going to like it. Well, I thought he’d bought me a wardrobe . . .”
“Why did you think that?” Rita asks.
“Because the week before last week,” Materena explains, “I told Pito that I wouldn’t mind a new wardrobe… for the linen and the quilts. At the moment, they’re packed in cardboard boxes and I’m a bit fiu of those boxes in the bedroom.”
“Oui, okay, continue the story.”
“Oui, so when Pito told me that he’d bought something for me and that it was big, I immediately thought he was talking about my wardrobe. I tried to get him to give me a hint, but Pito wanted me to be surprised. ‘Your eyes are going to pop out’—that is what Pito said to me.”
Rita looks at the freezer and raises her penciled eyebrows.
“I asked Pito how he paid for that big surprise,” Materena goes on, “and he said, ‘Don’t worry about it. It’s all been arranged.’ I tell you, Cousin, my eyes did pop out of my head when the delivery people delivered me that freezer. I was so shocked.”
“Why, because it was so big?” Rita asks.
“Non, Cousin, I wasn’t shocked by the size of the freezer. I was shocked by the freezer, full stop. Think a bit. You get a freezer if you eat a lot of meat, but we don’t eat a lot of meat here, we eat a lot of corned beef.”
Rita nods. She knows all about Materena’s financial situation. Corned beef is cheap.
“I was going to tell Pito to take that freezer back,” Materena goes on. “But when he came home and said to me, ‘So, Materena, you’re happy with that freezer I bought for you?’ I said yes. I couldn’t say the truth. Then Pito told me that the freezer used to belong to a colleague and he got it for cheap. Ten thousand francs, to be paid little by little.”
“Ah oui,” Rita says. “Ten thousand francs for a freezer is really cheap. Pito got a bargain.”
“I don’t think ten thousand francs for a freezer that doesn’t work is cheap. I think it’s a rip-off,” says Materena, but she’s smiling.
“Ah, it doesn’t work?”
“Non. The freezer broke down after two days.”
“Two days!” Rita almost chokes on her peanuts.
“Oui, Cousin. Two days.”
“Well, can’t you just get it repaired?” asks Rita.
“Eh, we got a freezer repairman to come and look at the freezer, and you know what he said?”
Before Rita has a chance to guess, Materena reveals that the freezer man said, “Take that heap of shit to the dump.”
“Non, Cousin.” Rita is sad for Materena.
“Oui, Cousin. That is what the freezer repairman said to us. ‘Take that heap of shit to the dump.’” Materena gives the freezer a dirty look.
“And did Pito get his money back? Whatever he’d already paid to his colleague? How much did he pay?”
“Two thousand francs.”
“And did Pito get the two thousand francs back?”
The conversation is interrupted.
Moana is in the kitchen. He jumps inside the freezer, and before he closes the lid, he says to Materena and Rita, “Don’t tell Tamatoa I’m inside the freezer, okay? We’re playing hide-and-seek.”
“Moana,” Materena says, “get out of the freezer. You can suffocate. Go and hide out the back.”
“I like to hide in the freezer.” Moana jumps out of the freezer and runs outside.
Two seconds later, Tamatoa is in the kitchen looking for Moana. He goes straight to the freezer. “I know you’re in the freezer, Moana. You always hide in the freezer.”
“He’s not in the freezer,” Materena says.
Tamatoa lifts the lid just to make sure.
“Didn’t I just tell you that Moana wasn’t in the freezer?” Materena says.
But Tamatoa is already outside, calling out, “I know where you are, Moana!”
“I told Pito to ask his colleague to pay him the two thousand francs back.” Materena resumes her conversation with Rita. “But Pito refused. He said, ‘When I bought the freezer it was working perfectly. I can’t ask my colleague for my money back.’ In fact, Cousin, Pito is going to pay that freezer off.”
“Hmm,” Rita says. “That’s the problem when you buy something from someone you know instead of buying it directly from the shop. It’s difficult to ask for your money back.”
“That’s the problem,” Materena agrees.
“So, you’re going to take the freezer to the dump?”
“Well oui, what do you want us to do with a freezer that doesn’t work? Mori’s got a friend who owns a truck and who owes Mori a few favors, and he’s going to take the freezer to the dump for us.”
Rita looks at the freezer. “It’s a shame it isn’t working.”
“It’s a shame and at the same time it’s not a shame. What’s the point of having a freezer if the only things you can afford to put in it are bread sticks? In a way, I’m glad the freezer broke down. I was a bit fiu of those bread sticks getting frozen.”
The cousins laugh.
“Eh well,” Materena continues. “I hope Mori’s friend is coming soon, because I’m sick of that broken freezer in my kitchen. But Mori’s friend’s truck is at the garage getting fixed at the moment.”
Rita looks at the freezer again and smiles. “I’ve got an idea. You want to hear about it?”
“It’s got to do with the freezer?”
“Oui, Cousin.”
“You know somebody who can take it to the dump for me tomorrow?”
“Eh, maybe you won’t need to take the freezer to the dump at all.”
Materena listens to Rita’s idea and at first she laughs, but then slowly Rita’s idea begins to make sense.
“Okay, let’s go.” Materena is already up and rubbing her hands with excitement.
So the cousins push the freezer into the bedroom. It’s a bit heavy, so Materena calls out to the kids for help. They come, and before they have time to inquire about the situation, Materena tells them that they are to help push the freezer into her bedroom and they are to ask no questions about it.
Soon they are transferring the linen and the quilts from the boxes into the freezer. Then Materena covers the freezer with an old quilt and Rita goes outside to select a potted plant to put on top of the freezer.
There.
Rita and Materena, sitting on the bed, admire the new storage chest.
“You’re a genius, Cousin.” Materena is really impressed with Rita’s idea now. She would have never come up with the idea herself.
“Ah, Cousin. All it takes is a bit of thinking,” Rita says, then begins to cackle. “Pito’s eyes, they’re sure going to pop out when he sees your new wardrobe.”
Materena cackles along with Rita. “Eh, he just wanted to please me. I gave him such a fright last week.”
Rita swings her head toward Materena. “What did you do?” Before Materena has time to explain, Rita adds, “Did you pack his bags and throw them on the road?”
“But non, Rita. I just fell out of the breadfruit tree.”
“You fell out of the breadfruit tree! How high did you fall from? Are you all right? Did you get some X-rays done?”
“Of course I’m all right, but, Pito, he got scared I wasn’t all right. It happened so fast when I fell. He thought I was badly hurt.”
Rita slowly nods. “Sometimes, a man needs to think that he’s lost his woman to make him realize how precious she is.”
“Maybe I should fall out of a tree more often, eh?” Materena jokes.
“Who knows what Pito might do next,” Rita says. “Eh, he might propose marriage to you.”
Materena laughs. “I’ll have broken bones all over my body before that happens.”
Not that she cares anymore about marriage.
Materena is feeling normal again—but she’s getting that new bed anyway.
Pito notices the freezer isn’t in the kitchen as soon as he comes home. “Ah, your cousin’s friend who owns a truck came?” he says, opening the fridge for a beer.
“Go and see in our bedroom,” Materena says softly.
She’s speaking softly because she’s apprehensive, and she’s apprehensive because she’s never heard of anyone turning a freezer into a storage chest, and Pito might not appreciate being reminded every single day of that heap-of-shit freezer he bought. So Materena follows Pito, all the while reminding him that the freezer is hers, so it means that she can do whatever she wants with it.
Pito is in the bedroom. He guesses that the big thing hidden underneath the old quilt and squeezed into the corner of the room is the freezer. He looks at Materena, then walks to the freezer. He takes the potted plant off the freezer and lifts the lid. He smells the eau de cologne and he sees the linen and the quilts neatly stacked in the freezer.
“So?” Materena is all sweetness.
Pito closes the lid and puts the potted plant back on it. He grunts, takes a pull on his Hinano, and admits that it isn’t a bad idea.
But later, in bed, Pito tells Materena that he feels really bad that she has a freezer as a wardrobe.
“Don’t worry about it,” she says. “I like my new wardrobe.”
Well, Pito still feels bad about it, and, actually, so he professes, he won’t relax until Materena has a real wardrobe.
“Pito . . .” Materena hugs her man, thinking he’s so sweet.
“I’m going to get myself a second job,” Pito declares. “I’m not afraid of hard work. I will not rest until my woman has a real wardrobe.”
“Oui, I know,” Materena says, not believing a word of it. But she hugs her man like she believes in him. This is the most thoughtful thing Pito has said in a long while.
Employee of the Month
I’m not going to work today,” Pito announces the next morning.
“And why not?” Materena already knows the reason, and the reason is that Pito doesn’t want to go to work because he doesn’t want to go to work.
“My stomach—it’s playing up on me a bit,” Pito says.
“What’s wrong with your stomach?” Materena doesn’t believe there’s something wrong with Pito’s stomach at all.
“I told you,” Pito says. “My stomach’s playing up on me a bit.”
“I ate what you ate and my stomach is fine.”
“Maybe it’s something I ate at the snack yesterday afternoon.”
“What did you eat at the snack yesterday afternoon?” Materena realizes that she’s asking a bit too many questions here.
“Ah hia hia!” Now Pito is very annoyed. “Do you think you’re a doctor or what? I’m going to see the doctor.” Pito needs to see the doctor for the medical certificate.
“You’re going to see your doctor or my doctor?” asks Materena.
Pito gives Materena the you’re asking me too many questions look. “My doctor, of course. Why should I go and see your doctor? I’m happy with my doctor.”
“Your doctor. He’s only good at giving medical certificates.”
“Well, that’s why I’m happy with my doctor.” Pito goes on about how he only has to say to his doctor that he doesn’t feel 100 percent today for his doctor to say, “How many days off do you want, Pito?” Whereas, Materena’s doctor, he asks too many questions, like he doesn’t believe that you’re too sick to go to work. Not many sick people go to see him. They’d rather wait hours for the other doctor—the doctor who understands better.
“Call my work, okay?” Pito makes himself more comfortable in the bed. “Tell the secretary of the boss that I’m going to see the doctor.”
“It’s you who’s going to call your work. I’m not calling anybody.”
“You can’t call on your way to work? What, it’s difficult to dial the number of my work?”
“Why can’t you call your work?”
“The sick don’t call the office,” Pito says. “Someone else has to call the office. Because if you call the office yourself, it means you’re not really sick. The sick go to see the doctor.”
“I don’t like to talk to the secretary of the boss.” Materena gets out of the bed. There’s breakfast to prepare.
“You don’t have to talk to the secretary of the boss,” Pito says. “Just tell her, ‘Pito, he’s not coming to work today.’”
Materena lifts the quilt off the bed to fold it. “She asks too many questions. She likes to repeat, ‘What’s wrong with Pito?’ like she doesn’t believe me that you’re too sick to go to work. And, that woman, she’s got such an annoying nasal voice.”
“You don’t become the secretary of the boss because you’ve got a beautiful voice,” says Pito. He pulls the quilt back his way, he’s not getting out of bed yet. “You just tell that woman you don’t know nothing. You just tell that woman that you’re not the doctor. Yes, just say to the secretary of the boss, ‘When Pito comes to work, you can look at the medical certificate.’”
“I can’t leave the message with Josephine?”
“Josephine is not the secretary of the boss.”
“And what are you going to do all day?” Materena asks. And before Pito has a chance to answer that he’s going to do nothing but rest all day long, she adds, “Don’t you go out fishing with Ati. You don’t want to get a suntan.”
And now, two days later, Pito, who just got home from work, tells Materena that he has an announcement to make.
Materena stops chopping the onions. “An announcement? A good announcement or a bad announcement?”
Pito gets a beer out of the fridge and sits at the kitchen table.
“What’s the announcement?” Materena is a bit worried. Pito savors his Hinano. “Pito?”
“Can I tell my story when I’m ready?” Pito says.
“Ah, because there’s a story to tell?” Now Materena is really worried. Usually when there’s a story to tell with an announcement, it is a bad announcement. Usually.
“Just keep chopping your onions and listen,” Pit
o says.
“There’s a good ending to your story?” Materena wants to know now, but Pito wants to tell his story from the beginning, and when he gets to the end of it, Materena will know what the announcement is all about.
But first Materena has to promise Pito that she won’t open her mouth during his storytelling, because every time she opens her mouth when he’s telling a story, Pito loses the thread of the story.
Well, here is Pito’s story about what happened to him today at work.
“The boss wants to see you,” a colleague says to Pito.
“Why does he want to see me?” Pito asks.
The colleague shrugs, he doesn’t know why the boss wants to see Pito. He tells Pito the boss just said, “Get me Pito—immediately.”
That word, immediately, worries Pito. When the boss wants to see you—immediately—it means you’re in trouble, you’ve done something he doesn’t appreciate. The last person the boss asked to see—immediately—got shoved through the door. Pito asks his colleague if he’s certain the boss said “immediately.”
“Oui, the boss said ‘immediately.’”
The colleague advises Pito to report to the boss’s office—immediately—and Pito walks to his boss’s office—slowly. He thinks about all the extra hours he’s worked for the company—at no extra charge. Ah yes, it happens that Pito is still at the cutting machine past four o’clock.
Pito thinks about the sick days too.
He reminds himself that he’s entitled to sick days—you don’t get a bonus check if you never get sick. Pito is not the only one who gets sick. Everyone gets sick—and Monday is a popular day to be too sick to work. Pito has never been sick on Mondays, though. The boss gets suspicious when you’re sick that day—Pito is aware of that factor. Friday is not a good day to get sick either. Pito is never sick on Fridays.
The time before the last time that Pito took a day off, he went ?222-178?shing with Ati and he got a bit sunburned. But he worked twice as hard the following three days. He didn’t talk, he just concentrated on the machine.
Pito is about to knock on the door of his boss’s office, but he’s not ready to face the boss yet. Is he going to get shoved through the door?