Could This Be Love?

by Lee Kilraine

  “I thought you needed some time to think.” Sijan stood up from his booth.

  “I did. Just not much. You see, Spike and I were talking”—Avery shook her head at his amused look—“well, see, you may not want to sign on to someone who talks to animals.”

  “I think it’s adorable.”

  “Anyway, we were talking and I realized that in the few weeks I’ve known you, you’ve given me everything I wanted so desperately growing up.”

  Sijan frowned. “Avery, I haven’t given you anything but a whole lot of trouble and heartache.”

  “That’s not true. You bought me cupcakes. Sure, it was the only way to stop my stupid panic attacks—”

  “No.” Sijan’s mouth slid into a knowing smile. “We figured out a better way to stop those. Didn’t we, Avery?”

  Oh, boy, did we. Kissing him worked like magic. “Yeah, we did,” she said, lost in heated memory and now totally sidetracked from the conversation she was trying to have, but apparently so was Sijan.

  Renee walked by and bumped her with her hip on her way to serve drinks. “Cupcakes, Avery. What about the cupcakes?”

  “Oh, he had cupcakes sent over from Aunt Marie’s Bakery and once from L.A.”

  “Cupcakes?” Tynan turned to Quinn. “Does she realize he’s the highest-paid movie star in Hollywood?”

  “And, Sijan, you helped save three puppies, two kittens, two rabbits, a ferret, and a hamster. Just because I asked you to. I’m pretty sure if I’d asked you to bring home the iguana and the five-hundred-pound pig, you would have.”

  “Well, yeah. I love you.”

  Oh, God. Her breath hitched. Was she going to faint? “You make it sound so simple, but growing up it was so very hard. Maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe I don’t deserve love.”

  Sijan reached over and took Spike out of Avery’s arms and handed him to Tansy. He stepped close, cupping Avery’s face in his hands. “It was never you. It was always them.” He brushed the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. “You’re generous and kind. Sweet and sincere. Avery, you’re the easiest person I know to love.” Then he kissed her as if they were the only two people in the room. The only two people in the world. The women sighed.

  Pia peeked around them to Tynan with an eyebrow raised in challenge. “Now that’s wooing.”

  Tynan opened his mouth to speak as the kiss ended, but Quinn put his hand on his shoulder and said, “I got this. This is romantic and all. Lord knows, you’ve set all the ladies off crying, but to this brother’s ears, it’s sounding a little one-sided.”

  Avery’s eyes opened wide. “Oh, that’s why I came back!” She bit her lower lip, looking up at Sijan while her hands twisted the bottom button on her shirt. “I figured something else out too. I didn’t just yearn for love my whole life. I wanted someone to love in return. And my heart picked you. I love you, Sijan.”

  He kissed her again. Her senses were overwhelmed. So much emotion and feeling and touch, as if life had decided to make up for her lonely childhood in one perfect moment. She threw everything she had into her side of the kiss. Which apparently was more than Sijan could handle. In public.

  Sijan abruptly ended the kiss and scooped Avery up into his arms. Her hand rested over his heart, its rapid beat in sync with hers. They locked gazes before he quickly strode out of the diner with her, Quinn grinning as he held the door.

  ***

  Much to Agatha’s disgust, another round of feminine sighs sounded through the diner as her sister observed, “He went with the Officer and a Gentleman ending after all. Very romantic.”

  “Hmmm. A little tame for my taste.” Agatha frowned and sat back in her seat, still staring out the window at the couple like everyone else in the diner. “I expected a little more from an action hero.”

  Heads tilted and necks craned when Sijan put Avery down on the sidewalk outside and kissed her again. Hard. His hands roved firmly over her back, hips, and butt. The hot kiss seared them together into one silhouette. With a growl that could be heard inside the diner, Sijan bent and scooped Avery up over his shoulder caveman style and ran to his truck, her happy laughter tinkling in the air.

  “Oh, my. Agatha, does that do it for you?” Renee asked, still staring out at the couple while fanning her face with a menu.

  “Yes, that’s much better.” She shared a satisfied smile with her sister. “A little Tarzan meets Han Solo.”

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  Avery couldn’t remember the drive to the farm. Or how they’d gotten into Sijan’s house. Or when and how they’d shed their clothes. One minute he was stealing her breath in the diner’s parking lot and the next he was stealing her heart in his bed. Hands, lips, and hearts all of a single-minded intensity, attempting to communicate the joy and deep satisfaction in being loved and loving back.

  “You know I’m talking about forever here, right?”

  “Forever?” Avery snapped her face up to Sijan’s. “Are you sure?”

  “My first thought—okay, my second thought—when I first saw you was, ‘What took you so long?’” Sijan smoothed her hair off her face.

  Avery glanced up, her brow furrowed. “It was a slow trip. I carry a lot of baggage.”

  “We’ve been living under the same roof for weeks now. I’ve seen your baggage. It’s not that bad. I can help carry it.”

  She placed a finger over his mouth to quiet him. “Sijan, it’s not just the panic attacks and the feelings of insecurity that I might take forever to get over.”

  “I won’t mind reassuring you daily.” Sijan ran a slow hand down the curve of her hip to her thigh. His lips slid into a knowing, sexy grin. “I could even reassure you two or three times a day. It’ll be work, but I’m up for it.”

  Before she let herself get too excited, Avery continued on, “You may not know this, but I’m a little gullible.”

  “Only a little?”

  “Oh, you probably heard Tansy’s bone marrow story. Okay, I’m a lot gullible. That means I will fall for every pair of sad eyes at the pound. And I can’t say no to door-to-door salespeople. I have subscriptions to eleven magazines that I will never read to prove it. And when people call on the phone asking for money? They get it. For a year, I gave money to a group raising money for computers for Amish schoolchildren. I even knew the Amish don’t use electricity, but the person on the phone sounded so convincing.”

  Sijan laughed and hugged her to him. “Sweetheart, I love you so much, I think I can handle all of that. And we can pick charities to donate to together. Is that all you’ve got?”

  Avery shook her head and got out of bed, slipping into Sijan’s black silk robe. “There’s more. There’s Tansy. What she did was horrible, but with a mother like Michelle, I’m not sure she knew better. So, I’m not giving up on her. If she honestly tries to change, I’m going to give her another chance. So, I’ve got Tansy.”

  “I’m the first guy to agree family is important. Besides, I’ve got Tynan. But I draw the line at Michelle. What non-problem is next on your list?” Sijan patted the mattress, trying to get her within reach again.

  She sat on the edge of the bed, looking and tugging at the seam on the hem of the robe. Sijan’s gaze flicked down to her restless hands, then back up to her face. Avery sighed. “This one’s a real problem. I . . . I’m not sure I can live in Hollywood with you. I’m willing to try, but . . .”

  Sijan took her hands in his. “Avery, the vows say, ‘for better or worse.’”

  Her head snapped up. “What? You want to marry me? That’s what you meant by forever?”

  “Yes, that’s what I meant. What did you think I meant?”

  Her hands started trembling in his. “Well, forever, as in a long time, until it’s over.”

  Sijan reached out his hand, brushing her hair off her face. “Avery, it’s never going to be over.”

  Avery leaned her forehead against Sijan’s chest and burst into tears. She couldn’t stop her body from shaking, so she clung tighter to Sijan’s body,
letting his strength and heat ground her.

  “Don’t you want to marry me?” His voice was raw, as if the words had had to claw their way out.

  “Yes,” she wailed and threw her arms around his neck and cried harder until she couldn’t catch her breath. Luckily, she knew the trick to this. She lifted her lips up to his and kissed him until he was having trouble breathing. Finally calmer, she pulled back. “Yes, Sijan, I would love to marry you.”

  “You’re sure? Because those were some heartrending tears you shed.” He used the edge of the bed sheet to wipe her face dry.

  “Those weren’t heartrending tears. They were heart-mending tears. I have wanted to be loved for so long. I’ve wanted a place to fit in. Where I actually belong. Where I don’t feel like an outsider. And where no one will ask me to leave. I’ve wanted a family. And now it’s another thing you’re giving to me. I love you so much.”

  Sijan should have cracked his chest open and just handed her his heart right then and there. There was no way he’d ever be mad at this woman after the sad childhood she’d lived through. No child should have to go unloved. Ever. He leaned forward and slipped a light kiss on her lips. “You had me scared there for a few minutes, Avery. And I’ll never live this down when I tell the family our proposal story. Because they’ll ask. My brothers will get a huge laugh out of the fact that you cried for five minutes after I popped the question.” He finally drew a steady breath when Avery’s sweet smile appeared. That was much better.

  “But, Sijan, they were happy tears. Someone who loves me forever? It still blows me away.”

  Okay, he’d spoil her forever too. His jaw clenched while he got his emotions under control. He knew his family would always love him. They were there for him. It was a given in most families. There were so many things she’d missed out on. Spoiling her would be a pleasure. He already knew what he was going to do first.

  “Sijan, how do you feel about children?” She looked up at him, her eyes serious and somber. “Because if you don’t like children, we shouldn’t have them.”

  “Are you kidding? I love kids. I’d like to have nineteen of them, as a matter of fact.” He grinned when her face registered surprise before flushing a pretty pink.

  “You actually were listening that night. I thought you were staring at my . . . you know, my assets.” She put her hands up to her breasts, barely covered since his too large robe had slipped off one shoulder.

  “Well, I was because, baby, you have gorgeous . . . assets. But I’m one of those rare males who can multitask.” He grabbed her and rolled over until they traded top and bottom a few times. Then he got serious and made love to the woman of his dreams.

  They lay panting, limbs tied in a lover’s knot, until her body stiffened in his arms. “Uh-oh. What now?”

  “We might have just gotten an early start on the first of those nineteen children.”

  Sijan waited for the panic to hit, but nothing happened. “I’ll be damned, you’re right. See what you do to me? Seriously, Avery, I love the idea of you having my babies.” He rubbed his hand over the soft curve of her belly. “But I want you all to myself for a little while before we start adding any more kids.”

  Her head popped up in surprise. “More?”

  Sijan drew another pillow under his head and snuggled Avery in close to him. “Did you forget the two we have already? Can’t you hear them snorting under the door over there?”

  Avery pushed up on his chest so she could look down into his face. “You’re adopting Peewee and Roscoe? You’re keeping them?”

  “I have to on account of they adopted me. And they’ve been keeping me warm at night. I can’t wait to tell them you’re taking over that job and they’ll have to sleep in their dog beds again.” He tugged her back down to rest on top of him. What were the odds he could talk her into spending the next month in bed?

  Her lips on his neck were driving him mad, and he tightened his arms around her, using restraint, at least until they jumped over the last few hurdles.

  “I don’t know if I’ve ever been this happy.” She kissed his neck again, rubbing her hand across his chest. “I hope I’m not dreaming.”

  “I’ll bring you back down to earth with this. We still have to discuss living in Hollywood.” Sijan rolled to his side to look into her face. “I have good news and bad news.”

  “Hit me with the bad first,” she said, her voice hesitant.

  “I will have to live in Hollywood part-time for the next few years. And I’m going to want you with me.” He worked his dimples and movie-star charm as hard as he could.

  “Okay, because I want to be with you too.”

  “Okay? That’s it, okay? I just laid the full Monty on you. I used a dose of my movie-star charm on you, knowing how you feel about Hollywood. Wow, you’re easy. Oh, wait. While you’re in such an easy mood. How about . . .” Sijan leaned forward and whispered in her ear, then sat back waiting for her response.

  Avery licked her lips, released a slow grin. “Okay.” And she started to disappear beneath the sheets.

  “Wait.” He stopped her, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We’ve got to discuss this, Avery. Just ‘okay’? That was way too easy, considering all things Hollywood end in a panic attack.”

  The heavy sigh she released caused Sijan’s gut to tighten. When her lighthearted grin slipped into a stiff frown, his instinct was to pull the words back and promise to keep her safely cocooned from all things Hollywood. But that would be like building a foundation on sand.

  “You’re right. I am nervous about living out in Hollywood. I know I want to handle it, but I . . . I just don’t know if I can. Please, let’s not talk about it now. We have time to deal with it later, right? I mean, maybe in a few months I can figure it out. Maybe try therapy again. It doesn’t have to be right now, does it?”

  “Avery, it’s a big part of my life. It’s who I am right now. What I do. We can’t just pretend—”

  She kissed him. Wrapped her arms tight around his neck and kissed him with such passion he lost his breath and his train of thought. Which he was sure was her goal. He made a quick (very quick) mental note to revisit the touchy topic in a few days, and made the heroic sacrifice to let her have her wicked way with his lips.

  “Hey.” Avery pulled back just enough to look into his face. “What was the good news?”

  He brought her hand to his mouth for a kiss and kissed his way up her arm as he told her, “The good news is I only plan on acting in Hollywood a few more years. I’ve been working on a back-up plan.”

  “Oh, the farming thing. I do love animals, but I know nothing about running a farm. I’m willing to learn though.”

  “Until we both learn more, the farm is just for fun. I mean I’ve been smart with my money and invested most of it, but I know you and you’ll want to start a new charity every year. We’ll need extra money for that.”

  “Did I mention I love you? So, what’s the back-up plan?”

  “I’ve been writing screenplays.”

  “You have? Wait . . .” She rolled onto her back and gazed up at the ceiling in silence, then turned to him in wonder. “You wrote the script for our movie. That’s why you got that funny look on your face when I picked it. Sijan, you’re brilliant.”

  “You’re pretty brilliant, yourself. I haven’t told you, but you’re a hell of an actor. Better than me even, and baby, I’m good.” He grinned when she laughed. “I’m going to float an idea and you don’t have to say anything and it can just sail away if you want. Ready?”

  “Wow, you’re making me nervous. Go ahead.”

  “What if I wrote a brilliant screenplay . . . for us?” He held his breath, waiting for her reaction. He was pretty sure she would turn it down, but ever since he’d seen her act, he’d known he wanted them to act together. Not the stark tragic short film they already had in the can. No, he wanted something more epic, in full-blown color to capture her beauty and her talent and their chemistry. He had this desire not only to
see them both on screen together, but recorded in the timeless way of Hepburn and Tracy or Bogart and Bacall.

  He saw the doubt on her face as she opened her lips to speak. He beat her to it. “No, never mind. Don’t answer. Let it float by. It’ll take me years to write the perfect screenplay for us anyway, so for now, pretend I never mentioned it.”

  “Okay. Now, I have work to do.” She smiled and disappeared down under the sheets.

  “I would never want to interfere with your work,” Sijan said with great anticipation.

  A pounding knock on the door had Avery’s head popping back up from under the covers. She looked sexy as hell with hair mussed from the sheets. He called out, “Unless the house is on fire, go away!”

  “Sorry to interrupt, Sijan, but there’s a fire to put out. Jerry called. Ferris is in L.A. throwing out accusations about Avery like a loose cannon,” Tynan said through the closed door. “Jerry says things are blowing up and he needs you both on the next plane out.”

  “We’ll be right out, Ty.” He turned back to Avery. “Hell. Looks like those few months you wanted before you had to deal with this just turned into a few minutes.”

  Avery’s beautifully flushed face drained of color in a heartbeat, and she started wheezing and shivering.

  “Breathe, Avery.” Sijan pulled Avery up to her knees and gave her a slow kiss. He held her in his arms and waited until she could breathe again, all the while rubbing soothing hands along her stiff back. “We’ll deal with this. It’ll be no big deal. Although, you might have to bail me out when I hurt Ferris. Come on, out of bed, beautiful. You have twenty minutes to pack.”

  “I can’t. I’m sorry, Sijan. I can’t go with you. I’m not ready for all the questions and the gossip. It won’t be about the movie we made. You and I both know that. It’ll be about why I disappeared five years ago . . . and someone is bound to figure out what happened when I was seventeen.”

  “Avery, you won’t be alone.” He cupped her face and kissed her forehead. “I’ll be right beside you.”