Struggle

by P. A. Jones

  To tell the reason of yesterday's cancelation I had told her about my meeting with doctor. I guessed she must have bitched about this to my mother.

  My appointment was scheduled at 4 PM so I had some time to check my classes, then hit the library to get a new book. I had art with Mrs. Hunt today. This was the only class I liked because of the practical. She was a very nice teacher and let the students decide the sketches that they wanted to draw. It was always fun in her class. We were going to use water colors so I decided to wear something old…a rough shirt and black trousers. I knew I must be looking like a geek, but I had nobody looking at me.

  From the day I broke up with Jacob, I decided to concentrate on my own life. I tried to date two boys from the college, but every relationship felt like a shallow one.

  I shook my head and headed to class.

  ***

  Chloe caught me when I was heading out of class. "Thank god you are wearing your old clothes. You’re looking like a mess with all the colors on your shirt."

  I looked down at myself. My sleeves were splashed with the colors I used in class. My trousers contained various shades I used, also. "I am looking like a color queen, aren’t I?"

  "Yes, sugar. You are definitely a queen." She smiled and patted me on the shoulder. "Don't you have an appointment with the firm today?”

  "Yep, 4 PM.” I looked at my watch. It was 3:10. “Shit, I am going to be late. How can I go like this? I need to clean up.”

  "Go and get ready. Be ten minutes late, but get yourself clean first."

  She moved on to meet Martin and I walked towards our dorm. Before she was far away, she turned back.” “Hey, sweets, give Mason a call and check what his firm’s offer is for the package. Doesn’t hurt to get the info. I will text you his number."

  I didn’t know if she was trying to set me up with Mason or not, but she wasn't that kind of girl. She cared for me more than anyone so I doubt she would do something like that.

  ***

  I took a quick shower, then caught a cab. It was already 3:30 and it was going to take nearly 45 minutes for me to reach the firm. I decided to call Mason. “Hi, Mason here.”

  "Hi, Mason, it’s Eva. We met at the club a few days back."

  "How can I forget you, pretty face? Tell me what I can do for you." I didn't expect flirting on the phone.

  "Well, we have a project due that needs to be done by a firm. I am heading there right now, but I wanted to have your opinion on the charges and the total cost. It will be a standalone ERP and Facebook-like integration." I exhaled. It was a lot of technical information for my brain.

  "It's hard to estimate that without seeing your scope but, for my firm, it would have been around twenty thousand minimum, though we don't do such small projects. But if you want, I can get it done for you." He must have gotten many sales because of his skills, but my budget was strictly ten thousand.

  "I will call you if I need some help."

  "You can call me anytime. I’ll definitely be waiting.” He was a charming man. I would have enjoyed his flirting if I was in a happy mood, but…

  ***

  This side of New York was completely new to me. I had never been here. I searched for the address and found that it was an apartment. Maybe the firm owner had turned his apartment into his office. It would be strange, but people would do anything to save money.

  I checked the address again and pressed the bell. It was a four story building with a maintained garden. Trees always made me happy, maybe because I like to run in them.

  "Who's this?" came a voice from the intercom.

  "It’s Eva Clark. We have an appointment.”

  "Are you from the university?" The voice was kind of weak.

  "Yes. Can I come in? We can talk in your office."

  "Please, but you are fifteen minutes late."

  "Shall I say sorry when I come in?" I was getting angry. This man was irritating me.

  The door opened and I climbed into the lift. When I rang the bell to flat 809, a man opened the door.

  I caught my breath. It was him, the man from the bar. He was in a gray suit, perfectly fitted around his chest, showing just a hint of muscle in his arms. My knees felt weak. My eyes met his and I thought he recognized me, but that could have been my imagination. “Are you okay? Please come in."

  I snapped back to the present. I was here on business, but his scent and his manly looks drove me crazy. He led me into his apartment.

  "Please, have a seat. I will get you some water.” I could hear his voice, but I wasn’t able to talk. This isn't good. I should not get under his spell. When he came back with a glass of water, I was still standing there.

  He sat on the chair in front of his computer, waving his hand towards another chair. I snapped out of the spell and sat. “So, you are here for some college work, right?”

  "Yes." I started taking out the documents, handing them over. He started looking through them. I kept staring at him. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. He looked up and our eyes met.

  His were dark brown and were sucking me in. He was sitting close to me, his cologne taking over my senses. He looked at the documents again, but I couldn't resist catching his every action.

  "This looks detailed. You have covered most of the requirements so this is a good starting point for me. I can definitely give you estimates based on this. Do you require anything else?"

  "You,” I said without thinking.

  "What?" His eyes widened.

  I recovered. "I mean, you can give an initial estimate based on this?"

  He looked at his computer, thinking. His long hair fell in front of his eyes, and he had a habit of pulling it back with his left hand. He had already done it four times in front of me. The action made me weak in the knees. I didn't know what was happening, but I was falling under his spell again. God, I need to get out of here.

  "It's hard to say for sure, but I think it will be around 13,14 thousand, at least. This requires lots of work, and many visits to your college, as well." He looked sincerely into my eyes.

  He was making me weak. I wanted to say yes, but then I remembered Mrs. Cooper. “Our budget is ten thousand and we can't stretch beyond that. We’re a hoping that you will help us."

  He went into deep thought again. “I will have to think. Is it okay that I give you a call in a day or two?”

  "It's okay with me." I didn't want to leave, but our meeting was over.

  "Thank you, then. I will let you know." He stood up, which I took as my cue that it was time to leave.

  He walked me to the door but, when I was about to leave, I remembered my bag so I turned back. I stopped an inch away from his face, his hot breath fanning my forehead. I looked up and melted into his brown eyes. Then I made the mistake of looking at his lips. I felt the urge to squeeze them in my teeth, but then I remembered that he had a girlfriend. I had never felt this for anyone, and I couldn’t figure out how he had gotten into my head so easily.

  I took a deep breath when I was finally out of his apartment. All the way back to my dorm, I kept thinking about his eyes, his lips. Why is this happening to me?

  I opened my door, and Chloe was sitting there. She looked at me. "Hey, sugar. Why do you look like that? What happened?”

  "It was him, Chloe.”

  "Who? Are you okay?” She came over and felt my forehead. "You look dizzy. Tell me what happened,” she said, worried. How could I tell her what was going on when I didn’t know myself?

  Chapter 11

  Eva

  "Hey, sugar. Let's go. I got three tickets for a kickboxing match tonight. I know you like sports, and this is one of the best in the world. There’s no major violence, but it’s a good fight. You will definitely love it," Chloe said.

  I didn't want to go. After the doctor’s appointment, I was a bit disturbed about the whole “sports” issue. "No, Chloe, you go. I am not feeling well."

  "I don’t care. You’re coming.”

  I had no choice but to go. I kept
thinking about Nathan as I was changing. "What the hell are you wearing?" Chloe burst out laughing when she saw me.

  I looked down. I was wearing a skirt with a shirt over it. Why am I attracted to a stranger? I giggled. "Give me a minute to change." I looked for my favorite red tank top and dark blue jeans.

  “Awesome. Let’s go before we’re late.” She grabbed my hand and dragged me out like I was a child.

  In many instances, I was a child, but not that day. I was still thinking about him. His scent was tattooed in my heart, his smile floating in my mind. God, what is happening to me?

  ***

  When we entered the stadium, it wasn’t very full but, soon, it started filling up. Thanks to Martin, we sat in the front row.

  A referee announced the first match between Lee Parkinson and Jade Hustle. Lee was huge at almost 7 feet tall, and had a body like Sabretooth from the Wolverine movie. Jade was around 6 feet tall, and was well-built. When the two came face-to-face, Jade looked like an lion in front of a bulldozer. We could all guess Jade’s fate in the match. The referee rang the bell and the match started. I didn't know much about kickboxing, but I knew some rules.

  Jade looked dull from the start. Sometimes, he took advantage of his low height and avoided Lee's punches, but he lost in eight rounds. When Lee hit him with a brutal kick, he didn't get up. It was a bit violent, but certainly entertaining. I prayed that we would get a better match for the second one.

  The referee announced the next opponents. Because people were cheering, I couldn't hear the complete name. It was a Tyler-something. He was around 6'5” tall, and had a build that would make women faint.

  When the second opponent came in, my heart stopped beating. It was Nathan! I rubbed my eyes to conform that it was him. "Chloe, what's the name of the second opponent again?" I couldn't believe my eyes.

  "It’s Nathan Brown," she said, looking at me. “What’s wrong?”

  I bit my lip. “It’s the guy from yesterday,” I whisper. My mouth went dry. I never anticipated that I would see him here. I wanted to get away from him, but he haunted my thoughts.

  I looked back at the ring. He was shaking hands with the referee and his opponent. I looked him up and down. I couldn’t get enough, but then my mind started running over the possibilities. What if he loses and gets beaten? What if he gets injured?

  I could clearly hear my heart. I feared that Chloe could also hear it so I looked at her, but she was busy talking with Martin. I looked back at Nathan.

  "Isn't he too cute to be a boxer?" Chloe asked. “I’d love my boyfriend to have a body like that someday." Martin punched her shoulder, playfully.

  I pretended to laugh at her joke, but I was worried and grabbed the edges of the chair edges for support. I didn't want him getting injured. I was surprised at my own reaction.

  "Martin says that he is a good boxer. He saw his last match against a pro. He got hurt, but he was really good,” Chloe said.

  I wanted to run up to the ring and get him out of there, but how could I? I barely knew him. He might be a "Playboy", but I wanted him safe.

  The referee started the match. Nathan took a stance and Tyler attacked him. He was hitting Nathan with punches and kicks, and Nathan was just protecting himself. Why isn’t he fighting back? I wanted him to punch Tyler and finish the match, but he was getting beaten.

  "He is a pro-defender,” Martin told Chloe.

  "I hope so," I muttered.

  Three rounds passed, and all he did was protect himself. The fourth round started, and Tyler hit Nathan on his chin. For the first time, his defense was weak. Nathan fell down on the ground, and my heart skipped a beat. I stood up, holding my mouth in my hands. Nathan stood up and, for a split second, I thought our eyes met. I saw the spark in his.

  The fifth round started and Nathan finally went on the offensive. Tyler was tired and a bit sluggish. Nathan didn't gave him any chance to go on the defensive. Nathan took advantage, hitting him with punches and kicks.

  The sixty round went the same. Nathan continued on the offensive, hitting Tyler with everything he had. He hit him with a side kick, then the same kick that ended the first match. I didn't realize it, but I had started cheering for him. Each point he scored, I stood on my chair to clap and cheer.

  At the end of the eighth round, Nathan turned it up a notch, He jumped in the air, delivering a roundhouse kick. That did the job. Tyler was through.

  The referee announced him the winner. I thought he would showboat a little bit after the announcement and look into the crowd. Maybe he’d even see me, but he did the opposite. He went over to Tyler and helped him up, then gave him a hug. He then disappeared into the crowd.

  On the way back to the dorm, Chloe and Martin were chatting about the match, but I my mind was occupied by him and his bare body.

  Chapter 12

  Nathan

  His punch was like a hammer. It wasn't a practice match so I wasn’t wearing any head gear. Before the match, I was angry because of everything that had happened recently. I wanted to get that anger out somehow, but I lost focus and became defensive. Once I fell, I felt like I would never stand up. But when I looked at the crowd sitting near the ring, I gasped. It was her. Eva. The girl at the bar, the girl who started the spark in me, the girl who stopped my heart when she visited my house. Now she’s watching my every move, holding her mouth in fear like she wanted me to get up and hit back. For a second, our eyes met and I knew that I had to win the match.

  I carefully avoided looking back at her, and the anger in me came out. However, it was covered in some soft emotions, emotions that I thought I had forgotten a long time ago. Tyler was in front of me and was a bit tired. I was defensive, but I didn't gave away many points. My energy was still high, while Tyler looked tired. I attacked him, putting him on the defense. I hit him with side kick, flap kick, crosses, jabs, everything I could throw at him. I was feeling light; I was feeling different.

  Round six was a tricky one. I was on the attack, but I didn’t score many points. I had to do something to lure Tyler into my trap. I went on being defensive. He took the bait and started attacking me. At a weak moment, he stopped protecting his chest. Now was my chance. I utilized it with an air kick, which I developed for something just like this. I pushed on my right leg and jumped in the air, keeping the left leg down and swinging the right into his chest. It scored me many points in the match and, hopefully, with Eva.

  Before round eight was over, Tyler was on the floor of the ring. I was happy not because I won the match, but because I won it in front of her. What would she have thought about me if I'd lost? I didn't know much about her, other than that she was a college girl. I didn't understand these feelings that I was having. I wanted to look at her, see if she was cheering for me, but I had to show respect to my opponent. When I looked back, she was gone. Damn.

  I was happy for a bit, but when I got home, reality hit me. I had lost four clients in the last three days, and I had bills to pay. I realized I had to ask for some time from the bank, but how much would they give? Also, how many clients would I get after this? I didn't have an answer for that.

  There was one thing that I could do…take Eva's offer. Another benefit of that was that I would be able to spend time with her. Did I want to spend time with her? What if she already had a boyfriend? How would I deal with that? There were too many questions, and I knew the only way to get away from them was alcohol. I deserved to celebrate, too. A bottle of Jack Denials could make me forget everything.

  Chapter 13

  Nathan

  I woke up around 11 AM, hangover from last night, thousands of hammers pounding in my head. Shit, I should drink less. I had to call Eva. I checked over my options and I didn't have another one. I dialed her number, waiting for her smooth voice.

  "Hello, this is Eva Clark. I can't talk to you right now. Please leave a message." Damn. I really wanted to hear her voice. I decided to go back to bed for a while.

  ***

  My phone rang, m
aking me jump. I thought it was Eva so I picked it up without looking at the screen. “Hello. You didn’t answer my call.” I tried to sound normal.

  "What? You didn't call me." It was James.

  "Oh, it’s you. What’s up?” I tried not to sound too disappointed.

  "Who were you expecting? A fan from your match, or a girl?” James laughed. "I called to congratulate you and ask what you have going on tonight. We need to celebrate. I heard of a great bar where we can meet some good girls." James sounded exited.

  "No, man. I have some work to do. Besides, I am already hung over.” I knew that sounded stupid, but it was a good excuse. I didn't want to go out with anyone but Eva.

  “Dude, are you bailing? Are you sure you don't have a date?”

  "No, James. I just want to rest tonight. We can hang out some other time." I couldn't hide the unwillingness in my voice.

  He sounded disappointed, but said, “Okay. I’ll talk to you later.” After he hung up, I laid back down.

  My phone rang, and I thought it was James again. He doesn’t give up so easily. I looked and saw Eva’s name on my screen. I jumped up. “Hello?”

  "Hello. Is this Nathan?” Her voice soothed my heart.

  "Yes. I called you before.”

  "I know. Sorry I couldn't answer that one. I was busy doing some work."

  "That’s okay. I just called to tell you that I will take your assignment. Can we meet up to discuss it in detail?” My heart pounded, waiting for her answer.

  "Sorry, but I am going out to the zoo. Can we meet up tomorrow?”

  “Tomorrow is fine.” My voice faltered a bit.

  As she hung up the phone, I laid down on my bed. I kept staring at the ceiling. Eva's words started flowing through my mind.

  My phone signaled that a text was coming in. I didn’t feel like looking. After five minutes, it rang again. I checked and saw two unread messages from Eva.

  Hi, Nathan. I was wondering if you wanted to join us at the zoo. Then maybe we can discuss things in the evening. It will be just four of us.