Alex's Destiny (Racing To Love)

by Amy Gregory

  “Me too,” Dallas quietly agreed.

  There was something in the sick grin on Dallas’s face, forced for his sister’s sake, but also an understanding of what he’d walked in on. The something he sensed was going on in the kitchen.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Dallas opened the passenger side door of Levi’s car, holding tightly to the leather bound notebook in his other hand. “Thanks for shuttling me around for the last hour.”

  “It was no problem, and I’m glad you’re able to take that to Alex.” Levi nodded at Dallas’s hand.

  A guilty smile tugged at his mouth, but it was forced. It still bothered Dallas that something so important to her had slipped passed him. He should have known, and it wasn’t like he was upset with her for keeping a secret. He just thought he knew her inside and out, and he was disappointed in himself for letting such a large piece of her go unnoticed. He knew there was a larger part of her he’d never acknowledged, and pretending he didn’t see her feelings for him would forever be something he‘d regret.

  Standing with the car door still open, Dallas studied the various rocks of the gravel driveway. “She’s young you know?” Glancing at the driver, Levi’s wide-eyes revealed the truth. Dallas hadn’t imagined what he saw in his sister’s face. As much as he wanted to act like a caveman and protect his little sister, her words came back to him. She was technically an adult, grown and able to make her own decisions. As much pain as he had caused Alex with his own stupidity, he knew he had no right to interject his opinions.

  Levi nodded with a quiet admission, “I know, man.”

  With that Dallas let it drop, he got in and shut the door. Levi pulled back out of the driveway, and they dropped all conversation. He had been staring out the window of his door, but now making their way up the drive Dallas turned and took a long look at the house he’d spent as many hours in as his own home. He’d never been nervous about entering it before. Now, though, his system was racing in overdrive. Walking into the open garage door, he entered the house without knocking. Both Molly and Taryn were sitting at the kitchen table, Molly with a laptop in front of her, Taryn with a stack of manila folders and several pieces of paper spread out in front of her. It didn’t take a genius to figure out they were stepping in to take over Alex’s paperwork duties for the academy.

  “Hi, honey. Aren’t you going to miss your flight?” Molly asked on her way to the cabinets Dallas knew the coffee mugs were kept.

  Carter and Mike walked into the kitchen from the patio door before Dallas could answer. “Well, we found exactly where that one picture he took of Alex sitting on the deck had been taken.” Mike spit out, not hiding his anger for the family’s sake.

  From the corner of his eye, Dallas watched both women try to cover both their instant tears and panic. Mike was visibly pissed someone had been that close to the girl they all loved, but Carter looked like Dallas felt—sickened.

  “That fucker wasn’t even forty yards from the edge of the patio.”

  “How…how do, what did you…” Molly started.

  Taryn rubbed her back. “Did you guys find something, I mean, other than what the police mentioned?”

  “We’re going to up the security around here.” Mike answered.

  Dallas furrowed his brow, “What security?”

  “Exactly.” Mike replied, stabbing at the screen of his phone. “Yeah, this is Detective Sterling. I need Captain Montgomery please. No. I’m not leaving a message, I’ll hold.”

  Scanning the kitchen, all eyes were on Mike, waiting for him to fill in the blanks. Dallas shoved his hand in his pocket, fingering the shrinking roll of chewables. Feeling the burn churning in his stomach, and the constant pain roaring back with a vengeance, Dallas yanked the medicine out and popped three chalky cherry disks in his mouth. The claim on the package was nothing but a gimmick. This brand didn’t work worth a shit.

  With teary eyes Molly handed him a cup of coffee, barely containing it in the mug because her hands were shaking.

  “So, Dallas, you never answered my question. Did you miss your flight?” She asked, but the words were said looking at her brother-in-law…not him.

  “I’m not…I quit. I’m not going back.” He stammered, sipping the hot coffee she had placed in his hands, accepting more than just the hot liquid, but the motherly way she’d always tended to him. “Dad is talking to Grandpa right now to figure it all out with my contract. But, well—I can’t leave her. Not again.” Unable to face their questioning eyes, he stared into the dark brown coffee, the gentle steam rising from the thick heavy mug. “Can you ever forgive me?”

  Molly stole the coffee from his hands immediately, and he noticed for the first time how badly his own hands were shaking. “Oh my God, Dallas. Honey there’s nothing to forgive,” she said soothingly as she wrapped her arms around him.

  “Son, we told you a little while ago this wasn’t your fault. You have to believe that or you’re going to make yourself sick,” Carter said leaning against the counter close to Dallas.

  Little did either of them know he was way past that point. His stomach was a fiery mess, turning, rolling, and rejecting almost anything he tried to eat. With one arm around Molly, he glanced at the leather notebook he’d laid on the counter in order to accept the coffee. Scrubbing his free hand over his face, he ran his fingers over his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, doing anything he could to make the stinging in his eyes quit. “You don’t get it…if I hadn’t left in the first place none of this would have happened.”

  Carter’s hand gripped his shoulder tight, which made another hell roar to life. The people he stood between—he’d always viewed them as his aunt and uncle. But now? Confused and lost, he ground his teeth knowing he was losing the battle to keep his emotions together.

  “Dallas, listen to me. Did you two leave things unattended? Sure. But you’re both young and it takes time to figure things out. Bumps in the road happen in every relationship, and we can totally see where you were coming from. The girls would have gone to dinner regardless. They do a lot together, dinner, shopping, movies. They’re very close. Was she upset that night…she was quiet, yeah, but she didn’t go out trying to drink you off her mind and end up putting herself in a dangerous position.”

  He took in every word Carter said, not able to ask for details about what had happened. As painful as it was, Dallas knew he had to know. Blinking, he remained quiet with Molly’s hand rubbing his back.

  “The owner of the restaurant called the next day, after he heard what had happened to Alex. Anthony is just as devastated as the rest of us, and he feels the same weight of guilt. His great-grandmother had been abused, and it turns out the night the girls were there, he’d spoken to Alex and Tasia outside. After they’d walked out, he ran outside to stop them to apologize for everything and let them know how badly it had affected his grandfather. His grandfather had fallen in love with them immediately, and he’d asked to buy an entire table at the gala in his honor. Alex was elated. Once Anthony did some investigating of his own, he’d found out the details of what spooked her so quickly. That bastard had been arrested multiple times for beating his wife. Since the night of the attack, Anthony and his family have reached out, raising over fifty thousand dollars for our foundation. “

  Carter spoke between gritted teeth. “I would give back every red cent of it if nothing would have happened to Alex, oh my God, in less than a heartbeat. But none of us can change the past. Does it make me sick…God, yes. Does it absolutely fucking kill me that my baby girl was hurt, and is still suffering? You have no idea.

  Does it haunt me I was here that night, and I had no idea what she was going through just three minutes away from me—it always will.”

  Carter’s words, the words of a guilt-ridden father, echoed every sentiment running through Dallas’s head. Every pain in his heart was mirrored by the pain in her parent‘s hearts.

  “But, we have to go on. We have to move forward. Mol and I’ve been working with th
e grief counselors connected to the foundation. We’ve taken the steps they’ve suggested in order to do everything we can to help Alex. It’s going to be a long road, and we’ll take it one day at a time. She took on the physical and emotional pain, but it has hurt us all. No one is unaffected, trust me. But, Alex is strong, and with all of us working together, we’ll pull her through this. Just like we did before.”

  Dallas’s eyes filled with tears as he looked at Molly. There was still a faint white line on her neck no t-shirt could cover. Although he knew she’d never been hurt sexually, Dallas knew from his parents the nightmare Molly had come from, the bruises and broken bones, the stitches and hell she survived—as a child. With tears running down her pale cheeks, there was no one who understood the pain like she did. It was the reason Alex poured her heart and soul into the foundation James started to help abused children.

  His aunt never spoke of the life she lived prior to Pennsylvania. Her slate had been wiped clean and all memories were erased after the Noland’s took her in. Her deep blue eyes swam in more tears, and all he could do was watch as Carter pulled his wife tightly to his chest. The present and the past collided, and as mild-mannered as his uncle normally was, there was tension underneath his patient words.

  Mike’s fist pounded on the counter-top, bringing their attention back to the phone call he was still on. “That’s bullshit. Don’t tell me I’m out my fucking jurisdiction here! No you listen here, Dennis. I may be from out of town, but I’ve got more years and more experience with this sort of crime than anyone in this sleepy ass little town. And let me remind you of one other little side factor—she’s my niece you jackass!”

  Dallas chanced a look in Levi’s direction as he sat at the kitchen table. Sharing a non-verbal message, Dallas knew they were on the same page. When, and he knew they would find the fucker, but when they did, he would likely never see the light of day again. The method used to ensure that, well that may or may not be legal.

  “No, Dennis. See your deputies missed something out here. Something close to the house. That bastard has been here making himself right at home. He was using a log as a bench, fuck we even found a discarded beer bottle near it. Who the fuck knows when the last time he was there, but it’s angled right at her bedroom window. I want this property secured…now!”

  Levi mouthed, “I’ll kill him.”

  Grinding his teeth to the point of launching sharp shards of pain straight at his temples, Dallas tensed every muscle in his body and nodded to agree with his new-found comrade.

  Taryn slipped into her husband’s space as he continued to argue his involvement in the case. Lowering his head, Dallas stepped away quietly, and made his way up the back staircase. Her attacker had slipped through Levi’s hands, and if Mike couldn’t get cooperation from the damn police, then it was likely he might glide right through the justice system also. Dallas had felt with every fiber of his being that once he’d decided to retire, it was the right decision. Now his drive to stay and take care of Alex was more than just a personal need, it seemed to be turning into a desperate attempt to keep her alive.

  At the top of the stairs Dallas swallowed hard seeing the door still shut, knowing she’d not made a move to eat since he’d left her earlier. With the notebook held tightly to his chest, he pulled in a long breath, smelling the worn leather once before tapping lightly on her bedroom door. “Alex?” Without waiting for an answer, he slipped inside, shutting the door behind him. Dallas looked to the ceiling for answers after seeing her, not only still shut away in her room, but in the exact same chair and tucked position where he’d left her. Not only hadn’t she eaten—she hadn’t moved. Her long blonde curls were starting to dry and were shielding her face as she stared out her window. From where she was, he knew she could see the occasional rider sail through the air as they cleared the north double on the track. Even with her window shut, the rev of the engines could still be heard faintly in the distance. She appeared to be so intent on whatever she was focused on, he couldn’t break in. He’d explain to her somehow why she couldn’t leave her curtains open anymore for the time being, but first things first. Making his way quietly across the room, she never flinched. Reaching out, he ran his palm over her head, “Alex?”

  Her iPod went flying, yanking the one ear-bud from her ear as she let go of it to grip the arms of her chair. Her startled scream and gasp for air broke his heart. Dropping to his knees, he let go of the notebook to wrap her in his arms. “Oh my God, baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m so sorry.” He gripped her tighter, feeling her chest move as she panted. “I said your name, but you never heard me. I’ve got you. It’s okay. I’m here.”

  For several long moments, he kept her crushed to his chest, afraid to loosen his hold. At last, he felt her try to pull in a deep breath, a little calmer finally. As he let her go, her head fell back against the chair and her eyes sent a chill through him, they were so glassy. The purple smudges beneath them were darker than yesterday, and it was as if he was looking through her rather than at her. It was the same ghostly stare he’d seen in her the night in the emergency room.

  Dallas made himself do something he hadn’t done in a long while. Taking a deep breath, he studied her, and didn’t look away, even though it was painful to see. She was in trouble, and slipping further and further away. His Alex was hidden away, replaced by a woman scared of her own shadow. “We’re going to get you through this, I promise you.”

  She was still for a moment, blinking as if she was trying to recognize him. “You’re supposed to be gone.”

  Her voice was so distant and flat it chilled him. There wasn’t any lift to her tone, just a zombie-like state. He took it for what he assumed was the truth. She was days past exhausted. Scooting closer to her on his knees, he bumped the notebook. Feigning a lightness he was afraid he’d never feel again, he lowered his voice. “Guess what. I brought you something, baby. Look.”

  Reaching down, he picked up the treasure and held it out to her. Like watching a slow motion film, her face went from puzzled, to shock, to tortured. Tears welled up, turning her ice blue eyes to turquoise. “What’s wrong, Alex? I’m sorry, I…I thought you’d be glad to have this back.”

  As he started to pull it away she tentatively reached out, her fingers grazing the leather as if it would burn her to take it. One drop splattered on the cover, turning it dark, then another. He quickly wiped them off, then wiped her face. It was then, in her haunted eyes, he could see her re-living that night. Levi had said she had it out on her desk, she must have been working on something when the bastard took her by surprise. Suddenly she reached out, desperately clawing her way as close as possible to him as the racking sobs overtook her. With the momentum, Dallas had nowhere to go but backward, with her in his arms. She hadn’t paid any attention to her actions, but without meaning to he noticed there was nothing under her robe. Pulling her close to his chest as she curled into a ball, he tucked the soft blue fabric tightly around her, cuddling her on his lap. Whispering soothing hushes, he rubbed her arm, back and leg with his free hand and fought with himself. Half wanting her parents to come in and tell him what to do—half knowing it was his job now to figure it out.

  Alex knew she was a mess, both inside and out. But she felt something in his arms she hadn’t felt in what seemed like an eternity. In reality it was just since that night. Everyone had been in her room and tried to console her, her parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, hell even her Aunt Taryn and Uncle Mike had flown in…but none of them were Dallas. She needed him more than her next breath, and it wasn’t right. She knew he had a girlfriend. In that moment, they were back in their own world again, back where she was safe, and she was desperate to not let go.

  “Shh, I’ve got you, Lex. I’m not going anywhere. It’ll all be okay. Shh.”

  His words did nothing to slow the tears. They only started to fall for a different reason—because she couldn’t believe his words. She knew the truth. “As a matter-of-fact, you�
�re…late,” she choked out in between the breaths of aftershocks. “You…you missed your…plane.”

  “No, hon. I didn’t. I told you, I’m not going anywhere.” It pained her to lose the connection, but she gradually let him pull her away to arm’s length. “I’m here—to stay.”

  Through the tears, she studied his face, the lines creasing his forehead, the way his brow was knitted tight, the pain in his gray eyes. “But,”—she lowered her gaze, afraid of the answer she’d see in the face she knew too well—“Heather?”

  “God, I’m so sorry.” He said pulling her back into his chest, squeezing the air from her lungs, but she didn’t care. With a strength she hadn’t felt in days, she held onto him. “Oh, Lex. We’ve got so much to talk about, so much to work out…but, baby,”—he pulled her back once again—“it’s always been you. God, I’m…I was so stupid, I never meant to hurt you. I tried to ignore it, I was afraid, and I hurt you. She was just a friend, another rider on the team…it was his sister. I’ve known her for several years. She’s the only one who knew how I felt about you. I was scared it would upset the family. I—I am so incredibly sorry.”

  His words circled in her head, but between exhaustion and lack of food, she couldn’t understand or concentrate, nothing seemed coherent. And as much as he apologized, he still didn’t explain why he wasn’t headed back across the country to his team, the track, and the race that was getting closer, hour-by-hour.

  Gradually the tears slowed and heavy waves threatened to pull her under, but Alex knew what awaited her in the dark—so she forced her eyes to stay open, no matter how hard it was.

  “Lex…can we get you dressed?”

  “But—”

  “One step at a time, I promise. I’d like to take you to eat somewhere special, do you trust me?”

  As much as the terror was starting to grip her tighter around the neck, she did trust him. He slipped her off his lap then pulled her up to stand. He sat her on her chair, and she watched as he pulled a tank top and a pair of socks from her dresser. Then he opened the top drawer, gathering a pair of pale pink lace underwear almost like he’d done it countless times before. He disappeared into her walk-in closet, coming back with a pair of khaki shorts, a black t-shirt, and her favorite pair of running shoes.