Alex's Destiny (Racing To Love)

by Amy Gregory

  Nuzzling against her, he pressed his lips into her.

  “Dallas, no. I’m…”

  He expected her to say ‘not ready’, and to be honest he had no idea what had gotten into him. Suddenly he’d just been drawn to her, he wanted to heal her, wanted to console her in any possible way—as well as himself. But what she said next was as painful as a knife jabbed straight into his heart.

  “I’m dirty. Gross—no. Please don’t touch me,” she pleaded on a whisper.

  Standing back upright, he gathered her close. Pulling her back flush against him, he crossed his arms tightly over her chest. Her face fell forward, and he felt the first of her hot tears drip onto the skin on the back of his hand. “Baby, no. Never. Listen to me, Alex.” He begged as the two of them remained connected, the iPod still shared between them. “That bastard didn’t take your innocence. He didn’t take your virginity. He didn’t take your life or your soul. He didn’t take your laughter, and he can’t steal your love. I know you feel different, but you’re still the same girl you were before.” He released her only enough to spin her around, tipping her chin to meet his gaze. “With one exception, I love you. Not like before, Alex. I’m so sorry I was scared. I beg you to forgive me for running away, for not being there to protect you when you needed me the most. But, God Alex, I love you. The only thing different about you…is me. You’re not a girl anymore, you’re a woman—the woman I love, and want to be with. Please, let me in. Let me help you, please, Alex. Let me love you.”

  He had been terrified the light in her ice-blue eyes he had always held dear, had gone out—permanently. She had lost so much of herself, but staring hard Dallas saw a flicker of life come back to them.

  Pulling her close to his chest and his heart, Dallas understood she couldn’t return the words he said aloud, and he didn’t want her to, not until she was ready. He stood with her pressed against him. After an eternity, a muffled admission was spoken against his shirt, her breath warming his skin through the fabric, and her words soothing his bleeding heart.

  “That song? It’s you. It’s always been you.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  It had been nine days.

  Nine days and nights of pure hell. Nine days of Dallas trying to help, but she’d been so lost she couldn’t grab the hand he was holding out to her. Now there wasn’t a choice. He was physically reaching out, pulling her behind him. Not only were his legs longer, hers were heavy and it felt like she was trying to walk through pounding waves in the ocean as she struggled to keep up—yet he wasn’t slowing down. Fear spiked as she realized she’d mindlessly ran to the track, not thinking of the dangers lurking in the darkness.

  The words he’d spoken were sincere, and they were words she didn’t think she would ever hear, not from him. Not after Heather. And certainly not after she’d been made to feel unworthy and disgusting. Up until that point, she had wanted to fall asleep—and never wake up again. The disappointment and pain it would cause her family lurked in the back of her mind, but it was the darkness that kept her alive. Pure unadulterated fear that stopped her from going over the edge.

  She wasn’t alive anymore, not in the sense of self. She was nine days into an exhausted, walking dead state. Yet, Dallas still wasn’t slowing down. She fought to keep up as he led her up the stairs to the patio of her grandparent‘s home, guiding her back toward the safety of the house where her every move was watched.

  Dallas didn’t know his words and voice echoed through her blank mind. And it was his “Alex, I love you” that rang the loudest.

  As he opened the door, the talking in the room immediately ceased. Walking straight to Karen, Alex had no choice but to follow along, or be dragged. Leaning down, Dallas whispered something to her then kissed her cheek. When it was Alex’s turn, she assumed to say “goodbye”, Dallas’s grip on her hand remained tight.

  Kissing her grandmother, Alex apologized once more for the plate, but only got a pained smile and her reassurance once again it wasn’t necessary. Dallas said over his shoulder they were going to her house and out the front door he walked, a man on a mission, with her in tow. Opening the passenger side door of his truck, he helped her in, ignoring her raised eyebrow.

  “Dallas?”

  He only winked and shut the door. Once he was sitting beside her, he reached across her and pulled her seatbelt to latch it for her.

  “What is going on?”

  “Something I should have done days ago.”

  In her previous life, she would have taken a couple of swings at him. In joking…maybe, maybe not. Now she was so tired, she couldn’t make heads-or-tails of what he was saying. Without a sip of alcohol, or even a cold-pill, she felt drugged. Her brain was so foggy and so empty. The radio was on low and it was dark outside. Her head fell back against the seat, and she had to blink and make a desperate effort to keep her eyes from closing. Less than three minutes later he was unbuckling her and helping her back out of the truck.

  “Can I make you something else to eat?” he asked, turning on the kitchen light as they walked into her house. She saw him tilt his head, but she shook her own. Letting out a defeated breath, he gave her a tight-lipped smile. “Okay. Well, then let’s go.”

  “Where?”

  “Just come on.”

  Once again, her hand was in his and she was following along. It wasn’t the first time, and she assumed it wouldn’t be the last, but at the moment she had no clue what he was up to. As he led her up the stairs to her bedroom, she only became more and more confused. Letting go of her, he walked straight to her dresser and pulled out a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top. It was the second time she’d watched him collect her belongings as if he lived with her. Placing them in her hand, Dallas only grinned and gave her a gentle push in the direction of her bathroom.

  Five minutes later she was back out to find the lamp by her bed softly glowing, him standing on the other side folding back the covers as if he wanted her to crawl in the bed. He didn’t know. She hadn’t told anyone. Alex looked toward her chair, the one that allowed her to remain upright through the dark of the night, and to keep her eyes open.

  Dallas patted the bed. “Come on, honey.” Glancing between the bed and chair again, her breathing picked up its pace. She couldn’t, no she couldn’t let the darkness come. It wasn’t safe to sleep. “Lex, I’m not going to leave you. I’ll stay with you all night. I promise.”

  “But—”

  “I know you packed all night in California. I know you slipped out of bed the minute my head hit the pillow. You’re exhausted, and the dark under your eyes has gone from purple to black. I know you aren’t sleeping, and Alex—I know it’s because you’re afraid to sleep. So from now on, I will be here. Every night, all night. And nothing will happen. If you start to drift off into a nightmare, I’ll wake you before it gets bad.”

  One word came out. “Why?”

  Helping her put one foot in front of the other, he gently dragged her toward the bed. Once he had her in it and the covers pulled up to her chin, he kissed her forehead, then her cheek. “Because I love you.”

  He quickly walked around the bed, removing his t-shirt along the way. If Alex had dime for every time she had seen him in as little clothing as only shorts, she’d be rich. That didn’t stop her from noticing the muscles flex in his arms, shoulders and abs. He was built like steel, but Alex wasn’t convinced it’d be enough to keep her demons at bay. She scrambled to sit up, urgently reaching for the shirt he’d discarded and had laid at the foot of the bed. Slipping it over her head, she drank in his cologne.

  Dallas pulled her hair out of the collar, and she realized what she’d done. Wide-eyed, she waited for him to make fun, but the teasing never came.

  “You want the light on?”

  She jerked her shoulder, still embarrassed by her need for him.

  “How about I turn on the hall light instead?”

  She glanced longingly at her chair by the window. Tucking her hair behind her ear, he gri
nned, she knew for her benefit alone.

  “It’s going to be all right. We’re going to get through this, one day and one night at a time. But, I’m never going to leave you. I’ll stay by your side.”

  Alex remained sitting until he came back in the bedroom. After he switched off her lamp, he laid down, in his jeans and on top of the covers. “You’re going to get cold,” she said softly.

  “Not with you beside me.” He patted his chest. “Are you ready to lie down?”

  Steeling herself, Alex pulled in three deep breaths before easing herself into the fluffy blankets as if it were a bed of fire. Instantly, Dallas had her tucked into his side. Between the scent she now wore on his shirt and the warmth of his skin, the very start of relaxation set in. Snuggling in closer, she rubbed her cheek against his chest. She tried like hell, but before she could stop it, her eyes closed…and sleep overtook her.

  Not only was she wedged in tight to his side, she’d wrapped her arm around his chest. A tiny piece of him wanted to be thrilled at her acceptance of him. The rest of him knew the truth. She was scared to death. That was fine, he’d keep her safe.

  Dallas heard the garage door open, and a few moments later Carter, Molly and Jack’s voices all mixed with Mike and Taryn’s as they entered the kitchen. Cabinets opened and shut then ice rattled as it fell from the icemaker.

  “Dallas?” Molly whispered into the mostly dark room.

  “Did you get her to sleep?”

  “Yeah,” he started to get up. Dallas hadn’t run his plan by her parents and really didn’t know how they’d feel about finding him in her bed.

  “No,” she reached out, touching his bare shoulder. “Don’t move, you’ll wake her. I’ll be right back.” Settling back into the heavenly pillow, he waited. Unsure where she went, but he waited. “Here, hon. You’re going to freeze. You could just get under the covers, you know?” she said, laying a blanket over the top of him.

  “I don’t…I didn’t—”

  “Relax, Dallas, this is completely innocent. We understand you’re doing everything you can to help her. There are just some things even as her mother, I can’t offer her. There are some things only you can. Carter and I get that. We’ve been where you are. Most people say they understand, but they don’t. They can’t. We do. Right now she needs sleep and food more than anything, and you’re doing what you can to give both of those to her.”

  She reached down to pat his cheek. “Aunt Mol?” He stopped her from leaving. “I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through. Before…and well, all over again.”

  “Like I said Son, not everyone understands. Jesus, I’d give anything so you and Alex didn’t have to. I fight like hell trying not to be mad at God because this happened to our daughter, but thank you for saying that. And, Dallas, thank you for taking care of our little girl. Love you. Try to get some sleep.”

  “Love you, too.”

  Dallas listened to the noises her family made downstairs the rest of the evening. The one thing missing that was glaringly obvious, was laughter. As the night grew longer, he faded in and out, sleeping lighter than normal, just from fear he’d not hear her stir. Yawning, he hugged her to him, grateful she was sleeping peacefully, and even happier she was still finding comfort in him, and had yet to turn away in her sleep.

  As the night gave way to morning, a blue hue lit her room. He covertly slipped from her hold to use her bathroom. Coming back out, he saw Carter peek in the door. With a hesitant wave, he padded barefoot quietly across the room. Even though Molly had given him her heartfelt reassurances last night, there was still a piece of him that was leery of what the morning would bring when he spoke face-to-face with her father. He’d called the man uncle for two decades, but now their relationship had officially changed. Sex or no, he had in fact, slept with his daughter.

  “She make it through the night?” Carter asked nodding to the bed.

  Placing his hand over his mouth, Dallas yawned again, then forced a tight-lipped smile, “Yeah.”

  “Did you get any sleep?”

  “I’m good.”

  “Okay, well, I’m going to start some coffee. Come on down whenever you’re ready for some.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

  Like threading a needle, he slid his arm back under her neck and pulled her back to his chest. The circumstances were not at all how he wanted their life together to start. However, when she settled back into place, it felt right. For the first time in his adult life, he felt like he was right where he was supposed to be. He was home.

  His phone buzzed a little after eleven with a text. Scrubbing a hand over his face, he blinked, letting his eyes adjust to the bright sunshine pouring in her room. Over the course of his lifetime, Dallas could count on one hand the number of times he’d slept past eight o’clock. Built on years of racing, practicing and working out, the highly regimented schedule guaranteed his eyes were always open before his alarm went off. Now his body was stiff, and sleeping in jeans, although it was the right thing to do, was downright uncomfortable. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t do it again and again to keep Alex safe and give her comfort.

  In a move made for the Twister Hall of Fame, he was able to reach his cell on her nightstand. Seeing the message made his heart pound. It was the answer to a quest he’d started on three days prior.

  Taking five times as long as it normally would, Dallas typed a message back using only one hand, explaining that Alex was finally sleeping and he would call to arrange a meeting as soon as she woke.

  The girl at his side nuzzled against his bare skin, and he couldn’t help but know he’d made the right decision last night. She had needed sleep so badly, no one was even allowing her to drive. Not that she’d acted like she was going to try to go anywhere. Now he was hopeful when she did wake, maybe her stomach would be ready for some nourishment.

  Molly walked in the open bedroom door with a tray, and stomach demanded to be fed. “Good morning, hon. How did she sleep?”

  Echoing her whispered volume, he gave her a thumbs up. “She never stirred. I think she was on the verge of collapsing.”

  “I think you’re right. You have to be starving.” Arranging the tray on a stool Alex had tucked in the corner of her room, Molly placed it next to the bed so he could stay in his position.

  His arm had long ago fallen asleep, and a hot shower sounded really good, but both were a small price to pay for the angel in his arms. Her long, dark eyelashes were fanned across her sun-tinted skin, and her face was peaceful—for the first time in days.

  One look at the pile of bacon and homemade biscuits, and his mouth started watering. He didn’t cook for himself much. He still lived on sandwiches, salads and protein shakes that allowed him to stay fit and race at the top of his game. Bacon had been a splurge he didn’t allow himself very often, but now…he was officially retired. Helping himself, the first bite was everything he was craving.

  “Oh my God…this tastes so good. Thank you. Maybe Lex will smell it, and want to eat this morning?”

  “You got her to sleep. If you can get her to eat too—I mean really eat, I’ll owe you the world, Son.” Molly smiled lovingly at her sleeping daughter. “Dallas, please know you are welcome to stay with her. I know this is a unique situation, but she needs you, and we understand that.”

  Still whispering, he cringed. “Are you sure? I mean, I want to, but are you sure you guys are really okay with it? I wasn’t even thinking last night. I should have asked you first.”

  Lowering herself onto the bed, she sat by his leg. He understood the sad smile. He got that no one wanted Alex to hurt, and he saw the pain her parents were trying to wade through every day. He felt the same way.

  “Carter and I talked about it for a long time last night. Let me ask you something, and please be honest, if not with me, then with yourself. Do you love her?”

  His smile came genuinely, “Yes, very much.”

  “I know you always have, but I mean, more. Not just the close
friendship you two have always had, is there more? Here’s the difference between what Carter dealt with, and what you’re going through. He had already made it clear how he felt, before my attack. You need to make sure you’re not drawn to her because you feel guilty.”

  “I don’t, Aunt Mol.” He closed his eyes, remembering Alex sitting in his old apartment surrounded by photos of their relationship. “I knew a few years ago. I just didn’t think anyone would understand, or that it would be alright. It felt wrong in a way. I was so lost because I knew she was the woman I loved, but it felt wrong, I didn’t know how to go about it. She is so much younger, plus everything else. To answer your question, no I‘m not here because I feel like I owe her. I love her and always have. And,” he took a deep breath and swallowed hard, “not in a just friends way,” he said to her mother. As embarrassing and difficult as it was to talk to her about it, he needed to say it. They needed to know his intentions. “I would love to get an apartment with her, and talk to Grandpa about building here somewhere, but she’s nowhere near ready for that, I know, but, to be honest, I am never leaving her.”

  “That’s what I wanted to hear. You’re right though, she’s not ready. But we are fine—both, Carter and I—we’re fine with you staying here.”

  He couldn’t help but feel like he was imposing on their space, and he was sleeping in their house with their daughter. In the old days it was fairly commonplace for young married couples to live with one set of their parents or the other, but he and Alex weren’t married. Hell, they weren’t even engaged…yet. But for now, it was the only answer to one of the problems he felt he could actually fix for Alex. So he forced his mouth to turn up. “Thank you, both.”

  “No, Dallas. Thank you. She needed you, and you were right there to help pick up the pieces. I remember being in that spot. Even though my family means the world to me, there was just a different sort of peace I felt when Carter was near. I can’t explain it, and I know it has to do with soulmate type of love versus the love you feel for your family. Like I said, I get it, and Carter gets it. You’re a soft landing place for her, and have been for years and years. You know her in ways even we don’t. As long as you loved her before any of this happened, then there won’t be any resentment later.”