Falling Free ( Falling Fast #3)

by Tina Wainscott

  She gave him an amazingly coy smile. “Tanner.”

  “I’m only a man. A man who wants you so bad that it hurts, and I’m trying really hard to honor your wishes. Please don’t tempt me beyond my will power.”

  She released a loud sigh. “Remind me again why I can’t have sex with you?”

  “All you’ve told me is that I kiss too well and feel too good.”

  She made an adorably confused face. “Whaaa? That doesn’t make any sense.”

  Now he did laugh. “That’s what I thought.” He pressed their linked hands to her hips. “But you have your reasons, and I’m sure they’re righteous.” He reluctantly released her and turned her toward the bathroom, where steam wafted out. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

  He hid the beers on his way back to his room. Maybe if she didn’t see them she’d forget they were here. He took a shower, shaved to the skin for the first time in three years, and threw on the shorts he’d bought to sleep in. Then he went back to Grace’s bathroom door and knocked.

  “You all right in there?”

  “I’m okay,” she answered.

  He leaned against the door and listened to her, to the water hitting her body and splashing down. Sometimes he hated being honorable. He could be in there with her right now, their slick bodies sliding together. Could be inside her.

  The water cut off, and he remained to make sure she didn’t fall as she stepped out of the tub. That’s what he told himself, anyway. And it was true, inasmuch as her safety was concerned. It’s just that it wasn’t the only reason.

  The door popped open before he expected it to, and he stood face-to-face with a beautiful, wet Grace, wrapped in a towel.

  “I forgot my clothes,” she said.

  “I’ll hand them to you.” He grabbed the shirt and bit off the plastic tag, then handed it to her. “I’ll be out in the living area.”

  He couldn’t handle standing that close to her, knowing that she was naked under the towel. He turned on the television but killed the lights and waited to see if she’d come out. Half of him hoped she’d crash on her bed.

  Don’t lie to yourself. It’s more like one-one-hundredth.

  The rest of him breathed out in relief when she stepped into the open doorway. Relief hell, it pushed him to get out of his chair and walk over to her. She wore the extra-large T-shirt, which came to midthigh. Even shapeless, it looked sexy on her, especially since it didn’t hide the shape of her boobs. Damn, she looked all lush and soft and sinful.

  He averted his gaze, even as he rubbed his hand over his stomach. “You feel all right?”

  She leaned against the open doorway. “More like I’m about to crash.”

  He pushed a bottle of water at her, with an aspirin that he’d readied. “Here, take this with a few big gulps of water.”

  Amazingly, she obeyed. And, luckily, she didn’t mention her lost beer. In fact, he could smell the mint from her toothpaste, so she was definitely done drinking. He was sad to see that Grace go, but she was way too much temptation. This one, though, was softer. So many sides to this woman, and he wanted to indulge in all of them. Vanilla, strawberry, coconut, and, yeah, that spicy chocolate, too.

  “Ready to sleep?” he asked.

  She nodded and looked at him with those incredible eyes filled with an emotion he couldn’t identify. No, that wasn’t true. He didn’t want to identify it, but he knew it as well as he knew her pain and her fears. She didn’t want to sleep alone, as she did every night. As he did.

  And he didn’t like it, either.

  He held out his hand, and she took it and let him lead her to his room. It wasn’t his cock that thrummed in anticipation of having her in bed with him; it was his heart. They lay facing each other, their legs intertwined, his hand on her hip. She rested her hand on his arm, tracing circles on his skin. The feel of her swarmed through his body like bees, vibrating, stinging.

  In the dimness of the room, she couldn’t see that he’d shaved. And maybe that he had no shirt on. He wanted her to touch him, to stroke his shoulder, his chest, his face. But right now he was in a different kind of controlled chaos, barely in command of the chaotic emotions and thoughts inside him. Of his heartbeat slamming inside him.

  “The room’s spinning,” she said in a husky whisper.

  “Yeah, I feel it, too.” But not because they’d had too much alcohol. “Come here. I’ll hold you and keep you stable.”

  Even though he couldn’t see her face clearly, he sensed some relief in her body. She scooted closer and turned her back into his chest. He wrapped his free arm over her collarbone and had to stop himself from crushing her to him.

  She sighed, so soft and sweet that it vibrated right into him. Her hand came up to curl over his forearm.

  “My reasons are righteous,” she murmured.

  “Tell me, Grace. I need to know.”

  She settled in closer. “I was afraid I’d lose myself in your kiss.”

  He released a measured breath. Waited for her to tell him more. Finally, he asked, “And did you?”

  Her voice was even softer now, as she slipped into sleep. “It was even worse than that—I found myself.” Those words floated like feathers in the silence, and then she said, “I don’t want to fall in love with anybody that hard.”

  —

  Tanner woke when the morning light crept in through the sheer curtains and halfway across the bed. Though, to be accurate, he hadn’t really slept much. Her confession churned in his mind, his gut. He didn’t want to fall in love, either. Love opened up vulnerable places that easily bled, because they’d never truly healed. She had been wounded, too.

  She lay on her side, facing him. Her dark, thick lashes brushed the curve of her cheeks. Her dark hair spilled across the pillow, and her lips were curled in a faint smile. She made him want to show her all of his hidden places, his hurts and secrets and hopes that he didn’t even know he had until he worked so hard to free her soul. Now that he’d done that, he wanted to see it all the time.

  Every day and every night.

  It stunned him, scared him, and gratified him all at once. Like the time he actually lost control of his car, when a tire rolled free and careened toward the wall. Then regained control at the last second.

  Thing was, his heart was only half of the potential casualties of the accident waiting to happen. He did not want to hurt her, never wanted to put in her eyes that soul ache she had the night they met. He wanted to protect her, to keep making her smile.

  Shit. He wasn’t even capable of staying in one place long enough to think that.

  No, he needed to keep his hands and his thoughts off her, especially given what she’d confessed.

  She’d downplayed the demise of her relationship with the schmuck from college, and Tanner wondered if it was the same as when he said he didn’t really care if his mother and sister had disappeared into the wind or that he was better off not knowing his father. The first two had gutted him in reality. His father was a huge hole inside him that he had no hope of ever filling. Questions. A blank space. A big fucking question mark.

  Grace was a question mark, too, of a totally different nature. Why did she make him feel so different from the way he’d felt with any other woman he ever met? He watched her sleep, something he was sure he’d never done before. In fact, by now he was usually thinking about what he needed to do that day and how to nicely extricate himself from the naked woman beside him.

  Not this one. He wanted to touch her soft cheek, brush his thumb across her pink lips. And maybe his wanting woke her up, because she opened her eyes, looking brighter than he expected. Her smile widened. Then her eyes widened.

  “You shaved,” she said, a squeak in her voice.

  “You asked me to, so I’d look illegally young or something.” He sat up and rubbed his chin, feeling only the slightest bristle. “Did it work?”

  She sat up, too, drinking in his face. First with her eyes, then leaning forward and stroking his jaw. “Y
ou look like a babe. A sweet, delicious babe. And, God help me, it doesn’t do a thing to make me want you less.” She climbed onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his newly shaved skin. His chin, his jaw, the corner of his mouth. “Thank you for last night. For thoroughly corrupting me. And for catching me when I fell free.”

  “Technically, I didn’t thoroughly corrupt you. In case you don’t remember.”

  That made her smile again. “I know you didn’t. You can’t imagine what it meant, Tanner, for me to let go and know I’d be safe. I felt like me for the first time in a long time.”

  Her proximity, her pelvis pressed right up against his, and her mouth not far from his while her fingers slid over his chin, made it difficult to pull his thoughts together for a second. “I loved watching you let loose, Grace,” he said at last. “You were a sight to behold, and I’m honored that you let me do it for you.”

  She settled even closer, right over his very hard dick, which she could hardly miss. Her hands moved up into his hair, which was no doubt a wild mess, since he’d gone to sleep with it damp. He involuntarily rolled his eyes back as her fingernails gently scraped across his scalp.

  “Grace…what are you doing, babe?”

  “I want to be like you. I want to live carefree, to flow through life. I want to live.” She leaned so close that her lips grazed his when she whispered, “And I want you. I don’t want to fight it anymore.”

  She started kissing him, and between kisses he asked, “Are you still drunk? Or am I dreaming?”

  She laughed. “Neither.”

  “What about your righteous reasons?” Did she remember telling him about finding herself in their kiss? And how she didn’t want to fall that hard?

  “Controlled chaos, baby,” she said, then traced her tongue over his lips.

  He groaned. How was he supposed to resist that? Her? He couldn’t fight it anymore, either. He’d never wanted a woman as much as he did her. But he had to pose the question. “Are you sure?”

  “You think I’d do this and back away again? I felt bad enough the first time. And I felt bad for me, too. I’ve done a lot of things I regretted, but I never regretted not doing something so much as I did leaving you on the beach.”

  He grabbed her ass and pulled her even closer as he fully engaged in the kiss. It felt as though he’d been waiting years to touch her, to love her. She pulled off her shirt and tossed it aside, leaving her in nothing but panties. Her hands slid up and down his bare back, fingers dipping under the elastic waistband of his shorts. Then lower, cupping his ass, squeezing. He could feel her own pent-up hunger in the hard grip of her fingers, in the catch in her breath as he brought his hands up to her breasts and circled her nipples with his thumbs.

  She arched into him, groaning softly into his mouth. It made him want to give her much more pleasure than his fingers could. He kissed and licked down her neck, then scooped her up and laid her on the bed.

  “You are so freaking beautiful,” he murmured, taking her nipple into his mouth and enjoying the way she clenched his hair and breathed faster.

  “Yes, tell me pretty lies,” she said. “Gorgeous words from your gorgeous mouth.”

  “Darlin’, that’s no lie.” Did she really not think she was beautiful? Something had beaten her down, stolen her confidence. Or someone. He would do everything he could to restore it.

  While you’re with her, that sober, logical voice whispered.

  He pushed the thought away and cupped her face. “You are amazingly gorgeous and smart and sassy and everything”—I want in a woman—“wonderful.”

  She studied him for a few moments, and he recognized the way she was trying to figure out if he was bullshitting her.

  “Truth,” he said. All of it, even the part he didn’t say.

  “Mmm,” she said, kissing him chastely. “And you are incredibly sexy, sweet, and honorable. And cute without that beard. Adorably cute.”

  “Cute? I don’t want to be cute.” He growled and playfully attacked her stomach, making her convulse. “Cute is for puppies and kittens.”

  She let out guttural laughs that he loved, husky, rough laughter that made him wonder how long it had been since she’d really lost it like this. When she regained control, she rolled him onto his back, straddling him. “Sorry, you’re right up there with sweet furballs.” She ran her tongue over his chest, sucking gently on his hairs. “Except in a sexy, manly way.” She sucked on his nipple, making him arch under her hot mouth. Then she moved to the center of his chest, burrowing in his hair before sucking on his other nipple. “I was curious what you looked like without the beard. I like your face naked.” She arched her eyebrow. “I’d like you even more totally naked. Take off the shorts.”

  She didn’t wait for him; she hooked her fingers over the waistband and yanked them down. After she’d tossed them aside, she took him in with heated eyes. “Holy shit, Artemis Tanner. You are friggin’ amazing.”

  “Honey, I haven’t done anything yet.”

  “You don’t have to. You can just lie there and look like…that. I want to eat you up.” And she did, leaning down and kissing, licking his chest, spreading her hands out and touching him as though she couldn’t get enough. He certainly couldn’t, giving himself over to her as her hot, wet mouth moved lower, over the planes of his stomach, brushing the tip of his cock. Then she took him, sucking, drawing him deep and bringing his whole body arching up.

  Holy hell, she was good. She leisurely pleasured him until the effort to restrain himself showed in the tremors of his muscles. Before he could release, he flipped her onto her back and gave her body the same ministrations. He’d always made an effort to please a woman, but with Grace there was no effort. He was totally present, tuned in to her every breath, every sharp intake, every quiver.

  He loved how she gave herself over to him, moaning, moving just so, and, especially, uttering his name in a raw whisper.

  “More, Tanner, more,” she said, unafraid to voice her desires.

  He was going to give her a lot more than that vibrator had, for sure. He teased, tracking away just before she would shatter, then flicking at her again. Just enough, but not enough. Her fingers curled into the sheets, and one hand came up and gripped his hair.

  “Tanner,” she begged, demanded, breathless to say more.

  He slid two fingers inside her and found her sweet spot, and then he brought his mouth down on her and let her shatter. She gasped and arched so hard that she slammed her pelvis into his chin. He kept sucking and licking and sent her splintering again and again.

  She collapsed afterward, breath sawing in and out. “My bones melted,” she managed. “You literally caused every bone in my body to dissolve.”

  Her face was beautifully flushed, and for a second he felt his own bones dissolve just taking her in. For instance, he thought he was smiling, but he couldn’t feel the pull of his mouth. He’d never felt like this before. Not the first time he executed a proper drift. Not when his thousand-horsepower car slid gloriously, perilously close to the wall before he pulled it back under control.

  She finally came to herself, smiling as she met his gaze. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “Like what?” he said, his voice oddly pitched. He didn’t know exactly what his expression was, only that he couldn’t tear his eyes away from hers. Couldn’t breathe.

  “Probably the same way I’m looking at you. Like I need you to bury yourself in me.” She slapped her hand over her face. “We should’ve bought condoms last night!” Then she peered at him from around her hand. “Please tell me you have some.”

  Some. He had to clear his head, clear the implication of that word. “Yes. I have one or two. Honestly, it’s been a while since I’ve had need of one. Or wanted to.”

  She narrowed her eyes and studied him. She didn’t guess truth or lie.

  “It’s true,” he said, leaning forward to kiss her. He reached for his wallet, discarded on the nightstand, and retrieve
d the lone condom.

  She took it, tore it open with her teeth, and rolled it down his cock. Damn, the feel of her fingers deftly handling him, the way she took control, incredible. She pushed him back on the bed and climbed on top, straddling his hips with her thighs. Easing onto him, and then downshifting, her head thrown back and her eyes closed, just about drove him to the brink. He held on, gripping her waist, loving the way her full breasts bounced with her thrusts. She felt hot and wet and terrifyingly like something he’d never had—home.

  The shock of it made him utter her name, with reverence and awe, and brought her gaze back to him. Thank God she didn’t analyze that. But it spoke to something in her, because she linked her hands with his and planted them on either side of his head. In the same motion, she smashed her mouth down on his.

  They moved together, her silky hair brushing his shoulders, her nipples scraping his chest, her belly soft on his. He wanted more of her, though, more contact. He sat up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms over his shoulders. She could still control the movements, but now he could hold her closer, feel her whole body mashing up against his. He stroked her back, her ass, and traced the seam down to where their bodies joined.

  “Tanner,” she murmured, and then again with a stutter, a gasp, and a breathy moan as her body convulsed in orgasm. She yanked him closer, her fingers gripping his hair.

  Her pulsing heat, the way she kept saying his name in her ecstasy, shoved him over the edge. He fell free, too, in a way he’d never done before. Because he knew what it did for him, he uttered her name over and over, clutching her tight against him.

  He dropped back on the bed, taking her with him. “Say my name again,” he asked, surprised to find his voice husky.

  Her face was nuzzled into the crook of his neck, her breath hot and tickling. “Tanner. Artemis Tanner,” she said, twining her fingers into his hair.

  For the first time, the name felt real to him.

  He ran his hand over the back of her head. “Grace.” Mine. That’s what he’d wanted to say. Mine, for now.

  But a part of him just settled for mine.