Leap of Faith

by Candy Harper

  He looked at his hands for a second. ‘I guess I’m all right. Dad left on Sunday. That was pretty bad, but it is a relief not to listen to them yelling all the time.’

  We had a good chat. Not just about his parents but about exams and pressure at school and the problem with everyone thinking you’re a smart arse.

  I even got to give him that hug at the end.

  LATER

  One more exam tomorrow. And then I am never thinking a single thing again.

  THURSDAY 19TH JULY

  Finished! I said to Mum and Dad this evening, ‘I think we can all agree that I’ve given this school business a fair try. I’ve been at it for ten years and other than a few near exclusions, which I still consider to be down to nothing more than high spirits, I’ve done pretty well at it. But I’ve been thinking and I thought I’d let you know that I don’t think it’s for me. Exams are really quite tiring so I’ve decided not to bother with any more.’ I smiled at them to show I was willing to make reasonable compromises. ‘If you like I could wait till Christmas to drop out officially, as long as no one expects me to do PE or Geography during that time.’

  Mum and Dad exchanged a look. ‘You wouldn’t want to leave school,’ Mum said. ‘What could you do without any qualifications?’

  ‘You’re always telling me that I can do anything I set my mind to.’

  Dad shook his head. ‘That’s just something we say to encourage you. Obviously you can’t do anything without good grades.’

  ‘Listen, my kind of genius isn’t the kind that you can measure.’ I turned on Mum, ‘I thought you believed that life is the greatest education anyway?’

  ‘I do, but I’m not sure that many scientists agree with me. I thought you wanted to be a chemist?’

  ‘A Nobel-prize winning chemist,’ I corrected her. ‘And I’m pretty sure that any employer would make an exception for me.’

  ‘If you like you can take the whole summer off,’ Dad said.

  ‘Everyone is having the summer off.’

  ‘We’re not,’ Mum said.

  ‘You can if you want to; I give you permission. Just make sure we’ve got plenty of cash for meals out and holidays and things.’

  ‘Faith, we know you’ve worked hard. Why don’t you just forget about education for a bit and then in September we’ll resume our nagging and you can get back to moaning.’

  ‘I suppose so.’

  And then Dad said, ‘You’ve done really well with your revision.’ And handed me several ten pound notes.

  I blinked. ‘Thank you, Father.’ I gave them a gracious nod. ‘Just so you know, next year when I do my real GCSEs, I’ll be expecting diamonds.’

  FRIDAY 20TH JULY

  We’ve finally reached the end of term. I don’t know why we’ve bothered with this last day. Everyone was exhausted from the mocks; I spent most of the morning snoozing. Megs said that the teachers just gave out word searches to those who’d remained conscious and then started looking for last minute holiday deals on line. When Megs woke me up to go to lunch I told Mrs McCready that she should forget about Portugal. If she really is as committed to the education of children as she claims to be, she ought to spend the holidays cleaning out the fish tank so I can concentrate on my Biology lessons instead of worrying about what those little eggs in the layer of green slime are going to hatch into. Mrs Mac said she needed a rest and I laughed. What does she think she’s been doing all term? All I’ve witnessed while we swot away is her sitting at her desk eating Minstrels when she thinks we’re not looking. She said a classroom full of teenagers was pretty tiring in itself. Honestly, why are old people so limp and lazy?

  In the afternoon we had an end of term assembly where people get certificates for best kept socks and most sucking up to Ramsbottom and that kind of thing. I regretted sleeping through RE and biology because now I was wide awake and forced to listen to Miss R going on about how exciting it is that some Year Sevens went somewhere and did something and then drew some pictures about it. Maybe I’ll just go back into Year Seven in September. Those sort of light colouring-in duties are about as much as I want to commit to.

  I’d just managed to block out Miss R’s droning by wrapping Ang’s jumper around my head when Megs started poking me. It was time for the new prefects to be announced.

  That woke me up. I thought about what Mum said, about it not being the end of the world if they didn’t pick me. I could feel Icky’s beady eyes on me. I knew if she was chosen and I wasn’t, I’d never hear the end of it.

  Miss R read out the list by tutor group. My old tutor group, Mrs Hatfield’s, was first. I clutched Megs’s hand.

  ‘Megan Baptiste,’ Miss R said.

  There was some very dignified whooping from our row while Megs got up to go and stand on the stage. I thought the next two choices were very ill advised.

  It made me feel a bit more hopeful about my own chances.

  Next was 10NM.

  When Miss R called out Icky’s name someone near the back made a vomiting noise. I hadn’t even paid them. It just goes to show that I’m clearly not the only one that thinks she is an evil pixie of pain, despair and stinky perfume.

  ‘I feel sorry for any Year Sevens that misbehave on her watch,’ Angharad whispered.

  I nodded. ‘They’d better be careful; it will be easy for her to infiltrate their ranks. She’s exactly the same size as them.’

  ‘But not as smart,’ Lily said.

  I discretely laughed my pants off.

  By the time we got to our form, my heart was a tiny bit poundy.

  The good thing about having a surname that starts with ‘A’ is that you get to know whether to thump someone or to do a star jump straight away.

  ‘Faith Ashby,’ Miss Ramsbottom said with a definite sneer.

  I did a star jump. And then skipped up to the stage. I’m going to be a prefect! When I squeezed in next to Megs I waited for her heartfelt congratulations.

  ‘You’ve still got Ang’s jumper on your head,’ she said.

  I whipped the jumper off.

  Miss R called out three more names from my tutor group. Angharad was one of them but Lily wasn’t. To be honest, ever since she’d told me that she’d talked about her toe-sock collection in her interview I had been a bit concerned about her chances. I hoped she wasn’t going to be upset. I peered between heads to where she was sat in the audience. She had her feet up on my seat and she seemed to be tying her shoelaces together.

  I didn’t think she was too upset.

  By the time Miss R got to the end of her list there were about twenty of us up on stage.

  Everybody clapped until Ramsbum waved her hands for quiet. ‘Well done, girls. I’m pleased to say that the interview panel were very impressed with the calibre of the applicants this year and they assured me that there are a number of excellent candidates for the position of head girl.’

  She pulled a face that didn’t look at all pleased or assured.

  ‘In the end they chose a young lady that they found to be intelligent, polite and with a proven track record of service to the school. They were also impressed by the amount of support that this girl had from the other interviewees. It gives me pleasure to announce that Westfield High’s new head girl is . . .’ She paused in what I imagine she thought was a dramatic fashion. I promised myself that if Icky was made head I’d run away and join the circus.

  ‘Angharad Jones,’ Miss Ramsbottom said.

  Angharad’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. ‘Me?’ she said.

  I gave her a hug.

  There was some very loud clapping. Everyone loves Ang.

  Except Icky. She was pouting and generally looking like a grumpy garden gnome.

  Miss Ramsbottom clapped her hands for quiet. ‘I’m sure that you will all assist these girls in doing their duty and ensuring that our school is one that we can all be proud of.’

  That’ll never happen. But everyone was so pleased and so end-of-termy that we gave Ramsbum a big clap
too.

  I’m so happy for Ang; she’s going to be a brilliant head girl.

  SATURDAY 21ST JULY

  It was great waking up this morning knowing that I don’t have to do anything until September. I might ask Mum if I can get a TV and a fridge in my room and then I’d only have to get out of bed when I wanted to see my friends.

  When I came downstairs for breakfast Mum said, ‘Granny’s here.’

  ‘Well, that’s a relief. The one thing missing from my perfect day was the presence of someone so old they can’t stand still too long for fear that once their joints stop moving they might never get going again.’

  ‘She’s got you a present.’

  ‘I’ve always said a day without Granny is a day without sunshine.’

  I pushed past Mum and into the sitting room. ‘Where is she? Where’s my favourite grandmother?’

  Granny swivelled round in her chair and narrowed her beady eyes. ‘I’m your only grandmother.’

  I stared right back at her. ‘Don’t think I couldn’t rustle up another grandparent if I thought you needed replacing.’

  ‘I hear you’ve been working hard for your exams.’

  It’s nice to know that for once my parents are making conversation about something important, i.e. me, rather than waffling on about the price of dish cloths.

  ‘And you’re finished now, are you?’

  ‘I am. In fact, before I start on my summer of rock and roll and Magnum ice creams, I might have time for a quick game of Scabby Queen with you.’

  Granny nodded graciously as if she was doing me the favour.

  After we’d had a few hands she pulled a small package out of her handbag. ‘This is for you. To say thank you for your help with the flowers, and well done for working so hard for your exams.’

  I opened the paper carefully in case it was five hundred pounds in notes – which is what I always ask for at Christmas and my birthday, but for some reason no one has ever run with that suggestion.

  Inside was a jewellery box. I opened it and inside there was a pair of earrings. Teeny tiny, super sparkly earrings. Really sparkly. ‘Those aren’t . . . ?’

  Granny looked pleased with herself. ‘Diamonds? Yes, they are. Your mother said you wanted some.’

  I made a mental note to tell Mum that I want a Mercedes and a studio apartment.

  ‘Thank you Granny!’ And then, I have to admit, I hugged her.

  ‘You may as well have them now,’ she said. ‘Otherwise, you’ll be trying to bump me off to get them in my will.’

  I beamed at her. ‘Granny, I can honestly say that right now, I fully intend to let you live out your natural life span with no foul play on my part.’

  ‘I’ll take that as another thank you. Of course, they’re not my best ones.’ She snapped her handbag closed. ‘You’ll have to prise those out of my cold dead hands.’

  ‘Will do, Granny. Will do.’

  LATER

  As I was in such a good mood I had lunch with my family and let them know how much I love them. I said to Sam, ‘Have you done something new with your hair? You look slightly less like a moron than usual.’

  Sam stole one of my sandwiches and I gave him an affectionate throttling while I stole three back.

  ‘And you two,’ I said to Mum and Dad. ‘You’re both looking very young and energetic for a couple of old codgers.’

  They’re not a bad lot. I gave them all a hug before I headed out this afternoon.

  And I didn’t even pick anyone’s pockets.

  LATER STILL

  Megs’s dad dropped us off at the farm where the music festival was taking place. Three fields had been transformed into some kind of tent city. There were two music stages and loads of food sellers. Mostly of the veggie organic variety that my mum loves, which is fine except that a mushroom burger costs a packet (and when you ask for a plastic fork or a paper napkin they look at you as if you’re trying to single-handedly destroy the planet). There were also tons of stalls selling everything from bangles to old vinyl records. We met the others and headed to the local bands stage because someone Westy knows was playing drums in the first band on.

  They were one of those bands that mostly shout and thump their guitars, rather than going in for any of that melodic harmony stuff, but they weren’t bad. By the time they’d finished, the field was starting to get crowded and I was roasting.

  Westy looked like he was being boiled in his clothes. ‘Phew! They were amazing weren’t they? I can do that thing he did at the end when you put the drumstick between your teeth. Well, I can do it sometimes; by the time my band gets a gig I’ll be really good at it.’ He threw himself down on the crushed grass. ‘Who’s going to get me a drink?’

  ‘I’ll get everyone a drink,’ I said and I completely promise that it was just to be kind, and to spend some of the money Dad gave me, and not because of what I said next, because I didn’t even know that I was going to say what I said next. You know how my mouth just runs away. It opened up all by itself and said, ‘Come and help me carry them,’ to Ethan.

  ‘Sure.’ He stood up and pushed his curls out of his eyes while I tried to take a good long look at him without it seeming like I was staring.

  The sun was really beating down and there were a lot of people milling about.

  Ethan scanned the crowd. ‘It’s busy, isn’t it?’

  I wondered if he was looking for anyone in particular.

  Then I spotted Dawn. She was stood on top of a hay bale to get a better look at the main stage where some folky band were playing. She was dressed all in black and didn’t seem to be feeling the heat at all. She looked amazing. I had a horrible vision of Ethan spotting her and going over to chat and . . . them getting friendly again. But rather than dragging him away, I said, ‘Dawn’s over there.’ Because, let’s face it, if a boy agrees to get in a queue for drinks with you, it only means something if he chooses to do it when he knows that his beautiful ex-girlfriend is by herself on a hay bale nearby.

  ‘I know,’ he said. ‘I bumped into her at the gate.’

  What I wanted to ask was, What did she say? What did you say? But I settled for, ‘Did you?’

  ‘Yeah, she had some terrible idea about the two of us hanging out, but I told her I was here with you.’

  I wondered if that meant ‘you’ as in me, or ‘you’ as in you lot.

  ‘So you’re not bothered that she’s here?’

  Ethan shrugged. ‘I can’t stop people who’ve annoyed me a bit from going where they choose.’

  ‘Although, obviously, in an ideal world that is exactly what we’d be able to do,’ I said.

  ‘I’ll work on that when they come to their senses and make me king.’

  I sneaked another look at him; he looked better than he had done in ages. ‘So . . . does that mean Dawn didn’t break your heart?’

  ‘Nah, I mean before she made me look like a bit of an idiot I thought she was . . .’

  ‘Gorgeous?’

  ‘She was a good laugh. But to be honest, Faith, it wasn’t exactly a surprise when I heard that she’d been seeing other people. She’d told me that she wanted to keep it casual. She said I could see other people if I wanted to.’

  ‘Oh.’ Imagine dating Ethan and not wanting him all to yourself.

  ‘I was going try it, but when it came to it, I realised I’m not that sort of person.’

  I was struggling a bit to take this all in. In spite of everything he’d said I couldn’t help wondering if he would still be with Dawn if she’d shown a bit more commitment. It wasn’t a very nice thought.

  I bought eight cans of Coke and we went back to the others.

  The rest of the afternoon was pretty good; we ate chips and listened to the music. Lily had her face painted and Westy ate so many burgers that Angharad finally got to use the emergency indigestion pill that she carries around with her. But I was slightly distracted thinking about Ethan.

  I waited until the others were engrossed in watching Westy t
ry to persuade the man running the kids’ bouncy castle that he should let him have a go, then I sidled up to Ethan. ‘Can I ask you something?’

  His face spread into a lazy grin. ‘Anything.’

  ‘That time in the ghost train . . .’

  His grin disappeared. ‘Are you thinking that I’m a horrible hypocrite because I didn’t want Dawn to see other people, but there I was putting my arm around you in the dark?’

  Which was a good point. As if things weren’t complicated enough already.

  ‘Actually, I wasn’t thinking you were a horrible hypocrite, but thanks for suggesting it because now I come to think about it, it was hypocritical. Wasn’t it?’

  He looked at the ground. ‘I . . . Dawn said she didn’t mind.’

  ‘What if I minded? You were just using me to see if you wanted to do this whole casual relationship thing.’

  ‘Is that what you think?’

  That didn’t seem like a fair question.

  ‘What am I supposed to think?’

  ‘Faith!’ Westy grabbed me by the shoulder. ‘Faith, you’ve got to tell this bloke that inside my manly body is the heart of a child! He says I’m too old for the bouncy castle.’

  ‘Sorry, Westy. I’m . . . I’ve got a bit of a headache. I think I’m going to sit in the shade for a while.’

  I turned to leave but Megs caught my arm and gave me an enquiring look.

  ‘I’m fine,’ I said. ‘I just need to cool down for ten minutes.’

  So I walked off to the edge of the field and sat down under a tree with my back to the crowds. I wasn’t sure if I was being daft or not. I just felt a bit hurt. It seemed like the only reason Ethan had even thought about kissing me was to play Dawn at her own game.

  ‘Oh, it’s you.’

  I looked up to find Icky and someone who I assumed must be her latest boyfriend. He had that look in his eyes; you know, the look of someone who’s been hit around the head with a cricket bat until they agreed to a date with a girl who I can only imagine came about as the result of an ill-thought out experiment to splice the heart of a troll into the body of a pig.