APPETITE

by Kathyrn, Lorraine

  "Tuesday," Becky said, giggling.

  "Alright. Tuesday. I got a flat. And I was on the side of the road, trying to change my tire, when out of nowhere this man shows up."

  "You mean he just appeared?"

  "No." Charlie rolled her eyes at Becky's teasing. "I mean I didn't hear him pull up. I was too busy trying to get the bad tire off. You know how oblivious I can get at times." Becky grunted in the affirmative and Charlie continued. "He was standing by his truck. And my first thought was 'holy shit that's a big man'."

  "Tall?"

  "Yeah. And broad. He's a rancher, you know, and he has an absolutely delectable physique. Dark brown hair. Super dark eyes. Golden skin. Full lips." Charlie sighed and Becky laughed at her.

  "I get it. He's yum-tastic," she snorted. Charlie could almost see her eyes rolling through the phone and smiled. She told her friend about her first impression of him, how he took her to the garage and then the motel.

  "Wait....I thought you were staying with him?" she asked.

  "I didn't that first night."

  "Oh, right. Hard to get. Good idea," Becky snorted.

  "Becky!" Charlie laughed. "It wasn't like that. I'm not like that."

  "I know, I know. Jesus, Char, I still can't believe you're staying with some guy you just met and he's calling you love. I mean, no offense, but you were always the one most likely to die a spinster."

  "Oh very nice, Beck. Really." She threw herself back on the bed and sighed. "Besides, I'm a divorcee, so technically can't be a spinster."

  "Stop being obtuse."

  "Because you really think I'm acute," Charlie finished their old joke and Becky giggled.

  "Tell me everything." Charlie did. She talked for another 20 minutes, almost totally uninterrupted by her friend. She told her about their first 'date', how badly she reacted (though her friend claimed she was in the right), what happened the next day, the long horseback ride and talk, dinner, sex...everything.

  "So let me get this straight," her friend said when stopped talking. "Within 24 hours of meeting this guy, you told him all about Keith, and showed him your stomach?"

  "Well, it was more like 28 hours, but yeah." She smiled at using Damien's joke.

  "I knew you for three years before I even knew you had an ex-husband."

  "Yeah I know. It's weird, right, but I just...I don't know. It just seemed right. He just...seemed right," Charlie explained, shrugging her shoulders. "Besides, you're not a handsome rancher and I don't want to have sex with you," she laughed.

  "Good point," Becky said. She was quiet for a moment and then started cackling.

  "What?" Charlie asked warily. She wasn't sure she wanted to know what made her friend laugh like a fiend.

  "I told you so! I totally told you so!"

  "Told me what?"

  "Remember what the cards said before you left? You were going to meet the love of your life on this trip?"

  "Oh please!" Charlie sighed, shaking her head a bit at her friend's mysticism. "All your tarot hocus pocus said was my moving would be good for my love life. Nothing about falling in love with some guy in some random shitsplat town in Washington."

  "Exactly. And we were right, weren't we?"

  "Right," she snorted. "I mean, you did say I would meet someone male. Good on you."

  "Admit it, Char. The cards were right. Again." Charlie just snorted at that. "So tell me...how was the sex?"

  "Fine," Charlie said. She could feel her face get hot.

  "That's it? Just 'fine'?"

  "Jeez, Beck. What's wrong with fine?"

  "Fine is when you get seats in the loge instead of the orchestra. Fine is when you are going to be late for Fiesta. Fine is when they don't have your size in the shoes you want so you go with your second choice. Fine is not – I repeat – not an acceptable adjective for sex. Now spill."

  "You're sick, you know that? Mentally deranged."

  "Yeah. We've both known that for a while. Now spill."

  "Alright," Charlie took a deep breath and rolled on to her side, looking at the pillows at the head of the bead. "It was...it was better than I remembered, Beck. Except, maybe it wasn't? Maybe it was just better than I knew it ever could be? I mean, I don't have a lot of experience to compare it to."

  "True."

  "It was so slow. So very, very slow. But not that that was bad. At all. It was...it was delicious. I've never felt so desired, so wanted. And I never wanted anyone so badly. I thought I would explode if he didn't touch me. It was almost painful."

  "The sex?"

  "No. The...want. I wanted him so badly it was a physical ache." Charlie sighed, rolling on to her back again. "It was so perfect. He fit me so perfect. I've never felt so complete, Becky. Never. I didn't know where he ended and I began. And I didn't want to know." She took a deep breath, smiling at the ceiling again. "And the next time it was just as perfect. Not slow. It was dirty and erotic and wild.

  "And perfect."

  "Holy crap, Char. When you end your dry spell you really end your dry spell." Charlie laughed. "You love him." It was a statement.

  "I don't know. Maybe."

  "Right. Maybe."

  "You know what's weird? I feel like...this is where I was always meant to be. Like as soon as I met him, it was like I always knew him."

  "Like déjà vu?"

  "No. It's like I was fated to meet him."

  "But you don't believe in fate."

  "I know I don't. Or didn't."

  "So when can I come out and meet him?"

  "What?"

  "When can I come meet him?"

  "Umm, can you let me get settled before you start planning your trip? This is putting everything back at least a week."

  "Well, yeah – but wait. Wait wait wait. You're still going to Oregon?"

  "Why wouldn't I be?"

  "Um...hello? Earth to Charlie? Handsome rancher ring a bell?"

  "What does that mean?"

  "You finally let someone in. Don't run away from it."

  "I'm not."

  "Yeah. Just like you're leaving Santa Fe had nothing to do with el douchebag's pending parole, huh?"

  "I'm not running away from Damien." Charlie sat up again, her brow creased. "I mean, I can't just change my plans for some guy, can I? I can't go and change my life?"

  "You wouldn't be changing for some guy, Char, you'd be changing for you. For yourhappiness. You deserve that, you know."

  "Besides, who's to say this means anything to him? You should see him, Beck. He could have any woman he set his mind to get. Really. I've met an ex of his, and she is exquisite."

  "Are you listening to yourself? You are one of the prettiest women I've ever met, Charlie. And I've met a lot, I've had a lot. It's just too bad you're so committed to the dark side 'cause I have quite a few friends that would have lined up to take you out."

  "Nice, Becky. Really. I'm just saying, this woman – she was beyond beauty."

  "Yeah, okay.... But, she's his ex for a reason. Reason being he didn't want her."

  "Becky, ..."

  "We should get going, dolcezza," Damien said from the doorway. "Darian and Eva are expecting us." He hated interrupting her call. From what he could hear of Becky's part of the conversation, her friend was pushing her to stay. He would have preferred to give her friend more time to talk to her.

  "Is that him?" Becky asked.

  "Yeah. I've got to go. We're having dinner with his brother and sister-in-law."

  "Oh really?" Becky snorted. "Sounds like he thinks it's just a casual thing."

  "Beck, really, I have to go."

  "Put him on."

  "What? No!"

  "I want to talk to him. Put him on the phone."

  "Are you in junior high?" She looked up to find Damien standing in front of her smiling. "You do not need to talk to him. I have to go," she continued with a sigh, "but we will continue this conversation another time." She clicked off the phone and handed it to Damien. She stood to put her jeans on, her c
heeks hot, knowing he heard a good deal of what was said.

  He had just put the phone back on the cradle when it rang again.

  "This is Damien," he said, watching Charlie shimmy into her pants.

  "It's Becky. I want to talk to you." No preamble, no niceties. Just right to the point. Damien felt a begrudging respect for her.

  "Talk."

  "Okay," Becky took a deep breath. "So, I know a bit about you, but since you don't know anything about me I feel I should fill you in on a few points: 1 – I am loyal to a fault; 2 – my friends are my family and I love them beyond reason; 3 – I am crazy protective of my family."

  "I see," Damien said, trying not to sound amused. "Perhaps I should let you in on a couple points our mutual friend didn't disclose?" Charlie was staring at him, eyes wide as she realized who he had to be talking to.

  "Please."

  "1 – I would die protecting those I care about; 2 – I care about her more than I care about anyone else. Period." Charlie relaxed a bit at that, smiling gently. She took the towel off her head and went back in to the bathroom to hang it up and put her hair up in a clip. She came back in to the bedroom and slipped into her Keds before taking the seat by the window, watching Damien talk to Becky.

  There was a pause before Becky finally spoke again. "Don't let her leave."

  "How?"

  "Do whatever you have to do, but don't let her leave."

  "I would like nothing more," Damien said quietly. He looked at Charlie and felt his gut clench at the thought of her leaving.

  "Look," Becky said with a sigh, "you probably won't believe me, but I can tell just by her voice...she needs you. Don't let her run."

  "I will do my best."

  "And one more thing? If you do hurt her, I will make you a eunuch. Are we clear?"

  "We are," Damien said, smiling widely. He liked this friend. It made him happy to know Charlie had someone that loyal and protective.

  "Good." With that, she hung up.

  Damien put the phone back on it's cradle and turned towards the door. "Come, dolcezza," he held his hand out to Charlie.

  "Sorry about that." She walked over to him and took his hand.

  "Sorry about what?" he asked, leading them down the stairs and out of his apartment.

  "Becky can be a bit over-the-top." She smiled at him sheepishly. "Sorry you had to deal with her."

  "I didn't mind at all," he brought her hand up to his lips and brushed them over her knuckles, smiling at the way she shivered. "She seemed pretty straightforward and no-nonsense."

  "Yeah, well, she is that." Charlie said as Damien led them into Darian and Eva's apartment.

  "We're here," he called out, leading Charlie through the living room to the kitchen. Darian was prepping some of the biggest t-bone steaks Charlie had ever seen while Eva sat at the counter watching.

  "Damien, Charlie," Darian said, nodding at them as they entered. "I was just getting ready to throw the steaks on the grill."

  "Are those yours?" Charlie asked, looking at the steaks closely. "I mean, from your cattle?"

  "Yeah, they're Triple D."

  "They look delicious. Great marbling." Eva smiled at her and motioned for her to take the stool next to her. Charlie walked around the counter and sat.

  "How do you like your steak?" Darian asked.

  "Medium if you can. Medium well is okay, too."

  "Why do you even bother asking?" Damien asked his brother. "Every steak you cook ends up being practically raw."

  "Not true," Darian protested.

  "Yes it is," Damien and Eva said in unison.

  'Go help your brother with the steaks,' Eva sent to Damien.

  'I don't need help,' Darian grumbled back to his mate.

  'Yes you do. And I would like to talk to Charlie,' Eva countered.

  "Come on, Darian, I'll show you how to properly grill a steak," Damien said, taking the plate out of his brother's hands and heading towards their terrace.

  "I really don't need any help," Darian grumbled, following his brother.

  "He does. He really does," Eva sighed and watched the men. She turned towards Charlie and gave her a warm smile. "So, how are things going?"

  "Things?"

  "With Damien? Between you two?"

  "They're...uh...things are good." She looked at Eva warily. "Why do you ask?"

  "Well, to be honest Charlie, he's...different...since he met you."

  "The smiling and laughing thing?"

  "Well, yes."

  "Can I ask what that's about?" Charlie looked around to make sure the two men were still out of the room. "So many people have brought this up to me. Is it really that big a deal?"

  "People here care about Damien, Charlie. And since he's met you, he's different. He's happy."

  "What happened, Eva? What made him so unhappy?"

  "He was hurt. Pretty badly."

  "Mira?"

  "Oh, no," Eva said with a laugh. She got up and got a bottle of red out of the wine cabinet and handed it to Charlie with the opener. "Would you mind opening that for me? Mira was nothing to him. Believe me." She got four glasses down and lined them up.

  "Then why has she been such a bitch?" Charlie asked, concentrating on the wine and missing the expression that crossed Eva's face.

  "She's insecure, I think. She sees Damien finding his happiness in you, and it reminds her she has yet to find her own." She moved to the fridge and got out a large bowl of salad and a bowl of cut fruit, placing them on the counter.

  "Let me get those for you," Charlie said, sliding off her stool and going to the counter. "Where do you want them?"

  "In the dining room," Eva said, pointing the way. Charlie walked through an archway at the far end of the kitchen and placed the bowls on the large golden oak table. Eva followed with the wine, glasses, plates and silverware. "Would you bring the condiments and stuff I put on the counter?"

  "Sure." Charlie went back to the kitchen and gathered the dressing, steak sauce, salt and pepper from the counter. On a whim she went in to the fridge and grabbed the Dijon mustard before heading back to the dining room. She put her load in the center of the table and looked at Eva. "So tell me, who hurt him?"

  "That is not my story to tell, Charlie. But you have only to ask him and I am sure he will tell you himself." Eva held out a glass of wine, and Charlie took it gratefully. "Let's go sit in the living room while they finish grilling."

  "Alright," Charlie said, following Eva through another archway to a cozy room with two plush couches and a low table. The walls were lined with curio cabinets and bookshelves. "Oh wow, that's beautiful," Charlie said, spying an acoustic guitar on one of the shelves. It had an exquisite mother-of-pearl inlay made to look like the full moon on the face of the guitar.

  "Do you play?" Eva asked, moving next to Charlie.

  "I know a couple songs."

  "Please," Eva said, taking Charlie's glass on the table, "Darian hardly ever plays anymore, and it makes such a beautiful sound." She took the guitar out and handed it to Charlie.

  "Are you sure?" Charlie said, taking it from Eva gingerly.

  "Positive."

  Charlie moved to the couch and sat carefully, placing the guitar on her knee and plucking at the strings, tuning it and humming along. "That's a gorgeous sound." She smiled at Eva and ran some chords, loosening up her fingers. "You sure Darian won't mind?"

  "Not at all," Eva said with a laugh.

  Charlie smiled and closed her eyes, her fingers effortlessly finding the notes she hadn't played in years and Jewel's 'You Were Meant for Me' took shape around her. She tapped her foot in time with the song, her body following her hands and making her sway slightly as she began to sing along.

  Damien and Darian heard Charlie start to play from where they stood by the grill. As her voice reached them Damien turned to watch her.

  "She's quite good," Darian said, taking the steaks off the grill and putting them on a plate.

  "Yes, she is," Damien glanced at his br
other with a smile.

  "When are you going to tell her?"

  "I need to." Damien ran his hand through his hair. He was still watching Charlie through the glass doors. "I nearly shifted this morning when we were making love."

  "She didn't notice?" Darian asked as he ran a brush along the grill grates. Damien shook his head. "That was very lucky."